AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

[ItsJustMe]

Thanks for the positive comments on the man cave. I have a confession though. Since the man cave is directly off our foyer Mrs. IJM has several parameters I had to stay within. The first pool table light considered was a stained glass Budweiser light. That was vetoed for both the obvious reason but she said lit looked awful. Colors, curtains, etc. were selected by her. I just did the heavy stuff, you know “strong back, weak mind”…

And Pap, that is a 100g Saltwater reef system. It’s been running for about 8 years. I just recently did an complete overhaul on it so it's a little barren right now. But yes, usually my fish live. We also have a 60g fresh water community tank in another room. If you really would like help with a tank, let me know.

Welcome Bean. Hope you will stay around for a while and that you are successful in your journey.

Det, somehow I have avoided the check flics. Mrs. IJM usually goes with a friend. But I drag her to most of the movies I want to see. I know it’s one sided. I did sit through an entire season of Sex and the City and The L Word. I would never admit, but I actually enjoyed both of those. For Sex and the City, a bunch of people living with more drama than me… The L Word, ok nothing I can relate to but I still watched it…….

Kas, awesome pics!

The IJM thought of the day: Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

Have a great day everyone. Check out the 60 day counter. We are down to the final week!

[momof3]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Goooooood Moooorning Abbers,

The weekend of yoga teacher training was awe-some!!! This program is really about inner and outer transformation. Back later with more details.

I'm so happy to hear how many folks here are AF and really LIVING their lives.

xxoo
M3

[Guitarista]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Greetings Momma 3, IJM, and Fabber's far and wide!

Sounds real cool M3. Bravo!

Great going on your AF time IJM. Will you continue on after 60 day's?

Bean. You asked earlier for a link to some info on living with an addict. Here is something i just googled and had a quick look at. There might be some useful stuff there for you and your partner, but see what you think. Plenty of stuff out there in googleland anyway. Master Question List

Living With Your Alcoholic Addict

A safe, sober, and magical day to all.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Good morning fABbies!!!

IJM, thanks for kicking things off today. And for the wonderful humor in your question of the day!!! Your man cave looks awesome, even with the fabulous light and curtains that we just KNEW you didn't select. :b&d: on the Budweiser light idea!!! I was noticing your counter the other day and thinking how fast the time is flying!!! Does it feel like it's going fast for you? I seem to remember the early days feeling S-L-O-W. Doesn't feel that way any more, that's for sure.

M3 - WHEE I am so excited for your yoga teacher training! :yougo: I can't wait to hear more about it!

G-man, always good to see you. I wonder if we should start a thread in the "Families.." section to collect a bunch of links like that with info for people who are trying to live with / help us alkies? Might be good to get some stuff like that in one place? Does the Spiritual River web site also have some good stuff for families/friends of alkies? (my memory is no good any more!!)

Bean, I can relate to that little bit you mentioned last night about having a sort of "last hoorah" mentality before moving. It's funny - LONG before I was willing to admit my AL problem, I moved around a lot. Different jobs, different adventures, etc. I always blamed my circumstances for my AL problem, and always thought my drinking would come back under control as soon as I got to my next place. Of course it never did. I had NO IDEA that other people with drinking problems thought that. Imagine my amazement when I read about the "geographic solution" in the Big Book and discovered that alcohol dependent people have all been thinking like this for many years! Anyway...just thought I'd share that. I hope you are off to a good start today!

I am off to a good start. I woke up at 4 after a good night sleep - fell asleep early. So I just got up and my book keeping for the week is done. Next stop is breakfast, then pick up my assignment for the week in Dual Addictions and get busy.

Yesterday I read a long and tedious and technical chapter summarizing all the physical / medical implications of heavy drinking. I was really pretty shocked reading several things - the sleep issues being one of them. I didn't realize that sleep is pretty complicated to begin with having so many phases. And AL messes with all of them. Something I did not experience but I've heard about is people having HORRIBLE nightmares when they first stop drinking. The experts believe this is due to the fact that AL really represses the phase of sleep where we dream and our bodies TRY HARD to get things back in order. So when the AL stops, that TRY HARD to dream causes extreme dreams. That's my layman's understanding of what I read, anyway. Scary stuff. Most people probably get back to some sort of regular sleep in a few weeks, but it can take up to a year or two for things to get fully back to normal. (whatever normal is without AL - sometimes there can be other non-AL sleep problems.) The book confirmed that sleeping pills on anything other than a VERY occassional basis are a really bad idea. Keeps the sleep totally a mess if taken regularly.

P3 - sounds like you had a really good time yesterday! Mr. Doggy is getting back to normal again. So I'm not expecting many weekends off from dog training. His current dog has been a wonderful learning dog for Mr. Doggy but does not have the strong nerves you really want in a Schutzhund dog. So "shit happening" on the trial field is just part and parcel of having a dog that is "OK" but not really strong in that regard. BUT...it was very odd for this dog to blow tracking that bad. Combine it with the fact that the guy who laid the track for Mr. Doggy does not actively and regularly track. So...there is some question as to whether the track was even laid correctly. That was very frustrating for him. Combine that with the fact Cooper is not turning out to be a good candidate for Schutzhund either. So he's just trying to decide what to do. He's at a cross road where to continue like he wants too, he really needs a different dog. My foot is firmly down that we are not going to be "collecting" any more than we have. High drive GSDs do not really play well together in packs - multiple males don't tend to get along and multiple females don't tend to get along. So adding another one to the chaos of our house ain' happenin'. That means he needs to find a good pet home for Cooper before he can move ahead. Cooper will actually make an awesome family dog for the right person. He has very strong nerves and confidence, and is also very people friendly. It will take someone who understands where he is at from a behavioral standpoint and have the ability to work with him, and definitely be his pack leader. (otherwise, Cooper will take charge, LOL and that would not be good for the rugs, electrical cords, pillows, etc.)

Anyway...that is my ramble. Time for brekkie and the next phase of the day. Thank goodness there is no longer AL on my brekkie menu. There sure used to be.

No matter what we tell ourselves in our minds about our desire for a morning drink (ie. "oh I'm just under a lot of stress right now) the REAL reason we desire AL in the morning is to ward off withdrawal. And withdrawal may or may not have a lot of outward symptoms (shakes, sweats, rapid heart beat, etc.). The core of what is going on is that the brain has developed a "new normal" that includes alcohol. And it is trying to get back to it's normal - which is now a blood alcohol level greater than 0. This is all driven by physiological realities for people like us. I had no idea.

I'm glad to be treating my body better now.

One thing is for sure...

DG

[Lavande]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Good morning Abbers!

IJM, I would have nixed the Budweiser light fixture too :H
Some things just don't belong in our homes.....

M3, glad you are enjoying your yoga teacher training, sounds wonderful

Hello Mr G, always nice to see you

DG, you sure do sound like you have your ducks in order - nice

Well, off to Curves - good way to start the week!
AL is not coming along!!!!

Lav

[Treya]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Hi guys,
IJM -by the time the Olympics comes rolling around you'll be headed for the 100 metres running track. I sense it. :-))
Been out and about so much in the last week it's hard to catch up with what everyone is doing but it looks as though you're all busy bees in your own ways. Welcome Bean!
Guitarista-do you play guitar by any chance?
DG, you're really getting into the heavy stuff. Al certainly messed with my sleep. A bottle of wine or less in the evening - I'd sleep like a baby till 4-5am and then wake up for the remainder of the night. Not a peaceful way to live. Thankfully that was the extent of the sleep problems for me. Now my sleep pattern is back to normal. Bed by 11:30 centering prayer for 30 mins and I drift off like a baby till 8 am. ( I can post a link to an online centering prayer group online if anyone is interested. It's like falling off a log and way better than artifical sleeping aids.)
Also Mom of3. I'm getting back into my yoga at last. I used to practise a long time ago when my booze pattern was 'normal' Yes, yoga is a spiritual practice and really about inner transformation though it's used for relaxation etc but it's perfect for where I am in my life right now-finding peace and balance within and bringing myself back to the centre. (my mind is habitually hyper-active) I also love the by- products of improving posture, sleep etc. I wish you much joy with your training.
Lavande. You must be getting quite curvaceous by now.
Have a great AF day everyone and all to come. Off for another day in paradise (Italian alps)
XTreya

[universal]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Hi everyone,

I've finally got a computer and internet back after our lightning debaucle. We are waiting now for the insurance check but the guy recomended to them to replace everything since it's all pretty much just toast.

Long weekend with hubby playing ball but it was a lot of fun. Boo was so well behaved, I was totally impressed. And my daughter scored her first goal in hockey on the weekend which was awesome.

I will have to go back and catch up so I apologize for not mentioning anything about what anyone is going through although everyone does sound incredibly positive this morning!

I'll check in later - one thing is for sure......

[LVT25]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Hello friends,

Well fall is def in the air around here. I love fall weather, it has been absolutely gorgeous here! I just dread the thought of what follows fall. Last winter was just so long and cold!

My son just left to turn his football gear in. I feel in my heart it is the right decision. A part of me keeps wanting to make all these decisions for him and "make" him do stuff. I will say that parenting is an on-going learning experience. Always second guessing myself. That is why it is so nice to have a support system here that I can rely on to give me their honest opinions! Thank you. I think I am more worried about it than he is. I'm sure there will be people that judge us without knowing all the facts, so I will find out who the true friends are and who are just acquaintances. I imagine it is hard for anyone that does not live in a small community to understand why this feels so important.

All this talk about yoga makes me think it's time to make time for my yoga class twice a week. I've been so busy this summer I gave it up. I think it's time to start exercising and eating better too. Right after I write this newspaper article, help the kids with 4-H record books, do the laundry, can the tomatoes, make the pickles, work at 2 jobs.............We'll see how it goes.

DG--I must say all the science behind addictions is really interesting to me! Keep posting all that you learn. I might have to start taking notes someday!

Wishing you all a great, productive, happy, healthy, sober week!!:h:l:thanks:

[Kaslo]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

IJM, thanks for noting my photos from last night. Had a great day on the Slocan River yesterday.

Guitar man, I bookmarked that list site you posted. Its very interesting. I have to confess it was the questionairres on the net that got me started thinking maybe I outta be more honest with myself. I actually used to lie myself through the questionairres for a couple of years so I could tell myself i didnt have a problem. How stupid is that? Oh well, So yeah Bean, if you catch this thread of all the threads in the universe of the WWW, catch this one and hang on.

LV I really admire your honesty about your situation. Its very hard to stop trying to protect and shepard teenagers. Its hard to give up and let them take over, and I completely understand how hard it is to know that others may criticize him for stopping a sport he doesnt enjoy. Teens have to learn to deflect criticism from others without being injured by it. I think part of the way they do that is to weigh whats important, someone elses opinions about what they should do against thier own judgement. This is where you came in, in the past because you gave him self confidence, and very good judging skills, I am certain of that. I guess being disapproved of by people we care about is REALLY hard, but in the end your support will really help him.

DG, do you get to read the complex physiology of AL damage to the critical organs of the body, from onset to death? Thats a real shocker. As usual I am really enjoying your snippets of this and that on recovery.

Well, this wont get the baby a new pair of pants. Have a great day to allla you Fabbers.

If I am lucky I will not get bogged down in emails and shite and actually get some serious work done. So I can paint the UPSTAIRS F'ing deck. Lord love a duck.

Kas

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Kas - GORGEOUS PICS yesterday. Forgot to mention that! You do really live in Master of the Universe country!

LVT - I hope you can worry less about what other people think. It's so much more important to just do the right thing, whatever that is, regardless of what anyone thinks and regardless of town size too I think. :l I hope this is that start of a new and exciting chapter in your son's life!

Hi Treya! Wow - everyone getting back to yoga. I drug out my "yoga for inflexible people" DVD but that's as far as I got!

On the sleep thing - what surprised me was the various phases of sleep that occur without our knowledge. The only thing I was ever aware of was falling asleep and waking up and whether those things seemed normal. AL also disrupts phases of sleep that we are completely unaware of. Theoretically, you could fall asleep and wake up in a way that seems fairly normal, but still have disrupted sleep in a way you would be unaware of. But it would affect other things down the line.

Kas - that chapter was an intense 40 pages but very much a summary. I'm sure there are many volumes of entire books just talking about alcohol impact on the liver. Reading it was fairly depressing, actually. I found myself thinking "I wonder what I would have done if I had read all this stuff when I was drinking, and still in denial." I think I know the answer. I would have slammed the book shut and gone to find something else to do, probably involving a drink or 10.

LOL - lying to yourself on the on-line "do I have a problem" quizzes. A few of us were laughing about that in class last week. I did that too! Many times. If I didn't feel comfortable with a particular test I would just go find another one.

I got 50 out of 50 on my Dual Disorders homework from last week. I am SO EXCITED!!! That's the one where I was convinced the teacher was making me crazy until I realized he wasn't doing anything, LOL. A good grade feels REALLY good when I know I worked and stretched for it.

No AL for me today. I'm going for a pedicure instead.

DG

[Determinator]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Weeeeeeee! another unhung Monday! hidy ho ABland!

got a 6 hour drive ahead of me so gotta be brief

Treya, Italian alps? i'm soooo freaking jealous I could freak out. pictures eh? my dream is to take my Dx and I to Italy for vacation.

DoggyGirl, what a fascinating post, your learning so much and that's got to be fun. I just love learning about these kinds of things.
oh, another crappy thing sleeping pills do is block our bodies ability to release HGH (growth hormone) during the night. meaning we don't recover from physical stress nearly as well, and end up feeling weak and crapola in the day time.

Kas, what lens did you use on that river shot? looked really wide (and awesome as usual).

ok, packing up to zoom zoom

be well loves

[Bean]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Quick fly by for now - I am heading out to the same river Kas was on yesterday!! Loved your photos Kas - how lucky am I that I get to go and see the same scenes, for real?!!

And I am unhung and that feels great.

Thanks G-man for the links. I will definitely check them out later when I have time. I emailed my bloke some stuff from spiritual river last night about helping/dealing with an addict in your life. He needs some time to process it. He's got a VW Van-cave and I am still trying to learn ways to communicate with him without sending him bolting for it!!

K, really got to get going. Laters all.
Bean

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

LAV!!! I just realized I meant to post to you but somehow did not. I was going to ask you if you are sporting a "Curvaliscious" T-shirt yet!!!! I think that one is perfect!

Det - interesting stuff indeed.

Bean - glad you are unhung!

My toes are red and now I'm back to homework.

DG

[Marshy]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Hello all,

Flying in. We had a nice day on Saturday, scattered mum's ashes here. A lovely spot with great views. (Photo library pic so it has a watermark).



I'm glad she's in the open air and part of the countryside she loved so much.

I had a two-hour train journey to get back to London afterwards and was EXHAUSTED when I got back. Everything catching up with me, I think. For the first time in ages I really wanted to get drunk and had to stand in the street and think it through... first of all thinking I could just "disappear" for the evening and get drunk and then pick up where I left off the next day. But I know it doesn't work like that, for me at least. So I stood there talking myself out of it and travelled across London to meet GF for a sober dinner instead. And (as usual!) felt a lot better after eating.

Have a peaceful day/evening everyone. Attached files [img]/converted_files/1664696=6403-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Kaslo]

AF Daily ~ Monday, Sept 12

Marshy your mom was lucky to have you for a daughter. Glad you made it through ok.

Det, that was a 24-105 mm.

DG, I sometimes think some of those quizzies were written by people looking for an excuse to justify being a hoser. Along with the medical community insisting that one to two glasses of wine a day is a benefit. I bet I know what kind of businesses were funding that research. I for one searched for the most liberal quiz I could find, till one day, I said to myself, Kas who are you trying to kid? BTW it was the toxicology of chronic exposure and the long term liver and kidney disease outcomes that finally made ME wake up and smell the coffee. Its truly horrendous. You talk about the body desparately trying to cope with the toxicity. This is a really interesting phenom. There are so many examples of body responses that are protective or corrective, everything from pulling the hand away from a sharp pain or burn to sneezing and coughing to what you describe happening at the tissue and cellular level. Although some people may believe its all kind of random in fact our physiology and inate behaviour is very complex, responsive and protective. Even if WE are simple, reactive and destructive.

Must write about the toxicity of a huge brine spill. Would rather read what YOU are reading....lol!

kas