January Jewels - Week 2

[dill]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hello Jewells, It's been a winter's day here to be sure. No snow except for what is on the ground, but wind and cold and plenty of gray.
LBH, thank you for the rant. It was quite entertaining. My days of well-stocked liquor cabinets have passed. I could not be trusted with such. I don't think you need to feel the obligation you feel to have fixings for any drink imaginable. We drinkers have a warped sense of what is normal. I think truly that most people don't expect one to have a completely stocked bar, or liquor cabinet. That's one of those things WE think/thought important, but many more do not see it that way.

Star, I would not be honest if I said my return to my af journey was without difficulty. I am having a very hard time getting back on track but I have decided that I simply must be af and most of the time I am grateful for it. There are dark moments though. I try to look at the positives and one of the positives is the quality of my sleep. Much better! And my mood in general is brighter. Anyone else want to chime in on the perks? It might help us all to review!

Sped, yes I hate it when expected school delays fall thru as happened yesterday. Especially when the roads are as treacherous as they were yesterday and the weather so bitter. If anyone were to have trouble out on the roadway they could easily have frozen to death! On the other hand, I am glad I did get the evaluations done and didn't have to reschedule.

Rusty, Rustop, Lav, SD , Chill, Cassia, Cyn, Sooty, Papmom, Dew, and everyone following this thread, peace and strength to you. Get well, be well, stay well.:h

[Lavande]

January Jewels - Week 2

Good evening jewelled friends

Had a very unusual but pleasant day today!
Wound up driving to Princeton, NJ with my husband (of all people :H ), walked around town, visited some shops including the one my daughter is watching for her out of town SIL (lomg story), had dinner then turned around & headed home. It's a 2 hr drive each way but wasn't bad & it was a day off of the so-called farm

Shelley, I have never been to Oklahoma & it's not on my bucket list. Hope you get to Texas soon

LBH, I sure hope you are OK this weekend. The longer I am AF the less & less I care or worry about what/if I'm going to serve others. So much for my manners.....

Cassia, was I up in your area today? Somewhere nearby??

Dill & Star, you are having snow - I feel for you. It's just been cold & windy here the past few days so I won't complain. Stay warm you two.

Greetings & good night wishes to all!

Lav

[rustop59]

January Jewels - Week 2

Good morning everyone

Hope you are all enjoying your week-end. Went out to dinner last night for hubby's birthday. The meal was fantastic. I had crab to start with and then venison, red cabbage and mash and we shared a cheesecake for desert. I was driving so drinking was not an option. Rusty - I think you asked if I found it difficult hubby having wine around me and yes at times it is very difficult. Sometimes it does not cost me a thought but if the monkey is on my shoulder, ugh. I would say it is what has contributed to my many slips. However, I am not giving up and thanks to this thread I am consistently racking up AF time.

Cold and frosty here but have managed to get some nice walks in. Trying to organise something for the summer for us as a family. One of the options I came up with was a cruise on the mediterranean and now I see all those poor people dead in Italy after the cruise ship hit a sand bar. Girls want sun and shopping, hubby gets bored around a pool so the cruise seemed a good idea. Going to do some more homework before deciding anything.

Enjoy the rest of the week-end.

Rustop

[Stargazerlily]

January Jewels - Week 2

Good morning Jewels....

It is so cold, 6 degrees, but it finally stopped snowing. Perfect weather for soup and a fire, cuddling with the cats and hubby. Right now I am trying to warm up with a cup of coffee. We are in the middle of winter and there is nothing to do but enjoy it. (Except for driving home at night, the scary part).

Dill, I understand how hard it is to get back in the habit of Afness after a time of drinking. I always just think, one day at a time and that helps. The benefits so outweigh the negatives so let's start. Sleeping, decreased anxiety, decreased depression, respect for yourself, respect from others, time for reading, cleaning, cooking, exercise, being in relationships, desire for new things, health, remembering your evenings, being the best of who you are. There, that's a start. Your are such a lovely person, with a rich life experience and the ability to share yourself. You are a jewel.

Cassia, nice dinner and shopping! Have fun and get some cool boots. I have several pairs and love wearing them in the winter. It helps me manage the cold.

Chill, hope you slept OK, right now I am watching a beautiful sunrise over the snowy trees. Beautiful. Take care of yourself today.

Rustop, what is mash? Sounds like a lovely dinner. I would find it hard to be AF if my husband was not on board. Good for you.

Lav, a day trip that sounded like fun. You are lucky the snow has not come to your area yet.

Not reading anything interesting at the moment. Anyone have suggestions? Thanks.

Have a lovely and peaceful Sunday, filled with whatever you want, AF.

[Lavande]

January Jewels - Week 2

Good morning Rustop, Star & all Jewels!

Sunny & very chilly here today ~ OK, it is winter!

Rustop, I miss those days of taking the family somewhere nice for fun & sun. It was always hectic but definitely enjoyable I guess I should consider myself quite lucky that there is no one opening a bottle of wine in front of me on a regular basis. That would tempt me from time to time even though I know I wouldn't stop at 1 or 2 glasses

Star, yesterday you mentioned seeing a doc about menopausal symptoms - do it!!
There is no point in suffering needlessly & some of us definitely do suffer more & longer than others.
Since I had my dosage adjusted back up last summer I am much, much better
I am also sleeping much better which is a big thing!!

Well, I need to get myself to the supermarket & find something for dinner. DIL & grandsons coming later - fun, fun

Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Sunday!

Lav

[dill]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hi Lav, Star, Rustop and all to come,
I just got back from church where I was mulling things over and trying to get some inspiration to keep going on this AF track. I did find some, too. I was greeted on my way to church with the same absolutely awe-inspiring sunrise that you saw, Star! I couldn't believe the color and intensity of that orange sphere as it slowly emerged from the pale gray/white frosty horizon. It looked so warm and like it was promising to warm the arctic like landscape. Yes, 4 degrees here this morning. It's supposed to warm up into the twenty's. Thank you for your positive comments and encouragement, Star. They were very much appreciated.

[Dewdrop]

January Jewels - Week 2

I made it home late Friday night but the flight was painful like severe toothache all over my head, the doc recommended not flying until the pain stopped but there was no way I was staying in Manchester for the weekend I wanted home. He gave me antibiotics (said was probably viral but just in case) a migraine med (apparently migraine and sinus infection can trigger the same areas) and an antihistamine, said to inhale steam frequently and take pain killers. Anyhoo I?m home and feeling much better and what a woos, honestly there are people really suffering in this world and I can?t complain.

I made it to my Indian Head Massage course and loved, loved, loved it, the tutor gave me a couple of hands on sessions to help clear my head and do you know it helped immensely ? and now I know how to do it myself!! Okay maybe the meds were working by then but I could feel the difference before and after the treatments. Loved the people on the course, the tutor, the treatment and it's accredited ? real food for thought on incorporating holistic therapies into my plans for the future (just wish it paid more)

I was reading the posts on struggling, monkey mind and how difficulties creep in on this, and any, journey and it made me think. The mind is a wonderful thing is it not and the key for me is to be in control and keep out the negative self talk at all times but it?s not easy. I find the quicker that I can recognise that I am on that slippery slope to negative doubts and stop them in their tracks the easier it is to stop them altogether and change track onto positive thoughts. For me that means ?Stop it right now Dew, one drink is never enough, one drink leads to a bottle or two which leads to huge cravings for weeks and months. One drink gives me nothing but misery and despair. Just stop it right now.? And I actively and forcefully change moods by putting on some uplifting music, reading a piece of poetry or a book, walking fast, meditating, watch a drama on telly ? anything (and I have a long list in my tool box) that I can use immediately to change my frame of mind and the more I do that the less and less frequently the thoughts occur and develop into cravings. I don't always succeed but I keep trying. I need to remember that I'm in control of my mind not my mind that's in control of me. Why self sabotage myself??

On another note, for those of you who are knitters I found an amazing pattern for a jacket last year and I am promising myself that I will knit it this year so if I post it here I?ll be held accountable by you guys to get on with it in 2012. It?s called the Fireside Sweater by Amber Allison and I found it on the Ravelry site, you can also see it by searching for My Holiday Sweater on Poshknits. Now I realise it might be a bit difficult because it?s done by charts and I have always just followed a pattern previously and never a chart but I do want the jacket and I figure I can work it out somehow!! Also maybe one or two of you guys can help me out if I get stuck. I plan on having it finished for the autumn, just need to find the right wool now.

Off to read back and catch up.

Dewdrop :h

[Chillgirl]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hi Jewels

Dewdrop - Im glad you are feeling better, I like the sound of the indian head massage course, I SO love getting one.

I have been struggling again with depression and havent slept well now all week, I didnt even make my spin class this morning. I have been looking at rooms to rent in shared houses and flats and keep coming up against the same problem.... almost none will accept pets. Im also sad at having to get rid of all my lovely furniture but the storage costs are too much. Im trying to summon up the energy to list it all and get it advertized.

Sorry to be on such a downer, im looking for the positive and im healthy and sober and will get through this. I finally bought St John's Wort which will take a few weeks to kick in but will hopefully help.

[Cassia]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hi all

It is a freezing cold day here as well...couldn't get out for my run.

Chill - I don't know what happened to your post from earlier...it's disappeared! I am sorry that you are feeling depressed. I know before I take any big decisions I go through a period of depression as it's so overwhelming and there seems to be no end in sight. Even though you are doing all the right things its just such a hard work, and can seem like you might never get there. Fortune favors the bold so just keep at it and you will get there.

Lav - did you go up route 1? If you continue up that road for just over an hour you will reach me. Princeton is a beautiful town, my sis works there. Enjoy the evening with your family.

Dill - you asked earlier about the perks of being AF. For me, they are: not regretting what I might have said/done the night before, being able to enjoy each day and not lying in bed with a hangover, getting better quality in my workouts, being more present for the important people in my life, finding that I still have the drive and ambition that I had in my late teens/early twenties, being able to deal with situations like an adult and being more in control of my emotions. I still have very dark moments and get restless but they pass. It is hard but that's what makes it worth doing. The rewards outweigh the dark moments You are a brilliant person - friendly, caring and honest. Please keep sharing and anything I can do to help and support you please let me know.

Star - I am a newshound at the moment so I haven't read too much lately. I would suggest the help if you haven't read it. I read the book before I saw the movie. The american wife is very good. I also read crime and some of the best authors are Linda fairstein, Tess Gerritsen and Karin slaughter (-although they can be quite harrowing). For funny books, I love Marian Keyes (she is an Irish author). Hope this helps! I didn't get any boots but two lovely dresses, two tops and a skirt!

Dew - sounds like a painful journey back but worth it to be at home. I have never been for an Indian head massage - I might do that when I am back in Glasgow! I completely agrees with your comments on the monkey mind particularlymthat we control it and not the other way around.

Rustop - I am sure I read in the guardian that Spain was pretty reasonable this year out of all the European countries. You could go to Mallorca and maybe do a mini cruise round the balearics? Palma has great shops, Ibiza has amazing markets and it isn't just a party island. Don't know much about menorca except that it is quiet.

Big howdy and hugs to everyone else! P3 - please check in babes.

We had a nice day yesterday. My childhood friend came round with her wee girl and we played and went for a nice dinner. Then my hubby and I watched Moneyball and Midnight in Paris, both excellent films. I went to Mass today and then made some brownies and caught up with my friend on Skype. She is planning on coming over in oct which is awesome! Tonight is a golden globes party and some food.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday all!

Xx

[Lavande]

January Jewels - Week 2

9 pm & 16 degrees at the moment Dill. Glad you enjoyed the sunrise (I wasn't up early enough to witness it myself)

Cassia, yes we did drive on Rt 1 yesterday. I wasn't sure how much further north you are. Sounds like you had a good shopping trip & weekend.

Had a nice dinner with kid, grandkids & even my persistently confusing husband :H
Well, at least he's being pleasant (wish I knew why)

Wow Dew, glad you were able to get yourself home & settled somewhat. The head massage course couldn't have happened at a better time for you - sounds very interesting!

We are indeed in control of our minds & resposnsible for our thoughts & subsequent actions. Negative thinking is a bad habit, one that can be changed just like changing a bad radio station playing in your head. I did all that work on myself just before finding MWO & I know it really helped me succeed.

Have a comfy evening one & all.

[dill]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hi Lav, we got up to a whopping 25F this afternoon. I pretty much stayed inside most of the day. I busied myself making double chocolate-walnut biscotti. It is devilishly delicious!

Cassie, thanks for adding to the list of positives. At the moment "being more present for the important people in my life" is a thought that does keep me focused and motivated. It's a benefit of AF and at the same time it is a motivation to be AF. Thanks for your encouraging and kind words.

Chill, I saw your post earlier and send you positive thoughts and strength. I know things are very difficult for you at present, but you are a spiritual person and you have a true sense of what really matters in life. You're tenacious and strong, too. Hang in there:

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. "
~ Ivy Baker Priest


Dew, your knitting projects sounds interesting. Would you be able to post a picture of it when it's complete? And when you said: ?Stop it right now Dew, one drink is never enough, one drink leads to a bottle or two which leads to huge cravings for weeks and months. One drink gives me nothing but misery and despair. Just stop it right now.? , I thought you could have been talking directly to me. It's the exact same for me. And to think just knowing that isn't enough in itself! Still we have to make an effort to, as you say "actively and forcefully change" our moods, thoughts and actions. Thanks for sharing that.

Peace and strength.:h

[Rusty]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hi Guys...

Dill-you are such a classy woman....I so admire your forthrightness....if that's a word. I
am glad you had a peaceful day. For me, the biggest benefit to being AF is that I finally feel like I am going to shed the 65 pounds I gained. I am halfway there...and I just know that if I start drinking again, the weight will go right back on. You know what.....I could not bear that humiliation again because I would know....and everyone else would know that I started drinking again. It just became a vicious cycle for me...feeling ashamed of how I look...running into people I hadn't seen in a while and seeing the look of horror on my face. Also, my family has a history of colon cancer and drinking puts me at a greater risk, and lastly, drinking will interfere with my goals.

I was lurking on the Daily Thread and I saw this excellent post from Greeneyes.

I read something interesting in a magazine about making/acting on decisions or choices that sabatoge your goals (think sobriety).

Ask yourself these questions before doing it.
1. In an hour, what will I be more happy/pleased/proud that I did?
2. What choice would lead to the least amount of regret?
3. What would the person I ASPIRE TO BE choose right now?

Wow....isn't that powerful?

A shoutout to Papmom....check in, please!


To all, a peaceful AF Sunday night.

[sdlovespackers]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hello Jewels!!

Well once again another weekend comes to an end...very sadly if you are a Packer fan I'm afraid!! That was horrific!! However, there WERE some very exciting football games this weekend....I SUPPOSE if you like Brady you enjoyed last nights game...:H I thought the the 49ers/Saints game was pretty awesome...the last 4 minutes had me on the edge of my seat!! Anyway...as you can tell I was busy watching sports...my son had a friend sleepover which ended up being a whole weekend affair...so he was having fun too!! He had his first basketball game on Saturday morning...they got their butts whooped!!! 57-9!! YIKES...I'm thinkin there is room for improvement here!! :H I will say my son never gave up and hustled his little buns the entire game...gave 110%!! Very proud of him!!

Dew--I really liked what you said about negative self talk and that I'm in control of my mind and not the other way around. I'm not sure I'm struggling with cravings or taking that first drink...I think it's just negative thoughts in general...I'm not sure why??? If that makes sense???

Chill--Cass made a comment that there was a missing post from you about being depressed...I'm sorry I missed it...I think we may be feeling some of the same feelings. I know you really want out of your current situation, as do I. I was online again looking for jobs...anywhere. Today I found one in Wisconsin...hey, I love the Packers, why not right?? I want so badly to get out of this funk...and to be that fun person that laughed and loved life and people...is there anything we can do for each other to help each other get through this rough time...I'm willing to try anything...:l

Dill--that sunrise, as you described it, sounded amazing!! You asked what were some of the positive thing about being sober...and I sure did like the list that Star came up with...I wish some of the ones on her list were happening a little faster for me...lol...being almost 7 months AF I think what I like most is waking up and not feeling ashamed or realizing once again what a horrible mother I was the night before. I guess what I don't think has changed is how I feel on the inside...stressed, anxious, sad...I don't know how get those things to go away yet....I thought they would by now....I think that's the biggest part a hold back from starting any kind of relationship with anyone....I don't feel "fixed" yet. :upset:

Sorry...I think my son and his friend keeping me up until 3am has me kind of overly tired and emotional tonight...or perhaps it's the Packer loss....I think I'm going to call it a night early and I'll check back in tomorrow!! Big hugs to everyone yet to check in!!
SD

[Chillgirl]

January Jewels - Week 2

Hi guys

I'm sorry I deleted my post, I just dont want to seem like Im always complaining.
Not feeling too great so may have to visit the Doc.

SD - sorry you are in a funk too, sounds like you are ready for a change. Wishing you much strength.

Rusty - thanks for Greenies post, I love it!