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Saturday, December 23

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    Saturday, December 23

    Good Morning Absville,

    Yes, it is 3:15 am thank you. I suppose I slept in too late today, so I am staying up all night in order to force myself to sleep tonight. This gives me ample time to upload snippets of one of Happy Camper's Christmas presents (only small pieces mind you, one at a time) as my avatar. Felix is hungry and needs to eat. Given my ample vacation and lack of drinking, I have decided this is a good use of my time.

    Also, I am going to walk down to the Main Street in my little town and take a picture of the lopsided Christmas tree and maybe even the sunrise, which has been so beautiful as of late. Somehow this sunrise is not so pretty off my deck - bisected,trisected, or octogonsected by mulitple wires for who knows what. With so many wires I am not sure why my fuses blow every week?

    Today is Day 7 AF. Almost drank last night. I was really itching to go to the store. In fact, I was pacing in my office and half paying attention to chat when I announced that I was thinking about going to the store and that maybe would I slip. If it had not been for some chat buddies (you know who you are), I might have caved and gone to the "dirty" party store. I apologize Ducky for even speaking out loud of those thoughts ... since I knew I was unlikely to carry them out and you are kind of in sensitive spot right now. That will not happen again. Thank you all for talking me down from my craziness. Honestly, the worst craving I have had since starting abs with slips again. I felt like caged animal.

    So, I am wishing everyone a peaceful day in absville. Ducky, please take time to read your Alan Carr book. I hope everyone takes some time to pull back from the hectic nature of these days and try to destress a bit ... without any of the elixir.


    Hugs,
    Pansy

    #2
    Saturday, December 23

    Hey Pansy,

    Congratulations on not going to the store for the booze. You are stronger now for making that choice. It is like exercise to overcome this monkey on our back.

    Thanks for the reminder about re-reading the Alan Carr book, Quit Drinking the Easy Way. It was so helpful the first time I read it and I need all the ammunition I can have going into Christmas. I think it was either Mike or Neil on the boards who indicated their mantra is "It is not an option." I concur. I keep telling myself it is not an option to drink, not now, not ever. Yes, it is scary to type that. It is scary to say I am an ex-drinker because I may fail. But alcohol does destroy lives. None of us are on the boards here because alcohol has improved the quality of our lives. Alcohol prevents us from living up to our potential. Alcohol prevents ME from living up to my potential. And it makes my liver unhappy. And my brain. And my body. And my friends and family, on occassion. And I have spent a stupid fortune on the poison. I hesitate to call it an elixir. I want more from and for myself. Alcohol destroys the quality of my health. Nothing is more important to me than my health- of mind, body, and spirit.

    Sorry to ramble. This abs thing is new to me and I just need to type all of the above as a reminder as to why I wanted to cut back, which has led to wanting to quit all together.

    We can all win this battle with ourselves. I encourage us all to keep our chins up. Stay positive. Believe it CAN be accomplished. Make choices we can feel proud of, as Pansy did last nite.

    Be well my friends. The new year is soon approaching. We can all make 2007 better than 2006. It is a matter of choice.

    With love and respect of all @ MWO.

    xoxo
    lucky

    Comment


      #3
      Saturday, December 23

      Hi Lucky and Pansy and those to follow. You guys are doing great! I wish we all could meet for a face to face but at least through the wonder of the internet we can meet here. Pansy, I never thought of going on chat when I want that glass of wine. I've been to chat a couple times many months ago. I think I was drinking my wine there otherwise I would not have gone. I tend to isolate, even on the computer. :upset:
      Anyway.....maybe I'll try that.

      And Lucky....now I have to catch up with you again. I suppose it is the demon saying "You might as well wait until the holidays are over now. You have to start at day one again and might as well wait. Finish that box of Chard in the fridge. Don't let it go to waste. You only drink 3-4 glasses anyway." AHHHH! SHUT UP (I need to say speaking to my demon)! As you said, this is not an option. It isn't.

      Will someone please tell me not to wait? Someone tell me to start day one again TODAY! I can do this. I've done difficult things in my life. I can do this. Yes....I"m talking to myself. LOL.

      Maggie

      Comment


        #4
        Saturday, December 23

        START TODAY, MAGGIE. YOU CAN DO IT!
        AF as of August 5th, 2012

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          #5
          Saturday, December 23

          Maggie, give yourself the gift of starting today...what a load off not to carry the choices and decisions of alcohol through the holidays..think of the freedom you'll have to enjoy the moments, the real spirit..and if you hear that small voice, just tell it, 'no thank you very much'..and leave it at that!
          d

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            #6
            Saturday, December 23

            Pansy and Lucky, I'm so glad to see you are here and doing well. Yes -- I read the Allen Carr book and it helped me TREMENDOUSLY in terms of my thinking about alcohol. It helped me to see it for what it truly is -- a foul, toxic addictive drug, rather than something attractive in any way. It helped me to reprogram my brain so that whenever the cravings would hit, I had some cognitive strategies to fight back with. And when the cravings got strong, I used the mantra "Not an option, not an option" until I could distract myself with something else. Keep on going, and good luck to you.

            Maggie, hello and welcome to you.... I haven't been in the monthly forum for a while so I'll go ahead and say welcome even if you've been here for a while! I'll use the words of one of my favorite songs from Rent: There's no day but today....

            Hi Di and Kathy, it's always great to see you two, whether it's here or in the Long-Term Abs forum.

            I just wanted to pop round Absville and say Happy Holidays to all. I will be traveling for the next couple of weeks so I'm not sure how often I'll be on the board... Hopefully I can find an internet cafe or a coffee house where I can get online with my laptop, and get my MWO fix!

            Take care, be well, and hang in there, one sober day at a time.

            Love to all,

            Mike
            "Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance." -- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

            Comment


              #7
              Saturday, December 23

              Hi Maggie
              Don't wait. Make today Day1. You will be glad that you did.

              Comment


                #8
                Saturday, December 23

                Lucky's Post

                Lucky,

                Your post this morning resonated with me, especially these two sentences:
                >>None of us are on the boards here because alcohol has improved the quality of our lives. Alcohol prevents us from living up to our potential

                Comment


                  #9
                  Saturday, December 23

                  Maggie,

                  I do understand the difficulty of the decison to start Camrpal either now or after the holidays. I am as ready to be healthier NOW as I will ever be. And, I figure if I can get through Christmas without a drink, the rest of the year will seem easy- well, easier. That is my thought process. All we have is NOW. There is no assurance of a tomorrow.

                  Christmas will not be easy for me but it will be the 5th day of Campral, the day it should kick in. I will have a full house of difficult and spirited people for @ least 2 days. Political and ethical differences are bound to be expressed in enthusiastic ways. A family member who cannot attend is sending a very good bottle of vino and thinks she is doing me a favor. I am close enough to all the people attending to where I cannot say and be believed that I have been sick and on a med that does not permit alcohol use. I think it is so sweet this bottle of wine is being sent that I don't want to rain on the parade. May have someone pour me a glass and take it to the bathroom and dump it. Have not figured it out. But I DO NOT want to go back to Day 1 of Campral. And I refuse to be the one who opens the bottle and pours the poison for everyone. Alcohol does delude us in many ways.

                  Some may think I am becoming very rigid about alcohol. It is true. For me, I cannot tolerate it touching my lips. I have to have a new way of thinking about it. Just a little bit is NOT OK for me. Moderation @ one time seemed like the ideal- but pure utopia. To think I could reach that ideal is ridiculous- for me. It would be like me winning a gold medal @ the Olympics- not going to happen. And there are many non-alcoholic drinks and fruits with the same heart and health benefits.

                  The other night I dreamt I had baby, which is also as unlikely in real life as that Olympic Gold. It was a super intense dream where I went through the pain of labor and the breathing and everything. In the end, I had a smiling baby. The smile was huge and made me so happy the sex of the baby did not matter. I am not a dream interpreter but this one seems pretty easy to figure out. I am giving birth to my new life that will make me smile. I cherish the dream. I think I had it the first night of taking Campral.

                  Sorry to write a book-

                  My best to everyone here. May we all live up to our potential.

                  xoxox,
                  lucky

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Saturday, December 23

                    Dearest Ducky,

                    Please know that whatever you have to do to maintain your abs is going to be supported by those who love you. Maybe some will think that you are becoming a rigid thinker about alcohol - that's okay. Your new way of thinking should not be a problem and should be respected if that is what you need to do. You will always have my support in whatever you need to do to be healthy.

                    I like your dream and agree that it is one to cherish. Hugs Ducky and many smooches.

                    xoxox,
                    Pansy

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Saturday, December 23

                      Not to barge in rudely or anything but Pansy, what exactly is your avatar? It scares me....I miss Felix.....hope you get some sleep soon........xoxo
                      I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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                        #12
                        Saturday, December 23

                        Thanks Pansy- you, among others here, are in my grouping of favorite people.

                        What on earth is your new avatar? I looks like a black jelly belly on beige carpet.

                        Off to be a mall rat today and do some last minute shopping.

                        xoxoxo,
                        lucky

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Saturday, December 23

                          Lucky,

                          Cherish that dream!

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Saturday, December 23

                            Not to barge in rudely or anything myself, but Pansy's avatar looks like a mole on someone's skin.
                            Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Saturday, December 23

                              I think it's an olive on a dish of Hummus!!!!!
                              Lucky...I think the dream is definitely a positive!...I think it really shows how those messages you're giving yourself re: the abstaining are working their way down the convoluted avenues of the grey matter and getting firmly stuck in....and of course...I AM sigmund freud, so I obviously know exactly what I am talking about....Here's to that olympic gold......!!!!!!! xoxo

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