Hiya All,
I've had a bit of a rough day today...It was a big mistake to drink while taking the anti depressants..I drank 6 cans of Scrumpy Jack cider last night which usually isnt enough to get me too drunk..But i was staggering about last night like an idiot..It was as though i'd drank a bottle of rum or something..And i said things to lisa last night that i dont mean..I really upset her....Why would i do that to a woman who does nothing but love and support me...I wasnt me last night i turned into somebody else..
I know what the trigger was..I went to pick up my eldest from a Hocky match..and she wasnt there..i spent the next 45 mins with my heart in my mouth driving round looking for her...It was dark and shes only 12...I had never been so scared...In the end it turned out that the bus came back 45 mins late...but i didnt know that..after that i was a shaking nervous wreck..
Also i had some more bad news today...My mum rang me this morning to tell my grandma has cancer of the pancreas..she has been given between 3 and 9 months to live..She's my dads mum...shes so lively and still has all her wits about her...The last time i was in Manchester i caught her running to bingo..shes 78....She also fought of a mugger last year..he didnt get anything....Shes a strong irish lady with hands like shovels..I dont know what this is doing to my dad..hes a gentle giant of a man...i've never seen him cry...but my mum said thats what hes been doing all day..
My heads in bits today...I wasnt gonna post until i got 2 lovely pms from Kathy and Weemelonhead...In the last 24 hrs the world has just been tipped upside down...All i want to do is go out and get another drink...but i cant do that to Lisa again..And i know it dosnt solve anything
Its just been one of those days..
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