September Sanctuary

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary

Good morning from Chillworld, it's grey wet and miserable here and my mood is a bit similar.

Papmom - I'm so glad teaching your 1st class was fun, I knew it would be because of the enthusiasm you went into it with. I'm praying for you to get the other job especially as you liked the Director. Don't waste your precious moments worrying about things that haven't happened, all you do if a terror stike happened is whatever you can do best at the time. I get annoyed at how the media whip the public into a state of fear.

Lav - I hope Curves set some endorphin free! I havent exercised since Monday and I'm going shortly to my spin class, that should chase away my blues.

Star - you remind me that I have been eating badly this week, too much sugar and I'm sure that effects my moods, when will I learn?

You are spot on about my ex. I suspect he doesn't have much money but I had hoped he would sympathize with my dilemma too. I can't continue next year to pay my rent, all I want in the world is enough for a deposit on a home and I can do the rest. It's a great time to buy with prices never being so low and I'm in the perfect business to find a bargain. All I can do is appeal to his better nature and hope for the best. I'm determined to stay calm in our discussions but I have hoped for this before and ended up ranting and crying at him, let's hope I have grown since then.

As an observation it's interesting how in the last 48 hours I have allowed little niggling thoughts to affect how I feel. Nothing in my world has actually changed accept the way I'm choosing to see it. Recognizing this is the 1st step to dealing with it. I'm NOT going to allow it to drag me down. Less sugar and more meditation is required

Have a great Saturday guys, I will be back later.....

[Stargazerlily]

September Sanctuary

there is no reality, only perception. I think that is a Dr. Philism. There is some truth to it, our reality IS our perception of the world. I liked Chill's mindfulness, realizing that nothing had really changed except her thinking. Thanks Chill for helping me to realize that I do that too. ( Project horrible future events that will probably never happen.)

I am not even thinking about terror attacks for 9/11, I have never been one to focus on that, probably because I live away from any major city. I do remember the panic we felt on 9/11, not knowing what was going to happen.

Rainy and foggy today, and I AM going to exercise class today, I called my buddy and she is going too so I can't let her down. There, I put pressure on myself, and I really need to.

I have bills to pay, letters to write(challenging the assessment on my home, again) books to read and we are meeting friends at a casino, how about that? I do not gamble, it is so illogical, but it will be fun to have dinner and look around. Oh, I also need to clean up a messy room, yuck, maybe I'll do it during the Bears game tomorrow. See, it always comes back to football.

Have a great day.

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary

Good morning all!

I do have stronger feelings about Sept 11 that most people for a few reasons.
I had to throw myself in front of the door (YB did too) to prevent our son from heading to NYC in the aftermath of the terror attacks. He was 20 years old, a college student, volunteer fire fighter & fearless. I just wasn't ready to let him go to witness all that & expose himself to the toxic air. He found other ways to help out though & I'm still grateful for that. He is on duty today for his 24 hr shift in DC & told me yesterday that he fully expects to be held OT tomorrow. It's likely the entire DC fire dept will be on duty tomorrow.

Woke up to cloudy skies again but I think the sun is trying to peak thru

papmom, glad you enjoyed your teaching experience

chill, trying to extract sympathy or empathy from my husband is a backbreaking job.......hope you are successful in your attempt!

Star, I live not too far from Atlantic City & all the casinos but I don't gamble either. It's easier for me just to stay home & flush money down the toilet as I have zero luck :H
I actually have had friends go there to 'raise money' to buy new clothes & shoes for their kids at the beginning of each school year

Well, I need to clean some house as well today.
Wishing everyone a good & productive AF Saturday!

Lav

[papmom3]

September Sanctuary

My oldest boy Mickey has just taken up Marking in a couple of spots in the house after 9 years of being the perfect dog so he is now joining the "Belly Band Brigade". Yes, he will be seeing the Vet to rule out anything physical in a few weeks. So I sat down at my sewing machine and made him an experimental band. It has a strip of the bed pad my friend gave me sewn inside and I'm hoping that will be all he needs (instead of also attaching a disposable pad to it) and I also experimented with some different stitches that are available on my machine. The material is purple butterflys on a white background. He's always looked so regal in purple!! I could sit all day sewing band after band for the boys but I must do something productive and not waste this gorgeous day. Plus sis's party is at 3. Hmm, clean kitchen or mow lawn?????

[papmom3]

September Sanctuary

Kitchen won!!

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary

Afternoon Guys

The exercise helped my blues and so did cleaning the apartment from top to bottom, (I always like to come home to a spotless house after being away). I also had a long talk on skype to my best friend in Portugal and it has made me so excited about seeing her.

I will expect nothing from my ex and then anything he agrees to will be a bonus.
I have rent money for another 6 months and who knows what can happen in that space of time! One thing for sure is that wasting my energy now worrying about it wont change the outcome. I might have won the lottery by then and be lying in a hammock in the Carribean.

Papmon - Im a little confused as to what "belly bands" are, are they some sort of diapers? Photos please.....

I have been none stop all day and looking forward now to a relaxed night in watching X Factor. There was a girl on last week from Scotland who sang so beautifully it made me cry. She comes from a very poor area with little prospects, I so love how these people get the chance to change their lives! Dinner is sushi followed by rhubarb crumble and cream..... ah the decadance, well it is Saturday!

[sdlovespackers]

September Sanctuary

Afternoon All!

Quick check in...I'll have to catch up later tonight or tomorrow (sorry)!!

I've been in a grumpy mood now for 2+ days and just can't kick it!! Not sure if it has to do with my son being so naughty lately and driving me insane (which then I feel like a horrible mother because I'm yellin at him) or if it's just this time of the month that money is SO tight and my ex NEVER pays his child support on time so I freak out knowing my bills are due, I have no money, send the checks anyway....don't buy groceries...constantly check the online banking to make sure I haven't overdrawn....I shouldn't have to "remind" him to pay me each month...he gets later and later each month!!! It's driving me crazy....I think I'm going to call DSS and ask that they start taking the money from his check on the 1st and send it to me...I said I wouldn't do that to him, "I'd trust him to get it to me by the 7th"....but it's still not here AGAIN!!!!

The thing with my son...ugh!!! We go to the doctor (3 hours away) we don't have a child psychiatrist on this town...in 2 weeks...SUPER long story...but I'm POSITIVE his meds (he's ADHD and ODD) aren't working like they should anymore....that and I NEVER get a break...he's completely wearing me out. My mom and I got into a "fight" about it yesterday. She just doesn't get it...AT ALL!!! Just makes me feel like sh*t, like I don't know how to be a good mother....:upset:

I'm sorry I feel like lately I've been locking myself in my room and getting on here and venting, just to have a few minutes of quiet to myself...pretty inconsiderate of me...I know you all have so much going on in your lives as well. I apologize....perhaps I should invest in a journal. I need to go make my son lunch...then have a surprise birthday party for a coworker later...I'll hop on later this evening and catch up with everyone. I hope everyone is having a fantastic Saturday!!

Positive note--very nice and sunny here...very rare do I ever say that about SD!
SD

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary

Phew SD you have a lot on your plate so please ditch the journal idea and stick with us, that's what we are all here for, to support one another :l

What is so awe inspiring about your post is that in the midst of all the anxiety with your son, your late child support, juggling bills and fighting with your Mum you didn't once mention alcohol. I'm hoping this is because, even though it's your turn for the dark side of the moon this week, you didn't consider it or if you did you instantly knew it wasnt a good idea.

Please vent, SHOUT and rant as much as you want, I truly believe we are our own best therapists and we can't cure it if it's locked up inside us. You are one strong lady and are doing a great job.

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary

SD,
I have raised a son with ADHD! I know what you are going through :l
I also did it without meds......I had very strong feelings about that.

How old is your son? The reason I ask is because what really, really helped him was getting him in to work with an educational psychologist running a business called College Bound. My son was in junior high at the time 7th, 8th and even into 9th grade.
It cost a small fortune but I figured it was either that or save the money to pay for future bail for the kid. My biggest fear was him turning into a little criminal Here's the link, maybe you could think about something similar for your son. They worked a miracle boosting his self-confidence after years of being treated like an idiot in school by teachers who just did understand him. You wouldn't believe some of the comments I got from his elementary school teachers

Sam Alfonsi's College Bound - SAT Tutoring Broomall, PA

We also got him very involved in scouting which he really enjoyed & earned his Eagle Award. He became a volunteer firefigther at age 17, graduated from Penn State then went right into the DC Fire Academy. In other words he is a completely functional adult with a beautiful family now. The school psychologist labeled him as WEIRD when he was in Kindergarten.

Chill, I hope you really enjoy your trip & seeing your friends. I am trying real hard not to over worry about money, the future, etc. We just really can't control any of it, can we?

I was just walking my grandson out to his car to go home when he pointed & said 'Look at the moon Mi Mom'. Sure enough there is a near full moon shining down on us.
I'm sure that's why a lot of us are feeling out of sorts.......right???

Praying for a peaceful day tomorrow so we can remember the lives lost on 9/11.

Lav

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary

Good Morning Guys

See what I mean about the support and knowledge found on MWO! How wonderful Lav that you have 1st hand experience to share with SD.

Lav - I've been playing in my head how I want the meeting to go with my ex, if he tells me there is nothing, nada, zilch to be salvaged I want to stand up, smile and walk away with total acceptance of that. However the reality could play out slightly differently :H wouldn't it be good if our emotions had an temporary pause switch. Yes the full moon is tomorrow and I'm sure it's been playing with our moods.

I had been letting this meeting cloud my whole trip and was even starting to dread going. Luckily I have corrected that faulty thinking, I'm going for lots of time with wonderful friends, I intend to borrow a bike and cycle every day, get plenty sun and fresh air and eat way too much. This will be my 1st proper holiday in years.

Strangely enough the very last holiday I ever had in Portugal before moving there was in Septemeber 2001. We were finalizing the sale of our UK business and Oliver spent most of the time on the phone. I had just stepped onto the beach when I received a text message from a friend telling me a plane had hit one of the towers and was I near a TV set. These events played a big part in our decision to move there and by the end of the following week we had found a house.

Im off to my spin class now then to meet my Sisters.....

Wanted to share this great quote I received today from the Chopra Centre:-
"The greatest contribution we can make to the wellbeing of those in our lives
is to have peace in our own hearts.? ~David Simon

Wishing you all a very peaceful Sunday.

Chill

[Dewdrop]

September Sanctuary

I?m logging on this morning because I feel like drowning my sorrows in a bottle or two of wine - yes at this time of the morning.

My little grandson died early this morning and to say we are all devastated is an understatement. I got the call from my son at 2am so we have been at the hospital all night and have only now come home (to my house) and my son and DIL are downstairs trying to get some sleep but I can hear them both sobbing and talking. I?m not sure what the full story is but his lungs collapsed, he had an infection and it happened very quickly. I?m heartbroken for them both; the hospital staff were very kind and we were able to hold him for the first time, and without all the tubes he looked just like his sister when she was born. It?s just so sad, what an awful night.

I?m feeling very emotional but I need to be strong for them because we have a lot to get through today, I?m sitting here on top of my bed crying my eyes out for a little baby I didn?t know but I guess really for the pain and suffering my son and DIL are clearly going through. I feel a mess, I?ve contacted the family and need to do the practical things for them but it?s so hard.

I?m just so glad I have you guys to let off some steam with.

Dewdrop :h

[mario]

September Sanctuary

Terrible sorry to hear that horrible news dewdrop,Stay strong and as you know drinking wont do anything for you,all the stress & hurt and sorrow will be still there and multiplied worse by alcohol,sending you lots of strength dewdrop to you and your family (posted this in the army thread to)x

__________________

[Dewdrop]

September Sanctuary

Thanks Mario I truly appreciate your thoughts and support - I guess I know drinking wont help but it's a gut reaction.

[Rusty]

September Sanctuary

Dew:upset::h

I have no words for you, dear friend. I am so sorry for your loss. How horrible! I cannot imagine your grief. That little baby will never know his wonderful grandmother. I am crying as I sit here....please stay with us....we care so much about you. As Mario said, if you're crying now....and I know you must be....if you jump into the wine, you will never stop crying. Your son and DIL need you so much right now...if you start drinking, you will be miserable and no help at all to them. I'm saying a prayer for you now...sending you love, strength, and my condolences to you on this very sad day. I'm flying out to Michigan in a little while, but I will check back in later.

Love,

Rusty

[papmom3]

September Sanctuary

(((DEW))). Please know that we are here for you and will hold you up through this very sad time. You can and must get through this without AL. Yes it will numb you for a while but after things will be much worse. Please dig deep and find the strength I know you have to be there for your son and DIL. Send any of us your phone number through a PM if you want to talk in person. We love you Dew. :l :h