Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

One of my AA friends has asked me to be group rep for our Sun. group. I'm thinking about it. I have a lot on my plate, but AA wouldn't exist wo/volunteerism. I think I'm going to do it. We've had service as the topic for discussion at our Sat. meeting. There are always those folks who just come in & sit down every week. But, there are the active members who take on quite a bit. My sponsor is one of those people really committed to service. Not only does she do service, but she tries to do something a little different every year. This year she's on an institutions (i.e.prisons, jails) committee which brings AA to inmates.

I'm working on my 4th step...listing the people, institutions, isms that I hold resentments toward. There are 2 resentments on the list that I feel reluctant to let go of. I wouldn't say these resentments are eating at me, but I don't think well of these 2 people. I'm taking it one step at a time...not expecting myself to be "cured" of all my resentments right now.

We're getting ready for our 2 week trip to Italy. We'll see family & the place where my maternal g-parents grew up. It'll be an adventure us 2 senior citizens. We won't be on a formal tour, but we've planned the trip pretty carefully so that we won't have to wander around or sleep in the park at all.

Other than that, it's the same old daily challenge of staying sober, alert to any changes/amends I need to make, & doing service work for my loved ones & my groups. Of course, I have some fun in between.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

Hi Mary and thanks for getting us started this week. When you say "group rep" are you talking about representing your group at the ???? district (I think) meetings? That has always seemed interesting but a lot of work! I admire you for stepping up and considering taking that on. You are right - it takes a lot of volunteering to keep AA afloat.

I went Saturday night to hear a friend from home group speak. Turned out to be a different friend than I thought LOL - but I'm very glad I went. He has a compelling story of recovery and he's a guy who has always inspired me. It was great as always to hear his story from end to end. My similarities this time were related to the impact of booze over time on career and family relationships. As always, I left feeling very grateful that I don't have to live that way any more.

My friend who recently relapsed is back in the hospital. I think that is probably the best place for her right now. It's very hard sometimes to stay involved with people who relapse, but I need to remember this could be me. There is always something to be learned from every situation.

Mary, have a wonderful time in Italy! Sounds like fun.

DG

[retteacher]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

Yes, group rep at the district level...bringing back AA info to my home group.

Ah relapsing. There's always a lot going on. One guy who came in just after me recently relapsed. He is getting out of rehab soon. He's someone I never would have thought would "go out." Another guy is struggling...I see him, then I don't. He had multiple years in AA...so nobody is immune to relapse.

At last night's meeting, a young man w/quite a few years shared that he's been thinking about drinking. He actually concocted a plan but (thank God) didn't go through w/it. He came to a meeting instead. What an incredibly devious disease this is! Cunning baffling powerful indeed.

M

[cpn1004]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

Greetings all.
Mary, I have been wrestling with a resentment for two years. And today, about a half hour ago I realized that this person can't help it. This is a sick person, not an alcoholic, but sick. And I need to accept that.
Wow, that felt good! Thanks for all you guys do.

[retteacher]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

Phil: I've been writing a list of people that I feel resentment toward in preparation for doing the 4th step. On it is a guy I worked with whom I've been resentful toward for at least 7 years. As I was thinking about him the other day, I realized it's just time to "let go." I don't have to think of him w/anger. We'll see what happens as I write all this stuff down. M

[Doggygirl]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

You guys have really got me thinking about resentments. My first time through Step 4, I focused on the "big ones" at the time - involving family, bosses, "close" people. Your posts are reminding me that I have some less striking ones that I haven't fully dealt with. I need to get busy and lwork on letting them go. ALL resentments are bad for me.

Thanks as always - you guys inspire me.

DG

[retteacher]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

DG: I guess that's why the steps are there to do continuously...to ferret out what we've missed. I have a friend in program who listed EVERYTHING: from bad drivers to TV commercials that he hates. It got me thinking about the fact that every single time I express negativity, there is a resentment behind it. M

[Doggygirl]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

Mary, your post reminded me of the series of meetings a few months ago where the theme of judgements leading to resentments was discussed. That is so true for me. Making a judgement about someone is definitely how my resentments get going. And they only hurt me.

DG

[retteacher]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

DG: I love your little Boston terrier. They are so darned cute w/those starey eyes & irrespressible personalities. We have an acquaintance w/one...he doesn't know he's small. He'll take on any dog regardless of size.

I like your tag line about life. It's so true. Nobody gets through life wo/some heartbreak. It's all about how you deal w/it.

Even though we've been busy, I try very hard to keep up w/meetings, readings, & service. It's essential for me.

M

[Doggygirl]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

Mary I wish that was my terrier!! Someday I will have a little doggy all my own, but not at this time. None of our big dogs would pose in their costumes for me! :H

Recovery is wonderful to watch. The drug court judge gave sponsee the task of writing a proposal for her discharge from the supervision of the drug court. So a really big important step is forthcoming for her - she is preparing to move back home with her husband and youngest son. I will be helping her with some of that tomorrow. It is wonderful to be a part of someone getting their life together. I am so proud of her.

DG

[retteacher]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

Last night's reading was "The Chapter to the Agnostic." I try very hard not to overthink the God stuff. In the chapter, one line caught my eye: "Let's look at the record." I'm a walking miracle. God & AA did for me what I could not do for myself. I recently came across a couple of journal entries from before I got sober. The frustration & desperation were palpable. A photo of a sweating wineglass would send me to the package store, whereupon I would drink the wine warm in a coffee mug. I can honestly say that, at least for today, the compulsion is gone. M

[cpn1004]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

Yeah Mary that is a good thought. I think we see lots of "walking miracles" at each AA meeting.
I too was reading through my old journal. It was quite interesting to see through the years where my drinking slowly became a constant topic in my notes. Wow, it took a long time to do something about it. But I too have lost the compulsion to drink. And so far I have made it one more day.

[Doggygirl]

Oct. 17 - Oct. 23 Weekly AA Thread

Hi friends! I too am grateful that I did not have the compulsion to drink today, and I haven't for quite a long time. We are all walking miracles!

DG