Another awesome sober day for the books!
It seems like every day I get a little bit stronger and my resolve not to drink gets a little bit more profound. Just a little bit each day though ? not noticeable comparing each day by itself. But the days sort of adds up and where I am today is much further along than where I was two months ago. Here is my duh moment. When I was drinking?. Each day did not seem to make that much difference. But every day I became a little bit more addicted. ? just a little bit each day. After a while I realized ?jeez, I am totally hooked on this stuff?. This closely compares to where I am today but from a different angle. Does that make sense? My point is that I can?t make a life change all at once. It adds up on either side of the equation. It makes ODAT make sense now.
Ok, enough of the self analyzing?.
Another topic for the group. I know this is off topic of this site but many of you have experience with this stuff and I really value the wisdom I get here. I have a 20 year old that is about to make my entire head explode. He is driving me bug crap. So here is the deal. He thinks he is an adult. Since he got out of high school he pushes the envelope a little bit further. His curfew went from 11 to whenever he feels like coming home. I bitch and grip to him about it. Now he has a serious girlfriend. Sometimes he tells me that he is staying at her apartment over night because she lives close to his work and he is tired. Of course me and Mrs. IJM do not approve of this. We have had countless conversations regarding personal responsibility, getting priorities in order ? 1) family 2) school, 3) job ? somewhere down the line ? girls.
Now here is the other side of the coin. He has a student loan and is putting himself through college that way. He pays his gas. I make him pay a portion of his car insurance because he ended up on high risk. Mrs. IJM and I supply him with a loving home, supportive parents, we pay his healthcare insurance, dental insurance, cell phone, food when he is here, and an occasional handful of bucks. I went through basically the same thing at that age. When I was his age I could make a case for it being my life. But I did extremely dumb stuff and was very very lucky. But we still worry. I fear that he will make the wrong decisions. What if he is NOT careful sexually, he drinks, he drops out of college, he generally makes the wrong decisions?.. He is a good kid. I am just afraid that if we come down too hard we will drive him away from us. I took him to dinner and a movie last week to talk about all this and thought we had a great talk and an understanding but I?m not seeing any changes.
I guess I just don?t want to let go of my little boy. But when it is right to step back and let him make his own mistakes? I?ve got the experience to see the dangers out there. Just like my Dad did when I would ignore him.
Ok, it was on my mind so I just thought I would put it out there.
Speaking of girls ? I use to date a midget. I was nuts over her?.. we broke up though because she kept sticking her nose in my business?.. Ok, that was a bad attempt at humor but I didn?t have a thought of the day and felt it my duty to add some color to the thread.
Take care all!
IJM
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