I'm back again and I'd like to offer my experiences of the last few weeks in hopes it will help others. After I joined MWO, I did all the supps, was taking the Campral and started trying to moderate. That didn't work so
I did two weeks AF; and then started to moderate again.
That moderation lead to a nasty four day binge right around my b-day last weekend. I passed out outside my hotel room and barely remember the surprise party my wife threw me. I ended up missing most of work on Monday (party was on Sat. night but I still drank through Sunday). I had bad anxiety and panic attacks for 24 straight hours.
I finally confessed my problem to my parents and my therapist, and my wife. I'm scared as hell and mad as hell that I'll never be able to drink again. Never have a nice buzz; never enjoy a champagne toast. But this is my reality and I'm going to start looking into alternatives to drinking; positive alternatives.
So I'm back. I'll try to be online more often as I know this group of people can help. I also know this will get easier as time goes on and you truly have to take it one day at a time. I always believed that I would find someone beautiful and smart like my wife, and I truly believe I can find relief from this illness. I can't wait until I get to the day --- perhaps a year or two from now --- where I am not tempted and it's simply not a part of my life.
Good luck to all,
Andy
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