sat 12 nov

[bear73]

hey all - been lurking not really posting - manic week at work although projects have got off ground now and progress has been made so I am feeling more positive. I also have a three day weekend! Major lesson for me - don't let others actions/behaviour dictate my mood - major part of work unhappiness is relationships - change what i can - let go of what i can't - it's not all about me.

I had BAD wine cravings last night - Friday night feeling and didn't make it to spa - instead i sat with cats/dozed in front of tv and had nice shop bought burger and chips - was craving mcdonalds - glad i had the slightly healthier option.

I am working on positive thinking/cultivating gratitude that i have caught my problem with alcohol before it really ruins my health/life/relationships/finances/job.It's so easy to get into pity party mode of 'poor me it's so unfair i can't have just one etc etc' well I can occasionally have just one but nine times out of ten it will be 5/6 in an evening - and along with that come all the consequences that I don't want in my life.

I also feel like a huge failure because of my limited success at being af - BUT if i put all the time together it's a long time - probably 98% of the time. That helps me to stay af - not make drinking ok - rather than dwelling on the drinking (I know why i drank - and that is important- and can take steps to avoid/handle those situations differently).

I am focused on getting back into exercise this weekend/next week - cycling to work and asking friends if i can go with them to exercise classes - I will see lovely people and get my exercise!I have also ordered a slow cooker(crock pot to most of you) curry book - mmmm.

This weekend - lunch with friend today/watching rollerderby/tomorrow playing rollerderby and seeing OH's mum for sandwiches/cake.
Good weekend all to come.

merry - hope you are feeling better - this will pass - keep with us.

[Determinator]

sat 12 nov

Happy Saturday ABerooos!

Bear thanks for the great introspective kickstart.

Playland, if your reading you've found the right place

well, I'll be back much later tonight as today is a big tradeshow at a casino (ugh!) but I'll be just fine.
gotta look after my power-drinker coworkers.

will sneak back in for a check-in on my phone if I can

be well everyone

[universal]

sat 12 nov

Morning abbers! Hi Bear, glad you are feeling better and that you are thinking through things instead of drinking. The AF life is way better.

We slept in a bit this morning - we all needed it I think! Feeling better today. Hockey game this afternoon (I know, shocking) and then not sure what the rest of the day holds. We will make it a good one though.

I hope everyone has a great AF Saturday!

[sunshine_gg]

sat 12 nov

Morning FABbies!

Bear, I can relate to so much of your post.
Det, love you looking after your power drinker co-workers!
Uni, have a great time at hockey... and BREATHE!

I'm off to work on - you guessed it - the barn. We should be ready to pick up and stack 200 square bales of hay tomorrow! Whoohoo! That should take me through the worst of winter. Right now, I have to go every 4-5 days and pick up 10 bales at a time. A bit of a pain.

Also gonna work on covering the boat. We use a huge silver tarp, so it looks like a giant herhsey kiss Anywhoo, that's a big job, too - be glad when that's done and over with.

And that'll be my weekend, I reckon. Thankfully, I can do all of this with a clear head. One thing is for sure... I have no time for AL today.

[Lavande]

sat 12 nov

Good morning Abbers!!!!!!

bear, I also need to remember not to let the actions of others affect me so much. It takes a lot of work but it's worth it in the end

Det, do you get paid extra for babysitting your coworkers/ :H
You are a good guy & I hope they appreciate you!

Uni, sleeping late is cool ~ did it myself today
Happy hockey game, stay calm!

Sunni, can you have that hay delivered? I see people getting huge deliveries like that around here - especially the guy across the road (he has a small horse farm). That reminds me, I need to get a few bales of straw to toss around the yard so the chickens don't sink in the mud :H

Woke up to an email from YB - always a wonder.
He wants to come over at noon & go out to lunch. Why? I have no idea
Well, at least it's a free lunch.

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Saturday!
Lav

[LVT25]

sat 12 nov

Hello friends,

Thanks for starting us off today Bear. You are so insightful, I feel a sense of sadness in your posts. I hope you find the af life you seem to want so much. Its not all sunshine and roses, but it beats being drunk and or hungover!:l

Treya congrats on 4 months! Turnagain--111 days on 11.11.11---pretty cool! I love the moose photo too. We see lots of deer and turkeys--no moose. Would like to hear you howl like a wolf--made me chuckle.:H

Lav--your grandsons are adorable--I love the hat as well. It didn't look like a booger on EB's finger, so that is a good thing!

Sunni--I can just smell your new barn! The scent of fresh lumber, a bunch of newly stacked hay.....mmmmm! I would def save a spot for yourself in there!

Det--I can also smell your smokey icky casino--eww! I've been to Vegas a few times for conventions--it was way more fun when I was a drinker and smoker. Last time we went, I didn't drink, smoke or gamble! Or--wake up with any hangovers! No wonder you are always so glad to get home to your lovely wife!

DG-so glad your BIL found his hunting dog! One smart dog there! She probably thought she hit the jackpot there!

Speaking of hunting. #1 son is at a friend's house hunting turkeys, and #2 son is with his dad hunting deer. I slept in. I've never really gotten in to the hunting, but glad they do some father/son stuff. #1 son has never been as into it as #2 son--would rather sleep. He spent the night with his friend, it drove me a little crazy as I did not check up on him. But this particular friend is a really good kid. He is so down to earth and has a good head on his shoulders. The situation with my friend's son and my son and the basketball jersey could cause some really hard feelings. But there are already hard feelings, so I am going to back out and let them work it out however.

I did something at work Ihope I never have to do again and that is the grave for the infant. Never want to see a tiny casket again. How very sad. In the past a day like that would have sent me into one big drunken night! Last night however, I had a candle party and then had to pick up my son at a "party" at 11:00 pm. It is so nice to be sober all the time instead of trying to figure out how I was going to be able to do these things. On the way home the clock turned 11:11. Son said to make a wish so i did.

Ok, I'm sure you're tired of my rambling so I will move on. It is about time to get dressed and do something constructive today. I have to drive to Walgreens 45 miles awy to pick up son's meds. Some friends from out of town will probably want to get together tonight. Maybe we can get them to come here--don't feel like a bar scene tonight. YAWN!

Have fun at soccer Uni---I was pretty shocked at your story about the soccer mom that said it was ok for the violence--10 year olds?? Nice sportsmanship.

Our Huskers play Penn state today. Some concern about how their fans are going to act after the terrible news about their past assistant coach!

Have a good sober day all!:h

[Turnagain]

sat 12 nov

g'day all...

Bear...glad to hear from you again...it's good you've been able to make time to read posts even when it's been to hectic for you to chime in. I can definitely attribute much of the success I am having now to the support I get here. Another difference for me between my drunk days and my sober life is that I worked purposefully to drive out all feelings of deprivation. That was not easy in my noisy busy brain. Each time I found myself thinking...I wish I could...it's too bad I can't...maybe someday I will be okay to....drink....I immediately replaced it with true appreciation for all I have gained from living AF.

I am so glad I can wake up without a hangover. I am thrilled to have my self-respect back. My skin is just glowing. nope...no room for al .....not even in the thought space. You are a rollerderby babe, right Bear? Do you have a performance nickname....something like the BASHER? Give those negative thoughts a hipcheck over the rails!

Uni I was a hockey mom for nearly 15 years. I know how upsetting it is when your kid gets hurt especially when there is stupid intent. Have you ever thought about scooting off the bleachers and getting on the ice yourself? My son inspired me to play hockey....I started at the age of 42. Back in those early days...my son helped me nail down my wrist shot. It was great bonding. I still play....I'll be back on the ice in January once everything is mended. It's a great way to get your ya-yas out...but not nearly as sexy as rollerderby! That opportunity passed for me about 20 years ago!

Sunni ...you are going to be soooooo buff by the time the barn be done! I bet you will feel so darn good when you get everything tucked away for the winter.

LVT...sounds like you've got the full-tilt Daniel Boone thing going on - it will be nice to have a full freezer. Do you have any tricks for prepping wild turkeys? My dad always brought one home for Thanksgiving. Oh how I longed for the Butterball growing up. Now, I miss the the tasty, but tough wild ones.

Det...I just missed you in chat last night....I would've asked to see a few photos of your swords! I also want to see some of that thermoplastic molding work you do...wishing you good sales today so your sword collection can grow!

Lav....we will be expecting a full debriefing on this mysterious lunch invitation. Maybe YB is ready to work on that depression AND truly appreciate what a rare gem you are...

[Lavande]

sat 12 nov

Lunch was good - I paid the bill :H
I truly believe YB is trying, finally to pull his head out of his A$$ but he certainly has a long way to go :H
As long as he keeps trying.......

LVT, as a Penn State alumna (my son, brother & his wife also alumni) this week has been absolutely sickening!
I so clearly remember sitting in a class called Morals & Ethics - HELLO! WTF were those guys thinking of to allow such abuse to go on & on. It always comes down to the almight buck!!!! Damn!
Congrats to Nebraska on today's game - I caught the last bit of it on TV!

Turn, I can't believe you are willing to put yourself in skates & get back on the ice after two surgeries.
Wow, you are a better womanthan I am. I much prefer when things are not fractured & hurting :H
Hope you're wrist is healing nicely

[Doggygirl]

sat 12 nov

fABbies!!! Still bathing in all that good karma from 11-11-11!!!

Thanks bear for kicking us off today with some great reflection! YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!!! We suffer from a chronic, relapsing disorder. The ONLY way to fail is to stop trying!!! (ok, end of :soapbox: )

Det. Casino trade show. I'll ugh right along with you!!!

Welcome Playland if you are someone looking for us!

Happy Hockey Uni!! Sleeping in sounds nice!

Lav, do you even say "no today is not a good day. How about Tuesday for dinner?" or something like that? I'm just wondering if it's all at YB's whim. Here I go being a :b&d: again. If you ever want me to shut up just say so, OK our dear Lav? We love you! (YB...not so much)

LVT - I can't imagine having to dig a grave for a child like that. :l

Wow on the hockey Turnagain! :egad: Can we get some video? I bet it's WILD out there!

Sunni - I am laughing thinking about a giant hershey kiss in your yard!

Lav...YOU PAID?????? YB has a lot to learn about taking a fine lady to lunch. That is all.

The whole Penn State mess is so sad. Those poor kids.... I can't even imagine.

Childhood abuse (sexual or otherwise) is a hugely correlated with substance abuse issues later in life. A lifetime of mental anguish for one moment of.......whatever that is.....for the coach. Tragic.

Well, you can see what's going on in my life from my new avatar. Other than that....back to the books!!! At least it's FOOD I'm retaining and not ALCOHOL. One thing is for sure...

DG

[sunshine_gg]

sat 12 nov

Half time check-in! Well, maybe not half time but I'm headed back out again in a bit

It turned into a beautiful day here and I took a little bit of time out to groom horses. I took them into the round pen one by one to have some quality time with each. Well, Trouble (the 'new' 25 year old) had me in tears this afternoon. 3x he untied himself from the pen when I wasn't looking (as in brushing his rear end or such).. he didn't go anywhere, just stood and looked at me with the lead rope in his mouth :H :H His previous owner had warned me that gate latches, etc. were no match for him. I'm starting to believe her! He's incredibly efficient and nonchalant about the whole thing

Anyways, just thought I'd share. Kinda was my highlight today

[Lavande]

sat 12 nov

:H Sunni, Trouble sounds a lot like my piggy swissy :H
Somehow or another the latch on my gate popped open this afternoon & I had chickens running around everywhere:H Holy Cow!!!!

DG, I am trying to remain neutral where YB is concerned.
I am not putting any pressure on him ~ it's senseless like beating someone who is already down. I can't bring myself to do that
Everyone & anyone who has seen him knows that's he's suffering enough from his own internal struggling/beatings. There's no need for me to do anything but stand back, show him by good example how 'normal' people live & behave.......
I will apply for sainthood at some point before I leave this earth (just kidding)

If anyone is interested -
I just read that Black Sabbath is reuniting for a 2012 world tour :H

[Doggygirl]

sat 12 nov

Lavande;1207582 wrote: :I just read that Black Sabbath is reuniting for a 2012 world tour :H

OMG - how old are they now????? I would NOT want front row seats. That is all.

Lav, we ARE going to nominate you for sainthood. :l :angel:

Sunni - that is so :H about your knot magician!

Off to find the Sunday thread....

DG

[Accountable for Me]

sat 12 nov

Doggygirl;1207803 wrote: OMG - how old are they now????? I would NOT want front row seats. That is all. DG

Me either!!!! :H