Saturday January 10th

[Mackeral]

Saturday January 10th

Bloody hell Paul...What an ankle grabber....You are a calmer man than i.
The luggage AND Mrs Macks would have gone straight in the dock along with a few choice words being screamed..

[Popeye]

Saturday January 10th

A total bummer but we ended up enjoying the trip, which is just as well. 300 miles in 7 hours.
I'll arrange it better next time.
I'm off to bed now. It's been a long but pleasant day. Thanks chums.....I'm gonna stick another '0' in the Drinktracker. Good Night All!

[Java]

Saturday January 10th

I am going to start tommorow AF (again) hopefully it will work, I am going to take the supplements and just tro to go for it. I am also quitting smoking, I know most of you would say don't do both, but to be honest i smoke when i drink more than any other time, i can quit smoking and have before,and I don't look at it the same way at all, plus if I cannot smoke then drinking would be really difficult without smoking, and I made a sincere promise that tommorow is the day i would qui, I am going to just tyr to occupy myself till i get tired enough to go to sleep, take it one day at i time, i learned in the past when I quit smoking it is easier for me to have a reason to avoid a drink, boyfriend is out of town for a couple of weeks, so I am using this opportunity as a way to get healthy, when he comes home and sees how great i look i think the motivation from that will keep me going. I am excited to see the new me. i don't care about losing wieght or anything. I just want to feel better. Wish me luck guys.

[Birdman]

Saturday January 10th

Good Luck

New Girl,

:goodjob: Whatever the reason today is always the very best day to begin. You are in the right place. These people have picked me up and carried me along without even knowing it. You can do it.

Lisa, I know it has been several hours since your last post but I just wanted to say what great wisdom that was to not let how you felt determine whether or not you would work out or drimk each day. Once you read it, it seems so simple yet I have to admit that is what I have been doing for the oast thirty years.

And Mike you continue to inspire.

Thank you everyone and God bless.

Birdman

[Accountable for Me]

Saturday January 10th

Day 8 and it was TOUGH!

Congrats to all for another sober day!

mikeupnorth - way to go! Whooo! Hooo! Your post in one of the threads really kept me sober today - it really did. The way you describe the alcohol. I so wanted to go to the liquor store this afternoon, but kept thinking about what you said. Thank you!

And Lisa! That is awesome. Give yourself a HUGE pat on the back! Keep up the good work!

I know there are others who have made some pretty significant milestones, and please don't be offended if I didn't mention you personally. You all are a HUGE inspiration for us starting out here! And for others who need the strength to get them through another day. AWESOME JOB GUYS!

Well it is 4:30pm here. This day has gone SOOOO slow. I think it has to do with the holidays being over and now it is the weekend. Even with this cold and a child who has a cold, I still had to fight it with everything.

Old habits reak havoc on the brain. 8 days for me. My liver is Oh, so, thankful.

Thank you all for the wonderful, inspirational posts. You really got me through a tough day mentally - obsessing for that drink!

[YoungAtHeart]

Saturday January 10th

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to post that I haven't been doing so great in the New Year, although I'm really happy that everyone else is. I haven't returned to my prior level of drinking or everything, but I have had two or three glasses of wine almost every day since the holidays began. In that sense, I don't feel "in control" at all. Consequently, I've been visiting the site every day, but I haven't really been doing much of any posting. I'm definitely feeling down on myself.

One of the problems I'm having is that when I take my 200 mg dose of topamax (which I handled fine in the summer), I find I am having a heck of a time trying to stay awake for my clients. This is very discouraging, to say the least. For the last month or so, at times, I have felt like I have been trying to swim through a mental pea soup with them at times. In the last month, I have also had my phone turned off because I forgot to pay the bill, and I had to pay a fine because I forgot to get my emissions test on my car (haha, only 3 months late!)! A lower dose doesn't quite do it for me. So anyway, I may have to explore the possibility of Campral or just "white knuckling" it on a lower dose for a while. Meantime, I'm just trying to get my head back together about the whole thing. I was doing well for quite a while, so this is a bit discouraging.

Anyway, I want to thank Macks, who encouraged me to post. I'm so used to being the upbeat and supportive YoungAtHeart, and I haven't been that upbeat person lately, at least as far as drinking is concerned. And, truth be told, it does feel better to write this down and put it out there. I guess, too, that I'm also used to being one of the "success stories" here, so I didn't know how to say that I wasn't being so successful anymore.....

Anyway, to all of you, lucky, Pansy, Lisa, Macks, Paul, Capto, Olly, Miss Melon, Kitkat, Accountable, Newgirl, Lori, Birdman, and etc., I send my love. Please send your good vibes my way as I get my head back together to try again to resume abs! I can only handle 150 mg of topa at this point without falling asleep without warning....:egad:

Thanks for listening.

Hugs and a sigh of relief at coming clean!
Kathy:l

[Mackeral]

Saturday January 10th

Kathy,

We are 100% behind you....Like you always are for us..

Very excellent to see you back

[lucky 2.0]

Saturday January 10th

Good vibes from the duck have been sent to Kathy!

[capto]

Saturday January 10th

Kathy,

That post took some gumption. You should be receiving a goodly dose of vibes shortly. I have a special set of directed vibes whch I call "whooshes," and one is headed your way.

I know what you mean about the topa--I think I shared that with you early on. Maybe a taper back would help you? I swear, in my own case, I think I felt so bad some days while on topa, that I drank to get away from the dopa. As many of you know, what worked for me, was to taper back and get on Campral, but with the conviction that I really wanted to stop drinking so I could start feeling better.

You know how and what you need to do. We've all seen that. You've been here for us, now we are here for you.

Best and with great admiration,

Capto

[Popeye]

Saturday January 10th

Hi Kathy,
No-one can be up-beat all thetime.....even you.
Good vibes humming there way from Scotland.......

[weemelonhead]

Saturday January 10th

ALWAYS admiring the Heart of Youth:h!!!!
As you say yourself Kathy, you are nowhere near the former level of drinking, and you are addressing this low period with your meds...it's a toughie isn't it? i am reducing my baclofen to start campral due to extreme lethargy and depressive periods, but it's a slow process as the levels have to go down ssslllloooowwwlllyyy, so i am starting to join you on that white knuckle ride, as the levels go down 'That' urge goes up, so my thoughts are definitely with you.......
Your honesty just makes me wanna hug you....bless macks for giving you the 'post push'. It probably does help, although it can be a bit of a bummer to report what you may feel as failure....Please know though, that nobody here who has read even one of your beautifully inspiring posts could EVER connect that word with the 'nattily hatted' one....
and ditto Cap.....you are ALWAYS here for us...we are most definitely here for you...with nobs on!!

Much love Young at heart.......and yup...more vibes....jet propelled, rocket fuelled and sealed with a kiss!!!

[KizzieCat]

Saturday January 10th

Hang in there Kathy! I too lost a little "a lot" of control during the month of December. I am back here at abs, since it is obvious that I cannot moderate. I have been very down in the dumps, and fear for my mental health. I think it is time to go to the Doc, and tell him I need Lexapro again. My anxiety has been building since late November. I think it is also time to finally come clean with my health care provider about my drinking habits. I will be thinking of you.

-Kim

[Accountable for Me]

Saturday January 10th

YoungAtHeart

Hi Kathy,

I posted earlier but the website had it's problems and the posts from the last backup have been lost. So, I am writing you this again...

Don't beat yourself up about your drinking. The holidays are tough! I too was consuming my 'usual' during the holidays, and am just 'lucky' I stopped again. Many have continued to drink after the holidays, and are starting the process all over again. Just try and try again!!

You should be proud of yourself for speaking out and for being aware of your fear of heading back to that place. That is a HUGE step! If you are aware of what you are doing, it will be easier to fix.

I am not on the supplements such as Topamax or Campral. If you find the Topa too strong maybe try the Campral?

Hang in there kiddo! You don't need to be upbeat all of the time. You have done your part in helping others, let us help you!!!

All the best. Sending you good vibes! XOXO:l :l

[kitkatsue]

Saturday January 10th

Hi Kathy,
Don't feel down, just put one foot in front of the otherand keep on going in the right direction !!!!!!

LOTS~n~LOTS of good vibes to you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kitkat

[Newyear]

Saturday January 10th

Kathy - lots and lots of good vibes being sent right now!! I have no doubt you will be
right back on track very soon.
Hope the dosage gets worked out too. Time to fire up that cappuccino machine!

:h Lisa