Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

[retteacher]

I hope all is well w/all AAers & friends out there. I'm fine & still feeling very grateful for my sobriety. There isn't anything I would want to do to jeopardize it.

I'm finding that in my weekend/core groups there are always a few "group dynamics." In other words, personal issues come up between members. I think that the only mature/12 step way to handle such issues is to respond directly to the person in question. The alcoholic way to handle issues is to go to 3rd parties & gossip/complain & expect something to change.

Conflict/confrontation is one of my biggest challenges. I drank to avoid it 9 times out of 10. So, the idea of speaking directly to a person fills me w/dread. I don't even like to do it w/my husband of 40 years.

So far, I haven't had anything come up w/my friends in program. I think this is because I:
-keep the small stuff cleared up.
-don't get too involved w/people that are constantly spoiling for a fight.

My computer is acting funny, so I'll end w/that.

Looking forward to a week of child care/meetings.

Mary

[ThreeDogNight]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

Good morning, Mary, and all to come!
I am doing an oline AA meeting right now--but it is easy to switch back and forth, as with all the greetings, thank yous, etc. being typed, it takes forever to get through ti! But I can usually come away with a thing or two that I need. A soldier in Afghanistan just shared, and topic is "celebrate."
Yesterday there was a little issue between two of the members on line. One seemed impaired. Often there are a few odd things, especially with people interrupting.
Did coffee and set up on Friday for my home group, and am doing it again today--think maybe my training is over, LOL! We don't have many people getting into their personal issues with another member, thank God. But we have one member whom everyone seems to have just had enough of, but I think that at least he keeps coming and isn't a bad person. And people I used to dread hearing I now like hearing. I've asked for help with these things, and feel that I've gotten it. Am much more patient and tolerant and try never to compare.
Today will be a Big Book meeting, and we are on the stories and I like this. Want to eventually be able to attend Big Book meetings, but think you need a certain amount of sober time, and I'd need to find a ride.
Well, happy sober week to all!

TDN

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

tdn: I attended BB meetings from the start of my membership in AA. I don't always share, but I think that understanding the BB is the core to recovery.

There is one guy whom I dread hearing when he raises his hand to speak. His thought processes aren't quite right...I think he might be mildly autistic. He goes off on wild tangents. However, he's there to teach me patience.

We have had people in meetings who are under the influence. In fact, in the beginning, I went to a few under the influence. But, unless they're disruptive, we let them stay.

I found I just couldn't get into the on-line AA meetings. Too much waiting for me. I do know people who really swear by them though.

M

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

Hi every1
Me 2 feeling very grateful Mary for my sobriety
TDN, I find BB study really help me a lot, I dont think it matters the length of your sobriety attending bb meeting. Just go for it and your be alright, its good when you listen to other people sharing there experiences and how they can relate to the bb stories everyone is different how they relate to the bb.
They say some where in the big book more will be reveal, and it is so true, not just thinks i am beginning to remember i did when i was drunk in blackout but also thinks i remember in my childhood that i block out.... My daughter will be attending the child psychtherapist at long last under the mental health team. This is one of my consequence i have to pay for through my actions through drinking. But today i feel am there for her and will support here in anyway i can.
There was a guy that did a chair last saturday about the emotional side of him growing up, there was so much i could relate to ! going to ask him to do a chair for me, so that i can listen to him again

Take care all and take it easy ! :l

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

catch: The best part of sobriety is being able to support our children fully. My daughter was diagnosed w/breast cancer in 2010, & thank God I was sober. She needed a lot of help which I would have been incapable of if I were drinking. Mary

[ThreeDogNight]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

Thanks so much, Catch-- a great post, and I needed to hear it! Had a hard time yesterday and felt like I might be falling into depression. It's hard to live 24/7 with someone when you can't drive and start to feel that he is maybe resenting AA. And when that person suffers from OCD and won't get help--well, think you understand. My world is so small now, and I know that is okay and is where God wants me to be, but gets hard sometime. Spent a lot of time here yesterday afternoon and evening, did an online meeting, and am going to my noon meeting soon. Am about to do a couple of readings, and am feeling much better now. A very quick thought of a drink crossed my mind yesterday, and I remembered--maybe read it here: " I won't drink because I promised my higher power that I would not." That erased the thought pretty quickly!!

Have a good sober day!

TDN (Pam)

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

Pam: I think you'll find that as you get to know people in the AA fellowship, you'll be able to pick up rides to meetings & won't have to have your partner bring you to every single meeting. Try to ask for help. People in program want to do service & bringing people to meeting is an excellent way to do it. Take care of yourself as best you can.

When I have those drinking thoughts, I try to remember back to what a disaster my life was. My last drunk was so ugly, that alone keeps me from drinking.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

I think so many of us used alcohol as a way to medicate "bad" feelings...anger, fear, depression. I think that's the reason we do a 4th step...in order to understand those feelings instead of hiding them behind a veil of alcohol. In sobriety I'm learning that feelings are feelings regardless of what kind they are. They won't kill us, & in fact, will teach us something if we just let ourselves feel/figure them out. That's my 2 cents. Hope it makes sense. Mary

[ThreeDogNight]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

Good morning!
Hope all is well with everyone. Miss DG, but know that she's busy studying. She will make a great counselor!
Last two days my meetings have been so good. Tuesday was a speaker discussion and I heard a woman whose story I'd not heard before. Yesterday was a step meeting, and we did step 2. I shared at both meetings. Today is topic meeting, so that should be interesting. A friend is picking me up (she plays tennis just down the street) and will drop me off an hour early, as I have coffee duty today. So I get to pick the chair.
The BB study I was told about by my therapist seems to be one where you do not speak, but listen. Sounds like the kind of study we had in rehab, and I loved it. Will look into it, but know it is not close to where I am.
Hope you have a good sober day!

Pam

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

tdn: If you go to one of those BB meetings you mentioned, you might just find someone in your area to go back & forth with. In my meetings, there are people whose licenses have been temporarily suspended, & other members take up the slack & bring them to meetings. That's what service is all about. You sound wonderful & seem to be getting so much out of meetings. Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

At last night's meeting, the reading was about the "insanity of that first drink." The stories of people who had a little sobriety, thought they were cured, & then went out & drank was a good lesson for me. It would be so easy to convince myself that "I don't have a problem." That's why meetings are so important. I get to talk about my miserable drinking experiences. I get to talk about years of trying to hide my drinking.

Tomorrow night I'm going on a "committment." A small group from a neighboring group comes to us & speaks. We then go to them the following week & speak. I didn't want to do it, because I wanted to watch something on TV. When I got home, I realized what a feeble excuse that was. Where was my gratitude? So this morning I called the chair of the committment & told him I'd be there.

M

[ThreeDogNight]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

Good afternoon, Mary and anyone else coming here today.
Sounds like a good meeting and good topic, Mary. Insanity led me to take that first drink, which led me down that path of no return. I think it is important to hear about people who think that they have enough sobriety that they can go and have some controlled drinking, only to find that it doesn't work. It just isn't possible. I need to be reminded of that over and over.
Our topic meeting on Thursday was "excesses." And we went around the room to share. Most people shared things like drugs and overeating, especially sweets. I have never experimented with drugs of any kind, and am not an overeater, but I do have an addiction to shopping and the Internet. I don't mean shopping for extravagant things, but things I don't necesssarily need, but want to buy--especially things that are on sale! But often I find things for other people and dogs (not so much now, as i don't have a job) and feel good that I am/was doing something nice for somebody other than myself. I love ebay and can find anything on that site! I have cut back, and I don't feel that this is as bad as substance abuse or gambling, for instance. But it is an addiction, I guess. And I can spend a lot of time on the Internet, but not on bad things. If i ever find another job, that will be cut way back!
One of our senior members got her 20 year medallion yesterday!!! I find that so inspiring.
Went to the gym this a.m. instead of a meeting, but made all five noon meetings. And am doing some online meetings and reading the grapevine online, as that is how i subscribe to it.
Hope you have a great sober day, all!

Pam

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 23 - Jan. 29

Anything we do over & over which is mood-altering is an addiction. Some have more dire consequences than others. For me, activity & busyness is an addiction. It's very hard for me to sit still. It's hard for me to have unstructured time. I don't want to be w/myself that much. M