Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

[retteacher]

Firstly, Rochan, my sponsor too has lung cancer. She too is going to fight, & maybe it's for the best that she doesn't quite know what's on the road ahead. On Saturday night, she spoke about the support she has of the tools of AA & the fellowship of AA. You're absolutely right that drinking doesn't help anything.

Last night I went to a step meeting I had never attended. It's a strict meeting that follows the steps as they are laid out in the BB. The only people who are allowed to share are those who have done the steps w/a sponsor from the group & are continually doing steps 10, 11, & 12. When they share, it's about the step...absolutely no war stories.

I have friends who feel that meeting is cultish & extreme. My mind is open to it, though I know I'm not ready to go through the steps that way. It's an, at least, 2 year committment to writing. However, there's something that appeals to me about having a strict & staunch guide & really finding out about myself. I'm going through the steps w/the sponsor I have. She's pretty laissez faire especially now that she's going through a health crisis.

I'm still in early sobriety in comparison to many people in AA. I'll know when the time is right for me to enter into the steps as they are laid out in the BB. I'll know when I need to up my program by getting the kind of sponsor that takes me through rigidly & thoroughly. Right now, I'm happy w/what I'm doing.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

Mary, I go to a Big Book meeting similar in that structure. Someone reads a page and then we go through it line by line with a workbook. We get through about two pages during the meeting. No war stories, just brief discussion about the one or two lines as read.

It's a good break from discussion meetings. Like most things AA, I can find what I need when I need it.

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

Hello all and thanks to you Mary for starting the thread. sorry to hear about your sponsor but I know that you and all her AA buddies will be there for her. AA people are amazing like that.

I've had an incredibly busy week but on friday I did step 3 - I explained to my sponsor what it meant to me re my default personality disorder being my 'will' and the HP as the awareness and consciousness that appears to help me act effectively and do the right thing rather than run on default mode. My sponsor was really happy for me that I had found a way of relating that really meant something to me.

Then we looked at the prayer in the BB and I didn't want to read it. But I looked again and decided I could read it by leaving the first word out - the G-word. That's what I do whenever I say the serenity prayer - I leave the first word out and leave it as a kinda open appeal. So I read it out load in that way and that worked for me. Then we went to a meeting together to get my 8-month chip. It was really funny as my sponsor started clapping when they said 8 months before I had even stood up Haha she's really sweet.

Hope everyone's having a good Monday and on with step 4 for me...

K x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

Kimberly: What a lovely post. Congratulations on receiving your chip. It seems like you're finding your way around the spiritual aspect. BTW, I'm not solidly sure of anything...I act "as if" a lot. M

[pingu1997]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

I wish I had the guts to try AA again, but the first experience left me feeling awful

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

Pingu: I went to AA, because I had to. I tried & tried to get sober on my own...to no avail. I didn't want to go, & when I finally did go, I didn't feel I fit in very well. The members all seemed young & male & newly sober. Occasionally someone would show up at a meeting obviously drunk. I can't count the number of times I said: "What the heck am I doing here?" I hit a low & obvious bottom (taken to the ER overdosed on alcohol). I felt I had to give it a chance. I went to many different meetings & found the ones I felt comfortable at. I found friends my age & gender, but I also found that regardless of what a person's age or circumstances, there was always something to identify with.

Now, for me, it truly is a fellowship. I have friends in & out of AA. I didn't have to give up my old normal drinking friends. I do go to 4 meetings @ week on average.

If you think you can get something out of AA, try different meetings. You can sit in the back by the door at our meetings & pass on speaking. Nobody pressures. In the beginning, that's just what I did. I sat by the door & left after the closing prayer. I didn't share for months & months.

Good luck.

Mary

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

Corinne,

I went to about 4 meetings during my drinking and I remember thinking after the last one I'd never go to AA again - I was convinced a group of girls had snubbed me. This made me totally disregard the fact that the greeter spent an hour talking with me instead of going into the meeting. Haha. I thought AA was snobby and didn't go back for several years. I'm so glad I finally did! It has been the only thing to not only keep me sober but to provide me with the comfort that alcohol once gave me.

Do you know what I think about any time I am scared to do anything - I think of how scary it was to go back to AA when I did it properly and in earnest and think 'well it won't be as scary as that'. Haha! Yes it was terrifying. But by stretching my comfort zone I have benefited so much and can do more and more stuff that used to be outside my comfort zone. often the hardest things are worth the most.

K x
ps if you happen to be anywhere near London I'll happily go to a meeting with ya

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

Kimberly: I've been making a conscious effort to go out of my comfort zone since joining AA. I've done all sorts of activities that I NEVER would have tried had I been drinking:
-asking people to my home.
-kayaking.
-speaking in front of a large AA group.
-etc.

This has been satisfying, enlightening, & challenging. Overcoming my fears brings me closer to a fear-free life. To me, if I'm not dogged by fear, I'll have the serenity & peace I craved when i was drinking.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

Hi friends!

Corrine, I swore I would NEVER go to AA EVER. NEVEREVER. But here I am and getting the same benefits that Mary and Kimberly described.

I'm sad that you had a bad experience. Sometimes that can be a matter of perception as the others pointed out. Sometimes it can be very real. One important thing to remember is that AA has millions and millions of members world wide. That means millions and millions of very diverse, 100% imperfect people.

I remember one of my early AA meetings. I had only been going for a few weeks or so - but it was my 9 month sober anniverary. When I said that, a lady sitting in front of me who knew I was new to AA said something under her breath like "YOU'RE not an alcholic! What are you doing here?!!" That really sent me reeling as *I* knew how badly I wanted to commit suicide, among other things before finding recovery.

I had to really think about that because it upset me a great deal, and really pissed me off. And it was before I had a chance to really make friends in AA. I decided I wasn't going to let one off hand remark by one imperfect person to another imperfect person (me) keep me out of the rooms. I definitely made the right decision for me going back and becoming a part of the fellowship.

Like Mary mentioned, I've tried a lot of different meetings to find the ones I like the best. And if you are anywhere near Chicago, let me know and I extend the same offer as Kimberly!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

At last night's speaker meeting, both speakers said that didn't really know if they were alcoholics. One who is about my age (66) stopped drinking when he was 31. All through the years he was abstinent, he lost jobs, marriages, friends, etc., because he was a dry drunk. After 27 years of dry drunkenness, he came to AA & learned how to live. The second speaker didn't drink all that much, but he was full of anger & shame when he did. He's been sober now for about a year. Neither speaker got into "trouble" w/drinking (neither did I)...no DUI's, homelessness, etc. I try to remember the 3rd tradition. The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking. Anyhow, I realize that people, myself included, come into AA when the time is right for them. I had to hit bottom & realize that I absolutely, positively couldn't stop drinking alone. m

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

Kimberly - I am so glad you have shared your experience, strengtha and hope with respect to Step 3. One of the reasons I thought "AA was not for me" before I went was "that higher power religious business." (well, and the abstinence part bugged me too LOL!) But the last thing I wanted was anyone preaching at me. Many of the people I attend AA with are pretty mainstream Christian. But many are not. And I always love hearing the ways that people outside of mainstream Christianity approach Step 3. It solidifies for me that it truly is about spirituality and not religion, and also I learn about new ways I might be able to connect more fully with my own spiritual side. So thank you!!!!! And congratulations on a step well taken.

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

Mary - I love hearing speakers. The many walks of life we come from just amaze me. But we all have one thing in common - we can't drink safely.

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

Greetings all, the tools I have learned in AA saved my job this past week. Well, that's my opinion anyway. If i had reacted to the situation in my old self, I would have walked out screaming and cussing all the way. How mature is that?
For those of you that have had a bad experience with AA, keep trying. Like DG, I was not going to go to AA, no matter what. Well, here I am, at least 4 meetings per week. Hope it works for you as well.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

Yay Phil! You are the bomb! M

[pingu1997]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 5 - Sept. 11

I'd love to try it again and I do accept that it is weird at first and also one meeting might not work for you, the issue I have is that there are not many daytime meetings around my area (reading, berkshire) and I find it difficult to go in the evenings because I teach and I Have 2 kids and an OH who works late sometimes. I couldn't commit to the same day every week and that seems a bit pointless if you are trying to build relationships.
Also the spiritual thing scares me. I have a very bad view of all things religious despite trying very hard to find whatever it is for most of my life.
I guess at the meeting I felt unwelcome, out of it, in the wrong place. And yet I know someone who goes to a local meeting every week and he's an awesome person and it has helped him immensely
Maybe I need to bite the bullet and give another meeting a go and accept that it is going to feel weird and that maybe no-one will talk to me and I might leave feeling like I need a pint LOL
Thank you all for your comments
I am having a what now? few weeks which is why the idea of AA has come up again, for support for maintaining this new sober life...

Much love
Corinne