sun 8 jan af daily

[bear73]

Back to day 1. Ridiculous - friends over - they had wine - i had the usual BS 'just one', deprivation thoughts, friend drinking lightly. I was chasing the buzz and wasn't even enjoying the buzz.

I am determined that this will make me come back more refocused than ever at what/why I need to be AF. Not beating myself up as that will make it worse/I will be in I am a failure mode etc etc. Fighting mood today.HUGE wake up call. I need to always be vigilant.

Funding app I keep going on about is for my derby team - it will be done by Monday.
Today is washing,tidying and maybe a light gym session and sauna later.

[spacebebe01]

sun 8 jan af daily

Hi Bear I woke this morning thinking what a failure I am, not on the drinking front as I havent drank but, yesterday once again I did nothing, I felt down slept maybe half the day then just spent the rest of the day lying on the couch putting myself down in my head, I ate a huge load of chocolate that gave me a headache and still carried on eating it, did none of the jobs I had intended to do in the house or about paying bills. blah nlah blah, taday is a fresh day, lets make this a good day and put yesterday behing us

[ThreeDogNight]

sun 8 jan af daily

Good morning, Bear and Space.

Bear--good for you not beating yourself up! You just climb right back on board, and that is great. I could never even repeat day one at the end of my drinking, because I couldn't get to day one. You seem to have a good plan for today, and today is what counts.
Space--I understand that feeling. But you know what? You didn't drink! Eating chocolate and lazing around the house beats drinking, IMO. Today will be a new day for you and will be better. What I do now is try to keep a routine--shower, dress, get my makeup on, even if I am not going anywhere--which is pretty much just AA or church on Sundays. But yesterday I wasn't going anywhere, and my husband was going out for gym, lunch, errands, so I stayed in my pajamas and didn't even feel bad about it! I decided to get Netflix--used to have it and got the DVDs and often forgot to watch them, but now you can get the movies on your laptop, and first month is free. Ended up watching two movies. Not so bad. So be good to yourself for another AF day!
Hope everyone has a good sober Sunday!

:lTDN

[Lavande]

sun 8 jan af daily

Good morning Abbers!

Sorry you decided to take that first drink bear......it's the first one that always kills our resolve Stick to your guns now & get back to feeling fabulous!

space, sounds like you are dealing with some depression? Have you addressed that with your doc or anyone? Unresolved depression is what got me to drinking in the first place. I know now that I need to keep my head in the light & fresh air at all times to stay away from AL.

TDN, what exciting stuff do you have going on today?

I have absolutely nothing exciting planned for the day but that's OK. My weekends usually end up with kids & grandkids to feed & pick up after
It's nearly 10 am so I really should go do something.

Wishing everyone a fabulous AF Sunday!
Lav

[spacebebe01]

sun 8 jan af daily

I do long long standing clinical depression and am trying to find ways of dealing with that, I am taking antidepressants but I mean as well as those. I have had a shower and got dressed and am thinking that there may well be something in this getting showered and dressed even when not going anywhere, just to make myself feel better. I have got dinner on and am waiting for my family to arrive. (Im in UK Sunday Roast, its been passed on to me from my mum who is 82 and now I cant seem to get out of it)!

Being sober is so cool

I hope you all have a great Sunday

[bear73]

sun 8 jan af daily

hi Lavande - yep - first one gets me every time - i WON'T act on that 'just one' BS anymore - no such thing. I can't stop the thoughts - but I don't need to act on the thoughts.

Spacebebe - I have suffered from depression on and off and find the simple things not drinking/eating well/ sleeping well/ housework and getting showered/dressed make a big difference.

[universal]

sun 8 jan af daily

Monring abbers!

Bear, sorry to hear about your drink last night but I'm glad you are not beating yourself up about it. Just jump right back up on the wagon and remember how great you were feeling and the change in your attitude when you are sober.

Hockey again today - I am tired and woke up earlier than I wanted. I think I'm going to have a quick nap so I can be prepared to drive an hour for a hockey game. Sadly I don't feel like going even though it is my daughters game. I just want to vegitate today but that's not in the cards.

Oh well, up and at em. One thing is for sure.

[greeneyes]

sun 8 jan af daily

FABBIES!!

Feck sake, I had this really long post going chatting to each person and lost it flipping back and forth between days! I can't do it over now, but at least now I kinda know what everyone's been doing recently.

Had a great holiday visit and now have my nose to the grindstone to catch up on stuff. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and fiscal year ends should be better spaced. That is all.

I have a crock pot of split pea soup on and am heading out to do a bit of work in the tundra before the rains hit.

Be well! I'll try to recreate that post another time.

[ThreeDogNight]

sun 8 jan af daily

Bebe, I had forgotten to mention that I have been taking Paxil since just before I went to rehab. Was fighting it, but my anxiety was awful. Don't have it now, thank God. Seems to be working for me with no side effects I can see.
Glad you got up and showered and dressed! A long time sober friend told me to do that no matter what. It does seem to make a difference.
Lav--nothing exciting today. Back from church and shopping, and preparing to choose a movie to watch.

TDN

[papmom3]

sun 8 jan af daily

Hi Fabbers.

Bear-have you finally learned that hanging around mates who drink is deadly for you? It won't be that way forever but in the beginning you've got to make the sacrifices or this will continue to happen over and over. Hope you'll be able to get a good nite's sleep tonite and start fresh tomorrow. Thanks for the explanation of the funding app. I thought it was something you had to do week after week LOL!!

TDN-how is pup doing?

Greenie!! I'm so glad to see you back!! Glad you had such a great time away. Hope things get in order soon so you can enjoy being home again.

Hi spacebebe-keep up the great work!!

Uni-you're having a down day-stay vigilant and take care of yourself!!



I am definitely feeling better today although the coughing is getting old. I did wake up a lot last nite due to coughing but that's to be expected as the virus makes its way out of my body. My one goal today was to tackle the dishes that have been piling up since Monday nite. I have to do it in 2 shifts as I don't have a dishwasher so I'll be heading to the kitchen soon for go #2. I haven't done anything else but that. I decided that I wouldn't get that much real work done so no dent in my pile would have been made. I will just deal with it all tomorrow. I'm anxious because I haven't heard one word from my boss-no "sorry you're sick"; no phone calls, nothing. Just confirms my assessment of him. And I'm really sick of it. I'm sure he's going to be very cold and distant tomorrow and for the whole week and is shitting bricks because Orientation is a week from Wed and if I don't get my work done his arse is on the line too. This is why I'm so worried about going back to work tomorrow. We're also in the middle of a moderate system upgrade and I haven't tested one thing yet. See, now I'm getting myself all worked up. I need those smudge sticks Lav!!

Also, got word today from my sis that one of her husband's sisters was just let go of her very prestigious job. The company she works for is a high end Event Planning company. They did the Chelsea Clinton wedding. Her position was up there in HR and they have eliminated her position! She has put her heart and soul into that company and was there when they were small potatoes. She is the one who's husband committed suicide last summer. I am just so angry right now. It just proves that hard work and loyalty do not matter one fecking bit anymore!! She's getting a severance package so they didn't even try to reassign her. She is handling this with way more class and grace than the owner deserves. It's going to be really wierd because she got her nephew's new wife a job there this past year. ARggghhhhh!!! Her other sister in law (my sis's I mean) just finished a week of radiation for BC that came back on the side she had a mastectomy 10 years ago (I think it was 10). She's been battling this second occurance for a long time now. I have no idea of her prognosis-my sister doesn't really talk about it.
Sorry to be such a debby downer-i meant to be upbeat today but all this news has really gotten me down. And what am I watching? "Fantastic Houseboats". Gawd, I gotta get a grip!!

[Wally22]

sun 8 jan af daily

Good Afternoon Abbers
Bear, sorry about the slip, it's a lesson learned. We can't have that one drink. And frankly we don't want it, because it's just not worth the grief...right: I have a prescription for Antabuse in the medicine cabinet. I dont' take it every day anymore, but I do take it for high risk situations like parties and gatherings. It keeps me on the straight and narrow. And no drink feels better than waking up sober and in charge.
I can so relate to lying on the couch. I too need to get up and shower and dress every day. I cannot afford to delay that, or I end up like today at 3:12 in my robe, with nothing done. sigh
I too suffer from depression, I really do think there is a link with alcoholism. I take two antidepressants daily, and find they are helpful, but the shower get dressed thing is key.
The weather is wonderful and my furry family is having a ball outside.
Hope everyone has a wonderful evening.

[ItsJustMe]

sun 8 jan af daily

Wazzz up Dudes!?!?!?!

Sorry I haven’t been around lately. It’s been a busy busy busy winter so far. I sort of added to the chaos with piano lessons and gym. But it keeps my mind off other things……

Last night I ate my weight in meat – a Brazilian steak house. If you have never been to one and you like meat – you should try it. If you are vegetarian, then stay as far away from these places as you can. You have a chip at your place setting. Green on one side and red on the other side. If you turn the chip over to green, they start bringing all different kinds of grilled meats – sausages, steaks, chicken, lamb, you name it. It will keep coming until you turn your chip over to red. I was in some serious gastric distress when I left that place!

Let’s see, piano is going very slow – you can teach an old dog new tricks but it takes a very long time to do so. But I am not in a hurry – I don’t have a concert scheduled anytime soon! So I am just taking it as I go and enjoying it. Work continues to be a little slice of heaven (NOT). It has been extremely busy but as long as customers have problems I have job security!

On the AF front, I am still holding my own. I get temptations often but have been turning them down. Cravings are still around but their voice is pretty weak. I don’t know if they will ever go away completely. A few times I have actually considered it but then I reminded myself how I would feel about things the next day – that was enough to drive the thoughts away. I’m coming up on 6 months AF in about a week or so.

I am so behind on reading what everyone is up to. I will have to just pick a date from the last few weeks and start reading from that point forward. Maybe I can then get caught up.

Hope you are all doing well!

ItsJustMe

[Accountable for Me]

sun 8 jan af daily

Bear, hop back on that wagon. Although the temptation may seem desirable, the end result is feeling like poo and how we let ourselves down.

Papmom, so sorry about everything that is going on with you. I have to agree that loyalty is BS these days. My daughter's father has been barely working for the last few months. Maybe a couple of times a week, when regularly it would be full time. He could go to the mainland (Vancouver area) and secure a position that pays more, and work more. But for some stupid reason, she feels 'loyal' to this company. Has only been there 2 years. It frustrates me because he can't afford to live, let alone provide for his daughter. UGH. I am also sorry that your SIL? has reoccurring cancer. That scares the shit out of me. I will pray for you, and your whole family. Sending healing, and happy vibes.

I also suffer(ed) from a life long battle with depression. Looking back, the alcohol definitely made it 100x worse for me. After being off the sauce completely for almost a year straight, I look back and what a difference in moods for me. Like night and day. I have had many good stints of sobriety, but never this long in a row. It amazes me how much impact drinking did on my depression. I am on a very low dose of anti-depressant; was put on when my father became terminally ill with cancer in 2010. Even with my own diagnosis with cancer; without drinking, I haven't had to up them at all. Yes, alcohol is a depressant for certain!

TDG, how is your doggie doing?

Lav, you are always sounding so good. I love your chicken picture!! I love chickens!

IJM, good to see you here.

Greenie, so good to see you back. I love pea soup! Send some this way!!

Hello to spacebe, uni, and wally!

I had a relatively lazy weekend. Slept A LOT! A LOT! Did all my housecleaning and laundry. I also am guessing because after Christmas there isn't much moola to spend, so I sloth around at home. :H Can't wait till 'payday'. ho hum. And so much for my news years resolution on cutting back on the grub. hardee har har....... eating is soooooooo good

Everyone else, have a fab day. Lots of love and hugs sent out to each and everyone of you. If I missed anyone.......... I am really bad at addressing people and just flying off the top of my head. Hello to all! xo

[ThreeDogNight]

sun 8 jan af daily

Hi, All.

Papmom, I am sorry for the sister-in-law's sisters. So many people who have lost or are losing jobs and having to go out and look for something else. Terrible. And the breast cancer reoccurence is scary, to say the least. My sister had breast cancer four years ago at 46, decided for a double mastectomy, and thank God has been fine. But you never know. Just curious--do you work in a school? How are your three furkids? Bud is doing well after the chemo. As with the last three treatments, he becomes picky about his food for a few days after the chemo, but will eat chicken and Stella&Chewy's freeze dried.
ItsJustMe--Is that your dog, and is s/he a Brittany? We have three of them! Orange and white, though.
I watched a cute kind of documentary through Netflix today--My Dog: An Unconditional Love Story. Lot of well known people, like Richard Gere and Glenn Close talking about their relationships with their dogs. They sure do love you no matter what!
I hope everyone has had a good day!
Now to watch another movie! I'm really getting into this!

TDN