Fed up with Hubby

[Changeling]

Here I am on day 12 AF
Feeling really good of myself and everyone else here doing so well.

My husband was playing golf today at 11.00a.m. came home at 7.00pm
Even being generous and allowing 5 hours for the game leaves 3 hours in the bar afterwards.
Needless to say he is absolutely P*****d.
7.45 now and he is asleep on the bed fully clothed.
This is really hard for me,
a. I am really dissapointed in him, he is a better person than this
b. I really want to be able to talk to him about this but don't know how to without nagging.
c. Makes me wonder what is the point of sitting here sober alone???

How does everyone else cope with these situations.
Any advice - PLEASE
Changeling

[Popeye]

Fed up with Hubby

Changeling,
I'm sorry you're having a bad day.
It's rough when you don't get the support that you're looking for. I hope you feel better soon
Love.

[southernbelle47]

Fed up with Hubby

Hi Change,

I understand how hard it is to not drink and then have your hubby asleep at 7:00 . It hurts and it gets lonely!
Is there something you enjoy doing when he goes to "play"? Maybe a movie or dinner with a girlfriend? Hey......by yourself even! You deserve some "time out" too!
Tell him you want to talk when he wakes up. Calmly share that you won't sit home and wait anymore. Then when he goes, go out and have some fun. You won't be nearly as upset as if you sit and wait!
Nancy:l

[pixie]

Fed up with Hubby

Changeling,

Just about the ONLY time my husband drinks irresponsibly is when he goes out with the guys - what starts out as one thing (golf, helping someone move, fishing, etc) ends up with drinking as the conclusion. It's really only an occasional thing, but I used to get very angry with him. But now I think: since I've only been "enlightened" (thanks to MWO) for a couple months now, I can't really expect him to be on the exact same timetable. And I still slip up, so he should be allowed to as well. We talk about it now when it happens (the next day that is), and instead of being angry I tell him I hope he can handle it better next time (he says he does want to change this). I think everyone's advice here to not beat yourself up has rubbed off on me, and not only am I not beating myself up (much), I'm more forgiving of his actions as well.

I'm not sure if that's at all helpful to your situation. But I do understand the frustration of trying so hard and then dealing with a drunk husband. My husband has been very supportive overall, but there's something about a bunch of guys getting together...

pixie