AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

Hi everyone!

WFS = Women For Sobriety
Big Book = Alcoholics Anonymous (the book)

DG

[GoAwayCabernet]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

Good Morning Abbers-
I survived the kid's sleepover. I limited the extra kids stay to 10am this morning. That kept me from getting frazzled. Got the house back in order, caught up on yesterday & today's threads, now it's time to hit the shower & bring the kiddos to an indoor gym to burn some of their energy up.
LVT - Was reading what you wrote about having a "talk" with your hubbie. I had one of those talks with my hubbie. I just let him know that I love him very much, want to spend the rest of my life with him, but some of his actions chip away at my love for him. I described some of the actions & told him I was bringing it to his attention because if some things didn't change, I didn't want him to be blind-sided if one day I came to him and told him I was sick of dealing with it. I can't stand the whole "passing out in the chair" thing. And the gurgled up snoring: YUCK!!!!
Greenie- Sounds like the barber thing is kicking in for you. Is the other barber a paid employee or an independent contractor? Kind of hard to "manage" someone's behavior when they're an indep. contr. I would proceed cautiously with the over-heard convo. Don't want to make assumptions without hard evidence. I used to work with a young kid that was trying to deal pot out of the barbershop we worked in. The owner put an immediate stop to that one!
The conversations here have been including a lot about the Women For Sobriety online group. I think I'm going to have to check that out.
Gotta get going: Parental duties are calling.
Have a wonderful Saturday everyone!
By the way Kaslo, the picture in my avator is actually a tree in my backyard. I just love the way the leaves look like they are glowing when the sun hit them.

[universal]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

Ladies and gentlemen - I have finally started my assignment!!! woo hoo. It's almost done actually, just taking a break. I had a rough morning, depression wise. Went back up to bed and honestly felt like I was losing it - wanting to run away from life, not caring about anything. Just a rough morning. Finally I said @#$# this and got my ass up. Then my hubby comes home and he was in worse shape than me because the job he is working on today is just not going right at all. He was almost in tears and I felt so bad for him that all I wanted to do was help. My nurturing kicked into gear. I let him vent and talk and he figured out his next step and went on his way. I decided at that point to sit down and do some work. Feeling much better now. I'm going to finish my assignment and then who knows, maybe go for a bike ride to the store or watch a movie. At least I'm vertical!

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

Uni, glad you are upright ~ we tend to get more done that way
My mood hasn't been bad but not the best today & now I have been blessed with watching the insanity twins for the rest of the weekend
My son & his family are on the way to celebration for DIL's grandmother's 80th BD. Long trip that requires an overnight stay so I get the dogs - yay

GAC, my husband of 38 years chose to leave instead of pushing himself to change some of his obnoxious behaviors. It was totally his choice. He's been gone 18 months & he's still miserable.

Hello to Kaslo, Treya & DG again

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

Hello friends,

Thank you for the birthday wishes. I need/want other things beside a new microwave--but I need to quit being so controlling and accept the gift graciously. It is a nice upgrade. I suggested to my son that when he gets married, when it comes to buying his wife a gift--pass on the appliances, unless she helps pick it out. I remember last year my birthday was almost ruined because of the refrigerator he tried to "surprise" me with.

CAB--I'm curious. How did your hubby respond to your concerns? Mine is just so defensive and his first response is I should just leave him if he's so bad. I keep hoping he'll figure some of it out for himself, but.....

We have this "memorial" thing he put together for a friend. Quite a few out of town guests and lots of al will be consumed. I've offered my a help a few times, but he's just been weird about it. He's also been drinking alot lately in the evenings, so pretty much stays away from me. I asked him about food for this deal several times. I asked him last night if I should bring some salsa and chips since they're not having any food. Today I asked if the club where we are having this was having food later and he said steak and shrimp and then he said no...they're having nachos. Later, he said something about maybe they should cook up those hamburgers and put them in roasters so he didn't have to cook later. Hamburgers??? First I heard about that one and then the argument started. He swore he told me a couple of times about the burgers and I know he did not. THIS is what happens and drives me crazy. Does he have serious brain damage? Does he seriously think we had conversations when we don't have ANY?? I have to say my desire to go to this deal and be nice and sociable is about nil.

I'm sorry you have to put up with so much of my venting! I'm just hoping if I get it out of my system now, it won't ruin the whole day.

Better go. Have a great sober day all.:h

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

LVT, :l Maybe you already do this - I don't recall if you've said. Can you drive separately so at least that way, you can leave whenever you want?

Espcially in the later years of my drinking, it really really really affected my memory. Way more than in the earlier years. FWIW...

GAC - I can't even imagine having one kid much less sleepovers!!!

Uni - good for you on your homework. I have not gotten done as much as I hoped because I realized skate america is on today. BUT...I did at least get a better idea of how I'm going to organize my term paper. Getting going on it is the hardest part I swear! Sounds like you did a great job giving your DH the support he needed today.

Lav. The insanity twins. You are a saint!

Break from figure skating - back to the books.

DG

[Kaslo]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

LVT, I feel so bad for you. It really sounds from your description that AL is coming between you and your husband. That has to be rough. I think I did just this very thing to my husband actually. Drank too much, withdrew from him, withdrew from everyone except my work. The difference was I never drove when drunk, not once. Well maybe I drove when slightly impaired as a University student once, I remember thinking I had violated my own code on that, was really pissed at myself. (As you guys know I spent a few years in and out of various hospitals after getting creamed by an 50 year old alkie. I was 17)....wait... This is too much about me, and not about you, LVT, so Ill just say I really wish you could convince him to try and cut back or even quit for a while and see how he feels. Anyway, Iam just reaching out here, with sympathy, because its gotta hurt to be given something like a microwave oven for a birthday present is not very loving or personal. This cant be good for the home front. And can I just echo DG with driving there on your own, so you can go when you dont want to watch the foolishness for very much longer? I dont think I could take it, myself.

kas

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

hello my fabbies!

LVT-belated birthday wishes for you. I'm so sorry about the gift but at least you got a gift which means he did remember that important date. I have no idea what to say about his memory lapses except it's definitely a symptom of AL abuse. My memory was totally shot by the time I quit drinking and now I see the same thing in my sis and my dad. Very sad.

DG-I actually watched the last skater today-the czech who won it. thought of you the whole time! i too have just registered for WFS. i think its wierd they dont list the group locations on the site. hopefully they will reply to me soon.

kas-hope you had a nice kayak paddle.

lav-you are so good to your kids. no way would my dad take my dogs for even an hour!!

uni-way to deal with the down feelings and your hubby. i cant tell you how much you impress me these days.

GAC-yes please tell-how did your hubby react? you were very brave.

marshy-do hope you feel better soon!

hi mr G!

Greenie-WOW! you are now officially employed!! Good luck with the different guy. sounds a little scary but you can handle him! ARe you going to frame that first tip???

Turn-congrats on 90 days!! Sorry I'm so late.

Hi Bear, Treya, M3

Where is IJM? I hate when he disappears like this!!

Today was a complete bust. Got up at 9am after letting the dogs out at 6am (must have been something in the air this morning with all the sleepy heads!!) so got a very late start. After brekkie I decided to do a quick 10 pullups just to see if I can. I could but wreaked a muscle in my upper arm and now I can't lift it past horizontal. But Aleve works wonders on pain. Went to the auto parts store and bought the spark plugs and a replacement tail lite.
Got home, opened the hood and stared dumbly at the assemblage inside. What I thought were the plugs obviously were not so inside I ran to google videos. Turns out I had to remove the batter, Air intake sleeve and boot and fluid resevoir. Oh, and once I took out the old plugs, there was a good chance that oil was going to leak from the valve gaskets and those would need replacing. So I changed the tail light bulb. :H Guess it's more money down the exhaust of this car. I'll call on monday to find out what the minimum is they can do to try to get the car to run a little better. Hoping for 100 not $400 as a quote. Sigh.

Spent the rest of the day waiting for the alleve to take effect, watching TV and napping. Good thing the weather turned dreary this afternoon so I didn't feel too guilty about lazing it up.

Work tomorrow-hope my arm is better so I can push all those wheelchairs!

[Turnagain]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

happy belated b-day LVT!

A while back, I established a 'no appliance rule' for all gift giving opportunities. I was tired of crock pots for anniversaries. In more recent years, I have amended this rule to include pre-approved power tools. I stress pre-approved because my husband will buy pink tools when I really want the manly version.

As for the lack of recall about convos you've had.....hmmmmm. Perhaps it is the al. Then again, I know when I am very stressed and otherwise pre-occupied I remember very little...that may be a factor too.

Now that I am no longer drinking, I have to be very patient with drinkers. Sometimes I feel very frustrated with them and the drunken behavior. It looks so silly and wasteful to me now. When I feel myself slipping into that tude I have to back off and remember...it was just 3 months ago when I was being slurry, forgetful and addicted.

I have to make myself laugh in those situations....the quickest way to crack myself up and break up the negativity is to scream silently in my head that great line from a Seinfeld episode:

SERENITY NOW!

The quickest way to scare everyone around me is to just scream it out loud! It sure gets me some alone time in a hurry!!!!

[Kaslo]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

Wow Turnaround, thats very insightful, so thanks for posting that. What you said reminded me of how reformed former smokers can sometimes be (myself included)around smokers. Holier than thou, is what my mother used to call it. I resolve to be less judgemental.

kas

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

HAPPY BE-LATED BIRTHDAY, LVT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo

Hello to all..........!!

Not much to say today. Just lazying around. Cooking some din-din now.

Have a great Saturday nite everyone!!

CONGRATS ON 90 DAYS, TURN!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

Oh,
I forgot to mention that the last gift YB bought for me was for Christmas 3 years agp - a wireless printer so I can print from my laptop & not have to run to some other part of the house to get the pages(s). It was in the original box, unwrapped & I was pissed at the time but now I kind of like the damn thing :H

[GoAwayCabernet]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

Hey Abbers-
I have to agree with the "no appliances for gifts" rules. My husband likes to point out the washer & dryer he got "for me". Really? FOR ME, so that I can wash YOUR clothes? Or new pans so I can cook THEIR dinner? I nipped that in the bud early.
As for my conversation with my husband, he received it well. He too knows we have a drinking problem and it needs to stop. He's only drank a few times over the past 3 weeks and I can really see a difference in our relationship. We get along SO much better. Once I had the conversation of things needing to change, I began to point out the behaviors when they would appear. I would say it casually, not in a nagging way, but just to let him know that these were the things that I was talking about. I would clearly let him know that I wasn't "mad" or "looking for an argument", I just wanted him to be aware of it when it was happening. I know not all men are open to this, nor did it turn my husband into a complete Angel, but he has started to pay more attention to his actions.
Well, it's time to "take one for the team" with the kids. Saturday night movie is a Fred movie. Any of you who know who the internet sensation Fred is, you will have sympathy for me. Pure stupidity, but the kids think he's hiliarious.

[Turnagain]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

That reminds me...I got a free wireless printer when I ordered the new laptop. haven't connected it yet. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by technology. I want to be set out on the technology iceberg and just drift off into the sunset...using system OS 9.4 until we both just wither away.

[Turnagain]

AF Daily - Saturday 10/22

GAC...I googled the Fred movie.

I am so sorry. For you. For me. For all the brain cells that were killed for this.

:confusedmonkey: