Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

[retteacher]

Everyone:

I'm in my last week at home before going to Italy for 2 weeks. I'm trying to attend as many meetings as possible, as I'm probably not going to one for the time I'm in Italy. I'll bring my pocket BB & will read & reread the first part daily.

Last night's BB meeting was: More about Alcoholism. The first part was the most relevant to me. It was about:
-admitting that I'm an alcoholic. For me, that meant getting honest w/myself & others. I had to admit that I wasn't managing my life at all. Alcohol was calling all the shots.
-admitting that I can NEVER drink safely. For me, that meant giving up forever the idea that I might be able to moderate my drinking. I have no "off" switch, so whenever I open a bottle, I'll definitely consume the whole thing.

I always love the part of that chapter which lists all the ways we have tried to "manage" our drinking...switching, timing, etc. I did all those things & broke every rule I ever came up with.

So, it's a sober life for me. As I go along, I can see that's what I really want. I know when I'm miserable, I know when I'm happy, & I know when I'm having fun.

I saw a guy who had come into the program w/me. He was back after a stint in rehab, looking a little weary but ready for a new start. He was welcomed back w/warmth but not too much embarrassing fanfare. That's what AA is about.

Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Hi Everyone,
Sorry ive not been around posting lately the last time i posted i was feeling really low in myself. I am upping my program on step10 with my sponor. But i also made appointment to see my doctor and am so glad i did now . Been feeling so much better the last 2weeks also been able to copy more better at work as well.
Mary....Have a lovely time in Itlay it a beautiful country i have been to Rome once the churchs are out of this world.
I will be taking someone throught the program it will be my first time doing this am a bit scared, but looking forward to going throught the big book program again with someone.

Hope all is well with everyone, oh i forgot am going to apply to do a half marathron 13miles so am going to have to do lots of training it on 25th march next year i have a lot of fear around this not sure why but will explain next time.
Take care all love you lots.x catch22 x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Catch: It's always so beneficial to do service as you are by taking someone into the program. The more I read about the history of AA, the more I realize that helping another alcoholic is the cornerstone of the program. Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Catch: PS: Don't stay away from either MWO or from meetings when you're feeling down. Your fellow alcoholics can help. M

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Hi all! Mary, thanks for starting things off this week. I too love that Chapter, and also the list of things we tried in order to "control AL." That really stood out to me the first time I read the book. One of those *shocking* moments when I was struck by the fact AL (and addiction) hasn't changed in all these years.

Catch it's awesome to see you!!! Ditto what Mary said about coming here when you are feeling down. I too share that inclination to stay away - we really do need to do the opposite. I hate admitting to anyone when I am struggling. That's just plain silly given the accepting nature of my fellow alkies.

How exciting about the 1/2 marathon!!!!! I think you will feel so awesome training for it and then accomplishing it despite your fears. COOL!!!!!!! I also think you will be wonderful taking someone through the program. :l

Helped a fellow AAer today. She's back in rehab after a lot of struggling lately. I will just continue to do my best to offer support as long as she's trying to beat this thing. Got a first hand dose of her husband today too...... :egad: She thinks she needs to leave him and I can certainly see my way clear to support her in that decision. Things are going well in my own life right now, so I think it's really important that I find away to help my fellows no matter how busy I think I am.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

I just came back from an awesome speaker meeting. He was incredibly funny. His main message: Alcohol made his decisions for him...& boy, were some of them unfortunate. He was incredibly funny however...lots of laughs at his own expense. M

[AMELIA]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Hi Mary, Catch and Doggygirl,
Lovely to come on here and read your latest news. I too have been caught up in work etc and have not posted much at all lately.

Mary, your holiday sounds like it will be amazing. I had my first holiday away a few months ago. I didn't get to a meeting either (there wasn't an immediate one, it would have involved a long bus ride and thinking up and 'excuse' to tell the lady I was staying with). I did find listening to the AA speakers tapes very comforting. If you have a phone that you can download podcasts or MP3's to, they really do help.
Like going to a meeting (although you are just listening to the main sharer - not any sharing back).

Catch - wow, a 1/2 marathon. Good on you girl!!! It's going to take some training alright, but such an awesome achievement once you actually do it and finish!! Which one are you running? Do you have a training partner. I would offer, but we would have to train where we are (separately) and compare notes. I have only been managing 25min runs lately (I was up to 45/50mins, but let it slip).

Doggygirl, always good to see you. I still find it really difficult to see some fellow AA'ers go in and out of the rooms. I have had a close friend call me just recently and tell me that she is not going to do meetings anymore. I do wonder if that decision will lead her to a relapse (she had one not long ago). I want to keep working at our friendship, but wonder what my head will start telling me if she is able to remain sober without AA.

I have struggled a little lately with holding my two service posts (one secretary and one tea-making) and trying to find a balance between work, doing main shares when I am asked (and that seems to be quite often) and finding shares for the meeting I take. But, I guess at the end of the day, I got sober in AA and without AA and meetings I think I would very quickly slip back into old drinking thinking, then would probably pick up.

DG, when you say you will support your friend while she is trying to beat this thing, do you mean that if she picks up and doesn't seem interested in the programme, that you would have to distance yourself for the sake of your own sobriety? This is another area I have difficulty with I must admit. Knowing when to help someone struggling, and when to leave them to their own journey. (I hope you know what I mean by that - I certainly don't mean it in any 'cold-hearted' way)

Mary, I just saw your last post. I love meetings where there is a strong message, but lots of laughter!!

Amelia x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Amelia:

I have a hard time w/the whole relapse thing. Maybe it's because I know it could happen to me if I let up even a little. That's why I'd never want to "take time off" from meetings. I too have heard that refrain.

I too get asked to do service. I was asked to be the district rep for the Sun. group. It would involve another meeting a month, then reporting on what I learned at the district level. I will probably do it, but I'm not committing until after I return from vacay.

Yes, it's hard to know when to help & when it's codependence. I think recovery is about making that decision. In the old days of Bill & Bob, they took alcoholics into their homes, provided loans, etc. I'm not sure if that's relevant today w/all the services that are out there. So, knowing where to draw the line is difficult. One thing at a time. I think our instincts will sharpen & tell us what to do.

M

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Hey all,

Just checking in very quickly. I was on training all of last week so I've hardly stopped. It's great to hear all your news - there's some really exciting stuff going on for everyone at the moment isn't there?

I will pop back later as I have to make my housemate a birthday cake now before he gets home from work. But I just wanted to say hello as I've missed you all! 'Talk' soon!

K x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Hey Kimberly and Amelia!!! Great to see you both! And of course Mary as always. Gotta love a funny speaker!

Amelia - I sometimes have to make adjustments as my life continues to change in terms of the types and amounts of service work I'm doing. What has been working for me is when I think "I don't have time for this any more" I STOP and I don't react on that notion until I take quite a bit of time to consider it. Sometimes I really have had to change something I'm doing. But usually, I can adjust something else and keep up with my service work. My "lazy" tries to take over sometimes.

As far as helping people who are relapsed or at risk..... I go with my gut on some level, and of course never do anything that I feel would put my own sobriety at risk. There was a time not so very long ago where it would not have been a good idea at all for me to do what I did yesterday. I also was helping someone get into rehab so hard to imagine anything "enabling" happening there. Had she suggested a detour to the liquor store I would have said no - I was in the drivers seat. Had this been a stranger, I would have wanted another AAer with me. In fact, some of the old timers would have told me to take another AAer with me yesterday. (just to keep it real here!) There is safety in numbers not only in terms of reducing risk of getting dragged into a relapse situation, but also in terms of personal safety. I've been in a couple situations that got a bit dicey in that regard, and was glad not to be alone.

I think the key is to listen to you gut AND to your sponsor. And when I listen to my gut (aka HP) I REALLY have to listen and dicern what is really the right thing. Especially because I tend to be lazy, I have to really listen about situations that I am resisting.

Anyway...long ramble. Good to see you all.

DG

[AMELIA]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Hi Kimberly, hope the cake baking went smoothly!

Mary and Doggygirl, thanks for your comments about service and helping others who are struggling.

I have been thinking a bit lately that (and this will make you all laugh!) I just want to be normal and not be an alkie anymore. Fortunately I do realise that I am unable to even consider one drink because I KNOW where it would lead me. I haven't been keeping my recovery in the day, but forecasting waaaay into the future and thinking 'I have to do this (AA) for the rest of my life'.

I have also stopped though and considered what else is going on for me at the moment and why I could be feeling like I am. I have a huge work committment with a deadline in December (a solo art show), the biggest I have done so far. It's stressful just thinking about the work I have to do. So over the last couple of weeks anything that I have perceived as added stress that I have done service wise (main shares), I have got a little niggled about. My stressometer is already full!

My nutty head is telling me that I have to do the show, but I can let some meetings slip. I have talked to my sponsor about this and the old adage has come up: If you are too busy for meetings, you are too busy!!
I am doing another main share tonight and after this one, I will ask my sponsor (who has said I must say yes to Main shares unless I have another commitment) whether I can book in any other Main Shares after my exhibition kicks off. Obviously I will keep going to my regular meetings and honour the two service posts.

As far as helping others struggling. I think you are both right, I will have to make judgement calls along the way. Right now it may not be helpful for me to spend too much time with someone who is doing sobriety 'outside of AA' as I might think it's a possibility for me too (and I know it isn't).

Sorry for the ramble. This has been bugging me for a couple of weeks!!

Wishing you all a very happy day/night.
Off to paint some more....

Amelia

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Amelia: I too sometimes think: "Well, maybe I'm not an alcoholic." or "Maybe I'm OK now." Those are bad, bad thoughts for me. I am an alcoholic & always will be. I need meetings, & I need to stay active in AA. I need the fellowship & cannot let it slip. Sure, I can have other friends, but AA has to be the center of my life. If I don't have it that way, I'll drink again. As I've heard in meetings multiple times: "I have another drunk in me, but I'm not sure I have another recovery." I see how difficult it is to come back after a relapse. Not impossible, but very, very difficult.

Job stress is so difficult to cope with. I used it as my main excuse to drink for many, many years. Now that I'm retired, I don't have that. However, I can see that it was just an excuse. I could have coped w/the stress differently.

Good luck to all who have those particular stressors in their lives.

mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Ameilia, it sure sounds to me like you are considering all the right pros and cons to things, and looking to strike a helathy balance. That's all we can do! Good luck with your show! That sounds really exciting! Also sounds like one of those things I definitely couldn't imagine doing while drunk - especially not like I drank in the later years!

DG

[AMELIA]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

Thanks again Mary and Doggygirl for your replies.

I know I am an alcoholic absolutely - just a bit of 'poor me' going on - wishing the situation was different and wishing I was normal.

The main share I did last night seemed to go ok. I started out talking about feeling a bit 'wobbly' over the last couple of weeks and about work stress and balancing that with AA and going to meetings.
A lot of people last night shared back on their own experiences of letting a meeting slip here or there and that it is always a worrying sign, and that alarm bells should be going off.
Was really positive and I am glad it did it now.

Hope all of you are enjoying your day/evenings.
Best wishes
Amelia

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Oct. 24 - Oct. 30

AMELIA, glad it went well last night! As I was reading your post, the thought that crossed my mind is that sometimes I will think I am too busy to do something I view as "giving" (i.e. a main share, giving a ride, chairing a meeting, etc.). But then when I do it anyway, I realize in the end that I "get" way more than I feel I "gave." Very interesting how that works.

I'm glad I read your post, too because I agreed to give a lady a ride to the meeting this morning, even though I NEVER feel like doing that. Your post made me realize that I am probably about to "get" something that I really need, and something that is good in the act of giving.

DG