AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

[Kaslo]

WAKEY WAKEY!!!! Good morning Fabbists! where the heck is the usual morning shift? Hope every one is feeling fab as usual! It is sure great to wake up NOT feeling like ten pounds of poo in a one pound pail! Gotta run to the office. Will check in later. Kaslo

[LVT25]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

Sheesh! Where is everybody, Kaslo???

I, myself am off to have lunch and pedicures with two friends for my birthday. This is a tradition we started a couple of years ago, it is about the only time we get together, but it really is nice!

Hubby was socializing with some new friends last night and came in rather drunk. I had gone to bed (with the door shut) but I heard some loud voices. This morning hubby was still asleep on the couch when I got up-so he was late for work. #1 son asked if I heard them last night. Apparently he decided to tease dad about being drunk. It didn't go over too well and I told my son he still needed to show respect to his dad. I'm still not sure how to feel or handle this one. I asked why he liked to make him mad, that he should know by now how unpredictable he is when drinking, that is why I avoid him. I sure don't like the example he is setting for them, but I'll keep talking to the boys.

Have a great sober day all!:h

[Turnagain]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

Good morning all...

LVT good to see you stretching out the birthday celebration...as you should! We have contests in my house to see how long we can stretch out b-day events. My husband is the winner (whiner?) who has the unbroken record of stretching celebratory events over 2 weeks.

You are doing the right thing with your son(s) by talking to them....and the MOST powerful thing you can do is continue showing them how you are dealing with life now without alcohol.

Drinking impacts kids in so many ways. I sure thought I was being careful not to be around the kids when I was sloppy drunk or even buzzed. By the time they were teens...they knew I wasn't jut falling to sleep early on the couch at night....they knew I was passed out.

You also do well to avoid others who are drunk - there is no reasoning with irrational people and when we drink we are nowhere near rational. How receptive is hubby to heart-to-hearts when he is not drinking? I know in my relationship...resolution comes about with honest, caring communication...rather than angry confrontation. Believe me....I've beaten my head bloody with confrontation...even as justified as it may be...it never gets to yes.

Kas...you sure have a colorful way with words....I must remember the 10 pounds of poo saying! I'm with you....it's great to wake up feeling great.

Off to the doc with hopes he'll clear me to go forth and be normal....

[Lavande]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

Thank God someone finally started the Daily thread :H
I was on earlier but too lazy/rushed to get the thread started. Thanks Kaslo

Turnagain, hope you get your medical clearance

LVT, have you thought about Alanon/Alateen? Just asking.......
For Teens

My husband's little sister attended alateen meetings which helped her in someways. The best thing for her turned out to be leaving home right after high school & never returning. Although my in-laws had been divorced for a long time my FIL's alcoholic behavior & my MIL's eternal judgmental thinking created a very unhealthy environment. Now you know why YB & his brothers are so bizarre

OK, lunch break is over. I am on a serious house cleaning mission today!!!!
Grateful to be unhung so I can to what I want to do

Lav

[Treya]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

Yawn.....
Well I may be late but at least I know what day it is Kaslo :H

[Lavande]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

Damn, I didn't even notice the date Treya :H

[Kaslo]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

What? Did I get the date wrong? I never did pay any attention to that stuff.

Good day to all coming before and following, The suggestion re Alateen or Alanon is really a good one. Very similar to Turnaround, by the time my kids were teens they KNEW I was not just asleep on the couch. I was passed out cold. Like Turn I considered myself the master of disguise, but they knew a lot of the booze or hangover fired arguments, irrational outbursts, etc were directly attributable to my problem. Which was MY problem, not theirs. We had lots of good times but I did do things I am not proud of. Kids deserve and have the right to sober and rational parenting. normal parenting. Parents that listen. Respect boundaries. Give teens space and a chance to make decisions. And there is nothing normal about a drunk parent on the couch, that people have to tip toe around, who's obvious first priority is AL.

My own mother was an evening tippler and a passer out on the couch type. She was suspicious controlling irrational cold and a snob. But since I did some of those same things I have to say I think you have to put what kids have a right to first. There is a tendency for recovering drunks to need a lot of ME time. That's not always best for the rest of the tribe obviously.

If I could go back that is one thing I would try to fix, and that is the disgraceful behavior in front of my young girls. If I could hook them up with someone who can not only help them understand it, but shield themselves from it and not end up there themselves. And I know that teens really need a non parent to talk to about this too. As parents we can guide and suggest and provide good examples, but some of the best absorbed lessons (good and bad) come from friends, Pastors, parents of friends, school councillors and ... Alateen.

I would really like to hear from people on here whos kids have had experience with Alateen ???? While I can say my bit, actual real experience with this would help.

Kas

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

Hi all! Another zoom zoom for me. The small rest break around mid terms is definitely over!

On kids and AL and what they know and when. I was :egad: in my human development class to find out that little newborn babies respond to the smell of alcohol on their Moms for Moms who drink.

We are going to have debates in class where we have teams on opposite sides of some controversial issues such as legalize pot? yes or no. Raise or lower drinking age? Should nicotine and/or tobacco be illegal? Etc. That will be fun. I'm sure there will be some surprising pieces of information out there that could change my mind on some things. My opinion about death penalty was swayed in that way - used to support but now I oppose based on new experiences / information.

The treatment world is changing. The fact that interventions are often happening much sooner (before a devasting "bottom") is causing a need for a more flexible range of treatment approaches and some new attitudes. I think I'm getting into this at a good time. Uni, is that what you are hearing in Canada too?

Hi Kaz, LVT, Turnagain, Treya, Lav, and all yet to come! One thing is for sure.....drinking and homework don't go together, so today I choose homework.

DG

[Turnagain]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

okay - I am cleared for action. I shall attack the garage. The snow will be hear soon and it is soooooo nice to have a warm car in the morning.

[Lavande]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

Good for you Turnagain :yay:
Now don't overdue........

Spent the day chasing dog hair & cobwebs but I'm not done yet.....another day or two, maybe :H

I'm expecting my daughter & Lily here Friday for th eday. Lily is crawling now & I hate it when babies end up with dog hair on their hands, yuck. I hope I don't see snow until January

Where is Det this week?

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

Bah. My friend I helped get to rehab yesterday? Her husband was with us at the hospital because the doc would only release her to a family member. We were supposed to all stay together while we got her prescriptions filled, went home for her to pack some stuff, and then to the rehab. Her husband split at soon as we got out the door of the hospital and was rather miffed about the delay in her release as he nearly missed his T-time.

He has been texting me now for 2 days wanting to know if I know where some money is. He didn't ask if she got to rehab OK...just about the money. What a peach of a guy. No wonder she drank. Needless to say, I am ignoring him.

DG

PS - neither me nor my friend was disappointed that he had a golf date to get to yesterday.....

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

OK. Still venting about friend's husband.

Non-sandwich text summary, with names changed to protect:

Yesterday - Text #1 4PM: Mary texted me at 3:30 that she will be without her cell phone for at least a week. Where is she? Did you take her to rehab? Where is the money I gave her if she needed it for prescriptions?

Me: Mary is checked into rehab. I stayed with her. She checked in at 3:30. Standard practice to disallow cell phones during Instensive Inpatient.

Him: How much were her prescriptions? Does she have the money? Do you have the money?

Me: Ignore

Him: You must not have got my message. Where is the money?

Me: Ignore

Today:

Him: OK. So I think I get it. You don't want to get involved because this is none of your business. That's fine. Where is the money?

Me: Ignore

Him: Just tell me where the money is

Me: Ignore.

What I want to say: YOU ASSHOLE!!!!! You had it right when you said I was refusing to get involved.

But of course, that would be feeding the troll. Which I am not going to do.

DG

[Lavande]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

Wow DG,
That guy really is an a$$hole. What a shame

Reminds me of all the years I put up with YB's 'clients' (when he was still working for the PD). They used to call our home & sometimes even come to the door - yikes!!!
Did I ever mention that I didn't marry a cop? He got that job the year after we were married - swell.....

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

Yikes Lav. I can't imagine what sort of "clients" you had at your door! :egad:

Yeah...my friends situation makes me so sad. Who knows if she will really have the courage to divorce him. Nobody can *make* us drink, but I do think some relationships are SO toxic that a woman ends up feeling very hopeless. And I think it's that hopelessness that is triggering relapses.

This dude reminds me of con man which is probably why he bothers me SO much.

Thanks for listening......you all are the best. :h

DG

[Lavande]

AF Daily Tuesday 26 October

Hopelessness does indeed trigger relapses......been there & done it

I credit the birth of my first grandson EB for getting me out of that & I won't go back - ever
I hope your friend can find a new reason to break the pattern.