AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

[sugarbeat]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

ok I'm going to rrationally vent, and yes I know this will pass, I'm just full of anger and pain. Anger that I am an alcoholic, angry that I'm angry, angry that no-one only myself can help myself, angry at myself.
Mad that I know I am capable of so much and feel trapped. Angry that I achieved so much and lost it.
Full of projections of what other people think of me when I actually think those negetive things about myself.

Frustrated that I just never got that knack of loving myself like most people love themselves, have a bit of compassion for themselves and just don't know where to start to learn to genuinely ove myself and love my life, and be happy. We are all respnsible for our own lives and look what I've done with mine, how many chances does one person get before they lose trust in themselves

ahhh it's out of me and not sure it will make any sense to anyone, I'm sad

[Turnagain]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

greetings from Grenada..FABbers!

The NO Booze Cruise is going great...altho I gotta say there's more liquid sunshine than I expected in the tropics.

It's great to see so many new folks here....this is a great thread. Lotsa good support for leaving the poisoned life behind.

Sugar...just a quick comment before I get on the boat....because you feel so sad. I once felt that way too. But, honestly, hanging around here and being AF has helped my thinking and FEELING a 180.

I had to start small....thinking ONE positive thing at a time. The attitude of gratitude has been a great healing help!

see ya'll possibly tomorrow when we have more dockside time.

as they say in the islands....yah mon...don't woorrrrryyy....be.....?

lol

[choice]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Hi Everyone! Just wanted to say hello and hope everyone is doing well.
I'm sorry your sad sugarbeat :l your doing a good job. you are making since. I have that same problem of not loving myself enough. Once a co-worker said to me.. "you gotta take care of yourself because no one else will" I didn't even like her because I resented her for always moving up while I stayed at an entry level. I felt that I was smarter then her and it wasn't fair. I'm not sure why her words echo in my ear sometimes. But I'm thinking it's because it was good advice and I should take it.

[Almostfamous]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Hi all you hot tamales! I so love reading all of your posts. You make me laugh, feel inspired, tear up and keep my eyes busy reading so I don't chugalug. I've been enjoying having my boss gone and getting a bit of sober free time to actually run errands while my daughter is in school.
I wish you all (y'all?) a great day!

Oh and to Blonde- way to go on losing 8 pounds. I think I found it!!!! :H

[mylife]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Hello Abbers.

Now that I am over 2 weeks AF I have decided to come over to the monthly abs threads as I fully intend to start racking up the AF months! I'm in absorption mode looking for all the clues I can get to maintain long term sobriety.

Sugarbeat - this is a hard thing we're doing. I have felt so many conflicting emotions over the past year - denial, anger, acceptance and just plain unhappiness. I just know that Alcohol contributes more to the bad feelings so I'm determined to get it out of my life once and for all now.

Blonde- 8 lbs - seriously??!!! I am jealous! I just finally started to curb my eating enthusiasm today - one monster at a time!

Have a wonderful AF day all!

[SAUSAGE]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Evening all - day 6 completed
This is the longest I've been AF since 2009. I know I wouldn't have got even this far without the support of everyone here and the accountability of this site.
Enjoy the rest of the day AF and I'll "see" you all tomorrow

Sausage x
Day 6 ******

[sunshine_gg]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Top o' the late afternoon to ya, Fabbernoodles!

Sn**ing and blowing here. Who authorized this.. speak up now! :bat:

I think I might start taking my Antabuse again for a little while. Last couple of days I've had some disturbing thoughts. Especially, as we're getting closer to gardening, BBQ season, etc. Things still associated with 'a drink' (read bottle or three). Not going there.

Other than that... the sniffles are back, but at least the sleep fairy was present last night (thanks to TWO sleeping pills). Haven't got much more to say for myself today.

Turnip.. happy cruising!! Make sure your captain stays away from rocky shores
Congrats LibraryGirl and Mylife! Whoot!
Sugarbeat... I've had those same feelings early in sobriety (as in the first time around). They WILL PASS! Hang in there, kiddo and vent away.

Waiting for the smoke alarm aka oven timer.. perhaps I should have a peek One thing is for sure... there will be no alcohol in my life today!

[papmom3]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Welcome back My Life!! Please stick with us this time!

For everyone feeling sad, deprived, unsure if you can really live the AF life, I have a few suggestions that helped me:
1. get your hands on every book you can that has to do with others beating the beast and staying clean and sober. There are great ones out there and most of the titles can be found at your local library or on the digital catalog (through your library-can be downloaded as Ebooks and some as audiobooks). I think there is a section of MWO community called "What we're Reading". One of my favs is "Lit" by Mary Karr.
2. Before I went to sleep every nite for a year, I said the serenity prayer followed by everything I was grateful for that day. Some nites I had to dig deep but I didn't go to sleep without being grateful for something.
3. Keep that hangover feeling right in front of your brain. Don't let it go. Relive it every single time you are tempted to pick up a drink (or 10 because it's never just one, now is it??? You wouldn't be here if you were a "normie". Moderation is a lie and you know it). If you went through withdrawal, keep that in front. So much fun.

That's good enough for now.

RIP Davy Jones. I'm a believer.

[choice]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Way to go SAUSAGE on day 6! I agree sticking close to here sure helps. Way to go Mylife too two weeks is fantastic!! I can't seam to get to my chores today so keep surfing the net. Seams like today is a positive one for me. I love it when I'm in this kind of mood. Alright.. off to surf some more.. :H

[sugarbeat]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Day 8 over, thanking you sincerely for being an outlet for my venting today

I'm heading off to bed now, confused, lots of who am I? What's it all about? questions floating round uch:

It's a journey I know but god its gona be so interesting someday to look back on this and see where I came from to where I go, but I'm worth it and because of that I'm ok with going through days like this, I truthfully don't want the mind numbing alternative

on that note I bid you all a very good night

[BlondeAFAmbition]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Hi All!

TURN!!! Island Vibes are seeping from your post...I am JEALOUS!!! Take a dip in those turquoise waters for ME, OK? Yep, that liquid sunshine is da da da dangerous...but you are strong and can sail sober, no worries mon!. An inspiration for me when I go on that Bermuda cruise in June. Can't wait to hear more about your ports...do post when you can!!!

Sugarbeat, you need a group hug. :l Com'on everybody, let's gather together and hug this girl till she cries tears of happiness and joy! Sending a virtual hug to you honey. Sorry you are feeling blue. This is natural when you are going through the early stages of recovery. And that is precisely what you are doing. You are recovering yourself. Your physical self and your mental self. You are on the right path. I have felt the same as you before. Like I reallly ruined it for myself, my whole life. But, believe it or not, I am a very positive person, even more so with AL kicked the hell out of my life. I want you to start out small. Make a list of all the things in your life that you are grateful for, even for your eyes for the ability to read this. Soon, you will find that your list is quite long if you include everything like the earth, moon, sun, stars, water and m & m's. Add to your list everyday and when you see something around you that you are grateful for, say it in your mind and really MEAN it. By doing this, your world will change and respond to the positiveness that you are putting out into the universe. Your positive energy will attract more positive energy. I suggest reading a beautifully written book or watch the movie, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne. A life changer for me and it reallly helped me to change my thinking from negative to positive! If you can see the movie, I would start there so you get the message immediately. Know that we all care about you and want you to succeed. Thanks for sharing how you feel so we can help you to feel...better.

Sausage, you are almost at a week...:goodjob: We are going to have to celebrate here tomorrow. What's your favorite gluten free cake flavor???

Yeah, Sunny, I'd like to know who authorized all this snow???!!! Good excuse to make hubs a batch of PB cookies for when he comes home tonight. All I got was a whiff...need to figure out how to make low carb PB cookies. I guess splenda and peanut butter and eggs... I'm partly joking here yet partly not as I am now craving PB cookies which are sitting on the kitchen counter!

Had a great workout today while watching the snow fall outside of the big gym windows. Tried to close my eyes when I was on the eliptical machine and envisioned me running on the pink sand beach in Bermuda for my upcoming trip (100 days away...) but then opened my eyes to the cruel reality of New England winter...sigh. But, tomorrow is March and daylight savings is March 11th so we are almost there!

MyLife, welcome to the abbers section...I love it here. Love the Nest too but I, like you, felt that I have been sober long enough to join the ranks of these fine folks (was sober for over 100 days last year, does that count?) and here I am. This is a loving and entertaining AND supportive group and I am so happy to see some new faces!

Ok guys, I'm going to attempt to watch a movie that a friend from my book club lent me...it's on the law of attraction and it's called: Esther & Jerry Hicks: The Law of Attractoin in Action: Telling a New Story! I'll let you now how it is in the morning.

Got my perculator all set up with my grinds for the morning cup (or 3) of coffee, although I know Shue will beat me to it...

Night all and I hope the sleep fairy is FAIR to all...

[BlondeAFAmbition]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

PS, Library Girl, let's not forget to mention WELL DONE on your 7 days. Ok, that means 2 cakes tomorrow, one GF for Saus and what is your cup of tea my dear?

[Kaslo]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Hey Abbers, Hi Turn, hope you are loving your holiday. Too sick to say too much. I wasnt any better through last night and even worse this morning so went to the clinic, FOUR hours later I am back in bed and Mr Kaslo has been sent to get the antibiotics antiinflams sinus spray and gatorade. I have a very bad case of sinusitis and acute bronchitis. No pneumonia though.

I used to get this sort of thing more than a couple times a year, so I guess Im lucky. in the sense that i havent been sick for two years.

Kaz

[papmom3]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Sending healing vibes towards the frozen north to our dear Kas! Take your meds, listen to the doc and get better fast!! Wishing you warm comfy pjs, super warm comforters to pile on ya, yummy tea to augment the gatorade, some good books and of course us!!

:h :l

[LVT25]

AF daily - Wednesday, February 29

Hello friends,

I am crazy excited about all of the new avatars on the daily thread! I want to say kudos to all of you starting out in sobriety. You are doing great! Don't feel a bit bad about venting here. None of this is easy, especially in the beginning! It is easy to give in and get discouraged, but one thing I always tell people I've realized. I had so many regrets during my drinking years, but I have had ZERO regrets about quitting!!

I don't recall if anyone has mentioned reading "My Way Out". It really is a program. It includes diet, exercise, supplements, hypno cd's, medication in some cases, and this forum. I highly recommend it. I think the supplements are important to help our body heal. And the hypno cd's really helped me I swear--they made everything easier. Never in a hundred years did I think I would ever be able to stop drinking.

Anyway, I find myself pretty absorbed in my teenage son's burning desire for independence and trying to keep peace in the family. ARGGGHH!!! I am super busy with a bookkeeping job and filling in at the vet clinic again tomorrow.

Kaslo, I'm glad you went to the doc and I hope the meds don't affect your poetic talent. That last one cracked me up. I hope everyone feeling under the weather gets better soon. On the bright side, tomorrow is March 1 and spring is just around the corner!!

On a sad note, we lost another friend this week. This was another soul lost to the bottle. He was a long time friend of my husbands and one of my favorite people in the whole world too. He was always very special to me as well as my hubby. It was pretty sad to watch what he was doing to himself. He was actually offered a new liver and he told them to give it to someone that deserved it more than himself. He wasn't willing to stop drinking. Addiction truly sucks. I am glad I stopped to see him last week. I held his hand and told him we all loved him and would really like it if he stuck around for awhile. They moved him to a nursing home and 4 days later he is gone. (sorry for the bummer, but think it is appropriate to share this here)

Hope everyone enjoyed their extra day this month soberly.:h