Monday January 22nd

[Popeye]

Good morning everyone.

I'm still feeling bad about drinking on Saturday. I'm angry and annoyed and embarrassed. I'm feeling quite jittery and nervous aswell. I don't know why. Hopefully, I'll feel better soon. I think the phrase is 'pity party'

I'm sorry to start the week on such a downer but I'm just telling it the way it is. I'll maybe feel better with a few more "0s" in the kitty.
Anyway, well done everyone who has managed to keep going, and if you've had a slip, try and be more positive than me.

[Cashregister]

Monday January 22nd

Hiya Paul,

Don't fret. It was a tiny weenie slip up. You will be fine.

I've been beating myself up this weekend too - been 9 days AF but tried to give up smoking at the same time and just couldn't.

Still, i've come to (nearly) the end of the working day today and the great people here have helped me stop thinking i'm a failure.

Plough on.

lotsa love

Cashy
xxxx

[Cashregister]

Monday January 22nd

lol fan

[Popeye]

Monday January 22nd

I only smoke after sex......
I'm a 20-a-day man.

[Cashregister]

Monday January 22nd

well haven't you cheered up then!

Have a great day - i'm going home from work now - to sleep

Cashy
xxx

[Popeye]

Monday January 22nd

Thanks Matey!

[Olly]

Monday January 22nd

Mornin' Abbers,
new day, new week, new start...

Paul, how did it go on Friday night? Was that maybe what tripped you up? I'm trying to get a handle on the whole socializing thing myself. I've got a traditional "drinking party" in two weeks and I am planning not to drink, but I know I am vulnerable.

Cashy, hang in there honey. Hey, maybe a "bigger picture" might help with the ciggie issue... at least you cut down in the last week. Maybe you should try weaning yourself off of them. Or, just not worry about it now while you're in early days with AF. I think you're doing great.

Hi Fan... I love your posts, you keep me chuckling!

Melon?? Where are ya???

Okay, wishing everyone a happy sober Monday... well, at least sober. :H
Olly

[hidden_gem]

Monday January 22nd

Hello all,

Hi Paul. Sorry that you have been feeling bad about your slip-up. I think you can be really proud that you've come straight back and got back on the MYO bus! Don't forget that the alcohol may have put your brain chemistry out of whack too - you just forget that it used to make you feel this depressed.

Cash... I quit the ciggies at the same time I quit drinking. I'm using the patches and it seems to be going okay for now - I don't think I would have been successful without that help though!

Fan... mind in the gutter as usual... love it!

Olly, I have same issue about the socializing thing. I've just been lying low at the moment... I know it can't last forever and my inner party animal will be unleased again... but how to be a sober party animal? I have to find a way!

Happy Monday everyone, may this week be a walk in the park.

Gem x

[bear73]

Monday January 22nd

Try not to beat yourself up it does make it worse, sorry to hear that you lapsed.
It may help to hear that you are a big encouragement to me so hang on in there. I'm in day 10 af at the moment but would be one day 22 - I lapsed twice.
You need to treat yourself - do something to make you feel good - chocolate,buy a CD,book,DVD, go for a meal see a film whatever floats your boat
What helps me is taking it day by day, or hour by hour if I'm out socially and remembering how good I will feel if I don't drink that day. I also look back and decide exactly what feeling led me to drink and then try to replace it wiht another train of thought.Staying out of ounds reallyhelps.I also find saying I'm not drinking cos I'm trying to lose weight, get fit helps - for some reason people really get weird about their friends not drinking.Guess it's just change.

I know for me when I lapsed - both times socially it was because if felt nervous, left out. Now I rationalise it as drinking didn't help(it makes me worse,I try to breathe deeply and remind myself that it will pass, ask someone else lots of questions about them to get out of my own head.
You can do it, dust yourself off and keep posting, I think it's something that we need to keep trying and each time we lapse we will learn from it:l

[Ilex]

Monday January 22nd

Morning All !

Day 8 for me and can't quite believe that I've done a week - thanks for all your support - it's so nice to come on here and be amongst friends who understand! x

Gem & Olly - I was / am really concerned about the whole social thing........ For the last week I definitely have been 'quieter' and it helps that my local pub has been shut. However I think part of my 'high' at the weekend was due to the fact that I went to a dinner over the weekend and not only survived not drinking but had an absolutely fantastic time. It has really given me confidence that I can do it again - although I am all too aware that a slip is potentially just round the corner.

For what it's worth - (my pearls of wisdom!) - I took a long time to prepare for the dinner. Mentally more than anything else. For the preceding days I was prepping myself - visualising myself there and having a good time, being relaxed and comfortable etc. I also made sure that I didn't have anything to do on the afternoon preceding the party so that I could get ready slowly, not rush and start to feel insecure and be wanting my 'crutch' etc. I was really worried about going to it and how I would cope - but it was OK in the end.

I am already prepping myself mentally for this weekend when my friends take over the local pub - I am known to be a steady, daily drinker there so to go in and not drink is going to be hard! (and it's only 50 yds from my house so haven't even got the excuse of driving) - there's going to be a huge party atmosphere in there so I know it's going to be very tough....... Having said all of that I am very keen to keep going to these things and 'carry on as normal' as I know that I do use alcohol as a crutch and if I can show myself that I don't need it to be confident / be able to converse / be sociable etc than I think that's half my battle and a major reason why I'm AF'ing. I'm trying to discover the person that I've lost....

Hope you all have a great day - Paul, my sweet - keep going, please don't beat yourself up - you are such an inspiration to us all :l

I x

[Pebbles]

Monday January 22nd

I agree, I can tell anyone I'm giving it a miss tonight cos I'm trying to lose weight, driving, pregnant, on medication for a serious sexually transmitted disease, a paranoid schizophrenic (?) with an axe on me, or a werewolf and they don't bat an eyelid...say you're trying to abstain for even a day and all hell breaks loose!

I told my sister I thought I was overdoing it about 4 years ago...she went straight into head in the sand mode. Principally cos she drinks too and if I've got a problem, so has she and she doesn't want to go there.

Keep with us Paul, you're an inspiration to us all.
Pebbles

[Olly]

Monday January 22nd

Hey gang,
Thanks for the replies about socializing. There's a part of me that REALLY wants a drink or two in a social situation... the ol' dutch courage or whatever you want to call it. And, if I try really, really, really hard I can keep it to one or two glasses, but man, is that exhausting! And, the last thing I want to do is get drunk.. I've done that enough times already!! So, in all honesty, I'd rather not go to a party.. I'm happy to stay home and do nothing, and not drink. Fortunately, I don't have major cravings to drink at home. But, I don't want to be self-exiled, I want to have fun, I want to see my friends... I just don't know if I should. Gee... guess it's pretty obvious I'm doing some mental loops these days.

For what it's worth, I am making progress though. Yesterday while preparing for our dinner party, I didn't drink. That's a first! And, I enjoyed prepping and cooking all day. I was relaxed, organized and "into the zen" of it all. Gee, my kitchen was so much cleaner and no broken dishes... go figure?

Olly

[bear73]

Monday January 22nd

I find the idea of socialising without a drink harder than the reality sometimes - I find it easier not to drink than to moderate sometimes too.
how about going to cinema or theatre instead with people,then it's sociable but not so boozy?
ake it a step at a time - maybe stay in for a couple of weekends?or just go out one night - I think part of the battle is convincing ourselves that we can do it.I know i felt very defeated a while back and just coudln't even do a day.
keep going Olly

[Breez]

Monday January 22nd

Hi All!

I agree Bear....when I tried moderation a numerous times (& eventually failed) I found it exhausting. Having a drink-watching the clock, timing the sips, spacing the drinks. Or saying don't start till 5 and eventually 5 became 2 and the drinks became more in between. It's so much easier to say I'm not going o drink & not worry about anything but having a good time.

Well I'm off to start my nursing classes! Have a great sober day everyone!

hugs:l

[Guest]

Monday January 22nd

Good morning everyone.
Paul, you sound much better! I hate that jittery, ucky feeling a day or two after drinking more than wanted. It is taking me SO long these days to recover from a drinking episode. Maybe because I try to follow it up with several days of abs rather than "hair of the dog", or giving myself 1 hangover AF day, then going straight back to it once I was feeling the slightest bit better. It's good to know what it feels like to TRULY have all the booze out of your system. To not be able to taste it, smell it still, have shakey hands, bloodshot eyes. Are you getting to feel like that again today? hope so. May your slip give you continued strength:l

Olly, bear, Seabreez...about the socializing thing. I'm envious of you that you are havig a good time despite not drinking! I'm sorry, that is so incredibly disgustingly selfish, but you are all doing so great with it. CONGRATULATIONS to all of you for meeting your goals.

Yesterday, we had a football little party. Would have normally involved drinking, but these friends know all about "my problem" so they did not bring booze over to our house for the first time EVER, I think. Well, everything was going along fine, but I felt so stupid. Like I was wrecking everyone else's time. We were drinking our Sprite Zero and bottled water, and I just blurted out:
"You know, you guys can have a beer. You don't have to not drink just because of loser me".
Nice, huh? I got some backlash about it "becca you are not a loser" bla bla bla. And "oh we drank yesterday, so we don't NEED to drink today"...
And hubby said later "that -loser- comment didn't go over too well I don't think. becca, they are not drinking because they love you and are supporting you..."

Anyhow, day 4 consecutive today. Just feeling blue. I'm doing more AF days than ever these last couple months (save from pregnancy), but it still feels uncomfortable.
Talk about dry drunk.

Oh well.

Thank you for your positivity and sorry to be a downer AGAIN.

We finally have a few inches of snow on the ground! yeah!! the kids love it.
And HOW ABOUT 'DEM COLTS?? scary one....we ordered our AFC Champion gear today! Shirts for the whole family.
Sorry about your Saints, Kathy.

off to work.