AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

[universal]

Morning abbers!

My hubby is getting worried about me because I am always asleep at like 9:30 -10. And I'm always in my bedroom - however my bedroom is my safe place and most of the time I am up there doing homework or reading. I don't know, I just feel comfortable up there to do the work my therapist has me doing - sometimes it's tough work and mentally exhausting.

Today is rainy and miserable here again. However I am determined to get some stuff done. I want to go to a meeting and begin an assignment for the course I am taking. Put some laundry away (it never seems to end!) and just try to feel a bit organized for a change. Maybe work out later.

We'll see how the day goes.

I'll check in later.

Love and hugs,
Uni

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Good morning Uni & all Abbers!

The sun is just starting to show up - thank goodness!
We've had such a long stretch of dark, damp depressing weather.

Uni, having a safe place to go is fine provided you do emerge once in a while & interact with the family. YB spent years hiding in his man cave until that wasn't enough & now he's hiding 20 minutes away in another state!! I hope you have a productive day today

Speaking of YB, he will be here later to cut grass & it happens to be his BD. What to do? What to do? I'm sure as hell not buying him a gift but I will offer him a meaball sandwich :H
I will be watching the grandsons tonight so maybe he can spend a few minutes with them

OK, time to get massive amounts of work done. Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!

Lav

[Nursie]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Good morning all my new friends! Mmmm I want a meatball sandwich too! Uni, I can relate to wanting to have a sanctuary of sorts. You are healing and getting to know yourself sober. As Lav said, try and venture out as well. Being out and about sober feels raw and vulnerable to me but at the same time it's like a sort of rebirth.

Today is just another day in Nursie land, work is full of meetings and flu shots today. And meetings about the meetings. It feels good to be productive and be able to follow through on things.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Fly by!

Nursie, loved your post yesterday. You're doing great and it's a thrill to watch you enjoy it.

Uni, I think it's lovely that you have a "nest". Hubby probably feels left out and just needs reassurances. It must be hard for him being on the other side of things.

Lav, interesting that YB picks his BD to come mow. Might be a good time to go to curves.

Off into an AF day!

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Happy AF Tuesday ABlanders!

on the road again, zoom zoom

be well

[Kaslo]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Good morning Fabadonkadonks!!!
Pouring rain here. At last. Its been hot and dry for two months.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Uni, please dont take this like I am picking on you, but I am concerned. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that spending most of your day in your room, which means in bed or on the bed, usually, is possibly an indication of being unwell if not tad unhealthy? If you find what your therapists asks you to do exhausting, to the point that you must rest all the time, and you have headaches and are fatiqued....but occassionally have some energy, the reality of this is a little disturbing, and I know you probably think I am picking on you, but I had a sister who was in total denial about her depression, and I wish she had seen more qualified medical personnel than a therapist. I really think you need to see a Doctor, and explain this pattern because yeah, the odd day in bed when you feel crappy, is like an oasis, but after a day it gets really old, and isolating....people should have active lives with work, friends, fun, outdoors, family, etc. You also seem to want us to confirm that being isolated in your room is ok, because its worrying your hub, and I can see why. He is probably terrified that you have debilitating depression, and I guess, well, I am worried a bit about that.

I could be completely all wet, and I am certainly not your doc, and my job like everyone one else on here is to provide support a, nd encourgement positive feedback. (and I believe its also an ass whooping if its in order, but please dont take this as an asswhooping, its more of a peek in the door and a question, dont you want to get outside, or go to the library, or coffee shop, or visit a friend, or do a dinner party for fam, or what ever??? I love what this site has done for me, the people here, etc but I just see a scary pattern of self absorption, lethargy and physical symptoms of depression, plus denial about being unwell, that is so common in people grappling with more than just AL recovery. Maybe ALSO I missed something, maybe I missed the posts where you have had your blood tests and you know you are not D deficient etc, seasonal affected disorder, etc.

Anyway, Im probably banned now for not playing ball with you Uni, but I think you need some big guns in the health help department. Something is not right in this pattern.

Greenie, have a great day....what happened with the flash from the past? Hmmm?

Nursie, really glad you are getting your mojo. it feels great doesnt it?!

Lav, I meant to answer your Q re spaetzle, it was great, but I never thought of putting some whole wheat in and I bet it would make it REALLY great. I dont make it very often because its such a pain and makes a mess! Re YB, give him your fondest regards! The poor guy sounds like his life is a mess. And he can t move on...and yet he cant move back. I feel kinda sorry for him.

Everyone else coming up, have a great AF day. One thing is for sure...


Kaslo

[sunshine_gg]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Morning Aberlons!

Uni, I can really relate to the 'safe space'.. and I think Greenie may be right. Hubby may need some reassurance that he's still important.

Lav, meatball sandwich sounds great.. hope he does a good job for you! :H Have fun with the wee ones tonight... I'll be picking peanut and mummy up on Saturday.

Nursie.. had to laugh at the meetings about the meetings. I remember those days. But I don't miss them much

Hola Greenie! What? No gardening in the robe today? And Hello, zooming Det! Drive careful!

Well, SIL called and she's not leaving today as planned.. got a call back for an interview this afternoon.. hopefully she'll get the job. She's SO due for good news. Anywho, that gives me another day to get myself organized here. Very well. I was afraid I may have to cancel riding lessons this afternoon but now I can safely go. It's only an hour lesson but with hooking up trailer, catching horse, etc.. it usually turns into a 4 hour affair by the time we're back home.

And with that... I bid you farewell and hope you'll all have a fabulous Tuesday!

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Boy oh boy oh boy. 2011 is REALLY testing my AFness and committment!! Got a call about an hour ago from the bank's attorney confirming the closing for tomorrow. he says he sees here that I will be bringing some cash to the table. I said yep, $250. He says, no, I have here 1400!! I did not handle that news well unfortunately but I do hope his hearing comes back soon! :H Luckily I did not plow into anyone or slam on the brakes when he gave me the news. What I did do is drive straight to the bank to find out why on earth there was a 1200 difference from the GFE. Turns out it because I haven't paid October's mortgage payment yet. Well, since I just spent 700 fixing my car, I don't have the money to pay the mortgage but was under the assumption it was rolled into the closing costs. Apparently not. So new plan: pay mort. on the 14th when I get paid next and close on the 25th (still waiting to hear if that is ok with bank attny.) Will need to bring 443 to table because of extra interest. It's going to be tight. Can't close after Nov 1st because my rate lock will be expired. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
To make matters worse, my new doc thinks I should undergo treatment for TB because 30 years ago I remember getting a positive PDP or what ever it is. All chest xrays have been clear since then except when I had pneumonia a few times but she says you can get other forms of TB. Wouldn't I have exhibited symptoms by now? Apparently not. On the plus side, my health scare and rotten test results of last year were most likely due to drawn out menopause. Quitting drinking was the best thing I could have done for myself and one of the reasons my results are perfect now and my BP is perfect. I wonder why my old doc and the specialists I went to never told me that????
And one more piece of shitty news: The weather for this weekend is supposed to be gorgeous and in the 80's. Why is that shitty? Because it's OCT for crying out loud and my dogs have to stay in my car during the wedding and reception on Sunday!!! Crap!!
i'm trying very hard to look on the bright side of things. I really am but the Universe is making it F**king Hard!!

[universal]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Kaslo - no worries! You are not offending me at all, I appreciate your concern. As you are fairly new on the thread you probably are not aware of my diagnosis (through my doctor). I have PTSD, major depressive disorder and panic disorder. So yes, You are 100 percent correct when you say I have to be careful about being in bed all day. I should probably have explained a little more. I don't actually live in my bedroom, I am out doing things during the day but my hubby worries if he sees a couple of days where I am in my bedroom for more time than usual. A typical day for me is up at 6:30ish, get hubby and daughter out the door, do a load of laundry, get on the computer and usually around 11 I head back up to either do some homework or maybe have a small nap. Then I'm up again doing things around the house or headed out to a meeting. Today actually has been an awesome day I have been out all day! Feels great! I should have been more clear when I said I'm in my room all the time - my fault. I do spend a lot of time up there but I am also out doing things, making family dinners, coffee, tv nights etc. My bad for not explaining myself properly.

So no Kaslo, by no means at all am I upset with your observations, I truely thank you for your concern. And yes, if it seems like I need an ass whooping at all I give you permission to kick me from the other side of the country!

Love,
Uni

[Kaslo]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Ahhh ok. Thanks. Well that does clear a lot up. My apologies.. By PTSD do you mean Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? The same stress disorder that affects Combat personnel in active Military service?

[universal]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Yes, one and the same. PTSD is actually quite a complex mental disorder that affects a lot of people however due to the fact that we equate it with military a lot of people that have it go un-diagnosed. Mine is due to sexual traumas that I have experienced along with some personal trauma in my life. Symptoms are the same as military - flashbacks, trouble sleeping, severe anxiety and fear in everyday situations. That kind of thing. Medications help but some days the anxiety and fear does rule my life. That is a main part of the reason I am off on disability - I had an excellent high paying career however it got to the point that I couldn't drive to work because of the panic attacks. These disorders are some of the main reasons I drank - self medication. However now I meet with my psychologist on a weekly basis and do a lot of homework plus have been to 2 rehab centres so that I can get well. Slow but steady wins the race. And at 4 months clean yesterday, I hope that I will continue to slowly win the race. :l

[momof3]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Hello All,

Just checking in to say hey ho. Very busy with yoga teacher training. I was practice last night and got home at 10:00 pm and up very early for week-long course I am deliving for work. Back to yoga tomorrow night and then all weekend. It's all good but I feel I've lost touch with what's happening with everyone.

:l:l:lPapmom3:l:l:lI am giving you my full allotment of hugs!!! Don't blame you for being upset. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you. I admire that you keep on keeping on and that you are staying AF.

Uni, It is good that you have insight about yourself through your diagnoses. Just know that you are not your diagnoses. Like Lav, I have first hand experience with family members who became so identified with their depression and anxiety that they never got out of it. I'm not saying that this is the case for you but it may be what your husband is worried about. It's good that you are working hard with your therapist and I hope that you know that it always won't be this way for you. Maybe your husband has to hear that too. CONGRATS ON 4 MONTHS. Very happy for you.

Hi Sunshine, Det, Greenie. WELCOME Nursie!!

Later,
M3

[ItsJustMe]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Hey All –

Pap – you know something that I have noticed recently? Life keeps throwing you curve balls. Not that that is unusual – we all get them. The interesting thing is you keep coming up with a Plan ’B’! That is so cool. A lot of people would just wig our, go bat crap, have a hissy, etc. However, whatever comes your way you come up with an workable alternate plan. I wish I could be more like that. It’s just an observation that you may not have noticed about yourself. You should be proud though.

Uni – This is just my opinion but I don’t think it’s unhealthy to want to stay in your comfort zone from time to time. I don’t have PTSD but with my depression there are times that I just want to sleep late and hang around the house and not go anywhere. I think the danger is when that feeling occupies your life more than not. During these times I am pretty introverted and I am a little distant to Mrs. IJM. But as long as these feelings don’t last long I just go along with it. The important thing is that I let her know that these feelings have nothing to do with her. I think as long as you have open communication with your spouse then things should be fine. Again, that’s just my untrained opinion…

Lav – can you put me on the meatball sandwich list? I’d even cut your grass for one!

Back to the Dentist today. Was in the chair from 9:30AM until 12:15PM. At least he has a TV above the chair so I can be somewhat entertained. Today I got a crown – first time. I HATE IT! It feels weird. I’m half tempted to get my pliers and get this thing off my tooth…

Time to hit the bed. Hey to Nursie, Greenie, Det, M3, Kas, Sunshine, and Greenie.

IJM

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

Hi fABbies! Long day here. Good, but long.

(((Uni)))) You are doing so well slogging your way through things. Does your husband get to go to any counseling with you?

Nursie - I love your humor and enthusiasm. What a great addition you are!

Lav. Here is YB's BD present. Would you deliver it for me?? :b&d: If you made him a meatball sandwich you are far far more gracious than me. Well, we all KNOW you are far far more gracious than me, but you know what I mean...... :H

Hi M3! How is yoga teacher training going? Hope you are lovin' it.

P3 - I've got all fingers, toes, ankles, elbows, eyeballs, etc. all crossed in hopes that your closing goes smoothly!

Hi Greenie!

Sunny - what kind of riding do you do at your lessons? Dressage I'm thinking? Why am I thinking that? (my brain doesn't work like it used to....)

Travel safe Det!

Kaslo;1187796 wrote: Ahhh ok. Thanks. Well that does clear a lot up. My apologies.. By PTSD do you mean Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? The same stress disorder that affects Combat personnel in active Military service?

Kas, PTSD is very complex and affects far more than military personnel from combat.

Well, homework for the day is done and I'm off to bed. I'm a little nervous about all the tests coming up. Very different to do this sober, that's for sure. But sober I shall stay! One thing is for sure...

DG

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Tuesday Oct. 4

:H :H I'm going to make meatball sandwiches for everyone!!!

The semi - BD dinner celebration went OK! The grass was finally cut after weeks worth of rain......

EB & his parents & brother were here as well so it kind of took some pressure off of me. I just cannot behave in a manner that is not natural for me. YB is damn lucky to have such a nice estranged wife And I know he knows that too

Kaslo, I think I will try some whole wheat spaetzle - when I have a free minute!

Sending hugs to Uni & papmom!
Things just have to level out soon for you papmom :l

Hello to everyone - I'm heading to bed!

Lav