September Sanctuary-Week 3

[Rusty]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Good Morning Everyone,

This will probably be my one and only post for the day as I leave for France this afternoon.:upset: Fall is my favorite season and the leaves are starting to turn, and it's supposed to be beautiful today. However, I am thankful to have a career that rewards me well for my hard work and so France it must be. Fortunately, this visit, I won't have to spend as much time with my PIA client.

Star- How hard that must have been to go visit your mother's grave.:l I know your dad feels especially loved having you in his life. Do you get to see him often? I am so sorry to hear about your friend's progression of alcoholism. I am in the same boat. One of my co-workers, with whom I had a brief relationship several years ago, is now feeling the longterm effects of alcoholism, and yet, like your friend, he denies it to us, and he does not want any help. I have had to acquire some of his clients because he is too sick to work at the age of 58. He has seizures and blackouts, and yet he won't give up the bourbon. When I dated him, I thought he was the most goodlooking guy I had ever seen. He hid his AL problem from me very well. I had no idea. In just 5 years, he has gone from handsome to just plain old. His face is puffy and gray. His hand shakes and he's in constant pain.....all the while claiming it's his old age. He never mentions AL. We don't expect him to live much longer. As you said, it gives us more reason to be AF when you see the deterioration of people due to AL.

Chill-you, too, have had some emotional days....plus you have a cold. I hope you feel better. It seems a bunch of us are sick. I am leaving for France with a cold, a urinary tract infection and a painful neck. Wah wah wah! I'll be fine.

Papmom-I'm so glad you're getting your financial situation straightened out...talk about stress being a trigger! Regarding my weight loss pill, I get Phentermine from my doctor once per month ($25). No, I've never had a sugar addiction. This weight is due to an underactive thyroid that wasn't diagnosed until after I gained 30 pounds, and the rest is AL weight I'm fighting to get off.

Jolie-good job on going shopping instead of caving.:goodjob: Shopping is much more fun.

Lav-I hope the christening goes well today. I read on the Daily Thread that your daughter and Lily have moved already. I had no idea they would be leaving so soon....you must feel so sad.:l

Well, I have a laundry list of tasks to complete before I leave. A cheery hello to Rustop, SD, Shelley, LBH, and anyone I may have missed, have a great AF Saturday.

Has anyone seen Cassia?

Saturday, September 24, 2011. AF4ME

[Jolie]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Good morning everyone!

Gee it's only 8:00 a.m. my time and already this thread is busy, busy, busy! Gloomy here again today but at least I'm feeling better. Have already started going thru closets and separating good will/trash/will my son ever take it with him piles. Feel like getting organized. You know how some people go thru a spring cleaning phase? I think I prefer to do it in the fall.

Rusty - I know you said you probably won't post again for a while but we'll still be thinking of you and we are wishing you happy travels!

Star - I can understand what you are going thru - sad but in a way these things must be done and it helps to think of good memories and to share these memories with your Dad. Keeps your mom alive in your memory and that's a good thing. Interesting story and while it's sad, it sure makes me realize what I could become if I don't straighten up and fly right! That's why I'm here and I'm thankful for all of you for your support.

Chill - never hurts to try something new but I'm like you - I want it to be my choice and not have something shoved down my throat as being the "only" way. Let us know how it turns out!

Rustop - my two dogs were stinking as well yesterday - you think they would have enough sense to get out of the rain (they have a huge 1/4 acre kennel with a covered dog house included). They were a stinky wet mess when I brough them in last night. Think it's time for a bath for them when all this rain lets up:H

SD - glad your having great weather - I sooooo miss watching my son play football. Enjoy every minute of it cause they will be grown up before you know it!

Papmom - 3 wet dogs - yikes! I think I detest the humidity more than anything!

Lav - "squish squish" - so wet outside hope we don't get a whole lot more rain. I do love going to sleep though and listening to the rain. Hope you'll post pics of this 2nd christening as you know we all love babies and your grandbabies are just especially too darn cute!

Hope everyone has a great AF day!

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Overslept again this morning but who the hell really cares? :H

Yep Jolie, dark, damp & more damp, yuck! Just heard on the news that after our record breaking 19" of rain in August, we are looking at the 3rd weyttest September on record

I have lots of cleanup & cooking/baking things to do today & I'm sitting here with very itchy & slightly swollen hands due to poison ivy. Have I ever told you how much I HATE POISON IVY?????
Have it all over my neck too. This is all because I went out & pulled a few weeds this week. I'm using the very expensive scrub Zanfel but still itching like crazy :upset:

Have a safe trip Rusty & kick that idiot's butt if he gets on your nerves. If you need help just give me a call :H

Hope everyone has a good Saturday star, papmom, SD, rustop, chill & everyone!

Lav

[papmom3]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

hey everyone! Hope you all had a great AF day!

I ended up going to my agility seminar as the weather gods decided to suspend the rain game for today only. It was awesome and because of the weather, or rather the predictions, only 5 of us showed up so we all got lots of individual attention from the instructor and a seminar that went twice as long as scheduled. Whoo hoo! I learned so much and can't wait to practice in the backyard. After lunch I pulled up my BGPs and got the mower out despite the oppressive heat. I now have a neat and trimmed up yard front and back. Whew! But it was hard to do with the long wet grass and it was very hot! I got done at 4 and after taking a cold shower decided to take my dad up on his offer of a dinner out. Yummo! I brought home half for tomorrow nite. We had a great conversation and I got a few things decided.
I'll be keeping the paphut through the winter and will continue to pour sweat equity into it. I'll put it up for sale in the spring and look for a camper my car can realistically tow. I'm going to put as much work into my car as I can so I can keep it for a few years until I can truly afford an SUV or truck without going into a lot of additional debt. My dream is still to be a full time RVer but baby steps first.

OK i'm exhausted and have a very piggy house to clean tomorrow so I will say good nite and sweet dreams!

:l

[sdlovespackers]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

I just wanted to quick jump on here to wish CASSIA a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :bday6: I hope you had a fantastic day!!! (I will now go back and catch up on my reading!!):H
SD

[sdlovespackers]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Ok...finished...
Star--you talked about your friend and her drinking...how much drinking do you think she does daily and for how long has she been doing it?? I ask because, I often wonder how my father's body isn't worse (or even look worse) than it does. I'm not sure if exercising plus heavy drinking helps slow down the deterioration process??? I'm being serious...he drinks so much daily, and has for (30+) years...I can't believe it hasn't killed him yet...or he doesn't look way worse off!

Lav--your cooking/baking sounds amazing! I love to cook...but not so much bake, if that makes sense??? Probably because I don't really have a sweet tooth...not really into desserts--brownies, cakes, pies things like that. Chips and dip---OH YEAH!!!

Rusty--I've been online every night looking for a "new career". Honestly, or at least a job somewhere besides here!! I'm thinkin' if you ever want a partner (in whatever it is you do) :H I'm a very quick study!! Real people person, personality plus, great sense of humor, hardly EVER a PIA, LOVES the Packers...Ok you think about it...:thumbs::H

Pap3--Good for you for getting your lawn mowed today!! I sooooo should have!!! I have no excuse other than pure laziness!!!! My son is even with his dad today and tomorrow afternoon (and I won't do it tomorrow---football is on!!) (((sigh)) This is why my neighbor hates me!! LOL!!!

Jolie--I maybe missed this somewhere, but how old is your son?? Mine is 9 and this was his first year of tackle football...he LOVED it!!! He got to expend all his ADHD energy!!! HA!!!

Chill--I hope you are getting some much needed rest this weekend and are starting to feel better!!! Take care of yourself!! I've also noticed with this sober brain and sober thinking, I've also started making decisions that are best for me...not for everyone else or made up my mind out of guilt...you know what I mean??? I like it!!

Shelly--I REALLY hope you stop in tomorrow (SUNDAY!!) I want to give you a HUGE virtual HUG girl!!!! I'm happy!:l

Better go clean the bathroom and do some laundry...now I'm sad...HAHAHA!!! Big hellos to everyone I may have missed...have a wonderful rest of the weekend!!!
SD

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Good morning friends

Star - I'm so sad when I hear about your friend. It really makes me shudder and be thankful I found my way out. Does she live alone? It's so so hard to know what to do, I have a few friends I saw in Portugal last week, more acquaintances than close, but I was shocked at their appearance for the same reason. It's as if we get away with it for so many years then, wham! It hits us. I hate to imagine what's going on on the inside of the body when it's showing so much on the outside. Does she know you are AF? I was thinking back to before I quit and an ex addict friend was over one day and asked me about some bruises I had, she was very kind and just smiled and sort of joked with me that it was time I gave up the booze. I'd already had vague thoughts of quiting but her comments definitely helped nudge me along.

When we are in the comfort zone of our alcohol world although we'd love to be free, it's way to scary to think of venturing outside of it. Then there is a huge abyss we have to leap over to get to the other side. All in all it's a terrifying experience. Some people choose to wait till the cliff crumbles and they fall into the abyss instead and that can seem like the easier option. We can't tell anyone how to live but hopefully by living by example we can show some people that the leap is worth it.

Lav - is it Christening no.2 today?

Papmom - you sound in a good place and having some fun again. It is so heart warming to hear as I know you have been to hell and back. When we managed to work things through in our brains its a good feeling and I hope you are proud of how you have faced your issues and dealt with them the best you can :l.

SD - you sound like a really great zany person and I have an image of you as this little skinny girl with bags of energy rushing around all over the place! Guilt and worry are a couple of the most exhausting and over used emotions we can have. If we used the same amount of energy we give to them on thinking good thoughts we'd be a whole lot happier
Keep that sober brain in action.

I'm feeling so lazy and have no energy even after sleeping 8hrs straight. I'm going to go walk Elle and come back to bed with my coffee. Later I'm meeting my Sisters, they gave me some shopping vouchers for my Birthday and want to watch me spend them! It should be fun and I can't remember how many years it must be since we went shopping together!

Wishing you all a great Sunday......

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Good morning friends!!!

Yes, today is Will's christening day & I sure hope the rain holds off.
I just need to jump into the shower then I'll be on my way

SD, I told papmom this but you guys need to move near me. There are so many opportunities for jobs in education nearby. You don't have to go to work for Rusty :H Sorry Rusty :H

Rusty, hope your flight was a good one!

chill, apparently I have repaired any damage done to myself since I quit. I sat next to two men that I've known for 24 years (doctors) at the dinner Thursday evening & they both told me I looked good - real good
I am so grateful to be off that AL fueled merry-go-round!!!!

Have a great day one & all!

Lav

[Stargazerlily]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Good morning to all on this rainy Sunday....

About my friend. She started to drink daily about five or six years ago after a family tragedy. She has a teenager who has been traumatized by her drinking, but she is just starting to accept responsibility for it, mostly blaming the teen. As women, we are more greatly affected by alcohol, and sooner. I had an aunt who died after two years of daily drinking. Her liver was wasted, and she turned yellow, went into a coma and died. So, my friend, who has a huge family history of alcoholism, knows how bad it is, but is in denial. I agree with Chill, you have so much time to drink and then it goes bad, and quickly. None of the old folk I know drink heavily, if at all. the heavy drinkers die off young. She and I have had lots of talk about drinking, and I have told her about Mwo, but she is in too much denial. So, there you go.

Rusty, I can see my dad a few times a month till he goes to Florida for the winter, then I usually visit him once. I talk to him almost daily now. Actually, he is coming over today for the Bears game and I am making Roast, Green Bean Cassarole and Mashed Potatoes and Gravy, my favorite Sunday dinner in the colder weather. Wait, I like to make turkey, too. I just like to cook.

I felt really weak and sick yesterday, and finally was able to take a nap after hours of laundry, cleaning, and projects. I slept ten hours, and I really needed it. I love weekend where you can recharge and just take care of yourself.

Lav, have a lovely time at the christening.

SD, it is worth it to make changes, but it is stressful.

To all, have a good day.

[papmom3]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Star-set an extra place for dinner-maybe a few!! gosh it all sounds so good!

Lav-yes, pics please of the christening. We haven't seen any of Will in a while so anxious to see how much he's grown!! I wish I could move to your cow country-it would be so great not to have any committments or family holding me back but then it would be horrible not to have any family!! With my mortgage underwater (talked to my neighbor realtor yesterday and it seems my neighborhood has finally succumbed to all this crap) I guess I won't be going anywhere soon unless I want to walk from the house and ruin my credit. I'm not to that point yet. I will just try to fix the house up the way I want it now. I was waiting to fix it up for sale.

SD-definitely start seriously looking for a new job. Unless you want to confront your supervisor and are willing to hear what might be not so positive things (I can't imagine that and I'm sure you're projecting as I was with my friend), it will continue to be a toxic environment. Funny tho, things do have a way of working out without a discussion sometimes. Do you remember last March when my boss started totally ignoring me and did so for 4 months? I never did find out what was wrong and it was what spurred me to start looking even when he started talking to me again. he was still horrible to deal with most of the time. For the past couple of months he's been a normal person!! I swear he's in therapy and/or on meds because he has totally changed. I've also changed in my reaction and interactions with him. I've learned to shut my mouth and listen to what he is saying and then phrase any objections as a clarification question. We still have our moments but it's nothing like last year. Now my main complaint is the boredom. Now that all I do is data entry, I can't really ask for a promotion/raise based on all the extra things I used to do during the 2 implementations. So, while I don't feel the urgency to find a new job quickly, I will still continue looking.

Chill-you're still fighting off that virus so just take it easy and don't overdue. The vouchers and your Sisters will be there when you're feeling better!! You know, I am always so amazed at how insightful you are! I'm thinking maybe you should look into getting certified as a life coach. food for thought!!

Was up all night with horrible heartburn that the Maalox did not touch and I was all out of Previcid. Finally got up about 1/2 hour ago. It will be a slow day of cleaning and I will be happy with what I do get accomplished, even it it's just the kitchen and bedroom and some laundry. Skies look very threatening out there-would not be surprised if a T-storm or 2 came by.

Hope everyone has a great AF day and :l for anyone struggling.

Sped, LBH, Sooty, Cass-come out come out whereever you are!

[spedteach]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Morning everyone,
All this rain talk. I want some. Past few days have been cloudless and up in the eighties. Planted my fall garden, lettuce, spinach, turnips, collard greens. My tomato crop is in full swing, 12 to 15 tomatoes a day right now.
Going to a charity walk/run this morning to raise money for ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) research. A young man (boy!) my sons went to high school with is dying of this awful disease. He was an incredible athlete, soccer player in high school and college. Dying at age 28.
Have been doing gratitude lists all morning.

Chill, did you go to the Evangelical thing? AA is about as organized as I can handle when it comes to spirituality. For me it's such an individual thing, hate to be locked in or stuck on any one spiritual path.

Star and everyone who commented about the sadness of watching people die of alcoholism. Watched my younger sister die about 12 years ago. Wet brain, jaundice, cirrhosis. It seemed to progress really fast for her. I sometimes wonder how I'm still standing, healthy as I am, after all the abuse I've put my body through.

Lav, hope the christening goes well and that the rain holds off. Has your daughter moved yet?
Hey send more pictures of grandchildren so I can vicariously be a Nana.

SD, Ms. Football Queen, happy 99 days today, but who's counting??

Rusty, I want to go to France! Je parle le francais tres bien.

Pap, Jolie,,Rustop, Dew, everyone have a mellow Sunday.

[sdlovespackers]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Sped--WHAT?!? :what?::damn: Today isn't 100!!??! I demand a recount!!!:H
(i really did think today was our big day!)

SD

[Jolie]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Happy Sunday afternoon,

SD - my son is almost 27:H But I still miss those days when he played high school quarterback. What position does your son play? Are some of the parents impossible? That is something I definitely don't miss - the unruly parents

Went to church and almost embarassed myself by crying - don't know why but I'm kind of emotional right now with the wedding less than a week away. We provided the flowers on the altar at our church in honor of my son and our future DIL's wedding next week. Jeez - hope I don't cry next week!

Sped - that's so sad about your sons' friend - It's almost unbelievable to imagine someone dying from a disease at that age who was so active. I'm sure it makes you grateful for your own sons.

Papmom - sounds like you didn't get a whole lot of sleep - maybe take a little nap after all the cleaning? Hope the heartburn stays away tonight.

Star - can I come to dinner? Sounds delicious. I've got a pot of turkey chili on the stove waiting for my beloved Ravens to play at 4:00. I think that's so nice that you are having dinner with your dad and watching the game.

Lav - I imagine the rain held off (been sunny and hot as heck all day here). We will be waiting on those pics by the way

Chill - hope you have fun shopping with your sisters - what a great way to spend the day!

Okay guys - off to see what I can get into next before my game comes on. So happy and grateful to say that AL has not entered my mind this weekend at all. It would usually be my constant companion during football games but hey - maybe I will remember all the plays this time!

Seeing some of your posts here are real eye openers and actually very scary. I think a lot of us are in denial at times when we are drinking - I pray every day that I haven't done too much damage and that I will be able to heal and continue on with life - the way God meant it to be - ALCOHOL FREE!

(didn't mean to rhyme - just happened that way but what the heck!)

Have a great sober Sunday everyone!

[Cassia]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Hello all

I am here and alive and not drinking - just made in past nine months, celebrated my first wedding anniversary and turned 31! ARGH - in my thirties, so so sad. Thought I better check in to let you guys know everything is grand. I just had got zero spare time. Last week was a long week - working 10-12 hours every day, tax course on Saturday plus just trying to keep up with the housework, help my husband find a job. It's just all so much. I have no time for me and I am so tired all the time. Looks like there is an opening in my NYC office so I have asked to move there. It would save on the commute but the office is much bitchier. But I can also do so much more by being in the City. I don't know..kinda regretting asking now because of the fact that it is so aggressive and cold but still think it is the best place to get on if I can prove myself. Sorry, I am just rambling now.

I just wanted to pick up on what star shared earlier about her friend. It is definitely a quickier route to addiction for women not just because our bodies metabolize alcohol differently and we are physically smaller but also because we analyze everything and can quickly get caught in the mindset of an alcoholic - the shame, hiding things, guilt, depression. It's like a double whammy. My gran was teetotal and after my granda died, she turned to the drink and was dead in six years. It's just crazy. So well done us for getting rid of booze and all the crap that comes with it.

right - dinner needs sorted.

xx

[Doggygirl]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Hi fellow travelers...

Cassia, I noticed your post about passing the 9 month mark and also your birthday. Just wanted to say congratulations on both. You have certainly been through a lot of stress since you started your AF journey and have done such a good job managing lots of stuff and doing it sober.

I hope things get a little calmer for you soon, and also good wishes to DH on the job hunt.

DG