January Jewels - Week 2

[papmom3]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hi Jewels! I'm here and doing OK. It's just been so busy this week at work plus I'm still not feeling 100% and in fact had to call in sick again today!! Dew-I can so relate to what you're going through with the never ending virus!!
Chillie-I can't wait to hear where you are setting your sites for the next chapter in your life!! I know it will be warmer and less windy than Troon/scotland but will it be out of the UK entirely??
Sped-what's up with your son's kitty? Is he OK? your sons are so lucky to have you and how nice they want you to stay on for a few more days!!
LBH-I agree with Chill-enjoy the blessing of 2 new friends in your life and getting to know people from another country. please keep us updated OK?
Dill-don't worry about not having time to post and relate to everyone. Our lives have to come first even tho our sobriety is #1 at the top of our life list. Just let us know you are OK from time to time and of course if you need any hugs or help, we're here for you!!

Cass-good to see you posting most every day. I love hearing about your wonderful busy life!!

Lav-We're getting a messy storm tonite/tomorrow but I think it's more coastal? any weather events out by you? Your stories about Maxxie and the chicken are hilarious!!
Sooty- how nice you are volunteering to drive people to appointments!! I wish I had time to do that. I know I would love it!!
Rustop-so happy to hear things are getting back to normal for you! Enjoy!!

I've had a serious talk with my body and told it in no uncertain terms that the virus it has invited in is no longer welcome and MUST GO!! This mucus hotel is CLOSED!!

I also had a phone interview this afternoon with a local University Registrar's office. the position would be a lateral move but much different than what I'm doing now plus much much closer!! I have a lot of the skills and qualifications they are looking for and it's such a great University-very well respected. My sis got her MBA there and my neph went there last year for his freshman year. I think I did well on the phone interview. They will be inviting 2, maybe 3 people to campus for the next round. BUT, and this is a big but, the salary is going to be 10K less than what I make now. She is going to talk to HR but I really don't have any hope they can even come close to what I would need to make the move. I'm so bummed. I've priced myself right out of the market and have no recourse but it's not like I'm even making gobs of money! You all know how much I've cut back and scrimp and save. I can't stand the thought of staying where I am for the next 15 years-way too depressing plus I'm going to have to work 3 jobs just to pay for the gas to get there every day!! I think I have to reconcile myself to those facts tho and stop looking around. It's just to depressing and frustrating.
Off to have some tea and butterfly shaped bran muffins. At least something can make me somewhat happy.

[Lavande]

January Jewels - Week 2

Ah papmom, I hate having to settle for something when there just seems to be no other choices. But, always stay open to the idea that anything can change.....you just never really know. Hope you feel better soon.

Dew, it is not uncommon to have a sinus infection after a head cold......beware Hope you feel better soon too!

Well, the non-drinking, smoke-free chicken chasing granny had a nice lunch out with an old work friend today. We always lament on how happy we are to not be working at the hospital anymore :H

Maxie did the chicken chase before I went to lunch today which is good because the rain started before I got home. Supposed to have soaking rain tonight & temps going up tp 60 tomorrow - crazy for this time of year
I am expecting my daughter & Lily tomorrow. They are going to spend the night too

Hope everyone has a good evening!
Lav

[Cassia]

January Jewels - Week 2

Evening friends,

Just in from work and have the house to myself so did the dishes and now just waiting for the fishcakes. Yum yum. Hubby is still in the office. I hope he is ok.

LBH - I hope you have a fun time with your visitors! Let us know all about it.

Rustop - how was your swim this morning? Your daughters' studies sounds really interesting particularly international relations. It is something I would love to have studied.

Dill - thanks so much for sharing about a similar conversation you had with your husband about your drinking. It made perfect sense and now I feel like its reasonable that I do feel under a bit of pressure. I know that I am doing this for me because I am so much happier now and it has definitely help my relationship with my husband. But I think there will always be that wee fear in me. i.e., if I did start drinking would he leave me. And maybe that's not such a bad thing.

Dew - I hope you got rid of your sinus headache and had a relaxing bath. When do you go back to Scotland?

Sped - I would LOVE to hear more about your experiences in the 60s. Its a decade that absolutely fascinates me but most of my family who experienced it did not get involved. It was such an important time and we have so much to be thankful for people standing up for basic human rights in the 60s.

Chill - hope the winds aren't as bad as the last couple of times. How are the plans coming along.

P3 - Good to see you lady and you made me laugh relaying the conversation you had with your body. I hope your phone interview turns into an inperson interview. You might be plenty surprised if you get to the next stage. Everything is a negotiation and if you are the candidate they want, hopefully they will be able to meet your requests. Don't give up hope. Where there is a will there is a way.

Lav - weather is crazy here but definitely pleased with the warmth. It's meant to snow here on Sunday - eek! Hubby will be happy though. Sounds like you have a lovely day tomorrow. Enjoy!

So, I want to share a couple of things with you guys if that's ok. Firstly, I can't tell you all how thankful I am that I made the move here when I did. Turns out that my former position has been eliminated. If I had stayed in the UK, I wouldn't have a job. I don't know who was looking out for me (I like to think my mom) but I really had a lucky escape. So for all I might miss Glasgow and my friends and family I really do feel like I am meant to be here right now.

Speaking of my friends in Glasgow, I was terribly disappointed and angry today with someone I considered to be a very close mate. Now, I want brutal honesty - if you think I am being unreasonable or a bitch (it has been known) please tell me. So, you know how I am going back in Feb? Well, I don't have a lot of time and I need to spend a lot of it with my gran. So my best mate suggested I organize a big dinner with my mates on the Saturday. Great - I invited the people I really wanted to see and they all got back to me immediately and said yes. Except one. She waited a few days and emailed me today to say that she already had a party but she might be able to make it for a little bit. Fine - everyone has plans. But what really pissed me off is that this is the same mate who made me feel terribly guilty about leaving and has made very little effort to keep in touch. Plus - she tagged me in a post in facebook to tell me that she was coming to visit - she never discussed it with me (before or since the post), asked if it was convenient and also, she didn't ask if she could bring her mate (which she is). So, I would have thought that she might even want to see me just to talk about her plans to visit or even to meet her friend who is meant to be staying with me. It has left me pretty annoyed. I emailed her back to say that was fine - didn't want her changing her plans but if she couldn't make it on the Saturday that I was unlikely to see her on this visit. I know she has this whole new group of friends that she is spending loads of time with but she is forgetting about the people who were there for her over the past ten years and got her through some pretty dark times. Oh well - I can't dictate things from 3,500 miles away but I would be lying if I didn't expect a wee bit more effort on her part. On a great note - there will be ten of us for dinner in Glasgow - wee bit dinner and then going dancing. It is bound to be a great night and I am really excited.

Anyway, another sandwich post from me - apologies if I am seeming really self involved. I just like to get your thoughts and maybe give me a different perspective

Love you all. xxx

[cyntree]

January Jewels - Week 2

Evening jewels -

Just a quick post, it has been a long day...I just finished up the dishes and will now get the dogs put to bed and fall into my own.

LBH - I understand the fear of people visiting -- I suffer from it even when they are close friends, next-to-strangers would just about do me in...good luck! Probably everyone here is right, you will have a wonderful time. Besides, I love Sweden and most all the Swedes I've met!

Cassia, et al. I hate to be told what to do, even when it is instead the sword of Damocles hanging over. I think that situation kept me drinking out of pique for a long time. Quitting for your own reasons is the best life imaginable. Cass - change is hard for everyone, isn't it? Expectations are hard all the way around. So great to hear your plans for a great evening with your mates.

Dew - do you think you should check out the possibility of a sinus infection? Could go on for a long time if you have one and don't treat it...what do you say, nurse Lav?

Rustop, Sooty, Sped so good to hear from you. Rusty are you ok? Chill, any news on the next chapter for you? I'm SO sorry about the gale force winds, I just could not cope with that kind of wind. P3 sorry for your predicament, but keep the positive thoughts flowing...

Sorry if I'm missed anyone -- my brain is a pile of jelly tonight -- hope everyone has sweet dreams....

[Rusty]

January Jewels - Week 2

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.
Winston Churchill

Dill, thank you so much for that quote today. It will go in your e-file. I appreciated your honesty about your husband threatening to leave you and that it made it even more difficult to control your drinking. After my family confronted me in an intervention, my drinking became MUCH worse, because I was filled with shame...the ultimate humiliation. It made my anxiety quadruple....and I leaned on AL even more. I think if my sister had pulled me aside, alone...rather than in front of my whole family...it would have been much better for all of us. Humiliating me didn't make me want to stop drinking for myself....it compounded an already bad situation.

Papmom-I was so worried about you...I'm glad you're still with us....and I think you were wise to keep looking for a new job.

Shelley-:l How is your ailing kitty?

Cassia-ok, you said you wanted us to be brutally honest regarding the situation with your "mate." Funny, I thought that word just meant a guy's male friend. Jeez, I'm naive.
First of all, she tried to talk you out of moving to the US.....this tells me she was jealous of your freedom to be able to move, otherwise she would have been happy for you, and even if she had her doubts, she would have supported you anyway because that's what good "mates" do for each other. 2) Posting on FB that she is coming to visit you....i.e. inviting herself and her friend to stay with you is horrendously rude and she has no sense of manners. Hence, one of the reason I don't like FB...brings out juvenile behavior in adults. If I were you, I would find a reason NOT to let her stay with you. If you do let her stay with you, I think you'll regret it. Lastly...great job on leaving that position before you got downsized. Your dinner party sounds like fun....if I lived near you...I would invite myself....with your permission, of course.

Lav-enjoy your daughter and Lily and forget about us for awhile. Oh wait, now I see you are online. Couldn't stay away from us, could you?:H:H BUSTED! What time do you go to bed, woman?

Cyn-:h thank you for asking about me. Makes me feel loved.

Yawn, I am in Chicago working through this week....lots of hours. I have to get up at 3:45 a.m. so I can be at work at 4:45.

Anyone I missed....a big hello and massive hugs!

[sdlovespackers]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hello everyone!!

Just a quick check in for me tonight folks...been a heck of a day for me...even had a table thrown at me by a very angry/aggressive student....good times! Tomorrow morning I have to go have a CT Scan and X-ray...and the tests continue....(((sigh))). I did get my first B12 shot and was told by the doc he thought I'm lookin like I'm heading down the hypoglycemic road....also drew some more blood....so time will tell. I'm sure everything is just fine..I really think once the B12 does it thing I'll be feelin 100% in no time!!

The weather turned kinda nasty here today...what the heck??? LOTS AND LOTS of wind, temps dropped (A LOT)...even a TEENSY bit of snow....am I in Scotland??? :H

Rusty, sorry if this is too personal...but after your sister confronted you in front of your family and things got worse...how then did things get better....and how is your relationship with your sister now? ((I know...very personal questions....sorry))...I just related to what you said very much.:l

Alright, I'm sorry...I need to head to bed..I didn't get my nap after school.:H Have a Terrific Thursday Jewels!!!
SD

[Chillgirl]

January Jewels - Week 2

Good mornings beautiful jewels

SD - good to see you, hope the B12 sorts out how you are feeling, at least the Doc is being thorough.

Papmom - I sympathize so much, I earn very little but right now in the economy there are just no jobs that pay more. You can't take a drop of 10k so this job is not for you unless they can up the salary. At least you are keeping on looking, something one day will come along. Is the work from your Brother working out?

Cass - it's difficult without knowing your exact relationship with this friend. Yes she has behaved disappointingly but she is hurt you left, her behaviour is that of a spoiled child. However if the friendship is really important to you, it's not worth loosing it over pride. There are some that we outgrow and that have lifespans and others that are worth holding on to forever. When I went back to Portugal in Sept I saw everyone who was important to me except one girl who was too busy with work. Her and I don't keep in touch at all but we have a unique bond that transcends being apart. She will be my friend for life and when I see her again it will be exactly as it was. I'm the worst for keeping in touch and don't deserve the wonderful friends who constantly contact me. They could easily act on their egos and say that I don't reciprocate the friendship but they don't because they love me and that's all that matters.

Rusty - I can't imagine having to be at work at 4.45am, boy do you work hard girl!

I'm waiting for my ex to confirm the situ with the house in Portugal in terms of when the bank are likely to take it over. However I'm working on the basis of the worse case scenario and expecting no more rental from in after April. I therefore can't continue to pay my rent here and to downsize is just not an option as the little saving in rent would go on storage costs for my stuff. This means I won't be renewing my lease as it's also my employers they will ask where I'm going to live. Very soon I also intend to tell them I'm leaving. Where I'm going, I'm not quite sure but I will be leaving Scotland for sure. Going back to Portugal would use up every penny I have managed to save and once I got there I would still have no home and no job. I'm thinking I will move further South in the Uk 1st and see if I can settle somewhere away from this harsh coast. Still lots of planning to do and my timer is ticking.......

Have a wonderful AF Thursday guys.

[rustop59]

January Jewels - Week 2

Good morning everyone

Dill - I too would like to spend more time replying to posts but real life often takes over and the best I can do is have a quick read and check in when I can. At least that keeps me connected. Joining this thread has been one of the best things I ever did. I agree that we have to give up Al for ourselves. My hubby is a nightly wine drinker but can stop when he wants to, not keep going like I used to do (usually when alone). If he were not a drinker I think it would have affected our relationship more.

Cassia - I thought it was just me but I heard something on the radio the other day which said that when you reach a certain age 29!! you start to shed a lot of 'fair weather friends'. I thought it was just me that could not stand negative/nasty people in my life but I guess it is an age thing. You are younger but maybe like the drinking you will learn these lessons earlier in life.

Dew/SD/Papmom/Cyn and anyone else with health problems hope they all sort themselvies out soon.

Lav - Enjoy your daughter and Lily. You too LBH, enjoy your Swedish friends. I have been to Sweden a few times and love it.

Rusty - It feels like the middle of the night here at 8 a.m. (still dark), dont know how you manage such an early start.

Chill - Like Cassia, things will work out for you.

Star, Sooty and anyone else I missed have a great day.

Rustop

[Lavande]

January Jewels - Week 2

Morning jewels,

Waiting for the rain to die down a bit then heading out to the supermarket. Rained cats & dogs all night but it's supposed to be warm today - whi knows??

Yeah Rusty, I was up way too late last night.......I need to watch my caffiene intake

Wishing everyone a fabulous AF Thursday
Lav

[Dewdrop]

January Jewels - Week 2

I love logging on to hear everyone?s news but then I too feel guilty when I don?t have the time to respond to everyone, unfortunately time is tight yet again. I have had the most excruciating headaches the past couple of days and it has taken all my concentration and energy to keep up with work however I am just done in in the evenings and tonight I?m no better. I?m not looking forward to the flight home at this rate and I think I might see a doctor tomorrow.

Cass I would feel disappointed and annoyed by your ?mate?s? behaviour it really is very rude and not acceptable, I would be reassessing the relationship and deciding if this is someone I would want in my life. I don?t know the background but sometimes friendships change (very few are for life) and we move away from each other and that?s okay. A friend of mine moved to London a few years ago and has not kept in touch, we were friends for 12 years and I supported her through a lot of bad times. At first I was a bit aggrieved and tried to keep in touch but reached a point where I gave up and with reflection I can see that she took a lot from the relationship but gave very little back so it was no surprise really when she moved on. Maybe our paths will cross one day and I would be friendly and polite but that is all, I?ve moved on so much with my life and my eyes are firmly on the future not the niggles and baggage of the past.

Papmom :l keep trying there is definitely a post out there for you I feel it in my bones, try not to be too despondent. I know it can be hard at times when we keep struggling on and there seems no light at the end of the tunnel but I would urge you not to give up. You simply cannot stay where you are for the next 15 years ? that?s a lifetime! And during that time you will be unhappy and miserable so be good to yourself tonight and treat yourself like you would a good friend and come back fighting. You have achieved so much over the past couple of years and you work so hard at all the jobs and with the dogs you definitely deserve a break.

Okay gems that is all for tonight, busy day tomorrow and late flight home however I have my Indian Head Massage course at the weekend just hope I?m feeling better and able to do it.

Dewdrop :h

[Cassia]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hi all

Last one in the office again! I need to get a life methinks! Although I am working from home tomorrow - small blessings.

Lav - rain here was horrendous this morning and the roads were dangerous without any street lights, particularly on the highways. Hope you had a nice day with your family.

Rusty - work at 4:45?!?! I thought I was bad getting up at six! You poor thing. Mind and rest this weekend! You will need to tell me more about what you do - I am fascinated by the travelling and the hours you put in.

SD - I hope you are ok? Does that happen often in your job? Fingers crossed that the B12 injections work their magic. Let us know the results of your tests.

Chill - sounds like you know what you are doing. I have family who stay just outside of Bath and they get fantastic weather! It is far enough way from the coast that they don't get the brutal winds and it gets pretty warm in the summer. You can easily get to Bristol or even Cardiff from there. I also have friends who stay in Brighton - again that's on the coast but its the South East coast so their weather is also pretty good. Pay is better down there as well but cost of living is more expensive. Duh, I am sure you know all this! :H Best of luck!

Dew :upset: I am so sorry you aren't feeling well - the flight down probably did not help. Did you manage to get all your work done? Are you able to take it easy tomorrow? Feel better soon.

I want to thank you all so much for being very open and honest with me and you have given me a lot to go away and think about and hopefully make some decisions. My mate and I have been friends for over 10 years but the last year has been rocky. She didn't talk to me for three months at the beginning of last year as she didn't think I was making enough of an effort with her and mea culpa, I was pretty self absorbed because I was just in the early stages of getting off the booze. She knew all this. Anyway, I made a real effort to make sure I spent lots of time with her before I left - we talked nearly every day, we met up, I asked my friends to keep an eye on her when I left and invite her out to parties etc. But things have fallen away. I can honestly say that in the first few months I was here, I tried to make a real effort - emails, facebook, skype etc but I never felt like it was reciprocated. A couple of things happened and I tried to be there as much as possible for her - giving her advice, leaving work to call her, phoning her in the middle of the night so we could talk, dropping plans so we could talk. Our friendship was important to me. But something has changed. And yeah, you know what, it is part of my ego and my pride and that definitely warrants some self reflection. But I would go to the grave for any of my friends and I guess it's just been a bit of an eyeopener that not all friends feel the same. And I include all of you in that. If I could do anything for you, you only need to ask. That's what friends do. Wow, I feel like I might cry (rare occurrence). Anyway, this will resolve itself. I am a talker (as you all know) and I will no doubt have my chance to speak my piece to her.

I just want to say one more thing - I know I am no saint. I know in the past I have taken things for granted. I have tried to work on that. I may have done something that warranted this behaviour that I don't even realize and when it is brought to my attention it will all make sense. But I do feel I tried my best.

On another note - what's everyone's plans for the weekend? Lots of exciting things I hope!!!

xxx

[Rusty]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hi Everyone,

I am just dropping in for a bit. I hope no one feels left out if I don't mention them personally in my posts anymore. I just love this site and I have spent hours, happily lurking and posting....reading the various threads, but now I must focus as I study for the retake of my exam. I, like a few people here, feel guilty if I don't respond to someone when they want to vent, want input, etc.

Dew-gosh, I hope you get help for your headaches. I can't imagine how miserable you must feel.

SD-My sister and I are closer than ever. She is the most wonderful sister in the world and has always taken care of me and protected me. I might PM you all the details this weekend. We can then share our stories. And no, you were not being too personal. Regarding B12 shots, my doctor swears by them and I take the capsules and I get shots every few months. They're also supposed to help with my weight loss. NOT.

Cassia-I know how you feel regarding your mate. I had a very similar situation several years ago, and I was very hurt but I finally had to let it go. Hanging onto it was way too emotionally draining. I will PM you what I do for a living. Not at all glamorous, but hey, I wouldn't want to do anything else. For the last 2 days, I've worn a lab jacket, a hard hat, safety glasses and steel-toed shoes. No wonder I haven't had a date in years!:H

Lav, hope you had fun with your daughter and Lily.

Star-guess what? I finally saw The King's Speech. I love Colin Firth.

I must do some paperwork before I get to bed. It's 7:30 p.m. and I think I will drop off to sleep in a few minutes.

Have a wonderful AF evening!

xoxo

Rusty

[Lavande]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hope you finished your homework before you fell asleep Rusty :H

9:30 pm here, daughter trying to get grandaughter to go to sleep.....
It has been a nice day, the sun even made an appearance.

Cassia, try to not worry about old friends. Sometimes it's just best to move on. Everyone has their problems & may or may not be able to cope with the changes you've made in your life. I have had to let go of several (very) old friends over the years....they became toxic to me.

Good night to everyone!
Lav

[Chillgirl]

January Jewels - Week 2

Good Morning Jewels

yippee Friday! :yougo:

Cass - I just want to say that your last post made me feel really guilty. I have two friends in particular who have constantly tried to keep in touch with me by Skype, email and fb and i have not reciprocated which sounds crazy as I love these guys so much and know they are the best friends in the world. My reason for not picking up when they call is because i have been so down and don't want to always be moaning to them. Also their lives like mine used to be are interesting and full and I have felt I had nothing of any significance to say to them. Your post gave me a shake and I will make the effort to speak to both of them this weekend. Could your friend perhaps feel like I do? That you have a great and interesting life and she maybe feels inferior? Just a thought.

Rusty - I LOVED the Kings Speech! And Colin Firth :h

I have been so busy this week has flown by and I have been enjoying doing rental viewings and well as getting a property sale this week. Looking forward so much to the weekend for some exercise, rest and time with Elle. Have a wonderful Friday 13th guys and make it a lucky one!

[rustop59]

January Jewels - Week 2

Good morning everyone

Friday 13th, yikes had forgotten that. Does not make any difference to me either way.

My daughter has gone back to University and is off on a class trip to Belfast this week-end. It was nice having her home the past few weeks.

Going out to dinner Saturday evening to a new restaurant for hubby's birthday. Apart from that nothing else planned. Walk the goldie and catch up on chores.

Have a great week-end everyone.

Rustop