September Sanctuary

[Rusty]

September Sanctuary

Good Monday Morning and Labor Day, Everyone!

SD-so sorry about what happened with your sister after indulging...:l I am so very lucky that mostly everyone in my family drinks but no one goes overboard and makes a fool of themselves. I am so glad that you have embraced your AF life and can just sit back and say to yourself, "Better you than me." I know when my drinking spun out of control, I thought to myself, "I am just fine." If someone had told me that the effects of my over-imbibing had been noticeable, I know I would have been shocked, and maybe even offended..Our family gathering yesterday was an absolute blast and there were 11 of us....lots of lively conversation. Regarding relationships, I I agree with you wholeheartedly, I want that closeness, and companionship, and to have someone to share my thoughts and feelings with but to have to start all over scares me and quite frankly, I'm not sure ends up being worth it. I think at this point in ones life being able to trust again becomes a huge factor in being able to maintain a healthy, happy relationshipI am a lot older than you are (OMG, I sound like a blue-haired old bag:H), but if I meet the right person someday, then I would have have to deal with kids, grandkids, etc., and their issues....and frankly, I want to be #1 in someone's life...not #2,3, or 4...after the kids, etc., and I feel like I am #1 in my family's life and I'm not giving that up for the world. I've dated a lot (Geez, now I sound like a tramp!:H) and I just don't want to go to yahoo personals and "look" for someone. It's not a priority in my life.

Star-I just love hearing about special days with your husband and family....it's great that your friend and your husband get along so well. Yes, I love Fall and am grateful I live in a state where the seasons change.

Chill-interesting that you brought up Ken's wanting to have a "nightcap." You know who used that word just recently? My boring self-centered client. It's odd....that when he was with me, he would have 1 or 2 beers when we would go out to dinner (his request, NOT mine)....but then he'd always say when we got back to the hotel..."I think I'll go to the bar and have a nightcap." Hmmm....his eyes are always bloodshot,,,,Yes, I agree....the prolonged dinners would get long for you, I'm sure.

Lav-I'm glad you got to see Lily, and I hope the rain does not deter you from having a peaceful holiday.

Dew-how are you feeling? I read your post to Accountable For Me on the Daily Thread...and it was so kind of you to reach out to her since she is battling breast cancer now, too.:l I bet you feel out of place because your friends are big drinkers. I would feel the same way....but gosh, can't people get a buzz through meaningful conversation instead of AL?

A big hello to Rustop, and a shoutout to LBH, Shelley, Cyntree and a big welcome to Startingover and Rochan!

Well, I have lots of business work to do before I go to my closest friends' home for dinner. Have a wonderful AF Monday!

[rustop59]

September Sanctuary

Hi everyone

Just a quick check in from me. Have had a hectic few days and more ahead. My daughter moved out yesterday (lots of drama), very mixed emotions. Saw her again today as I had to pick her up as she was going to another Debs for the boys school down the road from her school. I will have another 6 a.m. pick up tomorrow and I think I am coming down with a cold.

Big hello to one and all and welcome to the newcomers. Have not time to mention you all individually but am thinking of you all.

Rustop

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary

Happy Monday Guys

sdlovespackers;1173632 wrote: They don't realize what it looks like from a totally sober person's perspective...purple teeth, slurring, talking that gets louder and louder, high pitched laughing....oh well....but to them "they were fine".

SD what a wonderful description and I echo everyones else, these things just dont happen when there is no AL involved. Im so happy you are standing back and seeing it how it is at this stage in your sobriety. For me each and every little incident like this reinforced my determination never to be one of them again.

On the relationship front, I really thought I wanted all the things you mentioned and I could have had them all this time but I realized that actually a lot of these boxes already get ticked by my family and friends. Even though I have very few friends here, with skype, email and facebook Im in regular contact with my close friends wherever they are. I also have you guys and being able to off load from the heart on a daily basis is a huge part of my life and I believe my strength. My Sister recently said the same to me about missing having someone to bouce things off and I reminded her she never listened to a word of advice her ex ever gave her anyway! :H

Star - I remembered your day of being approached by strangers! Isnt it wonderful that our good energy can reach out like that. I dont think it would make a difference right now meeting someone who was AF, it wasnt a big issue with Ken, just every now and again. I just felt so claustrophobic that I was screaming inside to be free. I love the relationship you describe between you, your special friend and your husband. These are to be cherished and its wonderful to hear you are appreciating what you have in your marriage.

Rusty - Your family sound like the Waltons and your day together sounds devine! As for being no.1 in someones life I agree and this thought has crossed my mind too as I get older. Although the older I get the nearer their children were to my age. :H

Rustop - I hope your taxi madness ends soon, you really need to start taking time for YOU.

I was up and at the gym before work this morning and Im feeling the effects tonight, my plan is for no chores. Some meditation, a little TV then to bed early with my book. Im finally reading A Million Little Pieces.

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary

Hello to Rusty, rustop & chill!

Does anyone know where papmom is??

Pouring rain here this evening & supposed to continue for a day or two

Decided I needed to make the 90 mile roundtrip to the cemetary....today is 25 years since my Mom passed. Glad I went though & glad I got back before the rain moved in.
YB invited himself to dinner even though I told him I wasn't cooking today so he got leftover meatballs in a sandwich :H
I took the opportunity to dump some of my concerns regarding family, etc in his lap. I didn't take care of him all these years to have to suffer this BS alone........ One thing I need to address is my sick dog (Girl Dog). I will be calling the Vet tomorrow, I think the time has come to end her suffering. I can't do anymore for her than I already have So YB promised to help with that & a few other important things concerning the kids. He is perfectly capable of pitching in to help when I pull his head out of his A$$.

I really, really need some decent sleep - hope I get some tonight! Hope everyone does

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary

Good morning

Lav - Lovely that you made that trip to your Mom, I hope you got some comfort from it. Meatballs in a sandwich is better than handing him a takeout menu, hope he was grateful :H I'm so sorry to hear about your dog Lav, is she old? Hope you got a decent sleep.

I sent Papmom a message and she is ok although in need of some sanctuary and hugs. I hope she will be back here soon.

I'm also getting nervous about going to Portugal next week, I bluffed so much with my ex telling him my (non existent) Lawyer needs financial info from all his banks where I'm joint debtor. I have asked for account nos. as said I'd be visiting the banks to find out the exact situations. I was hoping he'd come up with a proposal instead so I didn't actually have to visit the banks! *gulp*. I also have a hugely busy schedule over there seeing lots of friends and that is in itself a bit daunting for me. McNotSo has very kindly given me one of his apartments to stay in for free which is wonderful. He did want me to stay with him but that was a definite :no:

I have a storm raging outside and I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to get out there and walk Elle without being blown away!

[rustop59]

September Sanctuary

Good morning everyone

Chill - I think we have some of your storm. What a night. I ended up doing pick up at 4 a.m. not 6. They can thank the goldie who woke me to go out at 3.30 that I saw the text. They probably would have rung me though. Best of luck with Portugal. I am sure it will all work out ok, look how much you have overcome in the last year. Thanks for letting us know about Papmom - big hugs Pap if you are reading.

Lav - so sorry about your dog. It's a hard decision to make. Glad you are handing over some of this to YB, rightly so.

Star - you sound good these days, its nice to read.

Everyone else big hello.

Rustop

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary

Good morning all!

Is it stormy all over the world today? It rained here all night & is supposed to resume soon

Hi to papmom ~ hope you are chakra clearing

Rustop - You are so giving to your kids, I really hope the appreciate you :|

I'll be back later, today is likely to be a rough one.

Lav

[Stargazerlily]

September Sanctuary

Good morning all...

It sure it hard to get back to work after a long weekend!

Papmom, where are you? Hope things are OK.

Lav, sending you positive energy and fall weather.

It's a short week. Enjoy.

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary

Hi Rustop, Lav and Star

Lav - Im sending you loving energy to get through your day.

I was listening to Louise Hay last night who refuses to use any negative language and for example would say "please remember to..." instead of "dont forget to...." I also do this as much as possible but Im going to make a conscious effort to do it more.

I had a minor set back today (not a problem!) My ex is refusing to give me the bank info I have told him my ficticious Lawyer requires. He asked for the Lawyers no. as he is happy to call him! *yikes!* Anyway Im not giving up yet, time for round two I will let you know the next response.

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary

Can't get Girl Dog in until tomorrow afternoon so I'll spend the next 24 hrs caring for my friend to the best of my ability.

Hello to Star, hope you enjoy this short week!

Chill, I hope you can get all that squared away soon

My grandsons will be arriving shortly & I will be watching them until about 8:30 or so tonight.
Praying for lots of energy right now

[sdlovespackers]

September Sanctuary

Hey all!!
A VERY late check in for me tonight!!

Lav--I'm glad you took the trip to visit your mom yesterday...I bet it was a peaceful visit, and probably came at a good time. I'm very sorry to hear about your dog, that is always such a hard thing to have to go through. Animals become such a part of the family (even if I hate to admit that with my own...I kinda like the furry monster)! Try to just take it easy if you can tomorrow...we're here for you!!:l

Chill--Those darn sneaky men...you'll come up with Plan B or C or whatever it takes. I would think at some point he'd want to move forward as well...or maybe not...if he's like my ex, you'd have to light a fire under his a$$ to get him to make the first move on anything...and then keeping him focused is another battle in itself!!:H You can do it girl!!

Star--reading about you and your husband is what I always dreamed it would be like to be married...that's wonderful!!! You[re a lucky lady...as is your husband!!! I think it's really cool how you both seem to appreciate each other so much as well!! I think so many couples after awhile take each other for granted or don't appreciate the other person the way they should.

Rustop--I sure hope you can catch up on some much needed rest!! Geez! I'd be EXHAUSTED!! (and grumpy..heehee!!)

Rusty--this is kinda going back to the family thing...and you being number one in your family, which is awesome. Sometimes I'm not sure exactly where I fit in in my family...I think I'm kinda the black sheep. ANyway...on Monday my mom and I ran to Walmart and on the way there she says in kind of a weird, awkward way...I had a dream about you last night. I said ok, what was it? She says..I dreamed that you and your sisters came into our house and you flung open the door and said we're going to the lake and were feeling wild and crazy and were going to take a roadie with you and you don't care because you feel like being wild and crazy! Then she said the dogs woke her up so she doesn't know what happened. I asked her why she thought she would dream something like that (since even when I did drink I never drank and drove)...that's my sister and her husband? She said she wasn't sure. I said maybe you are waiting for me to fail or announce again I'm going to start drinking? She said I don't know? Later when we got to Walmart we sat in the parking lot and I told her all the reasons I don't drink, and why I won't drink again...and that I don't judge her or anyone else for drinking but I've made up my mind and I'm not changing it...I'm done with AL. She drank water that night for dinner...but the rest of the day/evening was very awkward between us...I'm not sure why....I'm also not sure why I just unloaded all of this onto you...I guess I'm just having a hard time with these changes...and I really don't think my counselor "gets it"...you know?? Did your family treat you any different after you stopped drinking??

Oh gosh, once again I wrote a novel and now it's midnight...ugh....ok, I need to get to sleep but will write to everyone tomorrow!! Happy Wednesday to you all!!

PAP3--:l:l MISS YOU!!

SD

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary

Good morning my friends

Lav - that extra time with girl dog was meant to be, I will be thinking of you today and hope YB is there for support.

SD! Wow! I love your novels, keep em coming. Im not sure what's going on with your Mom but boy am I proud of you! You sound so strong and determined and it's wonderful. The dream must of been one of these very real and vivid ones for your Mom and I guess it affected her thinking you would fall off the wagon again.

I can only speak from my own experience but yes friends and family were definitely awkward around me when I 1st quit. To be fair to them it must have been a big shock :H I was always the party girl and the one opening the next bottle! They had to get to know this "new girl". I was also very awkward as I didn't know who I was any more, didn't know how to behave sober. I'd forgotten all of that SD and it takes time. The good news is now I'm totally comfortable in my new skin so everyone else is comfortable too. I think it's great you managed to off load to your Mom, these conversations are never easy and at least you have opened the door for her to communicate back to you when she feels she can.

Still very stormy here and in these darker mornings I'm finding it hard to get up at my usual early time. Off to seize the day.......

[Stargazerlily]

September Sanctuary

Good morning, it is very chilly here, in the 40s and I am not used to it.

Lav, not too long ago I also made a journey to my mother's grave, said a prayer, and mourned my loss all over again. It made me sad for a couple of days afterwards but it was something I needed to do, and need to do from time to time. We never really get over our losses, but somehow learn to live with them. My life is so changed and different with the loss of my mother, who was my best friend for years. I know some with say that is not healthy, and I say I don't care. The next best thing is to have a close relationship with your daughter, and you do. I know you are dreading her move, and the hardest thing is life is change. Luckily long distance relationships are easier with technology.

Chill, whew, the stress of the splitting up process. I am sending you wisdom and strength, plus skill at bluffing, although you seem good at it. I also am having a hard time with the growing darkness and now the cold. It will be fun to visit Portugal and get a little sunshine.

SD, you are so courageous and told your mother your truth, just what she needed to hear. Your were honest and sincere, and now have a chance for a new and improved relationship. I am sure your mother is proud of you, your strength and determination.

I hope I am closing on my house today, then busy at work. I am trying to eat healthier after a disgusting but delicious weekend. To all, a great Wednesday,

[rustop59]

September Sanctuary

Good morning everyone

Happy Hump Day. We miss our bus driver, come back Sooty if you are reading this :h

Lav - big hugs to you today. I am sure you will miss your girl. I too visited my parents grave about 2 weeks ago when I went west for that birthday party. It's always with us. I really felt it the day my daughter got her exam results, I wish I could have shared that with my Mom.

Chill - I am sure you will have a lovely time in Portugal and good luck with the bluffing.

Star - Closing on your house? Are you moving, I might have missed something along the way.

SD - You sound so strong these days, keep it up. Your Mom and other people who are still drinking probably feel uncomfortable about their own drinking around you but well done on being so open.

I will be missing for a few days. I am going to a wedding tomorrow and then flying to Spain Friday morning to another wedding.

Have a great week-end everyone.

Rustop

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary

Good morning everyone!

Another dark & gloomy morning here, still raining, ugh!
Looking for the strength to get through this sad day. Thanks for all the well wishes!

Wishing a wonderful AF day for all of us

Lav