tripping over my thoughts

[if dreams were horses]

I was on this site a while ago under Litres, but my account was hacked and lost everything, so I am here starting fresh.
Alot has happened since I was on here last, the one I am most concerned about is the amount I drink. I want to stop, but do not know how, I know all of you have been here and done that, some even have the tshirt, so can you walk me through this.
Stopping is the first thing, but how when the cravings are there, I did it before for three months, but I was living with someone who would literally drive anyone to drink, and that is what I did. Then when I was on my own, I stopped again for 1 month, but started again, now I am like an unsupervied passenger train heading down a steep mountain, I do not want to hit that bottom, I want to glide into it and take control.
So again, please anyone and everyone, help me out and give me some pointers on how to control this train. Thanks lease:

[papmom3]

tripping over my thoughts

Hey Dream-Welcome Back!! You have taken the first step by admitting you can't do this alone. You have a fresh start now so let's make the best of it.

Start at the very beginning-read the MWO book again, get the supps anyway you can, break out those CDs if you have them and come on here every minute of the day if you have to. Read back on posts that seem relevant and interesting to you, create new posts, hop into the Newbies Nest and velcro yourself in for the long haul. Go into chat when the going gets rough or anytime really and most importantly, read through the Tool Box thread, make your plan and stick to it!! There are also a lot of books out there people are recommending that can be a big help.

Seriously consider AA or SMART or Women in Sobriety if you are female. If you said previously, "Oh no, those aren't for me" rethink that attitude and give it a whirl. They may not be right for you but you won't know until you try. You must break out every tool in your arsenal if you really want to succeed on this journey. And you must put you and your sobriety at the top of your list and let NO ONE distract you from your path.

You asked...... hope this helps!!

[papmom3]

tripping over my thoughts

Get lost TROLL!!!

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

First I have to say love your trailer, and yes I will keep trying, but what about the cravings, I did not have a problem before, but now I do. When I quit, that was all it took, but after months of bitching from my ex, I had to drown him out, instead of just drowning him. Then when I was on my own I quit again, but I still went back. Now I am worse and do not like it.

[papmom3]

tripping over my thoughts

Hi Dream,
The cravings do go away after a while but sometimes we need help. I found the supplements, especially Kudzo and L-Glut very helpful. The whole regimen of supplements, what to take, how much and when is in the book addendum. After 6 weeks, you should be able to cut down on the supps and the physical cravings should be much less. The psychological cravings however you do need to address right away. Many of us were "evening" drinkers only and our witching hour was on the way home from work and/or when making dinner and then relaxing afterwards. You are going to need to find other activities to distract you. I did retail therapy which helped-got a lot of mall walking in almost every night but I also maxxed out my credit cards. I would recommend other things like hitting the gym or library or a support group on your way home from work. A lot of us have rediscovered meditation, reading and long lost crafts. I now work a part time job 3 nights a week plus Sundays, do agility on Wednesday nites and Quilting (this is brand new for me) on Tuesdays. I have NO time to drink that's for sure and I love my new life!! Just being able to go to work clear headed and not hung over was such a huge positive in my life that the other activities are frosting. I handle things better, my anger issues are less and I can actually tolerate my boss now! :H I feel calmer, more focused and have much much more energy. I also have discovered that I can now stand up for myself and state my issues with clarity instead of stumbling over my words and getting angry. And the best part of all? I don't neglect my pets anymore! Everyone gets fed on time and let out to potty and litter boxes cleaned regularly. My house also is cleaner and neater and I actually get projects done.

So, Dream, all the above became possible when I quit AL. Cravings? Bah. I don't tolerate no stinkin' cravings. They are just the Beast trying to wear me down and I am stronger than he. You can be too.

[timpin]

tripping over my thoughts

Hi Dreams

Welcome and let's see if we can all help each other get out of this mess we find ourselves in ! I think that everyone here knows what you are going through because most have been there themselves, me included ! I really do believe that to have a chance of success then first you have to get things right in your own mind and that means accepting that you have a problem with AL. The next step is to decide how to do something about it and that is probably where you are right now. We all have to accept that AL does NOTHING for us at all. It never makes us feel good, never ever. We all know that once we can get away from it then we will feel better for it. It took me ages to get my mindset right before I attempted to abstain and I am now 15 days AF. The first three days were the worst and it took about seven days before I slept properly again. However it was well worth it. I now look forward to going to bed and getting a really good nights sleep ! One thing I have discovered is that when you are a heavy drinker as I was then you are limited to what you can drink. For me it was either lager or white wine. Now I can drink whatever flavours I like and as much as I like..great feeling ! MY next step is conditioning myself to be frightened of AL. Yes, I really want to be frightened at the thought of having just one drink ! Reason being that I don't want to have to got through all of that again. I want to wake up with a clear head and enjoy my day rather than spend half of it recovering from the night before.

Like everyone on here, I am still very vulnerable and probably always will be, however I like the feeling of my new life and in some ways feel that I have missed out on the last twenty years of my life. 15 days is not a lot, I know, but I feel so full of life and you will too if you can crack this. If it's any help, I did find that the cravings were nowhere as bad as I thought they would be, but I still remain on my guard as that little voice in my head is never going to go away. Good luck and I hope you are able to give yourself a quit date and then go for it. You really will be pleased you did it !

[DriftyAlison0]

tripping over my thoughts

If you have done it before, you can do it again!. Take it ODAAT and reread the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html and set up a plan and stick to it. The cravings will go away with time. I have tried to quit so many times. Some were harder then others. This quit is different. Sure it has it hard moments, but knowing that I want to quit for good and I was ready to quit, made this quit so much easier. I will never drink again. I still use my support team and probably always will. Also set up a support group both online and offline and set up stuff to do when the cravings hit!

[BlondeAFAmbition]

tripping over my thoughts

Hi, I just wanted to show my support Dreams and wish you the best of luck. I am still fairly new to the game myself and have done really well in the past and then slipped and came back here a few times. This is the 3rd round of really trying to quit for me this time and I'm sticking to it. With the help of MWO, I have managed to tally up 100 sober days for this year and although I did mess up, that is still better than spending those 100 days filled with AL.

I did want to say to PapMom that I was really inspired by your post earlier in this thread and can relate to everything you have said...you wrote it beautifully and spoke the truth. I enjoyed hearing it!

Good luck to everyone on here; be well and be strong. Listen to the voice inside you that brought you here in the first place.

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

Thankyou all who are so helpful, well to top my problem, I recently lost my job, and not because of AL, so I do plan on relocating and re-educating. For now there is not alot for me to occupy my mind with, yes I read, play on the computer, but that still gives you the time to nip a sip, and papmom3 I know about neglecting our babies, my dog is so patient with me I feel guilty.
I have 3 children all live quite far away and I raised them to be independant, too much so I rarely see them, I also have 5 grandchildren, my oldest is almost 11 and she is a dream, I do believe she is the only one keeping me here on earth. I tried to OD last fall after my break up, my sister walked me through it not knowing what she was doing bless her. I finally told my daughter (who is nasty) my siblings would love to strangle her. Instead of trying to be understanding and supportive, all she said was "then get help I do not want to talk about death"
I really do not have a great support system here. I do know of one lady I could call and probably should, she was going to AA and has not had a drink on over 7 months. I will look up everything you said and re-read and re-read and re-read. Thankyou

[Doggygirl]

tripping over my thoughts

Hi dreams. Welcome back. I am so glad you are reaching out for help and not giving up. My alcoholism progressed over a 30+ year stretch until I didn't know how to keep drinking and I didn't know how to stop. Death was looking like a good option at that time. I am horrified now when I think back to that!!! Life can and will get so much better for you. Hang on and believe that you CAN crawl out of that dark place. I did it - lot's of people here have done it - you can do it too.

I was adamant that AA was not an option for me. At some point I "caved" and I'm glad I finally went. If nothing else, it is very soothing to be around people who completely understand me, and how it is with alcohol. Especially since you say you haven't got a particularly strong support network at home, then what do you have to lose by seeing if an outside support network will help? I will also say that meetings all have a slightly different vibe so I always suggest trying several different ones to see what you like.

SMART Recovery and Women for Sobriety also have face to face meetings in some areas. They aren't as big as AA so there tend to be fewer options. But who knows - you may get lucky and have more options than you think!

For me, cravings were HORRIBLE at first. I think the MWO supplements helped take the edge off (although the cravings didn't disappear with those tools - just being honest!) But the horrible cravings don't last forever. The key for me was just hanging in there one day at a time and staying AF. Eventually it gets easier.

Good luck to you. The choice is yours - the tools and support are out here for you.

DG

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

Blonde if you can do it on the third time around so can I, you know what they say, 3rd times the charm. This morning I woke and decided this is my day to start AL free. I will not give in to this, it has only been really bad for the past year, but bad enough that I had a drink instead of coffee. This morning I had camomile tea with other ingredients, supposed to be for sleeping, but I had 2 cups and nothing, so I had coffee instead, oh yea got up at 3:30 our time in Ontario. So I will keep busy, look into my reschooling, and relocating, walk my dog, and read. Keep my mind busy from wanting AL. I am have a positive mind this morning. Wish Me luck and strength. I believe the inner strength is the one I am going to have to battle, but hey I am Scottish and stubborn LOL

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

Also Doggie girl, I like what you put at the bottom of your post
Life is 10% what happens to you 90% how you deal with it
So that gives us such a majority how can we lose. I will continue to believe in the 90%

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

Another question, is being unable to get warm, part of this process??? Because I am freezing.

[Doggygirl]

tripping over my thoughts

Dreams, your body is going through all kinds of changes right now, most likely. Hang in there! All the uncomfortable stuff wills top at some point.

DG

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

Today I start day 2 AF, and if we break it down to the hour, it has be 40 hours, and yes I include the night time, for I made a habit of getting up if I could not sleep and pour myself one in hopes it would help me sleep, but that turned into 2 and so forth.
Yesterday was tuff, but I did it and will again today. Again I woke early and had some chamomile tea so heres hoping I will be able to finish my nights sleep. Still get cold but not as much thankyou DG