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Friday January 12th

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    #1

    Friday January 12th

    Hello again
    The boards are very quiet today. I hope everyone is OK.
    Day 16 for me. Things are fine with me just now. I can hear the little voice of Friday whispering in the back of my mind, but I've no intention of giving in. I don't want to spoi things. I am calm and relaxed these days. I don't want to go back to feeling anxious and guilty and not in control of myself. I have the weekend off. The old me would be down to the shop right now getting my bottle of vodka and my bottle of cola. I would then drink until it was finished, missing my dinner in the process. Then I'd get up on Saturday, stagger roung to the shop for my second helping as soon as my wife went to work. Again, no breakfast, lunch or dinner. Maybe, if I was still able, I'd nip back round to the shop before Susan got back from work and get another half bottle, put it in the empty bottle so that she'd think that I had only bought one. I'd never remember going to bed. I'd wake up on Sunday morning feeling vile. I'd remember that I hadn't eaten since Friday morning, But I would be unable to face food for at least another 8 hours. After going back to bed for a few hours, I'd surface with a semblance of functionality. and eat some soup or a sandwich, before retiring for the night.
    What a way to spend a weekend!
    Sorry if this is depressing, but I thought I'd write this down to remind myself what I'm doing.
    Thanks
    Tags: None
    #2
    Friday January 12th

    Wow, Paul -- you could have been describing one of my weekends. I was also a vodka drinker (in the end) and had many a wasted weekend... They are so much better when I eat, sleep, and have all that time to enjoy and do things! Fridays were a BIG TRIGGER for me for the first few weeks. I had to really work to keep myself diverted on Friday nights so that I wouldn't go buy a bottle, at least from about 5 to 8 PM.... if I made it through that time frame and then ate dinner I was safe, usually for the rest of the weekend.

    Hope everyone is well. Have a sober and safe weekend.

    Mike
    "Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance." -- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

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      #3
      Friday January 12th

      Paulb,
      Congratulations on day 16!! Isn't almost a relief to look back and see past behavior while alcohol consumed our lives. Like you I would be heading to the liquor store to stock-up on wine, hiding half from my husband and putting some in the "open". Day 5 for me!!! I am so ready to get this wicked monkey off my back.
      As soon as I make it to day 30, I am moving forward to posting on long term abs!!! Good day to everyone on abs.
      Abby

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        #4
        Friday January 12th

        Good morning Absville,

        You're right Paul....that is drepressing but it is helpful to see how far we've come....isn't it!Today is a brand new day, full of hope and promise. I'm going to join you in making some "new" memories!

        Hi Abby.............Good day five to you! Nice to have you here!


        We're spending this weekend at our condo in a college town and I'm so excited as there are so many choices of things to do that farm living doesn't offer. Movies, dining out ,educational opportunities and also social. There are PEOPLE here not just deer and cows!
        I feel like a kid in a candy shop!

        I hope you all have a good weekend. I would love to hear your plans on how to make it through without drinking.

        AF day 6 here.
        :l Nancy
        "Be still and know that I am God"

        Psalm 46:10

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          #5
          Friday January 12th

          Good morning to all Abs.
          Well I am starting day 12 and it really is getting a little easier. Way to go Paul and Abby, Southernbelle, Mikeup.. and all yet to follow. Belle, I would love to try your cows for a while. You must think I'm crazy, but I used to love to stick my hand into a cows mouth and just let her lick my hands raw, and I love nothing better than to smell the scent of a horses nose. Yep, I can see myself in rubber boots in the barn yard with all these critters. My dad always said I should marry a farmer. Well, it was't to be. Belle, go and enjoy the human animals and all they have to offer. I'm sure you'll be glad to get back home.
          All have a wonderful Friday, dry and lucid and all that good stuff.
          Lori
          *Definition of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result* Albert Einstein

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            #6
            Friday January 12th

            today is my day 1 all, I am nervous but excited. I am planning on jogging early tommorow morning so hopefully that will keep me from drinking this evening. I have taken my supplements for about a week now, I have not been AF yet but i can tell they are working with my body to tell me i dont want to drink. I am going to the doctor on monday for the topa, the reason i am quitting today is b/c i want to be as alert as possible when i speak to the doctor. I tend to be kind of emotional since i began this habit, and when I am not on it for whatever reason i go back to the old me who is quite stronger. I will be posting all day, and looking for inspiration throughout this evening, I am sure i will need it seeing how i have cracked every time i have said i wouldn't. I didn't think my boyfriend would call last night b/c he said he wouldn't he is out of town, and it drank, then he called a little after 8, i was drunk, i don't think he could tell, but yet again i was emotional b/c i had been drinking. Why the hell do we answer the phone when we have been drinking, I alsways tell myself not to, and then I do it. then I am very regretful the next morning. I am pretty sure i didn't say anything wrong to him, i think he had a couple drinks too, and was upset i was not there with him to enjoy going out and called even though he said he would not. He kept telling me how much he missed me and loved me and how going out with friends is just miserable if i am not there to have fun with him, that made me feel horrible, because there have been many times I have gotton out of going somewhere with them, or called it an early night so I could go home and drink. today will be tough i am sure. I don't have many physical cravings but the demons in my head go crazy trying to convince me to drink when I have decided to stop. Thanks for listening.
            It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
            James Gordon, M.D.

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              #7
              Friday January 12th

              Good morning Absville. Day 14 for me.... yipee! Tonight is one of my many triggers and it is payday for me too. (I have been looking after a little girl while I am on maternity leave). So, I have to keep reminding myself that being abs is a whole lot better than waking up in the morning being a little less broker and a lot more sicker.

              Everyone have a wonderful day! Congrats on all of your successes!

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                #8
                Friday January 12th

                Good Morning to all in Absville,
                After a few days, I know know what "Absville" means!
                It's so wonderful to be able to read and post on this forum. I am new and still learning...trying to figure out MY plan of action. I feel like this board will be a good tool for me. I look forward to learning from all of you. As of my first post, I only made 1 and 1/2 days AF, but it's a step forward and it's all about the steps we try to take. My heart goes out to every post I read in which I can say.."that's me!". My heart shares the joy for all of you who are "pinging" away on the AF days....I am happily envious for you!
                Brookhaven....aka...Atlanta Girl

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                  #9
                  Friday January 12th

                  Wow, already a lot of fine posts this morning.

                  Paul, thanks for recounting your "typical" Friday when drinking. It's downright sobering, really. For me, it would be buying a magnum of wine at a liquor store away from my home, then when that was gone, going to the store right by my home to get another. I could go through 3 in a weekend.

                  I know about those Friday "whispers" too. If people wonder why I am chosing to start abs on a Tuesday, it is because I don't get home until 8pm. There's only a couple of hours to "get through" before I can go to bed. It makes for a relatively easy Day 1. People who start abs on a weekend have my undying admiration! Starting on a Tuesday gives me several days to build up my motivation before the weekend hits, and I have a much better chance of not "caving in" when those weekend whispers begin.

                  I also woke up in the middle of the night last night and realized that I was putting WAYYY to much pressure on myself, because I was thinking in terms of forever, instead of one day/week at a time. No wonder I'm feeling scared! So I'm gave myself an attitude adjustment and just thought about getting through a day, a week and a month, and I immediately felt better and went back to sleep.

                  Everyone is doing so well! Hope you have a great weekend in town, Nancy. Maybe Lori and I can come "farm sit" sometime and play with all your animals while you and hubby are away!

                  Newgrl, rock on for day 1. You sound like you have a nice boyfriend. Maybe you could get on chat tonight and see if that helps with your resolve to stay af.

                  Hugs to you all!
                  Kathy:l

                  I hope Macks comes on and posts.
                  AF as of August 5th, 2012

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                    #10
                    Friday January 12th

                    I am glad Paul is keeping track of his # of abs days because I think we started the same day. Still going strong here. With each day, I want to keep going and not have to start over @ Day 1 again. Day 1 is so hard. I really did not think I would get into the counting of days but I did. Something is definately happening to my brain. I NEVER would have thought this a year ago.

                    Abby, it is great to see you doing so well. I am looking forward to graduating to Long Term Abs too.

                    My best to all-
                    lucky

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                      #11
                      Friday January 12th

                      I plan on getting on the chat tonight, and I plan on telling my doctor on monday, and really explain what i am going through to the BF when he comes home in two weeks, I figure if I could muster at least the majority of those tow weeks sober then i would be clear headed for him when he returns and maybe even look a little better, the times in the past where i couldnt drink for a week or two i always lost wieght and got this healthy glow, that is what i am looking foward to.
                      It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
                      James Gordon, M.D.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Friday January 12th

                        yeah, Macks, I hope you are ok.

                        I haven't had an AF day since sunday. Kinda a rut here. Hubby is home though, so that helps. I have a "babysitter". for me. Geesh.
                        Tempted to drink today because I feel crappy from too much red wine last night. I drank wine and watched "When A Man Loves A Woman" with my husband. Cried a lot. Kept drinking.... go figure. He bought the movie because there are so many parallels to our life.
                        OK, I'm gonna take lots of supps and try to be AF today. Or at least not freakin drunk. man. I had had 2 stints of 10 AF days in a row just a few wks ago. arrrghhh.
                        Sorry for the bummer post.

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                          #13
                          Friday January 12th

                          hey Becca, wanna be AF day 1 partners?
                          It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
                          James Gordon, M.D.

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                            #14
                            Friday January 12th

                            PS: you are not a bummer becca
                            It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
                            James Gordon, M.D.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Friday January 12th

                              Nice job, Lucky Ducky! Proud of you.

                              I'll commit to "not drunk" day 1, newgrl. I want to run tomorrow morning and can't run with a hangover. Told hubby about the new orleans thing! We go to the Cayman Islands the following wk after that race, so if I commit to a 1/2 marathon, I can lose these pesky 7 or 8 pounds and not feel like a blob in my bathing suit! Sounds good.
                              THANK YOU! Glad you are here. You are motivating me.

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