Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

[retteacher]

Everyone:

I noticed that last night's meeting was filled up to the brim. I think the holiday season brings a disquiet w/it. There are so many expectations of what should be right now that our vulnerability to a relapse is very real. I had one very sleepless night last week, & I must admit that a glass of "something" would have put me right to sleep. Of course, I didn't do that, but I actually thought back to when I did drink to fall asleep. I conveniently forgot about the middle-of-the-night waking up however.

I've been reading a recovery book. It said that an alcoholic/addicted brain is different than a normal brain. Even in recovery, we alcoholics can still react to visual stimulii of drinking or drugging (i.e. a photo of a frostyl glass of wine or shot of Jamesons). Studies have been done w/PET scans that indicate that there is a part of our brains (even in recovery) that still react to these visual triggers.

I guess what I'm saying is that we always, always have to be on our guard. I'm not naive enough to think that after a mere 2.5 years of recovery, I'm immune to relapse. I've heard awful stories of people who go back after years & years.

I have plans to go to a meeting tonight. I'll go whenever I can right now. The cooking, shopping, etc. can wait. My recovery cannot wait. It has to be ongoing & constant. Otherwiise I lose everything.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

DG would know better than I do about the brain chemistry stuff. It makes sense to me that years of drinking is going to change my brain chemistry forever.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

Hi Mary and thanks for getting us started this week! I love all the new information coming to light via the brain imaging technology. It really puts some hard science behind things that we KNOW are true, but were hard to prove or even explain to someone non-addicted who doesn't experience the same things. I think you are right about the restlessness at this time of year. Just like "glammed up" versions of drinking that we see in advertising, movies, etc., we also see a lot of "glammed up" versions of the holidays in general through the media. I think this leads to unrealistic expectations, etc. etc. which is a viscious holiday cycle all by itself.

I am always glad when the holidays are over. At least I can be honest about that today. That was one of my "dirty little secrets" in the past.

During my month off school, am making coffee dates with AA gal pals I haven't seen in awhile. It's going to be nice to catch up!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

I heard in a meeting once that expectations are just disappointments waiting to happen. Expectations of how the holidays SHOULD be are rampant this time of year...especially the week prior to Christmas. The reality seems such a disappointment. I readily admit that I love it when Christmas is over.

For me, New Year's Day (NOT New Years Eve) is far more satisfying. I love the idea of starting anew. I love the idea of resolutions & wanting to improve. For the 2nd year in a row, we'll be hosting an AA potluck party on New Year's Day. We eat & have fun, & then everyone leaves in time to get to a meeting together. What could be healthier!?

Anyhow, take it easy everyone. No need to rush around. Everything will get accomplished or it might not.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

Last night's big speaker meeting was crowded w/friends. What a great feeling! It's so nice to walk into a meeting & see people I know...people I see on a regular basis.

My sponsor has just completed radiation/chemo for lung cancer. She got through it all w/no self-pity...going to meetings as much as she could.

Anyone new to this thread: don't hesitate to:
-ask questions.
-make a comment.
-complain a little.

We discuss all aspects of staying sober & enjoying life.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

Greetings Mary and DG.
I can't believe how great I feel. This will be my third Christmas and NYE sober. Like you mentioned Mary, we do have to be selfish about our sobriety. When I'm in town I attend the 630am meeting every day. It is a great way for me to start the day.
Have you guys noticed the increased story lines about AA on some cable shows? Kate and I were watching The Closer last night. It was about a hit and run drunk driver, the wife of police commissioner. It was an interesting event.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

I haven't watched much TV lately. But, I'm sure AA has hit the airwaves. It works!

Last night's speaker meeting was a first for me. The speaker was coming up on 50 years of sobriety...I kid you not. All of us just shook our heads.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the reasons underlying my drinking. Fear has been a dominant theme. I think that the drinking gave me a temporary respite from it.

Anyhow, I have a busy few days ahead. I will definitely fit in a meeting before Christmas. I too am so happy to be celebrating my 3rd sober Christmas & New Year. It's awesome. I can't imagine life wo/sobriety. I wouldn't want to be any other way. It takes the guesswork out of celebrating. I know I'm not going to drink, so I get to enjoy the food & people. I'm as fresh & clear-headed at the end of the evening as I was when I got up in the morning. Now that's something to feel grateful for!

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

Yeah Mary, that's it, removing the guesswork. I wake up each day and am not sure what day it is, because it does not matter to me now. Used to be, if it was Saturday then I knew I could start drinking at noon. Or thought I would work in the yard all day because then it was "legal" to drink beer. If it was a weekday, then I had to carefully plan my drinking. Funny how sober days don't have as many "rules".

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

Exactly Phil. I think all that planning is part of the mental obsession that Bill talks about in the BB. When, where, & how I'm going to drink was a big part of my thinking. My mind was scrambled as much from that as from the alcohol.

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

:wings: MERRY CHRISTMAS 2 all of you :h,
Cant wait till xmas day that the first 4me :H been busy all this week at work and doing lots of training at the gym, had enough of customers buying so much food and drink, resent my work company for being so greedy and theres only so much christmas songs you can listen to in work even the customers are fed up listening to them.
But on a good note it the only day on xmas day my work place is close so THANK GOD FOR CHRISTMAS DAY ! i can chill out and relax and enjoy the day and be grateful.
Had to have a good moan the other day, get it out of my system, then surrender, let it go, and then be grateful for all the things i have !

Thank you all :l
Catch22 xXx

[Guitarista]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

Hi Mary, DG, Phil, Catch 22 and all the good folk reading,

I haven't read this thread in awhile, but i must say i always find it positive and inspiring. So thanks for sharing everyone, and just being around.

Today, i am a grateful man. Have a beautiful christmas y'all.

Greg.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

greg: So nice to see you here. Merry (sober) Christmas. M

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

Hi everyone!!! Love all the humility and simplicity of this thread. I can fully relate to the importance of the "day of the week." I drank every day. But some days were more overt than others. Day of week mattered in that. I love not having that opressive thinking, plotting, planning going on.

I truly loved the AA meeting I attended yesterday and again today. This is my 7AM home group - they meet 6 mornings a week. I've been chairing on Thursdays for the last 6 months - next Thursday will be my last and things rotate. There is a very solid and stable core group in this meeting. Then of course a lot of other people come and go for a variety of reasons. (often when life is improving and they can no longer come due to a new job, etc.)

Sometimes new people come in that just lift me right up. Yesterday was one of those days. Two younger women came in (not together) and it was both of their first times at this particular meeting. One was so battered down by the hard life with AL that she could barely speak. The other one was exhuberant about finally "getting" the fact that she needs to get AL/drugs out of her life, and really embracing the recovery experience. One put a glimmer of hope in the other ones eyes. I would pay money to watch that!!!!! I'll be honest - I was thinking of skipping the meeting this morning. Plenty of rediculous excuses with the holiday and all. But I went to see if either or both of these young women would be back. Both were. They lifted me up again.

What a gift.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

DG: It was a gift indeed. Chores, shopping, cooking, etc. can wait. Meetings are my spiritual food...especially when they include experiences like the one you described. I just came back from a BB meeting...great friends & a good discussion...it doesn't get any better than that. Mary

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 19 - Dec. 25

Hey all,

Just wanted to pop by and wish you a very very happy xmas. My xmas present this year, and my family's xmas present, is that i'm just over a week off being a year sober (Jan 2nd).

And i hope you will take my immense gratitude as a xmas present from me to you - it is you and all the other lovely AAers who have done this, not me. And I will be eternally grateful to you all. I have no doubt I will make the year - and that's a feeling that is so indescribably good. Yeah that peace of mind you lot were going on about when I joined in january - I have it

I wish I could give you all a great big hug -:l:l:l:l:l - that'll have to do!

Have a wonderful, wonderful xmas all of you. I'm off to the homeless centre, which I sadly missed last year due to being self-inducedly ill. I'm sure they appreciate me sober now too!

Big love to you and yours,
K xxx