AF Daily - Friday November 4

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

ItsJustMe;1203433 wrote: Hey Dudes.

I'm having a really hard time this afternoon. For some reason depression has really set in. Had some issues with a friend. Mrs. IJM is out of town for the next two days. I know I shouldn't but my mind keeps telling me to have a night off the wagon. I'm getting a haircut now and there is a package store right next door.

I sort of feel like that that would cure the depression. But I also know that I would not be really happy with myself tomorrow. But mrs ijm is out and my friend and I had a parting of the ways. She was a huge support system.

Hopefully I can talk myself out of this funk. It's just as it gets later it seems to get harder.

Sorry to drop a bunch of drama but I sort of needed to get it out if my system.

Dude. AL is a CNS Depressant. A depressant will not cure depression! :b&d: Are you still taking your Antabuse????? I hope you can find some activities to raise up your endorphins and be peaceful until Mrs. IJM returns. :l


UNI!!!!! :yougo:CONGRATULATIONS ON 5 MONTHS AF!!!!:yougo:


Hi to one and all. Busy day today and very stressed about my final tomorrow. I'm seeing with clarity how my perfectionism and active alcoholism were tied together. I am taking a deep breath, had a long walk, and am going to relax a bit this evening, then of course get up frightfully early to get to school, and do a last review of my notes before class starts.

I hope I can learn to calm myself about tests. But if not, at least it's only a 2 year program! :H

One thing is for sure..

DG

[Turnagain]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

DoggyG - sending positive good test vibes your way. You have prepared well and you know your stuff.
What you're learning has been a help to all of us here. It's like we learning for free. Rest well knowing we deeply appreciate all the paper crappin' you've been doing!

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

holy crap. had to resort to my cellular modem to get online today after last nights snow/wind storm. yes, there's snow on the ground here! eeeeek!

IJM, please remember the classic axiom: "when the cat is away, the mouse drinks until it pukes all over itself"

ok, that might have been my own personal version at any rate please keep yourself busy and happy. maybe check out a local AA meeting if you need some one-on-one?

Universal, so proud of you dear. you are a shining star. XXXXXXX

off zooming around,

be well everyone

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

IJM,
C'mon dude ~ you can do this!
For the rest of our lives we are going to have to find some way to emotionally soothe ourselves! Sometimes meditation is really good, sometimes digging a ditch or some other physical exercise helps. Wanna come over & clean up my chicken house?? Now there's an activity that will dissrupt your depression & break your back at the same time :H

DG, don't forget darling you already have one degree so you somehow already know how to take tests. Stay cool lady - you'll do just fine

AFM, glad you checked in tonight! Wish I could do or say something to help :l

M3, hope you get thru your weekend OK!

Turn, 100 days + now - very good!!!!

Thought I was just going to work all evening but my newest BF Will decided to hang out here while his parents go out to dinner. EB is in NJ this weekend with his other grandparents. Dating a 7 month old - I really have no life :H

[ItsJustMe]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

Thanks Dudes ?

I guess I am sort of out of the woods. I passed up the package store and headed home. I really don?t feel much like being out. There is not a lot of temptation around the house. Mrs. IJM has an occasional drink but I?m pretty sure there isn?t any AL around. So the strongest thing here is some cooking Sherry that I used last night on some chicken ? tried a new recipe last night ? it turned out to be somewhere between sucks and fills your stomach?.

You know, it?s really strange how the mind works (or at least my warped one). I know Al is a depressant. But I still want it when I am really down and I have been pretty down today. In ?real life? I am not a very sociable person ? somewhat introverted. So, I don?t have a large number of what I would call really close friends ? the kind of person that has seen my ups and also my downs and still remains my friend!  I had one and then of course there is my very best friend for life ? Mrs. IJM. So, when I lost my support system at work today I took a really big emotional hit. Not meaning to sound sappy but just putting it out there.

Turnagain ? I wish you were here too. I?d take you to a really scary movie ? Paranormal Activity 3 ? I?d go myself but I am not much at going to movies by myself. And I don?t want to be that creepy old guy setting by himself in the theater. Wasn?t Pee Wee Herman in a theater by himself when he got arrested for pleasuring himself?.. Not that I would do that though!!!!

I?ve been pretty active the past couple of weeks ? running one day and swimming laps the next. I?ve actually dropped a few pounds. But I think I may order a pizza and rent something on pay per view. Since Mrs. IJM is not here I may get really wild and drink milk out of the carton and stay up past 10! Who knows.

Anyway, it was helpful just putting this out there. I?ve missed a few days of posts so I need to go back and read some.

Thanks for being out there for me.

IJM

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

((((IJM)))) You done good! You deserve a pizza, a movie, and drinking milk out of the carton. We love you! :h

Thank you all for your words of support about my school work and test. My old test taking formula doesn't work any more. That's because it was this:

Test looming + Stress = Procrastinate + Al to the 10th power + Cram

That's how I stayed in balance. Take Al to the 10th power out of the equation and there is way too much stress for any sort of balance!

Off to the showers and hopefully a good night sleep. Hopefully some L-tryp, valerian root, and magnesium will help that along.

One thing is for sure...new test taking equations are evolving.

DG

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

Greetings Fabberoo's near and far!

Happy 5 months AF Uni! You're rockin' it!

IJM, hope you're okay there. Going back to day 1 is boring, useless, (EDIT: actually turned out useful for me) and a lot of work.

I'm sure you've read this https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

but i find it never hurt's to read it again and again to re-focus on why i have stopped drinking.

Best wishes folk's, and a safe, sober, and magical weekend to all.

One thing's for sure.........

[sunshine_gg]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

:goodjob: IJM! Go for that milk outta the carton, you rebel! :H

DG, hope you're calm and sleepy by now - you will do awesome! You've so much determination and discipline with studying.. you will pass with flying colors.

AFM - so glad you checked in. You've been on my mind. :l to you. Not much else we can do for you from here

Lav, perhaps you and I should get into a new business venture. Therapeutic Activities. You offer up your chicken coop.. I'll gladly hand out forks for mucking stalls. How about it? :H

Mr. G.. always good to see ya!

Oven beeping. Better check before the dinner bell (aka smoke alarm) goes off! Night all!!!

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

:H Until you've cleaned out a chicken coop you really have no idea :H
That activity set you straight - every time :H

My BF fell alseep

[sunshine_gg]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

Lavande;1203552 wrote: Until you've cleaned out a chicken coop you really have no idea
That activity set you straight - every time :H

My BF fell alseep

So you tuckered him out.. you wild woman, you! :H

Oh, I so know about cleaning out the coop... takes stamina and somewhat of a strong stomach

I'm not sure if I ever shared this photo... the lead hen in my last flock was determined to become an indoor chicken.. snuck in what ever chance she got. That time, she even brought friends...

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

:H Love it Sunni - I think I did see that pic before

OK, so here's my date before he fell asleep - I think it was the jump seat that tucked him out :H

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

OMG Sunni-that is hysterical!! Love the pic, your dog and the hens!!

IJM-I'm so sorry I'm just seeing your post for help now but so very happy that you were able to surf the crave wave and let it peter itself out. Good on you!! I defo know where you're coming from. It seems the only time I ever want to say F**k it and go get a bottle is when I'm down. It's definitely a self destruction thing with me. But I know I have to learn how to deal with life's downs a different way. We'll learn together, OK?

DG-you'll do fine on your exam. You KNOW this material!! And the fact that you are AF has you sailing far above how you used to prepare and preform. Can't wait to hear all about it.

M3-have a great training weekend at the yoga studio. It's all gonna be so worth it!!

AFM-Great to hear from you! Glad you had minimal side effects but the whole vision thing sucks! hope the specialist can help you!

Lav-you and your young BFs :H!!

Hey Mr G-so glad you are checking in more often!

Did I see Chief here earlier??

Uni-great job on 5 months!! Keep kicking ass!!

Deter-you always know the right things to say!! "when the cat is away, the mouse drinks until it pukes all over itself" Love ya!!

So, the NH job may be history soon. Tonite was my first night alone and it did not go well. Lets just say that when I reached out to the Nursing Supervisor for help, I did not get it and I think he is in big trouble. I was very proud of myself tho. I didn't want to get into a discussion with him about the whole incident because I wanted my boss to deal with it but he kept trying to talk about it so I told him clearly and calmly (even tho I was furious) what my "issue" was. I have NEVER been able to deal with confrontation in the past. I have gotten emotional, tongue tied etc. Since I've been AF, all that awkwardness has gone away as has a lot of the unwarranted anger. This is the second time I've had to deal with an important issue and stand up for myself since I've been AF and I am so surprised at how easily the words come out now, how fluid my thought process is and how non emotional I am!! If this isn't an ad for being AF I don't know what is!! Anyway, I was able to speak with my boss tonite and she is mortified that my first nite was such a mess. She's very scared I will quit. I told her that for now Sundays are OK since they don't involve the "at risk" residents but unless something changes dramatically, I won't be able to do the week nites the way it is set up. I will go in Monday because she will be there as we have a harpist coming in plus she will have had an opportunity to speak with the Dir. of Nursing by then. But I've told her I'm no longer willing to put myself or the residents at risk.

Tea is ready, I'm exhausted so I will say goodnite. Oh, my bro finally has power back!!

[bear73]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

HEY HEY - WHIZZING IN BUSY DAY - LAST NIGHT I WAS TIRED GRUMPY AND HUNGRY AND DESPERATELY WANTED A DRINK.
SORRY ABOUT CAPS - RUSHING. Not much to say so didn't feel like starting new thread.

So I had a snooze, drove to friends for take out indian food and dvd and thought about how there is never just one - noticed how much wine my friend was putting away and also the fact that my other friend and OH were having 1 as busy days(and clearly not struggling with it).I am not like that. I didn't want one once i rode the urge - I am happy and af today feeling bright.

We're off for bonfire night do with friends - driving home - so no choice/no alcohol - and up early for skating tomorrow.

I think I am at 2 weeks now - I am really starting to look at jobs - and saving almost half my salary each month so if it gets too bad - I can just leave.

IJM - i hope you feel better today and treated yourself - is it work stuff?
UNI WELL DONE!!!:goodjob:

All of you - I'm so glad you are here - and that I am here and that I can see my life getting better.:h

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

P3 - YOU ROCK!!!!! Good for you. Amazing how AL boomerangs on us over time, and the things we thought AL helped us with are actually made worse in the end.

Bear, your post made me think of something. Maybe every time we think "I want a drink..." We should just make ourselves say/think that one over again and change "drink" to "drunk." Becuase for me, if I had a drink, there were more coming and it was always a 'drunk." I can pretty easily see that a "drunk" is not something I want, even if the fantasy of a "drink" sounds pretty good.

Off for my test - send me smart vibes please!!!!

One thing is for sure..

DG

[bear73]

AF Daily - Friday November 4

smart vibes DG - I like the thinking 'just one' through to what it would be in reality - a 'drunk' - or hideous hangover,wasted day, feeling blue and lethargic.

i also like the gratitude for being free rather than deprivation of 'I can't drink' (really I can -I choose not to because life is better - off to practice switching my perspective now