Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

[Lavande]

OK, time to get up kids :H

Hot & humid in Lavland today ~ 2-3" of rain on the way for tomorrow & Tuesday, lovely

Guess I'll hang out in the AC & watch Lifetime TV today

Wishing everyone a good AF Sunday!

Lav

[Treya]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

Hi lavande and all to come,
I had a little laugh last night reading the 'feeling like caca' posts.
I was too yesterday was nearly in the real caca-so much so I found it really hard to post at all.
I thought I was heading for relapse last night. My routine has changed this week. In another country with my husband on a working holiday but surrounded by fine wine (as usual) I'm not using that as an excuse. I managed to avoid thinking about booze for a few days after I arrived with no hardship but last night from nowhere I really felt an overhwhelming craving. My husband who has been cutting back his own consumption since I stopped opened a bottle and asked if I wanted one. I said maybe.
I watched the glass in front of me all through dinner and half way through went to the fridge and poured myself some tonic. Eventually I said no thanks.. I don't want it and passed it over to him.
Doggy Girl you say I should expect those out of nowhere times when out of the blue it just seems so hard to say no. Yes you're right -I should but I don't really have any strategies for them-just riding it out ugly. I was flying by the seat of my sober pants last night and God only knows how I escaped. I'd like to think I'd develop some better coping mechanisms than that. Any ideas welcome! ;-))
Meanwhile-have a great AF day everyone,
Gratitude,
Treya

[Kaslo]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

Hi Fabsters, Marshy so sorry to read of the loss of your mom. If you are reading on here, I am thinking of you.

All others, thanks for the kind words re my daughter. Its very hard, because its likely going to restrict my access to my grandkids, but then I always knew that might happen, given her volatile nature. She has so many anger issues, deep seated and she has decided to blame it on me now, on the past, which she has largely invented. I cant do anything about it, and her father has decided to reinvent the past too, which is very sad.

Back out this morning, its lovely here right now. September is such a beautiful month in the mountains.

Kaslo

[ItsJustMe]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

Waz up Dudes!?!?!?

Just zooming in. I'm at my parents house in Tennessee for the past few days so I haven't really had time to post. Also internet connectivity is almost nonexistent here. I'm sending this from my iPhone. Anyway they are moving to south Alabama and going from. 6k sq ft house to a 4k sq foot house so I am up here disassembling and moving a huge pool table to relocate it at my house! This thing has to weigh close to a ton and we moved it from a second story room to the garage yesterday. Got to load it on my truck and trailer today them I'm headed back to Gods country.

Hope everyone is doing well and I'll check in when I get home tonight or tomorrow and catch up on the past few days of posts.

Take care all!

IJM

[Determinator]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

Hidy Ho ABeroooos!

Treya, it frightens me to hear that in your own house someone is pouring you AL drinks. would they poke a candy bar in the face of a diabetic? I just don't get that. thank goodness you resisted.

thanks for the kickstart Lav. IJM, Kaslo and all to come have a super day!

off playing tourguide with family

be well

[Lavande]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

Hey Deter,

Just saw the satellite image of the Burning Man - awesome

[jennyneric]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

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[greeneyes]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

jen, you are a real cuite-pie! that is all.

painting

[momof3]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

Hello All,

Back from a fully successful beach trip. Weather was fantastic, ocean was refreshing, and waves were big!!

Treya, So happy that you resisted the temptation. A major victory for you. Check out the Toolbox thread in the Monthly Abs thread for numerous ways to avoid "white knuckling" it. My number one tool early on was to avoid situations and people who were drinking, especially those who might encourage me to drink.

Marshy, I am sorry to hear about the passing of your mom. It is great that you and your dad were there by her side when she passed into the next realm. I absolutely believe that she knew you were there. Love and hugs to you.

IJM, Thanks for checking in with us.

Jenny, you're back and doing really well. So happy for you.

DG, I start yoga teacher training this weekend...friday night and all day saturday and sunday. I already have lots of homework in the form of reading several books. I love to learn!!

Kas, Sorry about your daughter. Such is the life of addicts...always blaming their situation on someone else. My brother has not spoken to me in 2 years because I would not let him stay with me and visit with my children when he was actively using and volatile. I hope you get to reconnect with your grandchildren soon though.

Hey Lav, Greenie, DG, Det and everyone else.

Where is Oney by the way?

xxoo
M3

[Kaslo]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

Hey everyone. Treya, me too, what Det said. Cant imagine my hub setting a glass of wine in front of me or even asking me. He knows just how crazy hard that would be on me. Even though he didnt really realize at first, when I first quit how bad I actually was addicted to wine, he knows now, because I told him. Use your words, is what my youngest sez.

Jen (you are very sweet looking, if that is you) thanks again re the daughter problem. And all the rest of you that have mentioned it or even thought about it. Like a typical recovering AL I obsess on this problem with my eldest daughter. I spent some time out on the water in my boat thinking it all through, and I have to say its not MY problem, and I cant fix it, although I have spent a lot of my time and money trying. Shes 27 years old. She doesnt even have her grade 12. Ive told her she needs to quit pot and either get back to school or get a job. Possibly both at once.

So LV, I was thinking of you too. Your eldest boy actually sound so NORMAL and GOOD to me compared to my kid. She was in trouble from the age of 12 on. Drugs, booze, boys, no school, fast cars, crappy friends, fights, wrong side of the law, coarse language...you name it. And she had a good childhood. Although I had to work away, we had some really good times. I always took them places, I had good nannies when I was gone, and worked at home and spent a lot of time with her and her sister when they were young. Her step dad, who shes lived with since she was one, was good to her. Although here is what I think the problem was....her biological father only wanted to see her when he felt like it, after she was about 5 or so, and when she came back from spending time with him she was always messed up. First very well spoken, like a little adult (he is a physician and fancies himself a great intellectual), then all hell would break loose. Then she would calm down and be better. She is physically strikingly beautiful, and that has been a problem too. She was like a prize for her bio-dad to trot out in front of his terribly chic, well read, rich doctor friends. Every time she spent with him I dreaded the aftermath. Now she is 27 and has had two failed marriages, no career, no education, on welfare, two little half black kids. Cute and I love em, but they are a handful. The last husband beat her and stole her car, I had to rescue her and bring her and the two babies back to Canada. She met both of these dudes on the net. Yes, the net. So when does she start to take ownership of her life and build it up? My own background was pretty horrendous too, but I made my way, and I am ok. So where is Doctor Dad now, you ask? He was biking in Italy for a month. Now he is back in his 300 K a year job, with his kids from the second marriage in every sport and kid thing they can possibly be put it. From Archery to Zylophone lessons. When I write it out here I can see what the problem is, she fell through some cracks, and rebelled against all of us. But mainly she hits out at me. I have to ask why. Because i didnt stay with the rich guy? (Get real, is what Im sayin. He may be rich but hes a weiner).

Mof3 you are ABSOLUTELY right, the life of the addict, she does blame everyone but herself. She especially blames me, probably because I am an easy target. Doctor Dad would not take that horseshite from her for a second. He may be a weiner but he has some backbone when it comes to taking it from the little blond haridan that is his daughter from his first marraige. Gotta hand to him in that regard. Hats off to Dad.

What her councilors, many and various used to tell me that she resented the divorce. I couldnt feature that because she was ONE when I left, and married the man I have been with for 26 years now. And he is not mean to her. He has been steady, quiet, a little stern but fun too, and kind. I just dont get it. Did Doctor Dad keep trying to make her feel like crap, or did I subconciously single her out, or is it really just her f-ing problem?

Anyway sorry for the rant. You guys are the best. And also, you know what? It really is her problem. I think I just broke through the bullshit on this one, but its taken me many years. Quitting booze helped me get through this actually. Sorry my computer is busted and I only have internet, need to re-install my photo stuff. Pretty chuffed about my day on the water at little Slocan Lake. Will post pix when I can.

Love....and ONE thing is for sure.

Kas

[Lavande]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

Good evening folks!

Ah Kaslo, tough times with your daughter, to say the least!
I really think some kids, regardless of the quality of their childhoods are just going to take the wrong path. You can give them everything, give them little but in the end they have to choose their path. My best friend has a son the same age as your daughter. He's essentially a moron & has just gotten out of prison. The law finally caught up with him for unpaid child support, never finising the ARD program after his DUI, etc, etc, He just barely made it through high school, has no usable skills except driving a tow truck (which he can't do until he gets his license back). He's covered from head to toe in tatoos & yes has a drug problem My friend has basically given up on him although she's still paying off his legal bills. These kids have created their own problems, please don't take it out on yourself ;| It would be nice if her educated, prince of a father would lift a finger to help her.

Hey M3, greenie & jenny (cute pic)

Hope everyone is in relax mode

[Doggygirl]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

Hi fABies!!

Treya, I think part of the learning to live sober is examining situations like the one you had last night, and figuring out what to do differently next time. I know we cannot control other people, but if my husband ever offered me a drink we would be having a serious, serious talk about him not doing that. He is THE one person in my life who I want to fully understand the truth of my situation, which is that I cannot drink safely EVER. Him supporting me in the journey MUST include him never enabling me to drink in any way. I will accept nothing different. I know we all have to decide what our relationship will be with our spouses / family / significant others regarding AL. My husband drinks beer after dog training with his friends, but he doesn't drink with me and doesn't offer me drinks. I like it that way. Be careful not to leave the door open for AL by having your understanding with DH be wishy washy. AL is a sneaky one.

Here is what's in my toolbox for urges:

1. Read/post here
2. Call a friend in AA
3. Call my AA sponsor
4. Pray
5. Get my a$$ to a meeting.

I've lost my urge LONG before I get to the bottom of that list LOL!!! That doesn't need to be everyone's stragegy, but we all need to have a strategy I think.

Kaz, as sad as things sound with your daughter, I really do think she is going to have to sort this one out for herself. It doesn't really matter how or why we end up where we do. We all just have to learn to deal with or lives. She will have to learn to deal with hers too. I hope she finds recovery. It's out there for those of us who seek it.

Lav, I LOVE a good lazy Sunday with the LIfetime Movie Channel!!! Mr. Doggy calls it the "Bad to Worse Channel" :H Hope the movies were amazingly bad to worse today!

Jenny, you are BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

Travel safe IJM!!

Det - when doesn Dx get home?

Greenie - how is your mojo? All back in good working order?

M3 - you sound very excited about yoga teacher school!!! :yougo:

Well, had quite an adventure today trying to complete one of my homework assignments for Dual Diagnosis class. We are all supposed to go to a Dual Recovery Anonymous meeting, which I had never heard of before. The web site only lists a handful of meetings in the Chicago area, and the nearest one to me 45 minutes away. Even though I called to confirm, we had a miscommunication and I got there - no DRA meeting. But ended up attending a really good AA meeting, and was introduced to a woman who is in recovery with a dual diagnosis who spent two hours talking with me about her journey. Priceless! I'm not sure how the teacher will view my report - he might say I didn't meet the criteria. But this time, I don't care one way or the other about the grade. I learned something.

One thing is for sure...

DG

[greeneyes]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

Wow, will this bathroom project EVER be finished? Did I mention dropping a fesh gallon of paint upside down in the garage and it opened on impact? No? Well, nevermind. There are other better stories. Kidding. sort of.

Kaz, gosh you know you just do the best you can. In my humble and kidless opinion, at the end of the day, it's her life and it's her job to do something with it. Or not. Have you taken a look at Sheri's thread on detachment? It's exerpts from a book by Karen Casey. Excellent read. Here's the link. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...ent-45812.html

Marshy love filled hugs for you.... I'm terribly sorry; loosing a parent can be so painful. I'm so glad you could be there because I too am certain she knew you were there.

Hi everyone else. I hate to short ya, but I have to prop myself up in the shower and fall into bed.

[Determinator]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

saw the live video feed of the 'Temple of transitions' burn tonight at Burning Man 2011. it was one of the most beautiful and serene things I've ever witnessed. amazing. and it made me miss my sweetie even more, but to see 8 months of work ending in such a magnificent way was very heart-warming.

DoggyGirl (wonderful post BTW) Dx gets home this Thursday. I can hardly wait.

this is the longest we've been separated since we've been married and the most difficult strain on my sobriety, but between my toolbox, willpower, and all my lovely friends here I'm feeling good and strong in my AFness. thank you each and every one. xxxxxx

zzzzz

[jennyneric]

Sunday AF Daily ~ Sept 4

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