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    #46
    Magical March Madness - Week One

    Good Morning Fly Away, I hope your day at work is as pleasant as can be.

    Lav, was that embroidery one of yours? Oh, and I got on the scale this morning and am up yet another pound, so I say to you, be very happy about being down by 4! It's so hard at our age to lose anything. I have decided today I need to take action to bump up my metabolism and get serious about the weight. I can't afford to buy new clothes!

    Hi Chill, I agree whole-heartedly with you that there is a stigma and it is best to be careful. It's funny but it can make such a big difference how we present the situation and to whom. We can paint ourselves as "alcoholic in recovery" or "a person who recognized that alcohol was harmful and chose to move on". The latter is infinitely better. I was reading a post yesterday by Cuckoosnest in which she stated that she did not like to label herself "alcoholic" but preferred to think of herself as a person that has a problem with alcohol, or something like that. She said she is not just and alcoholic, but a person with so many facets. When one is called an alcoholic, it does seem to diminish all else about their personhood, does it not? I'm quite certain none on this thread are alcoholics. We have each so much depth and so much to share. We are people who have a problem with alcohol.

    Mylife, thanks for the topic as it is a good one for me to review. As far as who we tell: My hb knows first hand, as my drinking-alone-at-home was getting out of control and he was feeling very deserted and alone. I was placing alcohol ahead of our relationship. I am fortunate to have a hb that enjoys spending time with me and sharing activities and he was increasingly aware that I was slipping away. I have told my children simply that I have decided to cut back and that I was drinking too much. I have talked with each of them that genetically they need to be careful as problems with al do run in the family. I have told only one friend about the extent of my problem: the compulsion to drink, nightly drinking, waking and going to work hung-over, sometimes even still under the influence. I told only her because she also was struggling and we have helped each other by talking. One other close friend I have simply told her that I am cutting back and that I feel it would be more healthy for me.

    Cyn, Dew, Rustop, Rusy, Sped, LBH, SD, Cassia?, Blonde, Star, Sooty, Papmom, Kaslo, Raven, G?, everyone reading: cherish your day AF.
    Dill

    Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

    If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

    Comment


      #47
      Magical March Madness - Week One

      Hi Magical Mystical Marchers!

      I'm running late for work but had to say hi to everyone as I didn't have a chance to post last night. Day 12 for me and going strong! Will have to catch up with you all later as there was lots of good stuff on here this weekend! As you know, I work all weekend so it's a bit hectic for me. Just know that I am thinking of you and I am staying sober!

      Have a good day all and be well!
      Whatever you invest in the circle of LIFE is what comes back to you. Multiplied. What you give to people is what they eventually give back to you. Don't do the math. Just increase your LOVE.

      BE HAPPY...BE CONNECTED...BE HEALTHY!
      :h

      Comment


        #48
        Magical March Madness - Week One

        Good morning Marchers!

        Praying for the victims of the Souther & midwest tornado victims - such a terrible situation for those folks. I honestly don't know what I would do if my house was suddenly destroyed like that.

        I am grateful for the support I have received these past three years from my online support friends It's been enough to keep me focused, I have learned so much from so many wonderful people here. No one in my real life can truly understand the depth of our pain.

        Greetings to chill, Dill & Blondie!
        That embroidery design could be mine Dill - I just kind of borrowed that picture from an online design supplier :H

        I need to get myself ready - am going to a 60th wedding anniversary brunch for my former neighbors today - oh joy!

        Have a great AF Sunday one & all!
        Lav
        AF since 03/26/09
        NF since 05/19/09
        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

        Comment


          #49
          Magical March Madness - Week One

          Good morning!

          Thanks so much for your thoughtful responses. This really is a tricky question with our addiction. A really old friend of mine face booked me last night and we caught up. I know she is a recovering alcoholic as she was a raging drinker when we were in our twenties and out on the party circuit. (At that time I was the designated driver). Anyway, I told her that I'd developed a problem with AL and had quit - she was surprised but happy that we could be "sober friends" together. I really hid my drinking from friends and family as well when I did develop a problem with AL so I'll have to pick and choose whom to tell as I go along I suppose. Dill, like you it was my hubby who finally started asking me the hard questions and finally telling me he thought I had a problem. I was resentful at the time, but I'm thankful now.

          Chill - I also understand not wanting to upset your parents. My mom is older now and it might really upset her if I told her something like that. She's the type who'd wonder what she did wrong not to have known. Good luck with your double spin class. I can only get through one - barely! The guy who teaches the class however is in his late 60's or early 70's and he's going strong so I know I can get there!

          Blonde, Fly and Lav nice to hear from you! I'm loving this clear headed sober Sunday.

          Comment


            #50
            Magical March Madness - Week One

            Hey Marchers!

            Woke up with the HUGEST headache this morning (still have it actually, even after tylenol)...and my first thought was--hey, I'm not suppose to feel like this, I didn't drink last night. Gawd, the mornings of waking up and heading straight to the medicine cabinet--and telling my son to stay quiet because I didn't feel good...I actually felt guilty this morning when I asked him to keep it down because I had a headache--just remembering those mornings! UGH!!!!

            Adding to the discussion on who we've told about our drinking...my parents and sisters know I've stopped drinking and they all knew I had problem, I guess. I know I "drunk dialed" my mom on a few occasions and my sisters too. I'm not sure if any really understood the level of drinking that was occurring at my house. My mom may have, but never said anything, still doesn't. I've told one close friend (we go way back--from high school) that I stopped drinking and he was very supportive and very proud of me...he's very aware of how I grew up...we just talked about it earlier this week as a matter a fact. I even discussed with him how I was kinda nervous about the 20 year reunion in July because I know there will be lots of drinking but I will have just hit my year mark in June and I'm just not sure I want to throw it away for a night with "old friends"....which that part I felt awkward talking about because then he asked me, do you think you wouldn't be able to just have one or two? It was then I realized that as supportive as he was, he didn't understand...I know I could have one or two...but that wasn't what I was really talking about ...it's much more than that one night...and those two drinks. That'w what no one gets...but you all here!!:l Good topic Mylife!!

            Lav-Have fun at your brunch! You seemed pretty excited about it!:H

            Blondie--well into double digits now and heading into the 2 week mark!! Way to go!! Enjoy your evening when you're done with work!!

            Dill-I agree with what you were saying about being called alcoholics...I really don't like that word and I think with that word does come a negative stigma..even if you are "recovering". I think we are all joined together because we all realized on whatever level that alcohol was destroying good, positive parts of us and our lives...it wasn't bringing out the best in us and it WASN'T who we are...and just like a person who was treating us so badly, we wouldn't want them in our loves...nor should we want AL. Does your hubs have a brother..he sounds like a great guy...I'm so glad he's there for you and you for him...he's just as lucky, you know?!! :h

            Fly-Have a great day at work!

            Pap3--So glad you and your friend had a good visit...I think that was a good friendship to mend! Have a great Sunday!

            Rustop--you know, I never thought of myself "as getting my act figured out early in life"...I always looked at it from the other perspective..you know, the one that compares yourself to everyone else. Look what so and so has, look what they've accomplished, or the beautiful house they live in, or all children they have, or money or whatever...and I always look at myself as...what the hell took me so long to get this sh@t figured out? When you wrote that, it made me stop and think...I'm not even 40 yet, I have lots of living left to do but now its going to be done so much happier and healthier...and when I do find a relationship, it isn't going to be one clouded by AL and all the other negative junk that goes along with it...I just need to be patient....I DID get this figured out pretty early, and I should be proud of myself for that. Thank you!! :l

            LBH--you mentioned the last night evening of January...well you definitely put that night to rest...you flew through February amazingly!! Awesome job...onward to March!! Love your posts, always!!

            Rusty--"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up." --Vince Lombardi
            Take your time 'getting up', we'll be here when you do! Love ya, girl! :l

            Alright, headache still pounding...and I'm really, really hungry...must..find..food..
            Everyone to still check in HEELLLOOOO!!!! And have a Super Sunday!!
            SD
            "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

            6/18/11--7/3/12
            7/29/12

            Comment


              #51
              Magical March Madness - Week One

              SD - I hope the headache goes soon, these days if I get one its usually because i havent drank enough water or I have OD'd on sugar. On that front im feeling really proud as I gave up chocolate for lent and as im not keen on other sugary things my diet has been so much better.

              I know what you mean about friends not understanding, in the beginning I had a lot of "surely you can have a couple now after all this time...." we all know the answer to that. If he is supportive then try to explain it to him and ask him to extend his support to when you are in these situations.

              Dill - I too am with Cuckoosnest on not using the word "alcoholic" and prefer to say i had an alcohol dependancy. Not because I trivialize my addiction but im not keen on labels or the other assumptions our society give to that word.

              The majority of people on this site are not stereo typical alcoholics and in view of the very secrecy we are discussing it goes to show that figures for alcoholism are far higher than our governments understand them to be. And thats not even counting all the heavy drinkers still out there in denial.

              There must be friends of ours we dont even suspect with drink problems, last night a good friend called me and I noticed she was slurring her words. I would never have her down for a big drinker and hope it was a one off unwinding on a Saturday night. She was home alone which is what slightly concerned me.

              Rusty - I hope you are doing ok and hope you check in with us soon. :l
              "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
              AF - JAN 1st 2010
              NF - May 1996

              Comment


                #52
                Magical March Madness - Week One

                Just checking in on this lazy Sunday afternoon...

                Love the discussion on who we share our drinking issues with and the stigma of the alcoholism label. Only my husband knows my struggle, my kids know part of it, and I have talked to my brother and a close friend, to an extent. As far as the term alcoholic, the DSW-IV, that labels all substance abuse, well the bad news is most of us fit the label of alcohol dependency, or alcoholic. I don't care about labels myself. I just know that alcohol does not enhance my life, just the opposite. It ruins my health, relationships, and every other thing that counts.

                Lots of people go to class reunions and don't drink, others go and drink. It is a personal choice. I have been to several, drinking and not drinking. I look back on the nondrinking events with a better view. I always left early too, so if others got drunk, I did not know. However, looking back, the first class reunion did get out of control, not just me, lots of others. As the years go by, more and more people give up drinking, smoking, etc., as our bodies just cannot take it and we grow wiser and can have a good time without it.

                Rusty, hey, hope to hear from you when you are ready. Nuf said.

                As always, what a great thread. Have a peaceful Sunday evening. Let's hope that the tornados in the midwest and south are over for a time. It is a real tragedy.
                Formerly known as redhibiscus

                Comment


                  #53
                  Magical March Madness - Week One

                  The brunch for the 60th wedding anniversary couple was nice, went well without a drop of AL in sight! These people never ever drink so you know you are safe when you attend one of their parties

                  SD, do you get weather related headaches like I do??
                  Hope you are feeling much better by now.

                  Had the YB, DIL & grandsons here for dinner & all out of here by 7:30 ~ good :H

                  I'm going to put my feet up & just kick back for a while.
                  Wishing everyone a nice night.

                  Lav
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment


                    #54
                    Magical March Madness - Week One

                    Hey Marchers-just checking in before bed. Love the dicussion. have to agree on the labels. Never felt I was AN alcoholic but someone who cannot metabolize alcohol "normally" (whatever that is) and whose body developed a tolerance that led to an addiction. I have no problem saying I am addictied (addiction in this case being biochemical) to AL but am in recovery, just can't use the term alcoholic. anywho, that's my 2cents.

                    Chill-hope you got through your spin classes ok? And definitely hope you are getting some energy back but if not hope you will consider getting some blood work done.

                    SD-you have every right to be proud of yourself. Recognizing and getting your addiction under control at such a young age is a real blessing. You will not miss a thing in the next 20 years, believe me!!

                    Ok, taking this stuffed up nose and body to bed. Pharmacist said I can try sudaphed as my BP is under control at the moment. Not sure it will do anything more than neosynephrine does but we'll see. My meds better be here by tomorrow!!
                    New Birthday: May 8, 2010

                    "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

                    KO the Beast!!

                    Comment


                      #55
                      Magical March Madness - Week One

                      Good Morning fellow Marchers

                      Here's hoping for a magical week ahead.

                      Im handing in my notice at work today and feeling anxious and nervous so please send me all your positive thoughts. I have set a date of 19th April to leave Scotland and to start out I will be renting a room from a friend in Birmingham which is about 2.5 hours from London. At the moment I'm busy organising the removal, finding storage facilities etc. I have no clue what I will do when i get there but I know i have to take the 1st step to be able to see the next one.

                      At the moment I'm caught in a loop, not earning enough to save or qualify for a mortgage. I can't afford to continue paying the rent I'm paying and working full time I can't apply for jobs in other areas as i can't take the time off or afford to travel to interviews. Once I'm down there, there are an abundance of towns within a couple of hours drive so i can take the time to check out jobs and also the area's I'd most like to live in. There are also lots of plans within the plans which I can't decide on until I'm physically there.

                      Have a great Monday guys
                      "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                      AF - JAN 1st 2010
                      NF - May 1996

                      Comment


                        #56
                        Magical March Madness - Week One

                        Good morning everyone

                        Had a busy week-end. My daughter was in a debating competition on Saturday and then flew to Berlin with her class yesterday so there was a lot of to'ing and fro'ing. She is class rep and organised this trip. There are about 25 of them so hopefully it will all go ok. One of the hostels she contacted told her they had a bad experience with a group of Irish (probably alcohol related). She booked another hostel as she felt that one would be biased towards them but I do hope her group behaves themselves!!

                        :welcome: Mylife. Interesting topic. Personally I keep MWO to myself and nobody apart from hubbie would guess I have a problem with alcohol. I did try AA a few times and found it depressing and could not relate. I dont like the idea of labeling either. One of the reasons I am not more open about it is because I have heard the way people judge and speak about people with alcohol problems. As some of you pointed out they just dont 'get it'. I am so happy to have found this site and that I get to share my journey with such wonderful people.

                        Better dash as I still have to get a school lunch ready. Have a great week everyone.

                        Rustop

                        Comment


                          #57
                          Magical March Madness - Week One

                          Woohoo, it's Monday...

                          Chill, good luck to you, you are courageous in so many ways. Risk=Opportunity and I just know that positive employment will come your way. For the last several months, it is clear that your current environment is not healthy for you, and hoping and affirming you will gain healthy energy in your new environment. We are here for you.

                          Rustop, your girls have some awesome experiences and certainly keep you busy.

                          Papmom, sorry you are sick again. My husband just caught a cold and I am hoping I can keep it away.

                          Busy week scheduled at work, I need to be at the top of my game.

                          Lav, you give more dinners than most, lots of work, lots of love.

                          To all, have a great day.
                          Formerly known as redhibiscus

                          Comment


                            #58
                            Magical March Madness - Week One

                            Hi Gang!

                            Happy Monday Morning! I hope you all have a super day. Heading into the 2 week mark tomorrow...yipee! I know AlmostFamous is right there with me as a tie for AF days. Glad this is a race we can ALL win!

                            Well, off to work but wanted to check in as I didn't get on here last night. Finished the book, "My Lush Sobriety" and I must say, the end had me in tears. The author closed with the realization that sobriety shoudn't be a "chore" that you loathe. A curse. A negative or punishment for all those years of "partying". Rather, if you look at the positives that it brings to your life, if we CHOOSE sobriety for the fact that it makes dreams come true, than we see it in a whole new light. For that author, for example, it was running a marathon, writing books, plus a whole slew of other things that she always wanted to do but drinking took precedence. I have dreams that I have forgotten about or put on the back burner so I could continue drinking. Now that I CHOOSE sobriety as a way of life because that's the way I WANT TO LIVE, I can see my dreams coming back into light. Anything is possible now because my life is not designed around getting to that bottle of wine at 5PM. Wow, this is for real.

                            Bye for now, I hope to get on tonight well AFTER 5PM, when I have done a fantastic work out and had a great day, AF.

                            Blessings to all. Love and hugs to everyone
                            Whatever you invest in the circle of LIFE is what comes back to you. Multiplied. What you give to people is what they eventually give back to you. Don't do the math. Just increase your LOVE.

                            BE HAPPY...BE CONNECTED...BE HEALTHY!
                            :h

                            Comment


                              #59
                              Magical March Madness - Week One

                              Good morning Marchers,

                              Looking partly sunny outside my windows, I'll take it

                              Chill, I really hope you find what you need. Staying put in your current situation is not the answer. I hope some day I am brave enough to take what I need & move on to something easier to take care of like a granny condo or something

                              Rustop, always busy with your girls, that's nice. Hope you have a great day!

                              Star, when my family is here the meals are totally family-style.....they wait on themselves :H
                              Nothing fancy, really. Hope you have a great day too.

                              Greetings Blondie. We do make a choice each & every morning to be sober & happy (and non-smoking)

                              OK, off to get my Curves fix. Have a great AF Monday one & all!
                              Lav
                              AF since 03/26/09
                              NF since 05/19/09
                              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                              Comment


                                #60
                                Magical March Madness - Week One

                                Wow Papmom, you have been busy! I'm glad that you and your friend worked out your differences. Having connections is important. I hope your cold clears up quickly. I despise having a stuffed nose!

                                Mylife I haven't really told anyone about my drinking. DH knows that I'm not drinking right now and in typical fashion has offered to run out and buy me booze, where if I were actively drinking he wouldn't. Don't know what that's about. He's also tried to get me to sit down and have drinks with him and a friend. I really think it's subconscious with him; he doesn't have a malicious bone in his body. But it seems like when he's aware that I'm not drinking he starts suggesting it more to me. The rest of my family and friends won't say anything to me about it most likely.

                                Chill I so agree with you about the stigma associated with alcohol addiction and think that the stigma makes many people not seek help. I'm not sure if you've read Jason Vale's book or not, but he specifically talks about the stigma and the whole term "alcoholic" and what a detriment they are. I'm not going to get into all of it here, but why is alcohol addiction seen as something different than heroin addiction? Why is someone who was once addicted to heroin but stopped not seen as a heroin addict 20 years later, but someone who had an alcohol addiction is an alcoholic 20 years later? Positive vibes to you for your move. It will all work out perfectly.

                                Dill I agree with you. Alcoholic is not a helpful term and I believe turns people away from getting help.

                                Hey Blonde! I'm a weekend worker too and it's hard for me to check in and do personals during my work week. I believe today is lucky 13 for you! Interesting about that book. That's what Jason Vale says too; people only feel deprived when they stop drinking alcohol if they think they're missing something. But alcohol doesn't give us anything. It only takes away.

                                Lav I have thought the same thing about the tornado victims. What would I do? So very sad. I think the 60-year anniversary sounds fantastic. What a beautiful celebration of love. I bet they were happy to share it with you. I hope you have fun at Curves. Getting the body moving and the blood pumping almost always makes me smile.

                                Stargazer unfortunately I find that at most of the events I attend, about 95% of the people are drinking. I even notice it at restaurants. Positive, healthy vibes to you to keep your husband's cold germs to himself!

                                SD sorry to hear about your headache, but isn't it funny how we were used to waking up feeling like crap before? And now we realize that it's not normal to feel that way. Hope you're feeling better today.

                                Rustop your daughter sounds quite accomplished! You must be very proud of her. People certainly do judge you if you stop drinking and admit to having a problem. But if you drink then you clearly don't have a problem. Makes no sense!

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