trying to do a month af - need advice

[bear73]

hello everyone - Happy New Year.I became a member a few months ago but basically gave up on trying to moderate drinking over last few weeks.
now i feel I need to do a month alcohol free, also trying to lose weight and stop smoking too.
I have binge drank socially for about 15 years all my friends do this - i want to stop though - i am 33.
I just feel alcohol has kept me stuck in some ways confidence wise - as has social smoking.
I have had low self esteem and saw a counsellor for this for about a year last year.we decided that i have a fear of standing out - but at the same time have unique style,dyed hair so part of me wants to. It's also a possible reason why i find difficult to reduce drinking,keep weight off - don't want to stand out - and fear of being successful.
i feel alcohol and smoking have masked this, helpedme to feel i fit in, but at the same time prevented me from developing real deep down confidence.I have also taken drugs socially - probably about 6 times a year but I don't want to go down that road tooas i do really like them when i take them -I think i have enough on my plate already!
i only smoke when i drink and am always tryng to lose weight - it's back to weight watchers this week

I feel I know why i do these things but it's stopping it - bought a hypnosis cd for stopping smoking.
anyway all for now wish me luck.major hurdle will be at the weekend - going out for a meal for friend's birthday.I don't want to tell people my plan as some will wave alcohol under my nose to tempt me.
anywaythanks for listening, this is a big burble!i'll be back at weekend before I'm due to go out. I haven't bought the book yet so may have to purchase. don't want any meds as don't have withdrawal symptoms, taking milk thistle and vits and omega olis anyway

[Java]

trying to do a month af - need advice

Good luck to you, I am quiting too. I have the same reasons, i use them in social situations to fit in, i feel different if I am not drinking becasue that is the thing to do

[sammys]

trying to do a month af - need advice

Oh yah! people will be disappointed in you if you don't drink. Had a good friend look at me in disbeilf when I turned down beer New Years Eve. She actually was disappointed. But my smiling face the next morning was such a good feeling too.

[rosy]

trying to do a month af - need advice

Hi,
I am leaving a job this week and have to face a social event with colleagues. Whenever I have been out with these colleagues I have stayed out really late and returned home in a right state after putting my self at risk in dangerous situations, walking home alone etc...
The problem is one on them won't take no for an answer and will buy me drinks anyway, I am beginning to see this as this persons problem, not mine. It is quite controlling behaviour and in the past I have ended up drinking them all to be polite. I want to be stronger this week when i got out but am scared of the pressure because it is an occasion on my behalf.

[drunkinslayer500]

trying to do a month af - need advice

Hello Bear
Cool you wanna change your life.
Great way to start out the new year.
But theres just one problem....
This is only my option but I think you may be trying or wanting to do to many things at one time.
Smoking is sooooooo hard to quit.
Drinking is a pain in the butt to quit.
Trying to lose weight is can be very hard too.
On new years eve most people are trying to quit just ONE of these problems.
My fear is that if your trying to quit all 3....
It may be to overwhelming.

You must also understand that for many people:
(Quitting drinking makes people sometimes smoke more)
(Quitting smoking makes people eat more) and gain weight
and who knows what desires may come up from trying to eat less.
I think that your putting to much on your plate of want to do's this new years.

I feel that it may be best to get 30 days of one goal under your belt first then move to the next.
Because sometimes it can be to hard to accomplish to many things at once and you may give up.
Im not trying to be negative im just being realistic.
We've all heard the saying "to many chiefs spoil the soup".
Then to many goals can spoil your dreams.
Keep it simple and you'll be fine.
Take it one day at a time
Take it one goal at a time
Just keep the faith and you will win your battles.

[mtnest]

trying to do a month af - need advice

I am new to this site but I did quit smoking 16 years ago and it was hard!!! but the best thing I ever did. I quit drinking at the same time because they sort of go together but I wasn't a problem drinker them. Just did it because everyone else did.

I agree that a 3 pronged attack might be ambitious. Better to be successful at one quit! But only you know your level of commitment.

Remeber if you quit drinking- you may lose weight without focusing on weight loss. Think of all the calories in alcohol and if you are like me--when I am drinking wine----I get the munchies and everything tastes good and I eat all night.

Best of luck

[betty boop]

trying to do a month af - need advice

Hiya & :welcome:

I missed this post first time round so i'm glad it has been bumped up again.

Bear73, How are you doing? It is possible as lots of folk on this site will tell you, im currently on day 14 AF after drinking every day for many many years, and I'm feeling great.

All the best, Paula xx

[YoungAtHeart]

trying to do a month af - need advice

Hey Bear,

I'm gonna stick my neck out and disagree with the others. If you are really only a social smoker and you give up drinking, it might not be too bad to give up smoking at the same time. I also think that drinking contributes to our making bad food choices, as well. I know that when I come home and I'm focused on that first glass of wine, I'll just "graze" on whatever is a hand at home, but when I am sober, I'll take the time to make a nutritious meal for myself and then really enjoy it because I'm not distracted by the booze.

You will be losing a lot of calories by not drinking, which will really help so much! Weight watchers is a great plan, I think, although it is not my diet of choice (I'm a South Beach gal!), and I hope that the comaraderie of the meetings help you. Also, you might find yourself with cravings for sweets and "bad carbs" (processed breads, cakes, pasta, etc.) when you give up the drink. Avoid them like the plague!!! It may be hard for a few days, but it will be worth it. If you focus on healthy proteins, carbs and fats, I don't think you can go wrong.

I hate to say this, but you might want to see a little less of your friends for at least a little while until you feel more secure in your sobriety. I have to do this when I'm serious about Abs. I just can't stand the temptation initially!

When I follow my own advice, I do very well! I wish you the best of luck in your (ad)venture!

Hugs,
Kathy:l

[Cashregister]

trying to do a month af - need advice

HI Bear,

I totally agree with Kathy - give up smoking and drinking at the same time - you will lose weight from not drinking plus - you can always put that compulsion into the gym. I often find that when I give up smoking (have dome quite a few times!) that I actually lose weight as I focus on going for walks and eating properly - takes my mind of the ciggys. Oh I guess that could be seen as yet another obsession but it's at least a healthy one (just don't go too far - i've never had that problem - and a slip up with some cake is better than a bender and 2 packets of cigs).

Cashy

xxx