One of the daily meditations I read this week was about working through difficulties, & how they can make us stronger. This is exactly why drinking was so damaging to my emotional growth. I drank to avoid dealing w/difficulties thus depriving myself of an opportunity to learn & grow. Now, I'm in the process of learning to deal w/life on life's terms. This is sobriety's biggest challenge for me, because I drank to avoid the uncertainties of life.
We've been extending ourselves to people more & more lately. I'm a natural isolator & introvert & calling & meeting up w/people goes against my natural inclination. However, in doing so, I feel a great sense of accomplishment. I wouldn't be able to either deal w/problems effectively or put myself out to new people (in or out of AA) unless I was sober.
I really don't struggle w/the question of whether I'm an alcoholic or not. I've taken the first step & admitted it, & now I can stay sober one day at a time. Without sobriety, my life would be very different. I must remind myself of that on a daily basis. I'm no longer dealing w/shame & remorse. I'm no longer dealing w/the obsession. I'm no longer dealing w/the physical agony.
Mary
Comment