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Friday January 12th

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    #16
    Friday January 12th

    Hiya All,

    I've had a bit of a rough day today...It was a big mistake to drink while taking the anti depressants..I drank 6 cans of Scrumpy Jack cider last night which usually isnt enough to get me too drunk..But i was staggering about last night like an idiot..It was as though i'd drank a bottle of rum or something..And i said things to lisa last night that i dont mean..I really upset her....Why would i do that to a woman who does nothing but love and support me...I wasnt me last night i turned into somebody else..

    I know what the trigger was..I went to pick up my eldest from a Hocky match..and she wasnt there..i spent the next 45 mins with my heart in my mouth driving round looking for her...It was dark and shes only 12...I had never been so scared...In the end it turned out that the bus came back 45 mins late...but i didnt know that..after that i was a shaking nervous wreck..

    Also i had some more bad news today...My mum rang me this morning to tell my grandma has cancer of the pancreas..she has been given between 3 and 9 months to live..She's my dads mum...shes so lively and still has all her wits about her...The last time i was in Manchester i caught her running to bingo..shes 78....She also fought of a mugger last year..he didnt get anything....Shes a strong irish lady with hands like shovels..I dont know what this is doing to my dad..hes a gentle giant of a man...i've never seen him cry...but my mum said thats what hes been doing all day..

    My heads in bits today...I wasnt gonna post until i got 2 lovely pms from Kathy and Weemelonhead...In the last 24 hrs the world has just been tipped upside down...All i want to do is go out and get another drink...but i cant do that to Lisa again..And i know it dosnt solve anything

    Its just been one of those days..
    I don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
    One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009

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      #17
      Friday January 12th

      Becca,
      Are you going to run in the Mardi Grais Marathon?

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        #18
        Friday January 12th

        awesome Becca, I can agree to that "not drunk day" i can't run after a night of heavy drinking either.
        It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
        James Gordon, M.D.

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          #19
          Friday January 12th

          so does that mean you are definitely running the 1/2 marathon with us.
          It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
          James Gordon, M.D.

          Comment

            #20
            Friday January 12th

            Dear Macks....thank you for posting!
            I am thinking of you and Lisa BIG time today, and also your poor father. This is terrible news for you all to even begin to take in. You have soooo much to deal with right now, and I can understand why you feel like 'blotting it all out' if only for a few hours...your head needs some peace...BUT as you so rightly say, alcohol will not solve the problems, as we all know, it only ever exacerbates them....Macks, I really hope that you can dig out a strength reserve from somewhere to see you through this sober, and I'm sure that dear Lisa will be right there with you...I accidentally clicked your name when looking at your pm, and up popped a picture of the Mackses on a very happy looking 'day out'...you look like a fantastic couple, and both deserve far nicer things than life is throwing you at the moment....We are all here Macks and Lisa, now, and for as long as you both need.....:h

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              #21
              Friday January 12th

              Macks (and Lisa), I am sorry, sorry, sorry. You had a lot of emotions to deal with yesterday. Your grandma and your whole family will be in my prayers. She sounds like a wonderful, strong lady.
              I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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                #22
                Friday January 12th

                you are in my prayers as well Macks.
                It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
                James Gordon, M.D.

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                  #23
                  Friday January 12th

                  My Darling Boy, What you and Lisa must be going through...Weemelly is right about the alcohol though Macks....You have the support of a very beautiful and courageous woman, you also know you have the unending support of all of us here, so you don't need that poison in your body now do you???? Keep us posted Macks, God Bless,

                  Love from Louise xxxx
                  A F F L..
                  Alcohol Free For Life

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                    #24
                    Friday January 12th

                    Macks, I sent you another PM, but it disappeared into cyberspace, and now I have to leave for work! Bah! My thoughts and prayers are with you and Lisa and your family. Hang in there.

                    XOXOX,
                    Kathy
                    AF as of August 5th, 2012

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                      #25
                      Friday January 12th

                      BIG HUGGS TO MACKS AND LISA!!!
                      I had the same reaction last Saturday when my doggies got lost as you did with your daughter was missing. Hummmmmm. Panic! I've GOT to learn to handle it better.
                      I lost my grandma when I was 24....many, many years ago....She has lived forever in my heart and I've passed down her love and traits to my children and grandchildren. Lisa and Macks..you will be able to do the same.....please , please love yourselves and each other enough to be healthy and do this. My thoughts and prayer are with you.
                      Macks.........drinking and anti-depressants don't mix....but I guess you already know that! Alcohol IS a DEPRESSANT! There is a war going on in our body when we mix these!
                      Please take care.
                      :h Nancy
                      "Be still and know that I am God"

                      Psalm 46:10

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                        #26
                        Friday January 12th

                        Aw Macks im so sorry to hear your news...all my thoughts are with you and Lisa. But your riight...drinking wont make the problem go away, only make it worse in the long run.
                        I dont blame you for slipping last night, i would have done the same, just wipe the slate clean and start over....running partners remember...so if one of us slips we pick each other up.
                        Keep your chin up mister

                        Love and prayers to you both

                        Lou-Lou x x x x
                        "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around"...Penelope Cruz...Vanilla Sky

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                          #27
                          Friday January 12th

                          I love Macks avatar, makes me smile.
                          It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
                          James Gordon, M.D.

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                            #28
                            Friday January 12th

                            :upset: I really don't know what to say to all you wonderful people, None of you are quitters, you just keep putting your cowgirl/boy boots back on and climb back on that horse (as said originally to Macks by weemelon). I love you all so much you're fantastic support and personal messages to incourage each other..always believe in yourselves and take each day as it comes...As for you Mackers you are everything to me and the kids, I've said it to you before and i'll say it again..we'll work through this together your never on your own, i'm here for you weather you like it or not..i've always tried my best to understand...i don't stay with you because i have to, its because i want to. I love you, you silly shite:h
                            As for everyone else thank you from the bottom of my heart:h
                            Lots of Love and Hugs
                            :l Lisa xxxxxx
                            Elvis is'nt dead, he's in my broom cupboard ....

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                              #29
                              Friday January 12th

                              Lisa, you crack me up!......you have the gift of the gab and NO mistake, who said romance was dead!!!...
                              and WE love YOU 2 too ......you silly shites!!!!!:h:H

                              Much love to you both...you obviously have such a strong relationship...joking aside, I had a misty eye Lisa my dear, Macks IS lucky to have you xoxo

                              xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

                              Comment

                                #30
                                Friday January 12th

                                Hi Macks and Lisa.
                                I'm so sorry to hear your news. I'm thinking of you and your family. It's hard!!!!!

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