September Sanctuary-Week 3

[rustop59]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Good morning everyone

Just a quick stop by to wish you all a happy hump day.

Meeting a friend for coffee this morning and the school mass
is on which means I have to be back early. Somebody asked yesterday -
I still have one daughter at home.

I am actually enjoying being at home just catching up these days. I
had enough running around all summer.

Chill - Good to have you back. Hope you got to bed early and are feeling
rested. I am not surprised about the weather. The damp here just seems
to seep into your bones. I am sure you will make the right decision once the
water clears.

Everyone else happy hump day.

Rustop

[Stargazerlily]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Good morning to all...

Dewdrop, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Please take good care of yourself these days.

Chill, it is amazing that the weather has such an influence on aches and pains, but I also know it to be true. Really good to hear that you were offered a job and have options, just which one to choose. I agree with you wait and see decision, it is never good to make quick choices, but better to think it out and weigh all the options. Life is a gamble though.

Lav, we had such intense fog yesterday, it wasn't until afternoon that the sun came out. Glad you are enjoying Curves. I worked out yesterday with a body conditioning class and ache all over, but I needed it!!!

Still slow as molasses at work and I need to have balance, not too busy, but not too slow either. I am remaining positive and working towards solutions.

Sped, good to her you are getting your life back together after the DUI. AA is a support for you and that is wonderful, you are a great person and were truly missed.

[Jolie]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Happy Hump Day!

Chill - I'd like to add my happy birthday wishes to you! Hope the blues went away - we were all with you in spirit even though you were home alone. On my birthday, at some point in the day I always seem to get a little down - not sure why (AL maybe?). Looking forward to enjoying my birthday from now on with a clear head and with some positive feelings.

Woke up not feeling great today. Woke up around 3 am thinking I heard a baby crying. Now I really think I heard something because the cat jumped off the bed at the same time! Have a slight sore throat and a headache - a normal headache!!! (not one that's alcohol-induced). So I am just dealing with it and thinking how odd it is that I'm so happy that this headache is just a normal one (weird - right?) It will go away sooner or later.

Rustop - I remember when my kids were younger and into sports - seems like all we did was go from one event to another! It is kind of nice to settle down and get back into that routine again.

Work is going to be crazy for a while as there were 3 of us in my job class and one of our co-workers just turned in her resignation. Until a replacement is hired, it's going to be very busy around here - but that's not a bad thing (at least for a little while).

Lav, SD, Pap, Chill, Star, Tawney, Dew, Rusty - hope you are are off to a great start on this next to last day of summer (in my neck of the woods)!

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Happy Hump Day to everyone!!!!

Where is the sun anyway
Jolie, I don't know about you but the combo of seasonal allergies & borderline damp weather always cause my headaches, yuck! I know I heard babies crying last night while I was sleeping because the grandkids were all here crying yesterday & the noise was just stuck in my brain :H

Star, the Curves circuit seems almost too easy for me........
I don't have any muscle aches after my workouts yet I've noticed my flexibility has increased & that's a good thing. I think the 15 sec of cardio between the weight machines is definitely behind the sweat factor for me :H I hope things level out for you at work.

Rustop, don't let the dampness get to you
I'd really love to visit Ireland again......someday.

Hello SD, papmom, Chill, Dewdrop & everyone. Have a great AF Wednesday one & all!

Keep forgetting to mention - I had a PM from Sooty on the 16th! She is OK & looking forward to getting back on the thread very soon. Have missed our Bus Driver :l

Lav

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Evening my friends
Thanks for all the Birthday wishes.
I finally had the chance to read back, you guys have been busy!

Rusty - Your PIA Client! Aaaarrrgh he made my blood boil......

Papmom - Your road trip! Wow what a long journey, you couldnt drive that far in th UK or you'd be in the sea. :H
Have you started your PT job yet? Im in awe of you for taking this on.

Lav - Lily! OMG she is like a pear's soap baby..... absolutely adorable.

Dewdrop - You have been in my thoughts particularly today and I think you are an incredible person to be coping the way you are after your own illness and now with bereavement. I hope you have support, I remember you mentioning a close friend who helped you through your treatment and I hope she is around for you at the moment. Please know we are all here too and care very much.

Back to work today amid stormy torrents of rain.... yuk! My sunny paradise seems a distant memory already. :upset:

I hit a real rock bottom last night and found myself googling "ways to commit suicide" God there is nothing you cant learn from the internet! The funny part is of course the people reporting back had all failed in their attempts. I was also suprised to learn that only 2% of people opt for drowning which has always been a fav of mine. I always thought loaded with pills and booze a swim in the ocean would be the ideal option. Anyway, I was only allowing thoughts to pass and was never for a minute being serious about it.

With all my heart I want to be in Portugal. One day I went out to the meadow where i used to walk with Elle and I sat in the middle of it for 2 hours and sobbed. I asked God to help me which is the 1st time since I begged for guidance to get sober almost 2 years ago. I have never felt anywhere was "home" the way I felt when I was there. I knew it wasnt going to be easy but it was 10 times harder than Id expected.

My dear McNotso then offered me a job! He really is full of suprises and it wasnt with any ulterior motive other than friendship as he is now in a relationship and happy. The job is something I would really like to do and which would give me a great opportunity to learn something new which could then lead to much more. However, he needs someone to start very soon and as much as Id love to jump on the next plane back there, I cant. Or I wont. Its just not the right thing to do despite how much my heart wants to.

I have no money to go back, no home and I have paid for all my belongings to be brought over here. I am due to sign my lease next week for my new rental and although I could walk away right now that doesnt feel right either, the landlord has been fair and decent and is fixing a few things up for me before I move in. I could give a months notice to my job and leave but that also doesnt feel right. My Parents love having me here and although I know I have to live my own life, I at least owe them to stay a bit longer. The winter will be harsh especially now I know my arthritis pain is non existent over there. The next 6 months are going to be crucial in knowing how the financial situation is with my ex and whether anything can be salvaged. I also have the chance to lay very low and save like crazy!

If I still want to go back by spring then at least I will have money for shipping. The job opportunity will be gone but maybe there will be others. Maybe it needs to be a longer term plan and maybe I need to gain as much experience over here as I can. Maybe I wont go..... All I know is that despite wanting to be there, something doesnt feel right about running back. Im sad about that but I have allowed my emotions to settle down over the last 24 hours and one thing I have truly learned, is to trust my gut instincts.

Sorry to have rambled on but it helps to see it in writing......

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Chill :l

We all know there is no such thing as a quick fix for life's problems. Suicide IMHO is the ultimate selfish act! I have witnessed what that does to families

I would love to have complete control over what comes next in my life but that's not going to happen. I have decided to take the one day at a time route, enjoy what I have & not worry about the rest. I keep rereading The Power of Now for a reason
Try to live small for a while & save what you can, that's pretty much what I have been doing. No vacations, no unecessary spending (except for grandkid stuff). I have to remind myself daily that things could be a whole lot worse. I will survive & you will too

[Jolie]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Chill,

I can always count on you to lift my spirits when I'm feeling down - hope you will let us do the same for you. Know that so many of your friends here are thinking of you and hoping that brighter days are yet to come!

Left work a little early - still not feeling well - hope it's not some kind of a bug. Getting ready to drink some sleepy time tea and hopefully will take a nap but setting my alarm for 8:00 when my favorite shows are back for a new season. Happy to see that Modern Family won so many awards this year - it's my absolute favorite show. Chill - wish you had this show where you are - I know you would be laughing your butt off - it's hilarious!

Take care all.

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Hope you wake up feeling better Jolie. Tis the season of viral maladies - yuck

[rustop59]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Good morning everyone

Big cyber hugs for Chill. My heart went out to you when reading your post. I am so glad that you are able to come here and share with us. Wish I could give you some wonderful advice but I do agree that following our gut instinct never leads us astray.

Life is full of ups and downs. Maybe it is best that we dont know what is ahead of us.

I am in re-organising mode. Have been cleaning out closets, fridges etc. Certain satisfaction to be got from it.

Nothing planned for the week-end. I think hubby has his last fishing week-end away before the season ends. My daughter came home last Sunday and had a Mammy dinner. It's nice that she is so close that we can see her. I laughed when I read Rusty's assessment of our relationship. You should hear some of the blow ups we have had. She is a real drama queen. Must admit I dont miss it.

Hope everyone has a great AF week-end.

Rustop

[Stargazerlily]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Good morning to all...

I was exploring on MWO and found a thread with much drama and conflict and thought...so glad I found this thread. We are so supportive and nonjudgemental, allowing each one of us to find our way out our own way. I understand that people are very ill, but to blame and point fingers is such a waste of time. I guess I am saying that I appreciate each and everyone of you and your honesty and willingness to talk about difficult things. The fact that Sped, Jolie, and SD care back after a hard time speaks volumes to me. We are all on a journey and have our own special circumstances. I realize that there is not just one way to do things, so none of us are rigid.

Chill, I have wanted to move to Florida for six years, but for family and money reasons, have not done so. I too dread the winter, the cold and snow, the aching and actually frightening times of driving and being unsafe. But, it is just not the right time, so I know what you mean. Being around parents is so important, they will not be here forever, and I have to say that I have no regrets being around my mother in the last years of her life. It was one of the most meaningful times for me, and if I lived away, it would not have been the same. So, I understand where you are coming from and will support you in all your decisions. I agree that to do back and forth would be unsettling, but that winter weather, and lack of warmth is hard to get used to. Thanks for sharing so much with us.

Lav, I am trying to do what you said, lay low, spend little, and appreciate every day and all I have.

Rustop, my daughter is a drama queen too, and I love it, but like that the drama no longer plays out in my home!!!

I have a busy day today, will get home about 8 o'clock, then have plans to visit my Dad tomorrow, and he lives a few hours away, so lots of traveling. I have been very good this week with eating healthy, felt better for a few days, but darn it, woke up today with hot flashes, will it never end!!

To all, have a great AF day.

[Lavande]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Good morning friends,

Star, my hot flash alarm woke me up as well this morning despite all the efforts to put a stop to them. At this point I just have to remind myself that it doesn't really matter & I'm happy to be alive

Clouds & rain showers have settled in for up to a week - I am not grateful for that

I think all of our daughters are drama queens at one time or another :H
I suppose we were too back in the really old days :H

Rustop, I hope to get some more organizing & tossing of things done myself. I need to donate half the contents of my closet - stuff I just don't wear anymore.

I have some work this morning, babysitting this afternoon then out of here at 5 pm for a retirement dinner for two former coworkers. They are both non-drinkers so I'm not overly concerned

Have a great AF Thursday!

Lav

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Happy Thursday Guys

Ok my pity party is over and im wearing my biggest BGP's today! :grannypants:

Star I too am so grateful for everyone on this thread, you truly are my friends and for those who share my beliefs in the afterlife, just think how great it will be when we finally get to meet up! :banana::band2::hug::rockband:

Im keeping myself busy adding up how much I can save if I live frugally all winter. I found out my new landlord is putting in a brand new heating boiler to my new place as the old one was less efficient. He sounds like I really good guy and Im glad I didnt pull out and leave him in the lurch.

Lav - thanks again for the reminder of Eckhart, I have been drawing on much of his philosophy especially about being the observer of our lives. He also wrote a great little book called "Stillness Speaks" and thats where Im trying to be right now, within that stillness.

For anyone who uses facebook I have just been left in charge of The Dr Wayne Dyer Fan Club group so please feel free to join.

[Jolie]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Quick check in for me today - work is kicking my butt!

Feel better - must have been a bug.

Hope everyone is having a great AF Thursday!

[Dewdrop]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

All good from Dewdrop?s world, and I?ve scanned the posts very quickly. Lav I just loved the photo of Lily isn?t she just adorable and such a beauty. Papmom 3 I am so happy for you with the part time job but I still worry about you, you are not posting as much as you used to and maybe you are too busy these days, however I think of you often :l Star I feel the same about you, I sense that you are not in the best of places (but maybe I?m wrong) and I look for your posts and I am concerned and want you to know I care about you too :l

Chill what a roller coaster of emotions you have been through but you are (of course) doing the right thing and letting the dust settle before making any decisions. Are you jointly liable for the 2.5 million euros you both owe in Portugal? That in itself must be a heavy load to bear, and can you go back to Portugal to live if you have that debt hanging over you? I know in Britain you can declare yourself bankrupt but I?m not sure of the situation abroad. I know this must be a terrible situation to be in but to be honest I?m not sure how to respond to your thoughts on suicide, it?s such a tragic waste of life and yet I know you wouldn?t be flippant about such a serious situation so I guess it?s real for you. All I hope is that you will find a way through because you always do and to be honest you always come back better and stronger than before. We all have our struggles in life and many of us have had them on this thread but life goes on and we always manage one way or another. I must admit I have never been on facebook so although I have an dea of what it's all about I really don't want to be involved however I can see how it attracts many.

I?m feeling quite flat this week but to be expected I guess, I?m off for a few days tomorrow with a friend hill walking. Well, that?s weather dependant but we will stop off in a few B&B?s and just relax, I?m taking my kindle and plan on meditating a couple of times each day, I?m struggling with my meditation at the moment. It?s a very windy evening tonight and the tiles are lifting off the roof, my bedroom is in the eaves of the cottage and it?s quite cosy but noisy, it?s also raining so big fat splats are raining down on the velux windows. I?m in bed early because it?s been one of those days, one of those weeks and actually a pretty awful summer so I got home from work and put my jammies on and pulled on my biggest, fluffiest dressing gown. I?ve had a big bowl of ice cream (again) which has to stop or I?ll be like a beached whale soon. Hopefully the hill walking will give me a bit of motivation and my mojo back, and also let me lose some weight !!

Take care guys and I'll see you when I get back.

Dewdrop :h

[Chillgirl]

September Sanctuary-Week 3

Evening guys

Dewdrop - Compared to what you have been through I have nothing to complain about. Tuesday was just too much for me, I should never have planned to travel back on my birthday, I was too emotional and to end up alone in my wee flat that evening with everything going round in my head was bad planning. I knew I just had to get that day over with and I would be ok, which i was. "And this too shall pass...." I think I must have used that phrase more than any other in the last couple of years.

The weather has been appauling and last night when I took Elle for her last walk the rain was coming down horizontally, we were soaked in seconds. I cant believe people in the west of Scotland choose to live on the Coast. Im only moving about a mile in land but I cant wait to get away from the prevailing winds. I hope you get some dry weather for your hill walking, getting out in nature is nourishing. Some reading and meditation also sound like a good move, sometimes when we are out of our routine getting away and meditatiing in a different environment I have found works well.

Yes Im jointly liable and bankrupcy could be an option. The debt is spread over 3 properties, most of it being in one villa. The bank are now repossessing that one and my ex actually thinks this is a good thing as it should sell for more than enough to cover the debt, if indeed they can find a buyer.

Tonight I am exhausted and im now going to crawl into my lovely bed and read my book as the wind rattles the windows.

A shout out for Papmom......please check in