Sober 2007

[Changeling]

Just spent an hour reading all the threads and there seem to be lots of people determined to stay AF in January, to mention a few PaulaW, Lush, Pixie, Vinophile Louie - good luck, lets hope we can all get through it together.

Really inspired by old timers Pansy & Lisa both managed 60 days AF.

I have made thousands of vows to control my drinking
I have tried so many things it would be comical if it were not so sad.
Drink only after 7.oo
drink only wine - no beer
drink only beer - no wine
drink only at home
drink only when out socialising
drink no more than 20 drinks a week
no more than 3 a day
Every time I have failed, because I had never really comitted

This is my first Vow to STOP drinking - just that - not drinking under any circumstances.
Hope to find the strength here to help me along.
Best wishes everyone
Changeling (Day 6)

[Newyear]

Sober 2007

Hi Changling-

Behind you all the way. Bravo on 6 days too.
You sound very strong and determined - you can do this.

Lisa

[rustop61]

Sober 2007

Hi everyone,

Have not posted in a while. Thanks to MYO I had three months alcohol free in 2006 and hope to beat that in 2007. That's from somebody who drank every day for the guts of 11 years. Today is Day1 for me and I would like to do the month of January alcohol free. Looking forward to joining in.

Rustop

[sammys]

Sober 2007

Good Morning to everyone, just saying Hi and glad you are all here.

[lorisunshine]

Sober 2007

Good morning Changling.
We will be right here struggling alongside you. It's a new year and I swear that this year will be better than the last, as far as I have control over it.
Good luck to you and everyone.
Lori

[Guest]

Sober 2007

I'm with you too, Changeling.
Sorry to have been away for a while... I needed a break and to reconnect with my husband and my family. We are all doing better, but I still have this empty pit about the "not drinking". I hate that and hope it will go away soon. It had, but I was distracting myself in ways that were not positive for my family. Enough about that.
I did 10 days AF in mid Dec, followed by the binge to end all binges for 2 days, then 9 more days just now. I had 1 drink yesterday that I snuck then told my husband about later. It just made me feel crappy and guilty. I think the sneaked drink came from feeling deprived and punished over Christmas and New Years. And PMS. I dunno.
I have an appt with my counsellor tomorrow, then AA meeting tomorrow night (all women's group, I went last wk and it was really good). So that will get me through 2 more days...
As of today, 1 drink in 11 days. Trying to make the rest of January AF. I didn't realize yesterday was Kanga Day until it was too late. More guilt. sigh.

Best of perserverence and happiness to everyone with their AF goals. Thanks in advance for letting me sneak a peek and gain some more inspiration. You are all wonderful.

[lucky 2.0]

Sober 2007

This abs journey may not be fun or easy, but we are not alone in our struggle and there is strength in numbers. We CAN do this!

xoxoox
lucky

[Guest]

Sober 2007

changing the way you think

I am coming up on 5 months AF--and by no means am I an expert. The biggest key for me was changing how I viewed alcohol.

Alcohol is a poison. If you drink even a small amount in its pure form it will kill you. Regardless--the form it comes in--it is poison dilluted with other stuff so that it doesn't kill us and we can choke it down.

Alcohol does not taste good. It is a learned taste. Think about your very first sip of an alcoholic beverage. I mostly could only tolerate beer. Wine tasted like vinegar to me. Hard liquor--YUK!

I thought I needed it to have fun. I realized that slowly making myself act stupider and stupider is not fun.

I thought I needed it to relax. It relaxed me so much I basically didn't give a shit about anything--until I woke up full of remorse, guilt and anxiety.

I thought I needed it in social situations. Talking to a person that has had a few drinks is really annoying to me now. They are basically babbling on about nothing and laughing at things that are not funny.

I drank to erase emotions. Too bad the good ones got erased with the bad ones. I didn't really know how I actually felt about anything--because I rarely felt more than drunkness or hangoverness.

There is not one single excuse I could come up with that alcohol would actually fix, if not make worse. This combined with AA has been key. AA keeps me centered...and there is nothing better than having a group of friends who truly understand where you are coming from and have been. The 12 Steps have been key to me becoming whole again. The only hole that needs filled is the one that alcohol created. It took my self esteem, self respect, ambition---slowly I filled that hole with self esteem, self respect, ambition and love. Changing my view of what I "thought" alcohol gave me (it gave me a bunch of shit that I didn't want)---and AA have been the combination that I needed.

I truly feel like a whole new person. I am excited about life and what the future holds.

With that I am comitted to being alcohol and nicotine free in 2007! This is my second day not smoking (Yes, I have quit a zillion times)--but I can already feel the effects of not putting toxic chemicals in my system. I am committed to not putting things in my body that I have to be a certain age to purchase. If it is not good for my 5 year old--it can't be good for me.

Much love to everyone!

Kim

[lushy]

Sober 2007

Just a note to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for inspiring me to really look hard at this addiction and give me tools to conquer it. Lucky is right; there is strength in numbers. We CAN do it and we will.

[luckyone]

Sober 2007

Hi!!!

I loved the advise of changing the way you think about the drink. Awesome thoughts for me, and much needed for the start of my day. Thank you!!!! I wish everyone the best .

[Iamgoingtodothis]

Sober 2007

Lush and Discovery Thanks...

Day one (again) for me... so far so good.

:h :h

[Changeling]

Sober 2007

What a lot of really positive responses, this is exactly what I come here for.

Well done discovery on your 5 months if you managed to stick to it over Christmas/New Year you are a hero for us all.
Thanks for all the good advice.
I have been reading the Alan Carr book which is very much on the same thread.

I am trying to stop thinking of drinking as a good thing I'm missing out on and to
view it as a bad thing to stay the hell away from.

Also- Great to have you back Becca
Lots of best wishes & positive vibes to everyone.
Love Chageling

[Guest]

Sober 2007

Allen Carr

Yes, all of that comes from the Allen Carr approach. It has been an invaluable tool for me. However, it really didn't get me to quit drinking....it did take all the fun out of it though. When I would drink I wouldn't even try to come up with an excuse.....because I knew there was not one--other than I was an alcoholic.

I know at first it seems like you are giving something up. It is all part of the illusion to keep you drinking. It is not punishment for abusing it--while everyone else gets to go have fun. Punishment was waking up day after day with a hangover.

It can seem so hard at first, because you really want that drink. In the big picture it is easier not to drink. No hangovers, no guilt, no worthless fights, no calling in sick, no making sure there is enough to get me through, no more making an ass out of myself due to alcohol----I would be absolutely insane if I missed those things....I don't. For me the only way to do this is complete abs. Kind of like getting pregnant--the only way to truly make sure you don't get pregnant is to abstain--or have the whole system taken out! I have to abstain--and have the entire thought process I used to use taken out. The great thing is that I no longer have to worry about the above things happening.

The holidays were not a huge deal to me. It wasn't hard to abstain at all. Once you can feel the gifts of being sober---you don't think one iota about screwing up your holidays by drinking.

Kim

[weemelonhead]

Sober 2007

Amen Kim.....a very inspiring, and honest post.....:h This is the way I try and look at drinking too...drinking does not ADD anything to my life...all it does, through my own behaviour when on the sauce, is TAKE......my personality, my self esteem, my time, my relationships, my friends, my job, and my health..........Stopping drinking can therefore NEVER be a bad thing for me....there are no negatives to AF, only great big fat positives....
I'm with you all the way Changeling... Weehappysobermelon

[Popeye]

Sober 2007

Hello All,
A lot of sense being aired here today. Personally, I really don't know why I drink. I have tried to reason it through and always come to the same conclusion.......no conclusion. I don't drink for the social side of things, in fact drinking usually means hiding myself away in a room with as little company as possible...preferably none. Like a lot of people I drink when I'm bored, sad, happy, tired, tense...any time really. I think sometimes it is just because I can. Usually when I start a session, I really enjoy the first drink, I enjoy 'the hit'. After that I just keep going, getting drunker and drunker. I rapidly 'come down' off the first hit and end up feeling, just numb really. I have never taken hard drugs but I imagine that it would be a similar scenario. Does that make sense to anyone?
I'm just glad that now I can say quite honestly that I don't need that hit any more. I have my life back.
Thanks to this place. I love it here.