Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

[retteacher]

Last night I participated in the "committment" I spoke about last week. A neighboring group came in & spoke to our home group 2 weeks ago (a few speakers: 10 mins each), & we then return the committment & speak at their group. Last night was our turn.

It was a large group, & I knew many people there. What a wonderful feeling it is to go into a group & know so many people.

I spoke a short while, & it was pretty emotional as usual. It's so hard to recount those awful years leading up to my recovery. I know I must do it, because by NOT forgetting, I stay sober & don't relapse.

I read Cupcake Brown's book last week. It really was a remarkable story. I most enjoyed the story of her recovery which she attacked w/tenacity & determination.

Mary

[ThreeDogNight]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

The commitment sounds great, Mary. I will have to ask, but don't think my home group does them. The groups whose meetings I went to in FL did them. I think that would be very interesting.
BB meeting today--story Crossing The River of Denial. One that I can really relate to in many ways. We had a pretty large group today, and I did the coffee, etc. I didn't share because there were a lot of people who really wanted/needed to do so. One of the rather new guys will have 30 days on Friday and will get his chip. He sits next to me most of the time and we get to talk a bit before the meeting starts. He shared today, and it was good. Going to a women's meeting at 4:00. My husband will drive me and pick me up--it's less than ten minutes away. Have to skip the gym, but it is usually a good meeting, and a woman from another women's group I've been to is coming for the first time.
Am also reading A Piece of Cake, and am about 3/4 of the way through. Unbelievable story!
Thanks for starting this thread, and I hope a few more people join us here.

Pam

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

tdn: Me too. I so thank God for meetings, because I feel so connected to people. I think that since AA isn't for everyone, there are only so many of us that are able to relate to this thread. I enjoy reading your sharings though. They are from the heart. Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

Greetings all. Hey Mary I get to come to Framingham this week. Are you going to have good weather in MA for me?

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

Yes, cold but clear, Phil. Mary

[AMELIA]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

Good morning Mary, TDN & Phil,

Thank you for all of your posts.
I like the familiarity of faces at meetings too. Especially if I am sharing.
I shared yesterday on a reading from the Daily Reflections book. I was a little nervous actually because I found the reading quite complicated. Essentially it was about the Traditions and how they keep AA in Unity, Service and Recovery. The reading also referred to Ego Deflation and Surrendering Will.

It seemed harder to share on these subjects than it would have been had I been doing a normal AA share. But, I felt safe in the meeting (lots of familiar faces) and I did the best I could and stuck to the reading. These sorts of situations challenge me as I have to work on character defects such as Perfectionism and Control issues on a daily basis. I was worried that as I didn't feel totally comfortable with the reading and I my ability to do a 'good share' on it - hence felt a little out of my comfort zone.
It went ok and I received some really good feedback, so I am glad that I was asked to do it.

Public speaking (or just speaking in front of a group of people) was one of my biggest lifelong fears before I came into AA. My sponsor has said from the outset that I have to say yes to sharing (unless I have a prior commitment) and I am grateful of this now. I have managed to push through that huge fear over the last year and a half. Even though I felt uncomfortable about my share topic yesterday, I did it & felt relatively relaxed and clear headed while doing it.
That is amazing progress for me. One of the many gifts I have received from the Fellowship.

Wishing you all a relaxing day/night.
Amelia

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

Last night's speaker was a woman friend of mine. She spoke from the heart, & while her story wasn't exactly like mine, it was similar enough for me to nod my head throughout the talk.

I too worry about what others are thinking when I share & especially when I speak. Yes, it's about control & perfectionism. Also, it's about self-centered fear. I think the more I do it, the easier it will get. I try to let go of the outcome. We'll get many opportunities to speak & realize that whatever we say will resonate w/someone.

Public speaking is right up there on the list of fears for everyone. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to do it regularly. M

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

Hello friends.

I posted in "What We Believe" a letter some family members sent to me that was posted by their Pastor on Facebook. I posted it there because it does have religious references. But, it is definitely an AA-centric letter, although anyone struggling with becoming/early sobriety would benefit from it.

I am giving you the link here so that you can read it if you choose. I think anyone who belongs to AA will appreciate it. I know many of you stay mostly in Monthly Abs.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...ml#post1254434

I hope you enjoy it.

Love,
Cindi

[AMELIA]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

Thanks Mary for mentioning Self centered fear. I have been reading up and reflecting on that again.

Cindi - I loved reading the letter. I ran a warm bath and relaxed and read. The last two lines blew me away & bought tears to my eyes.

Thanks for sharing
x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

Thank you Cindi - That letter was exactly what I needed to see. Mary

[ThreeDogNight]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

The letter is amazing, Cindi. Would love to know the origin, not that it's important. Thank you.
Will check back in tomorrow. Have a great sober night, everybody!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

We switched our Fri. night meeting from a BB meeting to a step meeting. Last night was step 1. That is such a foundation step for me. If I can't do step 1, admit I'm powerless & my life is unmanageable, then I might as well find another way to get sober. As soon as I did that almost 3 years ago, it was like a big weight being taken off my shoulders. I knew that I didn't have to fight alcohol anymore. All I had to do is not drink. Before I took step 1, I was constantly conniving ways of drinking like a normal person. I tried all those ways listed in the BB. Nothing worked. It was only when I admitted that I could not drink safely that I was able to stop & stay stopped.

That doesn't mean I'm complacent. I know I have to take step 1 every single day. Two members spoke last night about relapsing (one had 10 years, the other had 17 years). We're never safe from this disease. Accumulated time in the program doesn't mean anything if we don't take an active role in the program, go to meetings & work the steps. It was very awesome hearing from those 2 guys. Once they picked up again, they were back to alcoholic drinking within a very short time.

M

[ThreeDogNight]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

Hi.
I love the step meetings, too, Mary. And step 1--the only one we have to do perfectly. For me, it was easy to admit it, harder to accept it, but it happened and made the next two steps seem natural, if that makes any sense.
Missed the Wednesday step meeting, as I was helping a friend at her flower shop. Will go back to the shop this Wednesday, and then probably a few days before Valentine's Day, and VD, the busiest day of the year after Mother's Day. Unfortunately, I have to go to court on the 13th, but will go in after that. I also had to miss yesterday's meeting, as I didn't have a ride home. I didn't see anybody to ask on Thursday. My husband had to take one of the dogs for chemo, so I stayed here and spent a lot of time on this forum and did an online meeting. Went to the gym this a.m. with my husband, and then to a local place for breakfast. Met two guys from AA on the way in, and they sat with us. I'll be back on Monday, and that is my set up/coffee day. May do the 3:00 online meeting today.
Had a rather unpleasant experience when we went to see my attorney on Wednesday a.m. Described it on the AF daily thread, so won't go into details. But I remained calm and never thought of drinking. Just asked God for help.
Going to read Grapevine online today, too, and hopefully finish Piece of Cake.
Hope you all have a great sober weekend--or what is left of it!!

TDN

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Jan 30 - Feb 5

I've been thinking about step 2 alot. What I was doing before sobriety was true insanity:
-drinking until I blacked out.
-drinking until I passed out.
-drinking until I threw up.
-driving while drunk.
-doing a lot of other things while drunk
-etc.

I promised myself over & over that I would stop TODAY, only to find myself guzzling a bottle of wine early in the day.

I don't overthink the higher power thing. I just know that before AA NOTHING worked. NOTHING. I kept going to meetings on the blind faith that I might find sobriety, & I managed to do so. So, my own HP won out over the lower power that was guiding my drinking. For that I'm grateful.