January Jewels - Week 3

[rustop59]

January Jewels - Week 3

Good morning everyone

Thank you all for sharing so much about your lives. It is wonderful to have an outlet like this where we can pour our hearts out and get caring, helpful advice. Hoping that those of you with health/depression issues soon come out the other end. We all probably suffer from depression at one stage or another but are never diagnosed or seek help. For a lot of us Al was our escape mechanism and we all know where that got us!!!

It is so dark here in the morning, it is depressing. I am a real early bird but at this time of year I just feel like staying in bed. Daughter one is back in university and my other daughter is getting ready for exams. I am keeping busy with my walk, swimming etc. I have started cleaning out our filing cabinet. It is amazing all the junk we keep. I also decided not to play chicken and go back to weight watchers. I had lost 1.5lb, have about another 8.5 to loose and my goal is to stick at it and get gold membership.

Dont have time to address you all individually but you are all in my thoughts and I am thinking of you and sending you healing vibes.

Rustop

[Rusty]

January Jewels - Week 3

Good Morning Everyone,

Thank yuo all so much for your words of support yesterday. I had a meltdown, and it lasted all day. I know what caused it, though. It was my first trip on a plane after the holidays. I cannot believe I could have forgotten that....as I went through the same thing last year, and the year before It's my post-holiday letdown once I return to work where I have a trip where I have to fly. I have no fear of flying, terrorism....the security measures don't bother me...I don't know what it is. I was fighting off drinking thoughts all day...but thanks to everyone here, I remain an AF person....as I read and re-read everyone's posts over and over again.

LBH- I was appalled at the chutzpah of your guests to stay another day! They missed that day in school where the teacher talked about overstaying your welcome. I never stay at people's homes when I travel...I am such an early riser and I feel uncomfortable...worrying about waking people up, etc. You had growths removed from your colon???? Were they cancerous? Gosh, what you've been through recently. Thank you also for sharing your experience about depression. You're right...it FEELS so much worse to someone going through it. Please take care of yourself while you recover and swear of visitors unless they wait on you hand and foot.

Chill-I hope you are feeling better today. I felt so helpless yesterday that I didn't how to comfort you.

Rustop, great job on the weight loss. I have known so many people who have had success on WW and you're one of them.

Sooty-you're so sweet. My sister called me Cupcake when I was in my teens. Thank you again for your lovely PM. I have re-read it many times ((((HUGS))))

Dew-so sorry that you had to witness drunk people on your trip. We thought we were so sophisticated when we were swilling wine on those trips, didn't we? NOT.

Papmom-I sure wish you could find another job-yours sounds exasperating.

Lav-thanks for the link on Balance. I will check it out when I come home from work today.

Cyn-felting? I will Google it.

Well, something funny did happen yesterday. I was at the Atlanta Airport, walking through the crowded terminal when this really good-looking man, dressed in a black double-breasted top coat (my favorite) smiled at me. Well, I was so flabbergasted that I smiled back after my mouth fell open and continued to gawk at him while he walked past me. Lost in my fantasy of him kissing me....BAM!.....I walked right into a magazine stand!:H

To anyone I may have missed....Dill, Shelley, Cassia, have a wonderful AF Thursday.

[dill]

January Jewels - Week 3

Hello Jewells, I am so pleased that everyone sounds like they are doing so well and that thoses who are struggling with depression are taking action and taking care of themselves. I went through a period of depression a few years back when my son was in Iraq. I never told my doc about my drinking and she put me on lexapro. I was willing to try it because in my warped wine-drenched mind, I thought it would help me quit drinking! HA! In fact it turned out that it had the opposite affect. My drinking increased and I was more of a mess than before! I never told the doc about that, either. I took myself off the drug (not smart) by gradually decreasing the dose, but not as gradually as a doc would have recommended I am quite sure. I went through some hallucinations and had other symptoms all of which I never reported to my doctor. I ended up with a thyroid condition although I don't know for a fact if that was related or coincidental. Couldn't ask my doc, obviously!!! I had to take thyroid meds for awhile but eventually things leveled out and I got off the thyroid meds. I kept on drinking throughout it all. This also coincided with menopause, so you can imagine I wasn't at my best that year! I have found that the quickest way to a brighter mood and outlook is to stick a cork in the bottle and super-glue it shut! I know you all must think I am crazy after reading that, but hey, I was depressed, drinking like a fish and menopausal! What more can I say?:H

Rusty, the boat name: 'we' never came up with one. HB took the boat in for some work and the next time I saw the boat I noticed some letters on the back. He wanted to surprise me with and that he did. In real life, my name is Nancy. On the back of our boat are the letters "Nan Sea". He's a sweetheart and a definite keeper!

Star, I'm glad you enjoyed Mohun's post. I did too. How I posted the link: I recalled that Mohun had started the thread recently and that I liked it. I search Mohun on the Members list and found his/her name. I clicked on "find all threads started by Mohun". I found the thread then I copied the address to it in the address line at the top left of my internet browser. I then pasted it into the post window.

Dew, I've been sleeping a lot longer with these long winter nights, too. Plus I find it is a good substitute for numbing my brain with wine. I have noticed the days are getting longer and I am going to have to learn how to stay up later or I'll be going to bed before the sunset this summer!!

LBH,:l:l:l take good care of yourself and recouperate as quickly as you can. I will have you in my thoughts and prayers, you dear soul.:h

Pap, SD, Rustop, Cyn, Lav, Chill, Sooty, Cassia, Sped, All readers,
Strength and AF peace to you.

[Chillgirl]

January Jewels - Week 3

Hi Jewels

Dill - God what a story about your meds! Arent we so ridiculous when we are drinking?! When I broke my ribs (due to drinking) I was on heavy pain killers and sleeping pills which were not to be mixed with AL, not in a million years would I have even attempted to not drink back then so I only took half the meds and convinced myself the two bottles of wine acted as as good pain killers!

Rusty - Sorry you were in a bad place yesterday, that flying anxiety after having a break is curious and Im wondering what underlying issue it stems from? Do you think its to do with being apart from family again after a period at home? I remember how stressed your last trip to Paris was. Sending you much love :l

When Starty was here the other weekend we discussed how in the 1st year of sobriety you have a major focus in your life and in a strange way when AL is no longer such a big issue, you miss that determination that drives you. I have decided to put that same energy on beating this depression and the fight that it is stirring in me I feel is a really positive energy. I havent managed to come up with any solutions to my dilemmas but I realize I need my strength of mind back before I can do anything. On checking the small print in my lease I find that only one month notice is required and not two. Although it still expires at the same time, I have an extra 4 weeks before I have to physically give notice and that is a good reprive.

[cyntree]

January Jewels - Week 3

Morning all - evening, Chilly! What an enlightening post - It's interesting, the idea of that initial determination, and then what comes after. You are the poster-girl of determination, so go that will uphold through all of this.

Long days getting HB ready to leave on his latest job. He just left for the city where he'll be working, 3 hours away. At least it is driveable for us to commute to see one another.

LBH - I gave a dinner on Sunday night, and a birthday celebration on Tuesday that turned into an all-day event, and I was crabby about it all! UUUgh, your story of the guests; I would have lost my mind. And then your procedure on top of it all --- I do hope that all news is good.

Well, off to a part-time job interview. (8 degrees here this morning) I've been a sole proprietor so long that I can't remember the last time I even had a job interview - college maybe. This will be interesting! Awakened at 4:00 this morning with worries careening around, and very strange dreams later that I hope to retell at some point.

Life is interesting, no?! Wishing all a good day -

[Lavande]

January Jewels - Week 3

Good morning Jewels!

Something in the air causing weird dreams? I sure had them too......

Bright & sunny this morning, light snow on the schedule for tonight - oh well, it is winter.
Watching grandsons again tonight so saving some energy for that!

Good luck with the job interview cyn

Rusty, glad you are getting back to yourself. Put your name on the email list for the Chopra Center. I love their stuff

Chill, have you tried talking to your landlord in person about your situation - is that possible? If it's an individual (not some corporation) you may just find them sensitive to your situation - just sayin...

Dill, your description of your depressive time sounded a whole lot like mine. I think women are almost pushed into it by society. It's not easy being perfect, is it?
Just happy we found our way out & are here together to share our 'war stories'

Hello Rustop, SD, LBH, Sooty, papmom & everyone I'm not remembering at the moment.
I have to admit feeling a touch 'ancient' today as my daughter turns 35 today - yikes! How the hell did that happen??????

Have a terrific AF Thursday one & all!

Lav

[Dewdrop]

January Jewels - Week 3

Oh Rusty ! I laughed aloud at your tale of walking into the magazine stand ? just too funny :H Rustop congrats on the 1.5lbs lost and good luck with the rest I know you can do it. SD -9 degrees!!! My goodness and I thought we?d had it cold recently but no way is it as cold as that. It was 3 degrees when I got into my car tonight to drive home. Dill ? Nan Sea how sweet and what a lovely thing to do he sounds like a real catch. Lav when my son turned 30 it was the first time I actually felt ?ancient? you know? It?s not that I was feeling old myself but having a son in his 30?s suddenly made me acutely aware of the passing years.

Chill I think your new found determination to beat this depression has given you a focus and a way of gaining back some control of your life which is good, keep on top of that energy and keep moving forward. Papmom so glad that you are on the mend but sorry to hear you have so much work, take care of yourself honey. It?s good to have you back on the thread we miss you and your boundless enthusiasm. Cyn good luck with the interview and if it?s what you want I hope you get it, if not it?s always good interview experience for the right one.

Nothing much to report back tonight except I?m tired and will sleep like a log again tonight! The training went well but the trainer and her side kick were like wet rags till at least lunchtime, I on the other hand was as fresh as a daisy and felt a bit smug (bad Dewdrop!). Tomorrow?s Friday so nearly at the weekend. Hi to everyone else Sooty, lbh, cassia and anyone I?ve missed. I?m off for a soak in the bath.

Dewdrop :h

[Chillgirl]

January Jewels - Week 3

Evening guys

Hi Dewdrop - a little smug is definitely allowed, i even feel a bit smug for you

Dill - The boat name is absolutely perfect! I cant wait to tell my Mother whose name is also Nancy. I have a friend called Jackie and her husband called their boat Wacky Jacky!

Cyn - Im dying to know how your interview went, I bet you were fab! What is the job for?

Rusty - Im seeing the scene in the airport as the start to a great rom com, you are too funny! :H

Lav - We are so very fortunate having this wonderful group of individuals to share our "war stories" with. Im afraid I feel like im still out there in the middle of the battlefield right now dodging bullets but Im repeating the mantra "and this too shall pass".

One day when we are all a bit older and greyer I visualize us in our virtual rockers all in a row, on the porch, having conversations like:
"remember them days Lav when you were out chasing chickens!
Rusty you were flying all over the damn world!
Papmom you never sat on your ass for 5 minutes :H
And Chill you crazy old bird, you were always out there chasing rainbows...."

Maybe I will start a thread soap based on the "old jewels"

[papmom3]

January Jewels - Week 3

whoo boy Rusty-you gave me a great belly laugh with that airport story!!! I was thinking the same thing Chill!

Dew-I too think you have every right to be smug!!! Safe travels back tomorrow!!

Cyn-how did the interview go???

Chill-Your attitude is great-keep it up sweetie and in no time the world will be all pink again!!

Dill-I too love the name of your boat!! Your husband is not only very sweet but very clever!!

Lav-hope you're having a fun time with the GSs!!

Rustop-congrats on the weight loss! Keep up the great work!!

SD-any more news about your tests? Hope you're feeling OK.

So another day is done. Not as crazy as yesterday but not as productive either. I'll definitely be working through the weekend which means I can't go to my breed club's playday. Not all that upset tho as the weather is supposed to be treacherous duing the event. I'll be home snug and warm and not worrying about getting home. I also have a ton of laundry and cleaning to do so I'm Ok with staying home.

Heard from my NH boss today and she thinks she can wait for me. We agreed I'd return on the second. I was hoping to delay until the weekend but didn't want to push it.

I've been kidding around with my dad about moving to NC and living in a life care facility together. I wonder how much I'm actually kidding??

Speaking of feeling ancient, I can't imagine how my dad feels with all 3 kids now in our 50's!!

[Lavande]

January Jewels - Week 3

Grandkids here & gone early for a change - phew! :H

Dew, feel as smug as you like while you watch the others suffer
I'm having a bit of a time comprehending that my kids are so old :H
I am ( and should be) grateful to still be here to witness as this but.......

Rusty, your airport story was hysterical :H
I hope you see that same guy again the next time you're there!!!

Chill, if you would rather chase chickens than rainbows come on over
I'm sure you will find what you're looking for soon!

papmom, it is supposed to be a shitty weekend weatherwise - always preferred to be working them myself! Your Dad is fortunate to have all of you in his life! And be careful what you wish for re living arrangements - geez!

Dill, the boat name is awesome!
I hope to have someone name a boat after me in my next lifetime....

OK, wishing everyone a cozy night!
Lav

[ladybirdheart]

January Jewels - Week 3

Just a quick goodnight from here, I am going to wind down with a book and visions of chicken chasing, paper chasing, rainbow chasing, handsome stranger distractions, and a boat named the ?Nan Sea?. Should be good. Love, Ladybird.

[Stargazerlily]

January Jewels - Week 3

Good morning all...

I am up really early, about 5 a.m. It is supposed to snow with another 7-8 inches after getting about 6 yesterday. Woohee!! Good thing I bought all those boots.

Lots of activity on the thread...so great to read all the sharing. I too feel old with a daughter almost thirty. Dew, it is a source of satisfaction to be feeling healthy when others got drunk and feel sick. So what, that is one of the reasons we commit to being AF.

Chill, glad your fighting spirit is back, this winter sure does seem long...

Pap, sounds like you are getting better slowly but surely, take good care of yourself and enjoy your cosy time at hom.

Rusty, good traveling, I could see where it would at times produce stress, I travel over an hour a day and feel stressed. We just have to accept what we have to do, right? Sometimes it is easier than other times.

Cyn, good luck on your job search. I always like job interviews, isn't that weird? Most go great, but even the crappy ones are interesting. It is always, geez, I am so glad I don't have to work for her/him. I know you will fine.

I have been struggling with cravings, but have made it through so I am grateful. I don't know what it is, but I wish it would go away.

To all, have a great day.

[dill]

January Jewels - Week 3

“Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense”
Winston Churchill quotes

Star, I think the cravings are "seasonal". The dark hours of the day are so long and the possibilities of enjoying the out-of-doors is so limited. Cabin fever is setting in. Me too. Hang in there and you'll be happy you did. :h

Thank you all for the comments about the "Nan Sea". I will look for a picture this weekend and put it in a post. It's not a great big yacht or anything, just a nice boat. We had a lot of fun on it last summer and I have never once been drinking on that boat! Everytime we went to the lake last summer, I knew I would be af. The memory of it is very sweet. Sunsets on Lake Erie are beautiful and watching the water and the waves during the sunny days was so relaxing I often became calm and meditative. Last summer I may have drifted completely into the abyss, but for the Nan Sea.

Dew, your description of watching the others go back for more bar time while you quietly left, went to your room and tucked yourself in bed inspired me. I used to be one of the ones in the bar...more likely, buying wine and taking it up to my room. Either way, feeling dog-eared for the morning's presentations. I avoid going to professional meetings because of the temptations. But your post made me want to go again so that I could experience it as you described. I want to feel smug!

Chill, your mom is named Nancy? What a nice coincidence. I am glad you are back to posting more. It was lonely here when you were keeping to yourself. I knew somthing must be wrong and it was worrisome.

Lav, Cluck Cluck!

Pap, I think your idea of moving to NC is not that far a stretch. You might ought to give it some serious thought. I'm sure your dad would love it, and NC is a lovely state.

I wish I had time to address everyone, but I'll be late if I do. I love reading your posts.

Must go for now. Peace and af strength.

[cyntree]

January Jewels - Week 3

Dear Jewels, what a spirit resides here! I have the concentration of a gnat, so I never can remember what it is that I want to say to each one of you here, but anyway well done everyone! Rusty, you are amazing, in the midst of a low day, to relate such a hilarious story to us, thanks. Dill, what a lovely tale of naming the boat, and amazing to hear that you kept the craft as your AF lifeboat last summer. Isn't it nice to have one physical place in your life that has remained clear of that influence? (and BTW, FANTASTIC QUOTE) Chill, I loved your recounting of us all in our rocking chairs, so accurate and lighthearted. Star, wow, a lot of snow - we're finally due for some here tomorrow, we'll see...

Thanks all for your sweet inquiries about the 'job' interview. I think I may have been given a gift...the job was for copying and collating tax returns, and checking them. Sort of mindless, but at this point any income would be welcome. The problem is my schedule, and having to travel to see HB, if I have any chance of seeing him at all in the next 3 months...so I was in despair even before I went to the interview. As it turns out, the proprietor of this Tax Business is a fabulous, jolly woman who is in the midst of big changes in her small practice (run out of her enormous victorian-style home in a near-by town). After some conversation she asked me about my writing skills (please know - not on display here on the thread!). I described to her the volumes of content that I have been responsible for in various positions I've held. And.....she offered me a job writing the blogs for her website! 3 a week, about subjects that I know nothing, but holy cow! I drove home thinking, 'someone is going to pay me to write', 'someone is going to pay me to write'. It won't be as much $$ as standing at a copying machine all day, but it is inching me down a road that I have been eyeing for a long time. I'm still in happy astonishment, and wrote 3 pieces of my own yesterday just out of sheer joy. So we'll see how it all turns out...the job may fizzle, but the cleansing emotion and sense of possibility that it has brought me has been a great shot in the arm.
Thanks for listening! I send best bright happy wishes to each one of you today -

[rustop59]

January Jewels - Week 3

Hi everyone

Cyn - meet your knat sister, I am the exact same. Well done on the job. Dill - thanks for the wonderful quotes, inspirational as always. Rusty - you brought a smile to my face once again.

Am rushing as my daughter finishes school early so just checking in quickly. Even if I dont get to write, I try to read as much as I can to keep up with all of you.

Have a great week-end everyone.

Rustop