AF Daily - Saturday August 27
heya - yes new team is a super happy place part torn my pcl ligament so need knee brace to be made for me to skate in. I am still going to practices tho to hang out.
I'm getting a quote for painting downstairs(ivory and feature wall of crazy wall paper or bright colour) and painting hall/stairs and either sanding downstairs floors or laying wooden laminate.
Put on so much weight that have finally surrendered and bought new 'going out' clothes - to fit my new size - was wearing old clothes 1-2 sizes too small, stretchy material so not as bad as it sounds but I need a bit more strategic draping!!
What also worked for me was a smattering of AA (ODAT) and SMART combined along with Allan Carr book.
Done a lot of thinking since woman at work commented on food diary ' I am seeing unhappiness,misery, what do you need to change otherwise you will always be unhappy/see eating creep'.
Realised snacking on junk for me and alcohol is self harm and safety blanket combined - all because i try to care take others feelings too much/people please/approval seek. I felt REALLY angry this week when i realised that and have been keeping a food/mood/exercise diary.
This really brought into focus the alcohol - role in depression/anxiety - OH sees it and i tried the 'just have a few' - useless- still feel shit after 'a few' and it's a monumental effort to keep it at a few - what is 'a few' tends to become blurry as well.
I wrote in my diary if it wasn't alcohol but a food that had the same effects - without all of cultural values put on alcohol here (especially in UK - drinking culture is the norm) - i would without doubt stop it - or if a friend told me of same issues i have had with alcohol - i would first of all advise her to cut down - if that didn't work(which it clearly doesn't for me) I'd suggest she give up.
I think with idea of forever/long term af there is a bit of me too scared to admit defeat/that i am out of control - well maybe i don't have to(as that seems to be a trigger for me drinking!) - i just have to stop drinking.
Worst that will happen if i could control it and don't drink is i miss out a few drinks in my life - worst that will happen if i carry on and can't control it is life will become truly awful - and i may be permanently physically/mentally/emotionally damaged/not able to stop.
Sandwich post - or a coffee and biscuit/cookie??:H
I need to catch up on threads to see what has been going on - hope you all surviving hurricanes/earthquakes/heat waves/floods
heya - yes new team is a super happy place part torn my pcl ligament so need knee brace to be made for me to skate in. I am still going to practices tho to hang out.
I'm getting a quote for painting downstairs(ivory and feature wall of crazy wall paper or bright colour) and painting hall/stairs and either sanding downstairs floors or laying wooden laminate.
Put on so much weight that have finally surrendered and bought new 'going out' clothes - to fit my new size - was wearing old clothes 1-2 sizes too small, stretchy material so not as bad as it sounds but I need a bit more strategic draping!!
What also worked for me was a smattering of AA (ODAT) and SMART combined along with Allan Carr book.
Done a lot of thinking since woman at work commented on food diary ' I am seeing unhappiness,misery, what do you need to change otherwise you will always be unhappy/see eating creep'.
Realised snacking on junk for me and alcohol is self harm and safety blanket combined - all because i try to care take others feelings too much/people please/approval seek. I felt REALLY angry this week when i realised that and have been keeping a food/mood/exercise diary.
This really brought into focus the alcohol - role in depression/anxiety - OH sees it and i tried the 'just have a few' - useless- still feel shit after 'a few' and it's a monumental effort to keep it at a few - what is 'a few' tends to become blurry as well.
I wrote in my diary if it wasn't alcohol but a food that had the same effects - without all of cultural values put on alcohol here (especially in UK - drinking culture is the norm) - i would without doubt stop it - or if a friend told me of same issues i have had with alcohol - i would first of all advise her to cut down - if that didn't work(which it clearly doesn't for me) I'd suggest she give up.
I think with idea of forever/long term af there is a bit of me too scared to admit defeat/that i am out of control - well maybe i don't have to(as that seems to be a trigger for me drinking!) - i just have to stop drinking.
Worst that will happen if i could control it and don't drink is i miss out a few drinks in my life - worst that will happen if i carry on and can't control it is life will become truly awful - and i may be permanently physically/mentally/emotionally damaged/not able to stop.
Sandwich post - or a coffee and biscuit/cookie??:H
I need to catch up on threads to see what has been going on - hope you all surviving hurricanes/earthquakes/heat waves/floods
I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
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