tripping over my thoughts

[papmom3]

tripping over my thoughts

hang in there Dreams. OHAT for you. Don't forget to log into chat in the wee hours when you can't sleep-there is always someone on from the other side of the world! There are also lots of webinars out there and podcasts to listen to. HayHouse Radio is a favorite around here. The Chopra Center is good too. Give in to the coldness, don't try to tough it out-put on those extra sweat, dig out that down comforter, light a fire if you have one or turn up the heat, have 2 or 3 cups of tea, heavy socks-you get the idea. The first couple of weeks of detox you need to baby your body and give it good food, lots of water/tea with lemon and keep it warm.
Keep jumping on here and letting us know how you are doing.
Peace and :l

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

I am still having troubles finding my way around here, it seems different from the last time a year ago. I will figure it out soon I hope, thanks for the suggestion of chat, I saw it but never tried. Will do, and yes tea, even though I am cold ice water takes some of the cravings away. Yes my socks are on and heavy sweaters, I realized my bedroom was only 10 degrees celcius, which about 45, no wonder I was cold in there.
I am more determined this time, for I am doing this for me. Thanks MOM3

[retteacher]

tripping over my thoughts

IDWH: I tried over & over again to stop drinking. Sometimes I'd accumulate a few months even, but I always went back. I finally had a terrible drinking experience in March of '09 which managed to bust my denial. I was a functional alcoholic & told myself I wasn't so bad...as if daily drinking, blacking out, vomiting & hangovers are normal.

After I hit bottom w/that experience, I decided to come clean w/friends & family (I was pretty good at hiding my drinking) gave AA a try. It was frightening for this 60+ grandmother, but nothing else had worked for me. I've made friends in the program. I've got a support group that keeps me sober.

I haven't given up my normal drinking friends. I find that alcohol no longer has any appeal for me. I can look at a sweating glass of chardonnay & not feel tempted. I'm grateful for that.

Good luck. AA isn't for everyone, but it worked for me. You'll find the right solution. Don't ever give up...ever!

Mary

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

Thankyou Mary, not sure if I hit bottom, I am so close to it I can reach out and touch it, I have lost my job, not because of Al, I lost my relationship, and he used that as an excuse, I was relpaced before I left. I remember him telling me take my glass of wine with me in the car, I was totally shocked, he said it was okay, just do not let anyone see it. That is how I know Al was not the cause. I have found myself alone in a small town after I relocated for this relationship. I also gave up all possessions and had to start fresh. So for this past year I have been licking my wounds, and in doing so began to really drink. I too am a Grandmother and I want my Grandchildren to be proud of me. I want my children to be also, but most of all I want to be proud of myself,and this time I am stopping for myself, I do have ulterior motives, but it is all for me. I am tired of not feeling well, being dizzy, drinking instead of eating, telling people was sick, I am tired of drinking from sunup to sunset, and after. I lost a bit of time at work from drink, but not enough to make me loose my job. Not sure if eventually I will be able to do moderate drinking, have thought I would like to but not sure yet.

[retteacher]

tripping over my thoughts

I've found out from hearing other people's stories in AA that I am an alcoholic even though:
-I didn't lose my job.
-I didn't lose my home.
-I didn't lose my marriage/kids.
-I didn't hit a hugely low bottome.

I'm an alcoholic, because I:
-couldn't stop once I started.
-hid my drinking.
-pretended to be sober when I wasn't
-hid bottles.
-had many physical side effects.
-etc.

The sober way of life is indescribably freeing. I still say/do dumb stuff, but it's not because I'm drunk. I remember everything, because I no longer black out.

Mary

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

You are so right I did many of those things, especially could not stop once I started, I definately hid my drinking. Right now I have stopped and going into day 3 AF, and over 60 hrs, I will soon stop the hours for they will not be that important to me. I still am extrememly tired, and wake up at horrible times early in the morning, but I feel my energy coming back.

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

So today is the beginning of day 4. I was able to sleep in later, at least till 5:30, and not 3:30. I feel I am taking little baby steps, but I would rather be taking those steps.
I still get very tired and very very hungry. I am told that will pass. Once in a while I am still cold, but nothing a sweater won't cure, after all I am in Southwestern Ontario Canada.

[papmom3]

tripping over my thoughts

baby steps are the key dream! you didn't get here overnight and you won't recover overnite. Indulge in what your body needs for now. If you can satiate without sugar i would highly recommend that. Sugar has become my substitute beast so get a handle on it now. The sleep will come easier and easier. :l

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

I guess I am lucky, I use very little sugar, I can only hope it stays that way. None in my coffee or tea, plain ice water, but boy sometimes I want something sweet. For the longest time after I was so ill 3 years ago I could not tolerate sweets, I would have a chocolate bar, and feel nausous. I look forward to my sleep getting back to normal. Thanks again, this site is definately a life line. When we need the urge to speak, just sit at the key board and type away. I am so glad I found this place.

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

I am starting the beginning of day 5 AF, and over 120 hours. It does not seem to be getting any easier. I guess once I kick the habit then the cravings should subside. I hope.

[papmom3]

tripping over my thoughts

Hang in there Dream and DO NOT GIVE INTO THE BEAST!! He is a big fat liar! You are only on day 5. It's still all new and your body is going through some trauma. This is where you've got to dig deep and pull up your BGTP (Big Girl Titanium Panties). If you are using the suppliments, up the L-Glut and GABA for the next few days and the Kudzo too if you're taking it. Make sure you are drinking TONS of water and eating wholesome food-not processed stuff (says the queen of fast food!!).
You can do this but you must really want to and you must believe that your life will be better eventually. I had the same doubts as you even 6 months in. I could only see the bad things in my life but it was just a gray cloud and eventually I got through to the sunshine. Believe!!
:l

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

Funny how a few hours can change ones outlook. I actually had a good day yesterday. Maybe I did take Papmom3's advice and reached down and pulled up my BGTP. After I read my post from yesterday morning I realized how our moods change. I am not on any suppliments, so far so good, so to speak. I drink so much water, I sometimes think I will float away. I am so used to having a glass in hand it feels right, different shape, but still fills the habit I built for myself.

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

Today I woke early, like 1:30 a.m. and was unable to go back to sleep, but I still felt good, for today is day 7AF. Then I went on to Face Book. I had made a comment to my son about how sweet their new baby is. She was born Sept 27th, 10 weeks early at 2 lbs 2 oz. She is a little miracle, she has been home a week.
I saw a comment his girl friend made under my sons account who does not like me, the girl put for the whole world to see (He does not care so SHUT UP) I made a comment about her being angry and as a Grandmother I have a right to comment on my granddaughter, and I do believe my son cares. This has been an on going fued, I try to stop it, but she does not want to. The reason she is angry with me is I saw the baby when she was a week old, they had just gone home and the nurse took me in. She was so small I cried. So the mother is angry with me and since I can do no right, my son basically told me it is up to the two of us to work it out. I cannot see the baby (Melanie) till this happens. I know this seems petty, but it can send me to drink. I have not seen my son or the baby since the first of October, and it is killing me. I am trying to stop AL, and this can send me over the endge. Family politics can be one of the worst things we have to deal with. I have 5 grandchildren including the new one and another coming in March. I have never had anyone of my other two children keep my granchildren from me. As I write this, I am crying, and if I had any alcohol it would not last long. I do not know if putting this in words will help me, but was not sure where to turn to, so I do not sound whinny. We all have crosses to carry, this one has weighed me down for two months and I see no end. I tried to not fall into her trap, but telling me my son did not care was that straw. He was the only one who would say (I love you) on the phone to me. If the truth be known I think this girl is poison. My son never wanted to have this child, he felt she was not ready. I guess he knew right.

[papmom3]

tripping over my thoughts

Dreams-here's how I see it:
1. You and your son's GF have a huge problem that will take some time to work out or it might not ever work out. You can certainly use this as an excuse to drink-no one is stopping you. The result? You and your son's GF have a huge problem that will take some time to work out or it might not ever work out. Yep, after all that drinking, the problem is still there plus you are hungover, feel like crap and have extreme self loathing.

OR

2. You and your son's GF have a huge problem that will take some time to work out or it might not ever work out. You can invoke the serentity prayer, put your emotions aside and try to figure out a way to communicate with this person and not have it be all about you. When we're are sober, it's much much easier to tackle huge problems like this and to put our ego aside. The result? You and your son's GF have a huge problem that will take some time to work out or it might not ever work out. You haven't complicated anything by drinking and you might actually make some progress.

No matter what you decide, the problem is still going to be there but how you react to it will be different, depending on which road you choose.

:l

[retteacher]

tripping over my thoughts

dreams:

There are & will be so many "reasons" to drink. A year after my first anniversary sober, my daughter was diagnosed w/breast cancer & had a double mastectomy. Yes, I thought about drinking, but instead I put my energy to helping any way I could. I am so much the better person for it. I hope you won't use this situation w/the GF to drink.

BTW: Our son's former wife didn't like us very much either. Thank God she didn't hold us back from the g-kids, but she was extremely cold. We just went along the best we could, & eventually the marriage broke up. I'm not happy about that, but I know I didn't cause it. Take the relationship one day at a time. You'll see your g-daughter when the time is right. Trust that will happen.

In the meantime, keep posting here & doing whatever you can to stay sober. The physical symptoms will abate, & you will feel better than you have in years. After 2.5 years sober, I can't imagine how I functioned w/the amount of alcohol I put into my system.

Take care.

Mary