Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 7 - Feb. 12

[retteacher]

Hi AAers et. al.:

I hope all is well. I was down w/a wicked cold for a couple of days, so missed starting the weekly thread. I just got back from a meeting, & as always even when the story is different than my own, I can get something to bring home. This time it was service. The speaker had an old-fashioned sponsor that really stressed service. It's so easy to sit back & let others do service. However, I'm finding that service to the program benefits me first & foremost. It keeps me connected w/the fellowship in a way that just going to meetings doesn't.

It's late & I'm going to sign out for tonight.

Mary

[AMELIA]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 7 - Feb. 12

Hi Mary,
Thanks for getting us started off.

Service is very important to me too. I felt rather 'peripheral' in AA before I took on my service posts.
I have a secreterial post and had up until recentlly a tea making post.

Both helped me in different ways. The tea post I took on at 3 months at a ladies meeting. That meeting became my home group - as I was always there.
I was asked to take on the secretarial post at 9months. That is when I truely begun to feel connected to AA. It was a challenge (having to speak in front of the meeting), but I have grown so much as a result.
I have met hundreds of new people, helped with organising & putting on our local convention and made sure that we have a different 'sharer or speaker' every week.
It was a post that I was very fearful of, yet I have come to enjoy it immensely.
I like the fact that I am giving back, although I agree service definately benefits me too.

I have enjoyed experiencing the conscience meetings and seeing how AA maintains it's Unity (Service and Recovery). I had to do a talk on the traditions recently & my service posts (and the conscience meetings) helped with that.

I have my ladies meeting tonight. When I volunteered to take on the tea post I was told that it was a year long post. I can remember walking home filled with fear that I had actually committed to something for a whole YEAR! Yet now I go to that meeting regardless - it has become a way of life & I would feel strange if I missed it!!

I am very grateful to be sober today.
Wishing you all a happy week.

Amelia

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 7 - Feb. 12

amelia: What a lovely post! AA has brought you (& me) so far. I was so filled w/fear while drinking. I drank to allay the fear, but it only made it worse & actually brought out new ones. Freedom from fear means working through the fear in the way you described in your post. By doing something (i.e. speaking in front of a group) that we feared & getting through it successfully is, in my mind, the only way to overcome fear. Masking it w/alcohol doesn't do anything but make it worse.

If you're just reading at this thread & want to ask a question or make a comment, please do not hesitate. That's why we're here. We're not prostelitizing for AA. We're here for info & support.

Mary

[ThreeDogNight]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 7 - Feb. 12

Hi, Mary and Amelia.
Great posts--thank you! I agree that service work is so important. Right now I am just making coffee and setting up one day a week, and filling in for others if needed, but hope to be able to do more as time goes on.
I can't imagine not having AA in my life.
At our women's meeting on Monday, I asked a woman I like listening to to be my sponsor, and she agreed. She also does a lot of chairing for online meetings, and so I now know her screen name and she knows mine, and we can look for each other there. She's been through a lot recently, but has been sober for five years and works hard at staying AF.
Will probably miss meetings tomorrow and Friday, as I am helping a friend at her flower shop for Valentine's Day, so expect to be busy. But I will come here and do the online meetings.
TDN

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 7 - Feb. 12

tdn: It's great that you got a sponsor! That's a very big accomplishment. I have a sponsor that I'm very grateful for. She's got lots of sobriety & puts a tremendous amount of effort into AA...even though she's been sober for over 2 decades.

I'm convinced that the more we get involved in the program & the people in it, the less likely we are to drink. Last night we went to a play w/another couple we met in AA. It was fun & builds the relationship we have w/each other.

Yesterday's daily reading (Daily Reflections, I think) was about emotional sobriety. Once the drinking stops & our heads/bodies clear, we can begin using the program on our daily lives.

Mary

[AMELIA]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 7 - Feb. 12

Hi Mary, TDN and everyone else!

TDN, great to read that you have a sponsor! I have found my sponsor to be such a healthly support and guide over the last year & a half. She has good sobriety & sponsors quite a few ladies.
Sounds like you are doing good service already. Tea/Coffee posts are fab for meeting & chatting with new people (and all service posts anchor you into that particular meeting - which is good).

I feel like I am having more 'growing pains' than normal at the moment. It's round my relationship & dealing with my character defects.
I have been with my partner for 12 years. 10 1/2 of those I was drinking a lot. I kept it as secret as is possible. We still have a lot of issues and I am finding myself getting impatient & wanting everything to be ok & alright. I have to accept that I caused a lot of damage within our relationship & that I wasn't 'present' to have an adult relationship with for most of that time. We both need to learn new & healthier ways to deal with each other. Seems like it's going to be a lot of work to be honest.
I keep finding myself saying maybe I should just end it - but that is the easy, quick solution - the quick fix that I am so used to.
Also I am well aware that my partner is the first person on my amends list. I haven't sat down with him and apologised yet for the years I drank and the problems that caused within our relationship. I am trying to be the best partner I can be on a daily basis as part of an ongoing amends to him. I am trying to move out of old patterns & communicate more etc....but it is hard work.

Anyhow, that's just where I am at the moment. Will talk to my sponsor about it & maybe do some Step 4 work on it or something (and remind myself that impatience is one of my character defects!).

Have a good weekend everyone.
Amelia

[ThreeDogNight]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 7 - Feb. 12

Good morning!
Amelia, that is a wonderful post! Full of honesty, which we all know is imperative to our sobriety.
I can realy relate to the relationship thing. I've been married for --well, it will be 23 years in a couple of weeks. Got married when I was 36. My husband is a very light drinker, and he says that he knew I was a drinker even before he married me. I was a drinker, but not a drunk, as that developed over the years. Anyway, I realize that I have hurt him and was very dishonest with him. I told him many times while in rehab--and it was easier over the phone--that I was sorry for everything. Now the best thing I can do is stay sober. But he has issues, mostly centered around OCD and the fact that he retired too early, and I wish he'd get help. I still feel that resentment some days, but no longer blame him or anybody or anything else for my alcoholism. But as a sober friend of mine pointed out, living with him gave me an excuse to drink and feel sorry for myself. I need to remember that. And he is still with me after these last nine months, and I have to depend on him to take me to meetings and anyplace else I need to go. I used to think I'd be better off divorced, but as you said, that would be the easy way out. And I'd have to move to a place where I could walk everywhere. So I just need to focus on my sobriety and let everything else fall into place.
Didn't get to meeting yesterday and won't get there today, either because of helping at the flower shop. I did an online meeting last night and will do some reading today and maybe catch the online tonight. And coming here is a great help to me.
Well, I wish everyone a great sober day!
Pam

[AMELIA]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 7 - Feb. 12

TDN, Thanks for your post. 23 years - wow! That's a long time to be married.
I agree, I just need to focus on my sobriety & let everything fall into place.
I had a brief conversation with my sponsor and she said it's normal to feel unease within relationships at my stage of recovery. No need to make any big decisions - no hurry either.
I can tell something is 'up'. I just want to drink excess caffiene & eat excess sugar - another way that I try to change my feelings. (or avoid feeling unease)

I'm going to get busy with some work now & take my mind off the big things....
Have a great day x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 7 - Feb. 12

Hi everyone! Wow what great posts this week. I was just talking with a fellow AAer in class last night about service work. We were laughing as he described how his sponsor "introduced" him to service work and how resistant he was. And how grateful he is now that he "gets it." And how he passes this on to his sponsees. I always find it humerous to listen to the men talk about this. They seem to have a more direct way of going about it than the women. I am not committed to any specific meeting service work right now due to school. The down side of that is it makes it easy to skip meeting after meeting. I might commit to something when I get back from vacation. Meetings really help me stay centered and at peace. I love them. It's only laziness, and subsequent excuse making that causes me to skip.

Amelia and TDN - WOW I can relate to your posts about relationships! I too am impatient and want everything resolved RIGHT NOW. One way or the other. I am really grateful that Mr. Doggy and I have hung in there with each other through recovery. We are both learning SO MUCH about how to deal with each other more effectively. The principles and steps of AA are really helping with that. (LOL - me directly, and him indirectly!) It takes time though. My 4 year anni is coming up in May and we are STILL working on improviing a lot of our communication issues. I think we will be working on it for a long time. But it DOES get a little better all the time, and I'm glad nothing hasty happened along the way for us. Hope it works out tha way for you guys too.

We are staying at the hotel right on the O'Hare property tonight and then leaving for Miami on a 5:30AM flight tomorrow. I hope we don't oversleep! 2 hours before the flight means 3:30AM. :egad: I think I will be crawling though the terminal in my sweat suit and baseball cap. I am really excited to spend the week at a fabulous resort with other people in the fellowship. After going to the International conference, and then a couple other AA events, I've discovered I like traveling with AA people! Lots of "joyous happy and free" going on while vacationing with this crowd. I am also grateful I will be surrounded by sobriety and recovery my first time sober at a club med. I used to just stay drunk the whole time in years past. I'm sure my subconscious mind hasn't forgotten that.

Have a great day and a great week everyone!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 7 - Feb. 12

have a great time dg!