Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

[retteacher]

Everyone: I hope all is well. I've been busy...we're going to Italy the first 2 weeks of Nov. & are planning the trip.

I'm keeping up w/my AA responsibilities as well: going to meetings & my goal this week is to get started on step 4.

Last night's story sparked a discussion about resentments. I can't remember where I read/heard this, but the root of the word resentment is from the Greek/Latin "to feel again." That's just what a resentment is: constantly recycling a particular grievance toward someone. The story suggested praying for the person.

Also in the story was the concept of HOW: honesty, openness, & willingness. The acronyms of AA are so succinct. They are excellent learning tools. When I see them in print or hear them, I remember all over again how simple (but not easy) this program is.

My sponsor is going through the preliminaries of diagnosis of lung cancer. We should be getting the treatment plan this week. She's a long-time AA member & has been using her AA tools. They're standing her in very good stead for the coming weeks.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

Catch: I just read your post from last week's AA thread. Sobriety really does change the way we approach life. There are no escapes from life...just working through. I'm not sure if this relates, but something similar happened on Sat. I had a brief argument w/my husb. We discussed the issue throughout the day & pretty much settled it. However, I did stew about it during the day. I knew from experience that I would eventually get over it, but I had to put in some time thinking about it & discussing it w/my husb. Sat. night we were scheduled to go to our dinner club. There's moderate drinking there, but I've been fine w/that. However, w/the disagreement on my mind, I thought about how easy it would be to change my mood w/a little sangria. Of course, I knew that a little would never do for me. I eventually worked it out within myself & of course didn't have any wine. However, that's what I would have done in the past. Alcohol is mood-altering. Instead of working through a mood, I just obliterated it w/alcohol. My husb & I have gotten past this, but there's always going to be something that comes up from time to time. For me it's all about feeling my feelings & working through them.

Anyone who might be lurking: Please don't hesitate to jump in w/comments or questions. You don't have to be an AA member to contribute to this thread. It would be difficult to hear from people who are trying to moderate, as I've been there/done that...didn't work for me. But, if sobriety is a goal for you, we'd love to see your thoughts.

mary

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

Good Morning, All!!!!

Thanks for starting this thread each week, Mary.

Catch & Mary, I really appreciate your input on dealing with life rather than just escaping it. I would have to say that has been my biggest challenge. Trying to resolve situations and emotions at the time they happen is like a foreign language to me. I have always lived with my head in the sand (and then later my head in the bottle) instead of facing things. I am grateful to be learning these tools. As hard as it can be at times, it really feels good to deal with life as it happens.

Not dealing with issues and emotions has been directly linked to resentments and then to alot of self-pity for me. When I became Honest, Open-minded, and Willing to admit to this, I think that was when alot of the healing started happening for me. I am sure this will be a constant struggle for me for quite some time, but I feel that I am making forward progress.

Special prayers out to Catch's friend, Mary's sponsor and anyone else going through tough times.

Have a super day!!!!

HG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

HG: "Head in a bottle" is the perfect way of putting it. I'm still in the beginning stages of learning how to deal w/feelings/issues. It's not always in the most timely manner, but eventually I do deal. I've been giving myself time to process the feelings & what I want to say/do. M

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

Hi Everyone,
Am not going to be able to post too much today, just want to say i always get a lot out of this AA Thread.
Thanks for your prayers :l I got to see my friend last night with his sister, come home late. This morning his sister fone me to say he died at 2.30 early hours today. Feeling so :upset: but i know he is with his mum now, you see his mum died on his birthday in april and he wanted to died on his b/day, I manage to get him going to some group meetings. He knew he was on his way out. He had stop drinking vodka for a very long time ( a few years i think) and only drank cider(white lightening) his tolerance was reverse he could not hold too much alcohol inside him any more. I just cant believe how many people have died this year that i know...:upset::upset:

Take care ALL.:h

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

Catch I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I'm sure your caring meant a lot to him. So many late stage alcoholics are just rejected by society and the medical system, etc. and have nobody. You are a wonderful human being Catch. :l

HG - I can really appreciate your comments about resentments----->self pity. Oh boy did I play that game for years. It sure backfired though. At least in my world, the people around me NEVER wanted to play my self pity games with me. And yet I tried over and over and over. I just ended up being angry and resentful so much of the time - and it was completely unecessary. Happiness is a choice and I'm glad to be making better choices today with the help of AA.

Mary, I am saying a prayer for your sponsor. Drinking and smoking go hand in hand for so many (they sure did for me) so lots of smokers in AA. Step Coach died of lung cancer and even in my short tenure at AA I also know others who are being treated for lung cancer. It's very hard to watch. That is also a difficult addiction to break.

I had so much fun at the rally 'round recovery on Saturday. I knew lots of people there who are in recovery (some AA, some not), several folks in the treatment community, and also some of the politicians. And met a LOT of new people. I feel energized - it was great feeling like I'm where I belong. I have my first mid term today in almost 30 years. :egad: I can't wait to get to the part where I'm seeking my internship!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

Last night's speaker: really great! He was a so-called "high-bottomed" drunk, as was I. What drove him to AA was: the guilt, remorse, & shame...same for me. He ended losing his 30 year marriage in sobriety...his wife just couldn't understand the constant need for AA & refused to go to Alanon.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

Mary, it's too bad that guy lost his marriage. Bottom line is that I am a very different kind of person to be around sober than I was drunk. I think that is true for lots of us. I can see how sometimes, the new and different sober "us" might not work out for our spouses. I am grateful that my own marriage is much better with me sober, and that my husband likes me more this way. He is very supportive of me doing whatever is necessary to maintain the "new me." What a blessing. Thank you for the reminder that it's not always that way.

I already have a monumental soft spot in my heart for my new sponsee. I got to spend some time with her today. She is working and trying so hard to not only stay clean and sober but to find relief from bipolar and schizophrenia. She is 6 months pregnant which severely limits her options in terms of medications. I am already so proud of her for just trying. I hope she finds added support in AA that just adds to what her counselors and other professionals are able to do for her.

Sponsees are a blessing. I just can't say that enough.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

I too am grateful that my husb has been so supportive of AA & of my sobriety. I am different in that while I was drinking, I was so full of shame, I'd do anything to get along & keep my drinking hidden. Now, I get to stand up for myself at times, & that's an adjustment he's had to make. Many more issues get discussed & come out in the open.

Take care everyone.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

Mary, even though my drinking wasn't really "hidden" from my husband (he knew I was an alkie before I did LOL) I still operated with guilt and shame in my marriage. So I didn't always stand up for myself and he got used to being able to "bully" (not physically) for his way. Things are not like that any more now that I am sober and getting well. I DO stand up for myself and am learning how to do that in a constructive way. So he doesn't get away with so much now. He will sometimes say "I've just been AA'd, haven't I." :H:H

I am concerned about my new sponsee. She is having some struggles with her anti-psychotic meds and I was able to ask my teacher today about what she said she is doing. It's not good. I need to get some advice from my sponsor. I'm really glad we have multiple minds to talk things out with. It helps us help each other and help ourselves.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

DG: That sense of community is what is unique about AA. We're not in this alone, either w/our sobriety or w/our sponsoring. When we do try to go it alone is when we start to have problems.

I love how your husb put it: "I've been AAed." It's so much easier not to deal w/things & numb out w/alcohol. However, it all catches up w/us in the end. I'm so glad I don't have to do that any more. I'm learning to deal w/issues as they come up. It's not always in the moment, as I'm a "thinker." I have to think things through. But eventually, I get to it.

Today we're having some spagetti & meatballs early w/some AA friends. Then we're going to a meeting. My kind of evening.

M

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Sept. 19 - Sept. 25

Hi everyone. Went to a speaker meeting this morning. I haven't been to that many speaker meetings lately, and I'm glad I went to this one. A guy who is a few years younger than me, but has been sober for 21 years was the speaker. We have talked here before about how sometimes the elvator goes down fast and sometimes slow. My ride was slow but his was fast. He was a hard core marine and some things like that which are nothing like me. However our bottoms were the same. He reached a point where he saw no way out other than suicide. That's where I found my bottom too - just later in life than him. Amazing how I can listen to anyone's story, and I KNOW there will always be things we have in common.

One of his key points was how quitting drinking is just the beginning. That was true for me too. I am benefiting immensely learning a new way to live and and a new way to think.

Had a nice chat after with a woman who is new to the program. I really enjoy expanding my network of sober friends.

Hope everyone here is having a good weekend.

DG