AF daily - Friday, September 9th

[Marshy]

Hello abbers,

Papmom, good to hear you're finding some positives in your new role and I hope things work out with the bank.

Greenie, nice pix. What a great place to take the doggie.

Kaslo, I think my brother might well regret not going to scatter mum's ashes. I don't think he's facing up to what's happened. He was very reluctant to visit mum in hospital and the hospice. My dad had to insist that he went to see mum on the day she later died. He told my dad he wanted to remember mum as she was when she was well but as a friend of mine said spending time with someone when they are dying doesn't wipe out a whole lifetime of memories. And although some of the times I spent with mum when she was very ill were upsetting for me, there are things I wouldn't want to have missed - one time about two weeks before she died when she was crying with laughter over a silly story dad was telling us sticks in my mind, taking her out in a wheelchair to see the duck pond, holding her hand and watching her stop breathing as she died.
Although it's hard for me, dad and my sister, we spent a lot of time with mum in the last year, through the good and bad, and I think that's helping us all now. But my brother's experience has been different. And I know he's struggling with it because of a few things he's said about feeling bad about not being around more but unfortunately it's too late now. I really hope it doesn't suddenly hit him and he comes crashing down (especially as he has problems with alcohol too and I don't want to see him turning to drink).

Well, after two days on the sofa I'm venturing out to meet GF when she finishes work and we're going to the theatre.

Have a peaceful day everyone.

[momof3]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Good Morning Everyone,

My goodness, it just will not stop raining here. The major highway near our house is closed due to flooding. Flooding everywhere and people stranded. The school my oldest daughter goes to was cancelled today...too many road closures to get there. This coupled with the news about pending threats on the 10 year anniverary of 9/11. What am I supposed to do, leave town? We live about 3 miles from the Pentagon. I will never forget that day 10 years ago; the sound of the jet hitting the building, the smoke permeating, the panic.

P3, Happy to hear that you are feeling better. Keep strong and this too shall pass. I really do believe that something big and better is headed your way. Sounds like the course that you will be teaching could be fun. We all love you here!!

Marshy, I was touched by your sharing of the precious moments you had with your mom. It is too bad about your brother but that was his choice and I only hope that now there will be learning that comes from it for him.

Kas, I love your words of wisdom and your sense of humor.

Treya...onward to the next 30 days.

Jenny, My goodness you are busy. There is no time for alcohol in your life!!

Come on home Mrs. Det and give your man some lovin'!!

M3

[Lavande]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Good morning Abbers from the Gloom Dome!

Ugh M3 this weather is depressing
I have friends who are basically stranded in their homes because so many roads are closed due to flooding.

I am praying that Homeland Security can keep us all safe this weekend. I can't imagine witnessing another terror event in my lifetime

Well, I'm off to Curves (the roads are clear) then back to get my funky house in gear.
Wishing everyone a great AF Friday!

Lav

[universal]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Morning abbers!

Marshy, I lost my mom 10 years ago and it took me a long time to deal with it but now that I have the memories are so wonderful. I hope that happens for your brother.

I feel for those of you going through the flooding! I as well am worried about the 10 year anniversary of 9/11 and hope that everything is okay.

The insurance people are coming this morning to go through all of our electronics that have been ruined due to our little lightning strike. Hopefully they don't give us a hard time.

My hubby is in a bball tournament this weekend in Niagara Falls so we will be at the trailer for one last weekend. Hopefully he does well. I haven't been to any games this summer and am looking forward to being the cheering section.

Still having brutal AL dreams. The one last night was particularly disturbing - I hope that they end soon!

Love and hugs,
Uni

[LVT25]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Hello friends,

Congrats Treya on 60+ days sober!!! Huge milestone!:goodjob:

I am nervous about the 9/11 anniversary as well. I'll sure be thinking about you guys in the DC area! I can't even imagine what it was like being that close as those awful events unfolded. All of the stories they have been telling.....so so sad!

Life at the LVT house is slowly getting back to the way I like it. Hubby is on the wagon, trying to recover from a full 8 nights of drinking beer. UGH! Makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I know it won't last, but I'm going to enjoy it while I can. The only problem is, the lack of AL must take away all of his mojo and energy. He won't do a damn thing except sit in his recliner. He's better today though--out in the hay field bright and early.
I'm loving our fall weather. I hope I can get a little bit caught up on my canning and cleaning and laundering this weekend.

Hello and have a great sober weekend all. Esp you Det!:h

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Hi fAbbies!!!


:yougo:CONGRATULATIONS TREYA ON 61 DAYS AF!!!!:yougo:

I'm sorry I missed your celebration yesterday! But every AF day is a celebration for people like us - so there you have it!

P3 - so glad to see you back and so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Always such good feedback from all the fABbies and I especially liked IJM's list. :l Have all of the jobs in question been at the saem Uni where you work now? I am recalling a situtation years ago in my career. I was a pretty high level manager and I had other managers and supervisors reporting to me. I reported to a Sr. VP. One of the managers under me was really a star and I wanted to promote her when we created some new Director positions. For whatever reason, my boss was quite happy with her in her manager role, but simply WOULD NOT consider her for a Director position. Ever. He couldn't even articulate it. So I know it wasn't even something real. But for her and her career, the truth is she was at a dead end. She ended up eventually moving on and also moving up in order to achieve the professional stardom she was capable of all along. Sometimes shit like that happens and I am wondering if something like that is going on around you in your work? And I would pay to see the can of Georgia Whoopass being opened on the neighbor dogs.

Marshy :l I am so glad you and XNGF are getting out to the theatre. I hope you and also your brother and other family members are able to make peace with things all in your own unique ways.

Greenie - I love the pictures of your river / little doggy walk place!!! Just gorgeous.

Det - I don't know what is funnier. A plant growing in your sink, or Lav suggesting you should smoke it! :H I hope you are having a happy homecoming with Dx _____________.

First quiz was yesterday. I know for sure I guessed wrong on 1 of 20, and I'm thinking I probably got a couple others wrong too. Some of my guesses were right, which I suppose is good. But I have lots of work to do before the mid term in 1.5 weeks to reduce the amount of guessing LOL!

Sometimes we end up discussing social issues related to addiction in class. Not so much by plan, but just because it comes up. Yesterday we were talking about treatment options for people with zero money. I already know how the hospitals operate with alcoholics - get them stable enough to walk, and then send them out the door. They of course do the same thing with heroin addicts. Stabilize on methadone and then after a couple of days - out the door. Problem is, the methadone clinics have a year long waiting list to accept anyone who has no money to pay. So....a heroin addict is sent packing out the door and withdrawals sometimes start before they hit the street. So the cycle of drug acquisition through *whatever means* continues. (robbery, prostitution, etc.)

There are not easy answers to these things. People who do not want recovery don't find it, and are a cost burden on society. People who want recovery have limited options, and like most of us here - don't get it right the first time, or second time, or often for many times after that. Society (which I am part of as we all are) resent the cost, and especially during these times of limited means for everyone. It's just a huge problem and the answers are not simple. I see myself more involved in this all someday - not sure how but I'm guessing it will happen when it happens.

I am looking forward to the local event "Rally Round Recovery" coming up a week from tomorrow. This event brings together many in our community - recovering people, treatment providers, politicians, etc. There will be fun as well as serious stuff, activities for kids - it's a family event. One of my AA friends who is a comedian now will be doing a show. Another friend from AA will be speaking about his experience with addiction. Several politicians I know locally are supposed to be there - I will end up making some decisions about whether I "out" myself or not. I'm OK with that and will just do whatever seems right at the time.

Heroin is a growing problem in our area among the high school teens. In our county, two years ago there were 5 deaths from heroin overdose. Last year there were 26 and this year is trending to be higher than that. (we were already at 26 as of last month). A high percentage of those are high school age teens. 2 local men who both lost teen sons to heroin OD have started a local organization to raise public awareness. They will also be at this event.

I am very happy to be getting more involved in the recovery community. Not sure why I felt like rambling all of that, but there you have it!

Hi to all other fABbies - Greenie, I can't believe somebody stole our trademark for a TV show. We should sue. :H

One thing is for sure...

DG

[Kaslo]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Goodenaben Fabinmeiners, ach tung! Einen vas painten de fencen deck, unt haben ouchen unt stabben en minen strumphozen. Dankeshein das Tylenol unt Hot-tub. Aussen de weather es tsu varm! 34 degrees Celcius. WTF?

Thus the multicultured flavor of Canada. (my apologies to anyone who actually speaks or writes German).

Hello to Marshy especially this morning. YES go to the theater with your sweetie. Hold hands and laff. Your mom would love to know that. And your poor brother. He is really conflicted, and thank goodness your dad brought him in. For your MOM as well as him. I guess if he misses the ceremony, you can arrange to have some kind of second memorial for him when he IS ready??? Is that a possibility? We all know that seeing her unwell is not going to overshadow his need to preserve the past, and possibly live in it forever, and you have to wonder who he is really thinking about, its not your poor mother, but she had you and your sister and dad, thank goodness. We all should have the care and joyful moments you describe in the end. Good for you for being there for her when she really needed you.

All the rest of you lot, have a wonderful day for the deck unpainted and unvarnished lies to my left elbow at the moment and its NOT GOING TO PAINT ITSELF IS IT? And why on earth did I wake up in cheerless dread thinking over and over about painting the deck....hmmmm? Give me 16 overlapping contaminants in a wetland, instead.

Love to you all, in AF states, so glad I quit that motherf*&er.

Kas

[jennyneric]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Ok

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Uni - the dreams WILL eventually stop. Hang in there!! I've only been to Niagra Falls once - the company I used to work for is based on Buffalo NY. So went there on a "sales meeting AKA get drunk" event. Hope your hubby's team wins!

LVT - your hubby is going through withdrawal. He probably wouldn't want to think of it that way, but that's what it is. Just a few drinks daily or even several times a week is enough for our bodies to be trying to adapt to, and then trying to adapt again when it's not there. I never would have wanted to think of my hangovers, lethargy, etc. as "withdrawal" but them's the facts.

Jenny - You are really doing great just taking it one day at a time and staying AF. Boy I could relate to what you said. "a glass of wine?" What a crock!!! One (or two or three or four) was never enough. If the urges continue, maybe you could close your eyes and replay that awful night in slo-mo.

M3 - I can't believe your weather out there!!!!!

Lav - so glad you are still enjoying Curves!! you will be strong enough to REALLY :b&d: YB soon!

Well, time to quit goofing around and get my homework done.

DG

[Kaslo]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

DG, can you please remind me of the word you learned to describe the let down you feel after quitting AL? I cant remember it and I can't find the day you talked about it. I will write it down this time.



kas

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Anhedonia. It is a brain chemistry issue and usually rights itself with time (up to a year) if it is strictly due to drinking. Anhedonia is also associated with some types of psychiatric disorders so if related to something other than alcohol, might not right itself without other intervention.

At least that is my extremely basic understanding of it.

DG

[ItsJustMe]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Sup?

I’m hanging out at home today. I decided to work from home so I could go get my friend that has been in the hospital out of the house for a while. She has been having a lot of pain so her doc upped her meds yesterday to a level that would take down an elephant. Needless to say, she is unconscious and not leaving the house. So I am “all dressed up and nowhere to go”…. Crap – I was hoping she would be showing off her new set today!

Not a whole lot going on. Tomorrow Mrs. IJM has been legally locked to me for 23 years! Guess I ought to do something nice for her. Maybe I will take her to McDonalds and let her supersize her meal! …………….. I’m only kidding. We were going to go out of town for the weekend but there is so much to do around the house we decided to postpone it for a few weeks. I have parts of a pool table scattered all over the house. My game room remodel is not going really fast.

Speaking of STD’s…. Ok, no one spoke about it but I wanted to find a way to bring it up anyway….. I get a daily email from Men’s Health magazine that highlights a couple of select topics. The one I got today highlighted a new trend in STD’s for men – oral STD’s. GROSS!!!!!!!! So I am reading and wondering how one would get such a condition. Well I let my warped imagine roam. As I read, sure enough, it was exactly how I thought one could get it. Holy Smokes Batman!, am I glad I am not a single young adult these days. There is so much strange stuff out there for this generation, I feel like I grew up on another planet. When I was a kid, I had never heard of AIDs, heroine, teen pregnancy, or oral STDs. Back then Ecstasy was something you experienced if your girlfriend was on the wild side…. I guess I am just getting old. I have turned into my Dad while I wasn’t watching!

Treya – Congrats on 60 days!!! If you will look over your shoulder I am right behind you. However, in this race, please DON’T let me catch up to you. I am fine with you leading!

M3 – Why don’t you head on down here to God’s country for the weekend. You will be safe. About the only thing we have around here to terrorize is the neighborhood dogs…..

LVT – enjoy it while you got it. These days I try to take anything life hands me as a blessing – regardless of the size.

P3 – EXACTLY what doggie said. I have a similar position to the one she is describing. I have been trying to fill a position for over a month and my senior mgmt. has found fault with everyone I have recommended from my interviews. I hate recruiting. I would rather poke a Grizzly Bear in the ass with a short stick than conduct another interview.

Kas – why did I suddenly get a craving for Sauerkraut?

Uni – I used to have the AL dreams as well. I don’t know if this helped or not, but they ended about the time I started devoting at least a hour each night of reading something I really enjoyed before I went to sleep.

Ok, gotta get some work done. Hope everyone has a great rest of the Friday!

IJM

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

OK. So IJM. Are they getting those oral STDs in some other way than what I am imagining or not imagining? Never mind. I really don't want to imagine that. It's wild enough when I imagine ____________.

OK - moving on..... Hey IJM. I have an idea. Go put your pool table together! :H That should give you something less..... to think about.

DG

[Lavande]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Had some unexpected time with all three grandkids this afternoon
Oh yeah, I fed them, changed them, played with them, the whole nine yards :H
What a great way to change your perspective almost instantly

DG, did I mention that I always thought YB had a touch of non-AL related anhedonia?
Honestly I am still wondering why I always thought that 'someday he would enjoy the normal things that the rest of us enjoy :hitme: Guess that was a monumental waste of my time

The rain has finally stopped, thank goodness! I can even see a bit of sunshine!!!!

My son just told me he is scheduled to work his 24 hr shift tomorrow (his firehouse is in DC) & fully expects to be held OT all day Sunday 9/11. I hope we are all safe Sunday.

Kaslo, I actually did sit in German class for 4 years in high school but I still understood what you were trying to say :H

Hello to Marshy, Uni, jenny, greenie, IJM & everyone!

[Kaslo]

AF daily - Friday, September 9th

Oh oh. Lavs on to me. Better change to another language to mangle. Or not. IJM you gott do sumpin for Mrs. IJM. Might I suggest taking her out to dinner. Or possibly ordering in, and playing pool on your newly assembled pool table?

THanks DG re anhedonia. Its something I dont want to forget, as I did struggle with it for about 2 - 4 months there, and now...bingo. Disappeared. It must be very defeating for people to have this condition for up to a year.

Just for interest sake, hope nobody here minds, but in my work last January, just before I quit drinking for good (yay!) I was working on a mortality and morbidity in equines. The donkey livers I was looking at the time had some cellular issues, that I could not attribute to the suspected cause which was toxic response to a substance. So, I got an opinion from a good histopath expert (cellular injury guy). He told me that both equines I was examining had an histopathological history going back a year or more, that was structural and clear and related to stress. My thinking and reading at the time was that if equines can have such lengthy residual influences from physical stress than humans can have residual toxicological effects for at least a year from AL abuse. I think its deep seated and persistant and the reason why its so danged hard to quit for many people. So DG, when you write stuff about what you are learning, I may not respond right a way but I am very interested and I am taking notes. And apparently losing them too.:H



kas