AF Daily - Wed 9/7

[greeneyes]

Fabbies!!!

Lav, thinking of you today. :l

Marshy, wondering how you're doing.

Going to the river. Sorta coolish out this AM. I think I have post partum depression from both bathroom projects being finished. Or maybe it's from having to clean up builder's dust yet again.

P3, where ARE you???

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Good morning Abbers!

Another dark & damp day here, ugh!
Be careful at the river greenie. We have flood warnings up around these parts

Looking for the strength to get thru this day in one piece......I'll find it.

Wishing everyone a great AF Wednesday!

Lav

[momof3]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Good Morning All,

Another rainy day here. I think it's supposed to rain all week.

Girls went back to school yesterday. Yippee!!

IJM, I read your post about your son yesterday. My impression is that he sounds like a pretty good young man and that you are a darn good dad. I think the most important thing is to keep having a relationship with him and keep the communication lines open. I was super wild at that age and had no communication with my parents. My dad had not yet quit drinking and my mom was quiet and resentful.

Hi Jenny, Happy to hear that you are still AF and loving school.

Greenie, Have a great time at the river. Wish I could be there with you.

Hello to DG, Lav, LVT.

Lav, So sorry to hear about your dog. It's good that you will be there with her.

Happy to hear that your wife will be home soon Det.

Where IS P3?

I'm thinking of Marshy too.

M3

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Hi fABbies! I too am on the wavelength of sending healing vibes to Marshy and comfort vibes to Lav. Lav, it was really striking for me to put Buck's picture from better times in my avatar. His decline was so gradual I didn't fully realize how far down he had gone until I really looked at how he was in his adult prime. I just know you are doing the right thing for Girl Dog too. :l And yes - where IS P3?????

Jenny - I think it's so awesome you are pursuing knowledge in an area you love "just in case." We truly do never know where life is going to take us. Readiness is good!

Greenie - have fun by the river! If you are looking for another project, come visit.

IJM, I wish you well with your sons. I bet they will turn out just fine.

Well, I gotta scoot. Homework + getting hair done with Mom and having lunch with the woman I ran into at the recovery coalition meeting a few weeks ago. My Mom worked for her for many years. Should be fun.

Have a fABulous day one and all! One thing is for sure...

DG

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Doggygirl;1174568 wrote: Lav, it was really striking for me to put Buck's picture from better times in my avatar. His decline was so gradual I didn't fully realize how far down he had gone until I really looked at how he was in his adult prime.

I had one of those picture calendars made after one of my goldens moved on. Picked my favorite 13 pics (one for cover) over his lifetime. I thoroughly enjoyed it and the healing it brought.

now I'm REALLY going to the river. I've been trying to order a groupon thing and it won't take the coupon code. I'm like pavlov's chicken pecking at it over and over and over

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Hello friends,

Thinking of you today Lav.:l

I hope Papmom checks in!!!

IJM--My son has been pushing for independence since he turned 16. Honestly, he acts like he can do anything he wants, stay out as late as he wants....but so far he is abiding by our rules. He just turned 17. Luckily he has made pretty good choices so far. I'm a little concerned about a couple of the friends he hangs around with, but I don't think he chose them, they just come with another friend he really likes.
In other words, I don't have any advice for you. I don't think I could handle having my kids still live at home after they turn 18 and graduate. I know I will still worry, but it will be time to let go and let them learn for themselves that maybe mom and dad knew what they were talking about. It sounds to me like you and your wife have done a great job of communicating with him and have some definite boundaries. Good luck!

I have so much to do this week! ARGHHH! My cemetery job is almost over for the season, but still lots to do there. Meanwhile my garden needs attention, and it is time to do some serious canning! Not to mention the mess in the basement I need to deal with and all the kid's activities! I better get started. Have a great sober day all:h

[jennyneric]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Good Morning...

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Happy AF'ing Wednesday ABeroooos!

was Papmom having issues with the storm? maybe it knocked out her internet service. or damaged her computer. hmmmm. I recall she had posted a phone# a couple weeks ago if anyone has that maybe they can give her a wee jingle.

i didn't know Pavlov had a chicken. I learn many grand things here.

be well everyone, zooming along

[Kaslo]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Hi all Fabulationists. I too send my thoughts of calming to Lav, who has a tough row to hoe today.

I STILL miss my little Kaslo Jack Russel dog who was killed by a bear in june of 2008. And for whom I am named.

IJM, I have two adult children. One ok, the other not. But I am making a bridge to the not one. I had to pull back or lose her completely on a couple of occassions when she was much younger than now. From my reading, like others here, I see you are a wonderful Dad, you have to be. Funny, quirky, kind. Just be yourself, and let him discover his own path, is my advice. I think it was Lav who said you gave him all the right stuff by now (or something like that). He is going to make decisions and pull away from you a bit and take charge of his life. Some will be based on what you gave him, some of his own design. You might not even approve of some of his choices. Even in my troubled daughters darkest moments, she still draws from the well of kindness, love, tolerance, fun, right and wrong. She gets it messed up, but she rights her self. Your young man, and he is an adult now, by most standards, will probably make you very proud in many ways over the next few decades. One should let them know when they do, and be quiet when the dont because really thats all you can do with adult kids, IMHO. I love being with my adult children, even when they are a pain still. I cant do anything to change them NOW, (at 21 and 27), the die is cast. I can just sit back, enjoy and not judge. Its hard to do, but it makes them better people, and believe me they really appreciate the credit I give them to make thier own decisions and thier own way. And yeah they do come back to live here for brief periods if they are broke, that is the way it is, nowadays. I have a few rules, like clean up after yourself, and help out. Other than that I cant tell them who to be friends with, when to come home, etc etc. All that stuff is long out of my grasp.

M3, hope you are enjoying the peace of kids outta the house, I am as well. All gone to university an dback to thier own lairs. DoggyG hope you enjoyed your lunch. I also enjoyed my friends visit, but went to bed when the scotch came out. Det when is the wife home? Hope you have some flowers in a vase for her on the kitchen counter! Yet? Greenie, when you gonna post a pix of that river of yours? Hi to LVT and yeah, where is Pap?

I am back at work, after a nice morning visit with slightly hung over friend. Not me tho. nananabooboo. Kas

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Hello all,

Thank you for the thoughts and healing vibes. I'm ok. It still doesn't seem quite real - I keep thinking I'll call mum to tell her something or for a chat and realise I can't do that any more. Very sad. But I know she's always with me. I have her nose among other things :H

I feel very sorry for my dad, it's hit him hard and on top of the stress he's had looking after her for the past year it's a very difficult time for him.

Me, dad and my sister are meeting on Saturday to scatter mum's ashes on a hill she and dad used to walk on when they were young. My brother has decided not to go after initially saying he wanted to. I think he's having trouble dealing with it but won't talk about it.

Lav - sorry about your dog. You're doing the right thing.

Have a peaceful day/ evening.

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Marshy,
It really does take a while to fully process the loss of your Mom. I picked up the phone so many times to call mine after she passed, I completely understand. I hope your Dad is OK :|


Well, Girl Dog went peacefully, thank goodness. I held her head & just talked quietly to her. I did OK until it was time to leave, just about made it out of the door at the Vet's office before the tears started.

R.I.P. Girl Dog
Maxie the Piggy Swissy & I will miss you!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Lav...:l:l:l RIP Girl Dog. :h

DG

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Hi Everyone,

So sorry I've been AWOL for the past week and I'm sorry I worried you all. Thank you so much for all the PMs.

Before I explain, please let me offer my heartfelt condolences to both Marshy and Lav on the loss of their loved ones. I've been in both places and I know how sad you both are. Big hugs coming your way.

I've been in a very dark place for about a week now. Yesterday was the first day I didn't cry.
I guess the loss of the 2 potential jobs hit me harder than I thought. Last Thursday Job #3 brought the final 3 candidates on campus for their interviews and for some reason I was in the right place at the right time to see one of them being given a tour. It really upset me so I decided to flee to the caf and find an out of the way table and just read while I ate lunch. The woman I thought was my friend who told me I didn't make the final cut found me and came over to say hi. I barely looked up at her, acknowledged her and then ignored her and went back to reading. Pretty immature I know but I just couldn't bear for her to see my bloodshot eyes and know that I'd been crying. She just stood there for a few seconds and then moved on. It was pretty much down hill from there. I begged my boss for Friday off and spent it in bed feeling very down and sorry for myself. I did manage to go to the agility trial on Saturday where I had promised to volunteer. I was kept pretty busy so that was good. Sunday was a vet appointment for my oldest cat (18?) and an attempt to sail with my dad but the winds were too high for his new boat. All through the weekend I had some run ins with the neighbor kids who live next door and have the lab and pit bull. They kept letting their dogs out when mine were out during the early morning or late at night (one time was at midnite-i heard them coming out and asked them to hold off for 5 min as the dogs fence run and go crazy but he blew me off and let her out anyway). I'm still not sure why the system didn't work last weekend-it was very frustrating and in my state I didn't handle it well. Monday I spent a lot of time in bed as well but did manage some chores. Back to work yesterday where I found out I was volunteered by my boss to teach a Freshman Seminar class this semester. No extra pay of course and I still have to manage my work load on top of class time and class prep. Nice. I also found out that the appraisal on my house came in lower than expected so there is a good chance I won't be able to refinance.
So, despite everything I seem to be climbing out of my hole a little bit but basically I don't feel much of anything anymore. I'm living for my "kids" and that is about it. I have an interview for a PT job at an Assisted Living Center as an Activity assistant on Friday. Probably minimum wage but at least it will pay for my heat this winter if I get it. Otherwise I don't know what I'm going to do about oil.
I gave up listening to the meditations as I just couldn't relate to the subject matter and I just got antsy during the whole thing. I'm trying to believe that I am a good person who deserves good things but I'm not being very convincing. I am still AF but primarily because I can't afford to buy any wine. I still wouldn't mind being really numb every nite but I don't want the after affects the next day. It's bad enough regular food gives me nightly heartburn.
I've gained a few more lbs because I can't be bothered to fix decent meals. I just don't have the energy to do anything but snack.

So there you have it. Pretty bleak but I'm not looking for pity or sympathy. It is what it is. Life certainly has not really gotten significantly better since I went AF 16 months ago-it kind of has tanked actually- and that is very disappointing but I know that if I start drinking again there will be no hope at all for any improvement. The one good thing has been meeting all of you and I know that if I am ever to get out of this funk, I'll need you all to help me. I don't think I could bear to lose you all as friends so that alone is enough to keep me AF.

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

papmom :l:l

I'm so sorry the universe seems to be crapping on you big time right now - certainly doesn't seem fair
Think I should put a smudge stick in the mail for you. You can use it to chase away the negative energy surrounding you - seriously
You hang in with us now.........we'll keep our heads together & above water without resorting to old, bad habits :l

[ItsJustMe]

AF Daily - Wed 9/7

Hi Pap –

I am so glad you are back with us. Greenie has been saying some really bad things about you but of course I took up for you!

Jeez – it does sometimes seem that when we get down, everything that can happen does happen. I’m certainly no physiologist and Lord knows I have my own problems. But let’s take a look at a few things:

1) So you were turned down on the job selection for 3 jobs. Heck, I know other really talented folks that have not had a job at all for months and had lots of turn downs. I know that doesn’t make it any easier but I think you are a very smart lady and 3 turn downs does not make you a failure. I’d flood the market with my resume and do some major networking if I were you. You would be an asset on anyone’s team.
2) So you did not want your old friend (or whatever you would call her) to see you emotional. Dude, you are human. If it hurts, express it! If I had a choice of being emotional or cold and unfeeling, I’d pick emotional every day of the week and twice on Sundays.
3) As far as being immature – once again, last time I checked, my friend Pap was human. That in itself let’s you experience immaturity at ANY AGE!
4) Feeling sorry for yourself…. Ditto
5) The kids next door? – give me your address and I will Fed Ex you a can of Genuine Georgia Whoop Ass that you can open on them.
6) Being volunteered for something that you won’t get paid for. Hell, when that doesn’t happen to me I am shocked!
7) PT Job at an assisted living place for minimum wage? If you enjoy it do it. Life has a tendency to work itself out.
8) You wouldn’t mind being numb? That is the easy way out. Anyone could do that – but you are a strong lady. I can’t wait until I can say I have been AF as long as you have. God, don’t throw that away Pap. You have something that right now I as well as many others can only dream about.

So that is the IJM take on the situation. Things sort of suck right now. And of course it’s normal to feel bad. But when you get done doing that, check out the asset column and see how many good things you got. I guarantee that they will add up to a higher number.

Take care.

IJM

P.S. If you want that can of GA Whoop Ass sent next day delivery just say the word!