Nouveau Novembre - week 4

[Chillgirl]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

Good morning Saturday and Happy ThanksGiving to Lav & Co

SD - sorry but your shopping story made me giggle, it sounded like pure hell! Did you actually get something really worth while?

I so understand exactly how you are feeling about isolation even down to AL being an escape from it but you are forgetting that brings not only more isolation but darkness, misery and self loathing. We are all transitioning, and any change is going to feel uncomfortable at times. The beauty of being AF is that we have the clarity to see things as they really are and we also have the power to do something about them. NEVER think there would be comfort back in that bottle SD, that truly is the lonliest place in the world.

Rusty - you summed it up pretty perfectly, I "was" a really out going person and I guess i still am, I just don't know where to channel that out going energy. Yes there are plenty people I could pass the time of day with but like SD said, the conversation is superficial and I'm so over that. The group I went to recently was perfect as we all had common interests but they only meet once a month and it's quite far for me to travel. I had even thought about an AA group to meet other non drinkers but there isn't one in my town?! Your Thanksgiving sounded absolutely wonderful. Oh and I will be watching even more "rubbish" tonight as X Factor is on and I will no doubt be eating lots of rubbish too :H

Papmom - get that poop scooped! :H how did you manage to get the dizziest checkout guy in the store? :yay: I got a check in the post yesterday from my car insurance co for ?15, no idea why and it's only a small amount but its money in and that's all that counts. I never buy a lottery ticket so I rectified that yesterday and bought one for the next month made up of numerology nos from my name.

I woke up and my 1st thought was work so it was great to find its Saturday and that I'd actually slept till 8am! It's still really high winds here and very cold but I will venture out with Elle then come back to bed with my coffee.......

[rustop59]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

Good morning Chill and all to come

Lav - enjoy your TG celebration with your family. Hope everyone is well enough to enjoy it.

SD - you are one brave lady. I get clausterphobic in crowds like that, I really dont like it. NY was a nightmare in some ways for me. Hence I finished my xmas shopping this week and everything is now wrapped and in the spare room! December will be spent cleaning and meeting friends for lunch etc. I get what you are saying about the loneliness but you can feel like that even surrounded by family and friends. I have a wonderful hubby and some very good friends but I would not open up to them about Al the way I do on these boards. We need to feel fulfilled from within and thats where I find the meditation useful.

Blond - love the photos. I used to love doing crafts with the kids when they were young but have gotten out of practice. Must start again.

Pretty windy here this morning but will do a short walk with the doggies before everyone else gets up.

Have a great day everyone.

Rustop

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

Happy Sober Saturday Fabbers!!!

A quick note before I have to head in to work...I open on Saturdays so I have to make sure I am there on the dot. Hoping for a successful busy but not too hectic day. Nothing will compare to my week last week and now I only have 4 days instead of 5 days of work ahead of me and then back to my Wed/Thurs days off schedule.

Lav-Have a lovely day today with your family and belated Thanksgiving dinner. I'm sure those turkey themed cupcakes will be a hit!

SD-Wow, what a brave soul you are for hitting the black Friday events...and Target no less! The nearest mall is about a 30 minute drive from us so we rarely go. I am a big fan of online shopping and also the small independantly owned stores in our own little town. But once and a while we have to break down and go to the larger stores to get what we really need and not pay an arm and a leg for it! Sorry about your feelings of isolation...I can relate. I can't talk to anyone about my addiction except you guys and I have told my husband that I just really can't drink anymore. My mother is an alcholic and talk about negative comments...that's about all I get from her. Sad. Thinking of you...at least we have MWO!

Chill-Stay warm and cozy on this cold day where you are! We've had unbelieveably warm temps here and it was odd picking out our tree last night in 60 degree weather!

Pap, I still owe you that crockpot recipe on the turkey breast and will try to post later...running out of time this morning and can't be late!

Ruststop-I never thought of myself as the crafty type but a friend gave me a glue gun a few months ago and I haven't turned back...lol I love decorating with seashells...they are all over my house. They're pretty, elegant and cheap (Free since I'm an avid beachcomber!!!). I'm a pretty thrifty lass and decorate on a dime...so that ornament project just cost me the price of dollar store ornaments and my time...but it's pretty therapeutic to do craft projects and very satisfying to see the end result.

My tree is up and getting settled in. Tonight we will put the lights on it when I get home from work. I need to find some garland...was going to get some nautical rope at the hardware store and use that as garland for the coastal effect but will have to find a grade that is not too heavy. Then I'll get those ornaments on!

Well, gotta run, time is a ticking or else I could stay on here all morning! Gotta feed the cats and get going! Have a great day all!

[papmom3]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

OK Blonde-I will hold off and wait for the recipe instead of doing it all this morning. Want to make sure I'm not missing anything crucial!!

Have a great day everyone. Supposed to be in the 60's here! I'm off to the dog show in a couple of hours.

[Lavande]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

Heading to 66 degrees here today so there will be no fire in the fireplace - oh well!

Busy, busy, busy here but just wanted to say hello & happy Saturday!
Have a great AF day everyone - I'll be back later if the turkey doesn't put me into a coma :H

Lav

[spedteach]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

What is NCIS?? Lav, have a great belated Thanksgiving/birthday dinner today. It's warmer where you are than here in the Southwest.

Everybody, I can so relate to that melancholy, isolated feeling. I was isolated when I drank but I was too drunk to care. There are plenty of people I could get together with if I would just pick up the phone. Went running this morning and made a gratitude list when I got home. Have been feeling sorry for myself of late. And yes Chill, like you I hop right back in bed with my coffee and my laptop and two purring kitties.

Blonde, I'm with you in terms of shopping at local, independent merchants. Isn't tomorrow small business shopping day or something?

I have nothing planned for today...shopping, cleaning, yuk. Something will turn up, no doubt.

[Stargazerlily]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

Good morning all...

Happy Birthday, belated, Papmom! Loved your gifts, you had a great day.

Lav, your magical and charming ways are just too much for YB to resist. Seriously, who ever really knows anyone else? He is your husband and you have a history and clearly still care for him. Just protect yourself as much as possible.

Chill and SD, I think that the human condition is to feel apart, lonely, isolated. Even in the midst of so much good; family, health, sobriety, useful work. I think the secret is to focus on gratitude, postive thoughts, and being thankful every day. It is alot of work and some days I do better than others. I was talking to a friend of mine who is married with two children who are older teens, and she was telling me she felt so alone and wondered how this could be? I felt the same way for a time, then got on MWO and have made a plan for my day. I know that drinking and drug use numb us and take away our humanness. Does this make sense? It is a constant struggle to find meaning and feel that we are "enough." But we are enough. We are all on this journey and I appreciate being able to share these thoughts.

I went shopping at midnight Black Friday, more as just something fun to do, and it was fun. It was also annoying with all the crowds. I did not buy anything and felt really tired about 1 a.m. Then went shopping yesterday, again crowded but purchased something I needed to get for one of my kids. It was crazy and fun.

What beautiful weather we are having, 50s and sunny, my goodness, this is so great, I love it. However, I feel like I have gained about 15 lbs, and refuse to way myself, I will get too upset. My tree is up and decorated, and I decorated the outside just a bit. I am done. TOday, I am cleaning cleaning, cleaning. Wish me luck.

How do we all find meaning to our lives? We know alcohol makes our lives painful and horrible, so that is out. I hear many seeking spirituality, whether through meditation, shamans (Sped I am glad you are being careful) mainstream religion, and think that connection to a higher power is the only way to go to give life true meaning. I am seeking too, and always have. I wish I had the faith of my youth, but it is not so simple and easy. Have a great day everyone.

[cyntree]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

Hello dear fellow travelers! Just had time to read up to pg 5...will catch up on the rest of the news soon. PapMom, happy belated Bday! Lav, hope your belated T-day is going well.

I worked long and hard on tuesday, wednesday and thursday, and all turned out well. Had a houseguest from NYC with her dog, and my dear Mom arrived on Thursday so we had a houseful. Mom is staying for a week, so it will be a busy time.

Had a bit of a mishap - early Wed. morning I went to the door at 5 AM to let out the dogs (in the dark just as I always do), and in the process of bending over to pick up the door draft keeper-outer, missed by about a foot and smacked my head on the edge of a large piece of furniture. I mean SMACKED - saw stars and the whole thing. Big gash, goose egg, and now very colorful eyes. So that kinda took the wind out of my sails, but all has gotten accomplished, and on T-day we enjoyed the organic fresh turkey from the farm down the road.

Gotta dash now, but will read up and check in soon...

Thank you thank you thank you to everyone on this life-giving, life-affirming thread. You are all magic.

[papmom3]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

OH Poor Cyn!! I'm so sorry! I'm glad it wasn't any worse tho. And your mom is there to take care of you right?

Star-lovely words as always!

Sped-so many of us feel the same way-it's very comforting! Lav and I have joked about buying a compound for lonely MWO women-sort of our very own commune or something! Just think-our own organic gardens, hen houses, maybe a store to sell eggs and crafts-hiking trails-built in dog and grand kid sitters. Ahhhhh-perchance to dream!

Blonde!! where are you?? I need to put the turkey in the crockpot in 20 min!! Help!!

[Lavande]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

LAV IS STUFFED BUT HAPPY :H:H:H

Dinner was really good!
The birthday kids (father & son) were happy.
Ms Lily was feeling pretty good after being sick for a few days.
The 'Turkey Cupcakes' were a hit Blondie - thanks for the idea!
Even YB was pleasant & seemed to enjoy himself & the family. Now here's a shocker - he hung around for half an hour after the kids left (he usually eats dinner & runs right away). He told me he went Black Friday shopping & bought an iPad for each of the kids as a 'couple's gift' for Christmas.

HUH? REALLY???? Where did that come from??????
Does that mean I'm going to get a gift too? :H
I still don't know what's going on in his head but at least he's showing signs of thinking of other people & not just himself ~ that's a major improvement.

papmom - you need a crock pot turkey breast recipe?
Slow Cooker Turkey Breast Recipe - Allrecipes.com

cyn, goodness woman - glad you are OK!!!!!
I have a history of doing terrible things to my head - be careful!

Shelley, to be honest......
I have felt lonely, to one degree or another most of my life. I think it is the human condition.
Star, numbing myself with wine was a completely stupid way to try to deal with it but it is what I did. I'm just so grateful to have found MWO & my friends here. Perfect solution

About the lonely woman MWO compound.........
I'm still game

Good night all!

[papmom3]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

Lav-so glad you had a great Thanksgiving today! Wow-YB sure is full of surprises!!

I didn't have any french onion soup so I just covered the bottom of the crockpot with organic chicken broth, rough chopped a large onion and spread some veggie cream cheese all over the turkey. I certainly didnt use the whole container-just a scoop full. I'll let it cook on low until about 7am tomorrow. Hopefully it will come out edible and cooked!! Wish me luck!

Nice day at the dog show. got to watch a couple of class mates run and they did very well. Met a new dog breed-the Leonberger. Big dog but no drooling. Bred as a guard dog but very sweet to anyone it meets as long as the owner says OK. Super good with other pets and children. No, I won't be getting one but my friend with the 9 other dogs, sheep and 2 horses will be getting a puppy next year. She's afraid of coyotes and feels the dog will protect everyone. I think it's an excuse to get a dog she's fallen in love with for some reason. Oh well. Grant me the serentity......

I exercised great restraint at the vendors. got one crate bowl and put together a very nice gift for the yankee swap at my breed clubs party on the 10th (the one I had to put the favors together for). Stayed within budget so I'm very happy.

Guess I should think about hitting the hay as I have to be in work by 8am tomorrow. Bah.

[Chillgirl]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

Good morning everyone

Papmom - sounds like you had fun at the agility trials, I hope work goes well today. Are you entertaining tonight? I missed what the turkey crock pot is about. I'm up for the MWO commune, we are all so different but I know without meeting you all that we'd get along famously and each of us have different strengths to contribute.

Lav - does YB not usually buy Christmas gifts? Maybe he's finally read one of those books you gave him. If you haven't already, how about Colin Tipping as his Christmas present if we go ahead with the commune do you think he would still be our YB, need to warn him about Papmoms poop :H

Cyn - your poor poor head! :l thank God it didn't happen when you were staying there alone you could have knocked yourself out! You have gone from one extreme to another, solitude to having a house full. Is that now HB there for good?

Star - you always make sense to me and are right, we ARE enough and accepting that we are is a big step in our growth. You got me thinking more about the isolation, I have never felt lonely and am always happy in my own company, I guess I relied on friends more that I realized, even just knowing they were there if I needed them. But a huge part of my wellbeing was my environment which I really loved. And because I spend so much time alone it highlights that I dont feel great in the space I'm in. My home has always been important to me, I'm a natural home maker and living in temporary rental places gives no sense of that homely feeling.

I'm running late after enjoying yet another long sleep and need to get dog walking before my hard core Sunday spin class........

[Dewdrop]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

Morning everyone, sounds like you all had a lovely Thanksgiving and many enjoyed Black Friday, must admit this is new to me this year and I think there were a few savings to be made but nothing like you had in the States. All this talk of putting up the Christmas tree already, we don?t usually put them up here (me and my family) until about 10 days before Christmas, I?ve never heard of them going up in November, that seems quite funny. My tree is up in the rafters of the garage and I think it will stay there for a few weeks yet! Some years I buy a real one just depends on how much time I have, maybe I?ll make the time this year.

It?s seems that most folk who stop drinking go through a period of readjustment regarding the loneliness and how to fill their time that they would previously have spent ?numbed?, however I think SD you are talking of more than that and I wonder if your plans for another baby are linked to the ?emptiness? you are feeling. You are still young and have a young son and have so much to give to a partner and another child, and heading back to the bottle would only scupper all your plans and you never know what?s around the corner. I think we do need to ride out the difficult times and accept that change is difficult but so worthwhile if we can stay with it and deal with these emotions. I also think we all have dark periods no matter how great (or not) our lives are ? that?s just life, and you know what we get through them as sure as night follows day.

On spirituality- I have rediscovered that side since I joined MWO 15 months ago and I would never have done that had I still been drinking, my meditation friends and my Buddhist friends have opened up a whole new world of friendship to me along with my amazing friends on here. However I sometimes think we spend too much time ?searching? or ?looking? for meaning in our lives instead of just getting on with it and being happy wherever we are. I agree with you Star when you say ?but we are enough? because we really are, if we do the best we can with what we have on a daily basis we should give ourselves a big pat on the back and be proud of our achievements at the end of each day. We need to learn to be kinder to ourselves.

I had a really strong craving last week on my way home one evening completely out of the blue (I was tired and a bit weary and I had skipped lunch which I didn?t think of till later) and it stayed for quite a while. It would have been so easy to just give in after all I?ve been AF for a long time now and what?s one drink? Yeah right!! It took me by surprise, I wasn?t prepared and I resisted but what annoyed me afterwards was that I let the thoughts stay in my head as long as I did, you know arguing for and against just one drink instead of kicking that thought right out of my head when it appeared. So I created more cravings by myself because the person who is in charge of my mind, my thoughts and my attitude is me!! Honestly I gave myself such a bollocking later for being such an idiot and making my life harder not easier. You would think I would know better by now but I also told myself how proud I was for being accountable and not taking the easy option. Trying to be kinder

Cyn I hope you are feeling okay that sounds like quite a bump you inflicted on yourself, take care okay?? And have a lovely sober Sunday everyone.

Dewdrop :h

[Rusty]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

Good Sunday Morning AF Friends,

Dew-those drinking thoughts....yup....they appear out of nowhere...don't they. We try to think of what the triggers are....and I think you were spot on when you said you skipped lunch. Someone on another thread who is in the early days of her AF life mentioned she had serious, serious cravings, just like you, and then realized...it wasn't that she was craving the drink, she was craving nourishment because she frequently replaced food with alcohol. She was hungry...she had something good to eat...and poof...cravings be gone!
Dew, I admire you in so many ways....I look up to you for staying strong despite the fact that you went through cancer treatments and are single....wow....I have no other words.:l
I am also glad you have found peace within the Buddhist community and your meditation. Faith...of any kind....is what keeps us breathing, I think.

Chill-why do you have an "Angry" icon at the top of your post? You are right about the comfort of your home environment....and short-term rentals....absolutely...you can never feel like you're settled in and "home." I know moving back to Scotland was a difficult decision to make...and it's been a rollercoaster ride for you.

Cyn-my gosh, woman....I hope you are ok and you don't have a concussion!:l I suppose if you did have a concussion, you would be nauseous, lightheaded. You better give all your symptoms to Nurse Lav, so she can make a proper diagnosis.

Lav-I am so delighted that you had a nice Thanksgiving and birthday celebration. I am over-the-top thrilled that YB stayed after dinner and he got the kids IPads. You're right. It IS an improvement. Maybe this IS the epiphany I've been praying for for a long time. You certainly were due for a peaceful, happy evening, and you got it. Later in the day, I will e-mail you....I, um....forgot a few people on my Christmas list and need your help...again. Does it ever end with me?:H

Star....I don't know that I agree with you in that the human condition is to feel apart and alone....I know with my family....I am the only one who feels this way. I absolutely agree with you that some of us are struggling to find meaning with out lives...and is it enough? I, too, am glad I can come here and share my thoughts. I recently told my sister that I have a support group online and she was so happy. So you did Black Friday shopping at midnight? My client did the same thing....it's a ritual with her and her sister....they go to the outlet malls at 12:00 a.m.

Blonde-WHERE ARE YOU? Are you ok? I, too, support local, family-owned merchants. I think it's so important to support the businesses in the community in which you live. Loved the ornaments...what a creative mind.

Shelley-I just love your honest about your drinking days and being too drunk to care...not reaching out to people. But I think if you picked up the phone in a sober, peaceful voice, any one of those people you could call would be delighted to hear from you. Is it possible to get together with LBH? NCIS stands for Naval Criminal Investigative Services....and the lead character is Mark Harmon (insert ooh and ahhh here sounds here ) and it's quite entertaining. It's addicting, too. I plead guilty to MANY instances whilst home during the day....I watch NCIS marathons....they have six hours of non-stop episodes. My Mom even watches it.

Papmom-so glad you had fun at the dog show. I have never heard of the Leonberger breed. I will Google it when I get home from the gym. Good for you for exercising restraint when it comes to shopping therapy.

Now friends....please let's not scare potential threadmates away by being known as the "MWO Lonely Hearts Ladies Club.". I don't want people to think we have nothing else to talk about.

Well, I'm off to the gym... and then to drop boxes of stuff at Goodwill. A big warm hello to Rustop, Sooty, and anyone else I may have missed....have a wonderful AF Sunday!

[Lavande]

Nouveau Novembre - week 4

Good morning November friends

Can't believe we are days away from December
Time truly is flying!

papmom, hope the turkey breast is good
Don't overdue yourself at the NH today! Maxie only drools when there is food in the vicinity :H

chill, maybe the whole holiday season thing is adding to your feelings
Hang in there & see what the new brings, OK?

Dewdrop, sudden cravings are an unwelcome surprise! We will be OK if we just so we keep our wits & handle them properly just as you did, Good job!!

Rusty, I think if we put our heads together we could come if with a good 'cover name' for our lonely hearts club :H
Not so sure that the compound thing is a good idea but the thought of being surrounded bt people who appreciate you is appealing........

I have a back up of work & need to jump right into it this morning!!!
But first must feed & water my fur & feather friends.

Have a great day everyone!