Weemelon and Tawny, Bill Bryson is the best. May I recommend " A Walk in the Woods." It is about the Appalachian Trail in the Eastern US. Very good stuff.
I was well right to stay home all. Although I stayed home primarily for 2 reasons (1) elective stupidity on part of eldest sibling that resulted in my shopping for previously unnannounced guests (that he said he was bringing) on CHRISTMAS DAY (and spending 100 dolllars) and then said guests not coming (to which he responded, I don't know why anyone thought they were coming) AND (2) generally helpful second sibling who tried to rush me to get ready and gave me 10 minutes to get ready while I was in dripping towel and would not consent to commencing the dinner without me (I forced them to agree to eat from paper plates, the queen was not coming). To all those who know of my family, the kitchen bitch sib was good, he was innocent in last night's insanity.
Lushy, at the GAP I have found some boy cut jeans and silly green flats that will make me look like a court jester. Thank you for offering to take the card off my hands though.
I missed many interesting events last night that bolster my decision to stay home. For, you see, it is not just my family. My family is forever intertwined with even crazier family ... da inlaws. My dearest sister in law has crazy family too. Her lovely father has the most insane children ever. Her malicious sister #1 rode up on broomstick to cause havoc and berated and belittled him. He has sold family home (so there will be NO room for his adult children to roost). He wanted to have last Christmas in his beautiful old home and has prostate cancer (he does not know). Crazy and Malicious are mad he has sold house. He became irate and confused and started talking babble. Crazy and malicious sister #2 called police and had them come over to house and asked them to remove the devil from her father (she is like in mid 40s and works as police dispatcher)??? Sister in law called about 10 churches and could not raise one priest.They must have caller ID too? Now my poor sister in law SO upset and sad. She know her father passing and her nutty ass sisters do not know, he does not know, and she is carrying huge weight on shoulders.
Also, malicious sister #1has FOUR children who are now coming over for Christmas today. SO, I now have to go out and buy gifts. My board friends will remember that I have been trying to get people to commit to the "RULES" as far as gift buying ... do I buy them gifts, am I allowed to buy them gifts. Sister in law is trying to provide them with normal family (and yes, relative to her family we are fairly normal, only one true nut). But, now I have to go Christmas shopping AGAIN - the day AFTER Christmas!!! ARRRGGGH.
I am laughing though. I feel like Salvador Dali.
Merry Day after Christmas ... now you see why I was on strike ...
Hugs,
Pans
P.S. I am fine, this is for entertainment purposes only. Please do not provide preferred methods regarding means of exorcisms.This is not mini-drama. Do not try this at home.
Comment