tripping over my thoughts

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

Well I am very Pleased I can say today I am *8 Days AF*. I chose to not let her give me an excuse to go back to day 1.

PAPMOM3, your words are harsh, but so true, I never thought I was making it about ME. I thought I was defending MYSELF, trying to see if I could talk some sense into this young person, wanting to see MY Granddaughter, I could go on and on, but you showed me something I had not seen. Thankyou

retteacher, thankyou also. I was like your ex- daughter -in-law, my mother-in-law did not like me or me her, but we did not keep the children from her. Years later she confinded in me that she had made mistakes, that was a huge step. We now have a deep respect for each other. I tried to explain about my ex-mother-in-law, but it did not work. My brother thinks I am enabling her to lash out at me, he is probably right. This young girl will continue to use this innocent child against me, this I know. She is a foster child and has alot of issues, she is 20 years of age and has a counsellor, ,I can only hope this person talks some sense into her. For me I have to take this issue one day at a time, if she posts anything else, I have to ignore it. Hard to do, when you are being told you were a poor mother, but I raised three children, two are close, one will talk to me, and 4 out of 5 of my grandchildren adore me. In my books that is a passing mark.

[papmom3]

tripping over my thoughts

Hi Dreams,
So sorry if I came across harsh. I can be very blunt at times but I don't ever mean to berate anyone. I felt you were at a crisis point and could go either way. I decided not to mince words so as to get your attention. I continually have to work to soften my approach to things and people. I will do better next time.
But in the meantime-bravo for choosing life (and ultimately you but not in a selfish way) over AL to deal with this issue! As I look back over my behaviour the past 30 years I see a ton of selfishness and I think most people on here will agree that AL is very one sided and very distorting and that they too were very selfish until they found and maintained their sobriety.
Retteacher is very wise and has been though a ton of shite. I loved how she got her message across to you in a loving non judemental way. We can all learn from her, especially me!

Keep up the great work and keep posting!

[retteacher]

tripping over my thoughts

Dreams: Keep going. Staying sober is a one day at a time effort...especially in the beginning.

Tools that kept me sober in the beginning:
-Coming here to MWO.
-Calling a sober friend.
-Remembering all the bad, bad drinking times.
-Not romanticizing drinking...not making it the panacea for all my ills.

It's so easy to think that drinking solves problems. We just forget temporarily, but then the drinking is added on top of the problems.

Mary

[if dreams were horses]

tripping over my thoughts

PAPMOM3, I want to thank you for your words, sometimes we need a few good strong words, if I thought they were harsh, it is what I needed at that time. It woke me up to my (ME) syndrom. I never understood how selfish AL is. I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father, and I promised my MOM I would never smoke or drink, I did both. I did manage to quit smoking over 25 years ago, but still dream I am having one every once in a while.
Having alcohol in my life has been a life pattern, after growing up and it was there but only for recreational things. As a teen or young adult, I never drank, I would however have one if we went out, and one was all I had, and that would be at least a month or two between them.
As my children grew, and became adults, I can see now how AL was taking over my life for the past 20 years. It was not until about 5 years ago that I really started to drink, and I can only say I am so happy I came back on MWO, and decided on Nov 22, 2011 to say no more.
retteacher thankyou again, my heart goes out to this young girl, for a good mother would never use an innocent child to hurt anyone even if we do not like them. My son, however does have to grow a pair. I love him and the baby, and always will. I will tell him over and over, but in the end it is the girl who holds the cards.
Today I celebrate Day 9, and I know it was with the help of my friends on MWO.
So if I ever decide to have a PITY PARTY, you have my permission to either give me a few good strong words, or toss me a BUCKET OF CYBER SPACE ICE WATER. I AGAIN THANKYOU.