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    AF Daily - Thursday

    Morning abbers!

    I had a disturbing email this morning - one of my friends from rehab sent me a message saying that one of our other friends had sent her a FB message asking if she wanted to get into selling Meth. My FB friend was really upset because she's been clean for 5 months so she blocked her on FB and let me know asap as I have been hanging out quite a bit with the other girl. So now I have to confront her and tell her that if she is back in that world that I cannot hang out with her anymore. Sad but this is the reality of addiction.

    I got a lot accomplished yesterday - finished my assignment and got laundry done and dinner served. Then relaxed a bit. Had a bit of a panic attack when we picked up my daughter becasue she was extrememtly agitated and whiny and my anxiety went into overdrive. I came home and promptly put myself in the bathtub (even though it was only 5pm) so that I could calm my nerves.

    Today I have some running around to do and of course, my phone call that I'm not looking forward too. But I have to remember, this is my sobriety and I need to surround myself with safe people, not ones that are falling. Sad but true.

    One thing is for sure - no AL for this girl today.

    Love and hugs,
    Uni
    Every day is a day to start over and remember that I am powerless over my addiction. I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
    :h

    #2
    AF Daily - Thursday

    Way to go uni! You wear those big girl pants well. :goodjob:

    Be back!
    sigpic
    Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

    Comment


      #3
      AF Daily - Thursday

      Good morning Abbers!

      Uni, take care of yourself - no matter what :l

      Good morning ms greenie!

      OK, chickens are waiting for food & water, Maxie isn't even up yet - guess it's time to kick some butt around here :H

      Wishing everyone a great AF Thursday!
      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

      Comment


        #4
        AF Daily - Thursday

        Hi lav!

        DG, is your final today? Good luck, pings, vibes, kick arse and all that!
        sigpic
        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

        Comment


          #5
          AF Daily - Thursday

          Good Morning Abbers,
          Uni- I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. If in fact what the friend from rehab shared with you is true, and your other friend is using again, I'd anticipate some denial in that conversation you'll be having today. Unfortunately, I've seen first hand how crafty the addict can get in covering things up. Denial, lies, promises, etc. The ease of these behaviors becomes almost as unbearable as the act of using itself. So good luck to you! Oh! And also: TOTALLY relate to the daughter being a possible trigger. I have 3 small kids and on some days, dealing with them sends my thoughts right into AL overdrive!
          Thank you to all for the many responses yesterday to my post. The responses gave me hope. I went from worrying about that seed inside of me growing until it is fed, to looking at the situation as a test I had overcome, which in reality, will make me stronger.
          It's been two weeks now and I'm still dealing with feeling sluggish. I'll do fine throughout the day, but by about 5-6, I'm tired! I've been going to bed between 8-9, usually closer to 8. My sugar intake (lots of Butterfinger candy bars!) is still high as my body tries to get the sugar from another source besides alcohol. I've been giving into these cravings. I tell myself that maybe I should watch what I eat a little closer, but then I think, one vise at a time. My husband's sponsor told him to keep as much chocolate around as possible when going through the initial stages of sobriety. And here's something that's really odd: I'm on ADHD meds, which are basically stimulants that cause the ADHD person to slow down and focus more, rather than to speed up. I've been on these for over a year now. When I was drinking, the alcohol almost acted as a stimulant itself, rather than a depressant. If I was feeling sluggish in the late afternoon, once I started drinking, I would get my second wind and stay up late drinking. Now that I'm not drinking, that second wind doesn't kick in and I begin to feel tired. I'm afraid to bring this up with my doctor because I don't want her to know I've been drinking heavily the entire time she was treating me. I HATE being labeled as an "alcohol abuser" in my medical records. Something like that follows you around EVERYWHERE for the rest of your life. So I never share that part of me in the doctor's office. And as I've said before, I think it might be my body readjusting to sober life that is causing the changes. That, coupled with my diet, caffeine intake and lack of exercise. I have lost a few pounds though. That alcohol fueled spare tire is disappearing! I'd better get going. Parent-Teacher conferences this morning. And the good news is: I won't be smelling like stale alcohol when I go in to talk to the teachers one-on-one.
          Happy days to all of you Abbers!!!
          "Today's Test Is Tomorrow's Testimony"

          Comment


            #6
            AF Daily - Thursday

            Hello friends,

            I'm taking the morning off to do some stuff around the house. So I promise a quick check in from me.:H

            Uni--good luck with your friend. It must be sad to think she is considering going down that road. Hugs to you. And yes, remember to take care of you!:l

            Go--I still remember the fatigue when I quit drinking and smoking. It is a normal reaction of your body detoxing. Maybe you can get some dark chocolate instead of Butterfingers? I went through a lot of M&M's for awhile. Then I went through a fairly healthy eating phase. Now I am back on too much crap and sugar--but not al related. IMHO you can replace the bad habits with good ones slowly. I don't get as much done in the evenings either because I also used the alcohol and nicotine to give me energy. I had to learn to just sit and do nothing at times. As far as your doctor--if you can't talk to him/her off the record then....I'm sure you know it is not a good idea to drink alcohol while taking ADHD meds. If you feel like you need to talk to him about it, just say you have given up alcohol and address your concerns. I think they assume everyone drinks. (Does this even make sense?) Sorry if it doesn't.

            Hi Greenie, Lav and all to come. It is frosty out there this morning! My garden is done! BUT I have some beautiful plants in the greenhouse. I will try to get some pictures.

            Good luck in school today DG!

            Happy sober day all!:h
            _______________
            NF since June 1, 2008
            AF since September 28, 2008
            DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
            _____________
            :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
            5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
            _______________
            The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

            Comment


              #7
              AF Daily - Thursday

              Hi Uni,
              When you do confront that friend and I know you'll do it fearlessly, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. It's an act of love for the both of you. As Greeneyes says you're wearing the big girl pants well! Actually I wish more people had the guts to be in your shoes.
              G.A.C. you're doing well. Keep on going. We all expect tests especially in the beginning.
              LVT It's odd how we all seem to have issues with sugar and junk eating and then spells of healthy stuff. I've been so good for so many weeks and then last week out of the blue I'm bingeing on chocolate bars. I know I have an issue with sugar -it seems it's just another addiction I'll have to contend with. But not right now! ha ha! All in good time -right?
              X Treya
              AF since 11 July 2011
              You can never get enough of what you don't really want

              Comment


                #8
                AF Daily - Thursday

                Good Morning All,

                DG...sending you positive test vibes.

                GOC. Yep, perfectly normal for you to feel fatigue at this stage of the game. Just go with it and rest whenever you can. Our bodies get depleted of many essential vitamins, minerals, and nutrients from alcohol abuse. What are you taking for supplements/vitamins? Essential from my experience. Sugar craviings are a normal part of it too. I still get them but not as bad as when i first quit drinking. You are doing great.

                Uni, Good for you for backing away from your friendship with the woman who is using again. You are a strong woman!!

                Hey to Greenie, Lav, and LVT

                :h
                M3
                AF Since April 20, 2008
                4 Years!!!
                :lilheart:

                Comment


                  #9
                  AF Daily - Thursday

                  :thanks:Mom of3. You said "Sugar craviings are a normal part of it too. I still get them but not as bad as when i first quit drinking."
                  That's good for those of us who are still experiencing the sugar cravings to remember. It honestly feels to me as if I've swopped al for sugar at times. I look forward to needing sugar less and less.
                  AF since 11 July 2011
                  You can never get enough of what you don't really want

                  Comment


                    #10
                    AF Daily - Thursday

                    :wd:Well, I did it. I confronted my friend and she said "I'm fine, I'm not using." I told her that even if she wasn't using the fact that she had contacted someone she knew was in recovery looking to sell Meth that she wasn't fine. That in fact she was on a very slippery slope. I let her know that she had triggered our friend and that she had been blocked from her FB page now because she wasn't safe for her. I also said that while I'm proud of you for not using, relapses do not happen in the here and know, they usually start weeks before the actual binge and that emailing someone looking to sell meth is not recovery behavior; that is addict behavior. And that is not safe for me to be around. I am too early in my sobriety and if you were beside me and said, "lets go have a beer"; I can't be 100% certain that I have the strength yet to say no. So please, call your sponsor and please get yourself out of this downward spiral before you relapse. Cause you are on the verge and I cannot help you right now. I love you and care about you but I can't help you.

                    So, I really hope she doesn't fully relapse because I really don't think she has another recovery in her. And to be quite frank - I am sick of burying friends. Anyway, that's been my day. But funny thing is I don't feel guilty or bad or anything. I am actually feeling happy today - I have gone for a bike ride, cleaned the bathrooms, got the fixings out to make meatloaf for dinner (I know, blah, but lots of garlic! LOL) and have done a lot of reading. So I am actually feeling quite good even though life threw me a curveball today. Look at me!!! I'm growing!!!:wd:
                    Every day is a day to start over and remember that I am powerless over my addiction. I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
                    :h

                    Comment


                      #11
                      AF Daily - Thursday

                      Hi all,

                      Treya, I did use some L-Glutamine for a while to help with the sugar cravings......
                      Now I just need to tell myself - stop it!!! :H

                      Good luck to our resident student DG

                      Hi LVT, GAC, greenie & M3!
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                      Comment


                        #12
                        AF Daily - Thursday

                        Hey Uni - good for you girl!!!!!
                        AF since 03/26/09
                        NF since 05/19/09
                        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                        Comment


                          #13
                          AF Daily - Thursday

                          fABbies!! Uni, thanks for kicking things off today. Totally get where you are coming from needing and wanting to surround yourself with sober folks. I am that way too. I've gone through some difficult moments changing the nature of the relationship with some old friends. But protecting my sobriety is my number one priority. My effort to change the nature of those relationships was NOT about them (i.e. being critical) - it was totally about me - and doing what I need to do to build a contented sober life. ETA: I see you did what you had to do - I'm proud of you. You are so right that selling illegal drugs is not recovery behavior.

                          Doglvr - congrats from yesterdays thread on Day 6!!!!!

                          GAC - I totally relate to the exhaustion and sugar cravings. I went to bed very early back when, and that formed a new habit!!! When I first quit drinking, I followed the diet recommendations (along with all the other recommendations except topa) in the MWO book. A low carb diet was recommended and that's what I did. I got along fine and lost weight, etc. Then I let the sugar monster creep in. OMG I wish I would never have done that!!! I think the AA people are off track by suggesting sugar as a good substitute. Better than drinking? Yes. But in my own case, I was WAY better off keeping sugar OUT. (and I am an AAer saying this!) For me this sugar business does feel like AL2.

                          Hi Lav, Greenie, Treya, M3, LVT and all to come.

                          I think the test went fine. I had a strong A going it, and I doubt I dropped a grade. This teacher is a master at tricky questions!! And once I've seen a few tricky ones, then I'm looking for tricks in questions that don't have tricks and it gets a little :nutso:!!!! But Intro to Addiction Counseling is over, and next Thursday we start the second of the warp speed jam packed "full semester in half a semester" classes. Several of the same 29 year old students will be in the next class so that will be fun.

                          One thing is for sure....

                          DG
                          Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                          Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                          One day at a time.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            AF Daily - Thursday

                            DG - what courses do you have next? I have completed: Intro to Addictions, Relapse Prevention, Assessment of Addictive Behavior, Concurrent Disorders and am just finishing up Solution Focused Approaches to Addiction Counselling. I think I am either going to take group work or Women in Addictions next - haven't decided yet - mine is all correspondence so I can take the courses any way that I want to.
                            Every day is a day to start over and remember that I am powerless over my addiction. I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
                            :h

                            Comment


                              #15
                              AF Daily - Thursday

                              Yeah Uni. Excellent job!! Brave, authentic woman you are!!
                              AF Since April 20, 2008
                              4 Years!!!
                              :lilheart:

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