AA Weekly: Mar. 12 - 18

[Doggygirl]

AA Weekly: Mar. 12 - 18

That was a powerful moment for me too Unwasted. I'm really glad you posted about it. It brings back important memories. There used to be a lot of "sting" in the word alcoholic for me. Something I feared. Something I wished and hoped I wasn't. Now that word has zero emotional power over me. It's a fact of my life - a condition I have to manage by not drinking alcohol. The later years of my drinking. (well, actually many many years of my drinking) were filled with secrecy. Filled with things unsaid and truths unspoken. NEVER talking about my inner struggle with alcohol. Saying things out loud has been SO freeing. Typing stuff here at MWO was such an important start. SAYING it all has been another level of freeing.

I'm glad you are enjoying the meetings. I have learned so much about myself and about life around those tables, and the lessons continue for me. So many of my human relationships were affected by alcohol. I didn't really learn how to relate to people beyond the superficial. If someone made me mad (i.e my husband) I drank. Happy? I drank. Etc. I love the fact that around the tables, I am recognizing emotions and learning (slowly) how to really deal with life. What a gift. Now when someone says something that evokes a reaction in me, I immediately recognize the opportunity to learn something new about myself.

DG

[Unwasted]

AA Weekly: Mar. 12 - 18

DG, I have anesthestized myself for so long - it's a whole new world to deal with life sober. It makes me feel proud of myself for being strong enough not to need a crutch. But, as everyone here has said - complacency can be a big issue even for people who have been sober for years. That's scary, but I'm glad to know about it so I can watch out for not being lax.

I'm looking forward to growing as a person and I think these meetings will give me a huge opportunity to experience life on a new level.

You know what's funny now? I'm sure you guys have had this kind of thinking. I now look at alcohol as an absolutely crazy thing to put in our bodies on any level. I feel like I'm operating in another universe........I think......how on earth can drinking something that does to people what alcohol does.......be so widely accepted as okay? Look at the havoc it wreaks, the devestation......and isn't it strange to think of standing next to someone at a party, say, and they start putting something to their lips that as you're standing there is changing them dramatically on the inside.........they're whole inner being is getting woozy, losing it's fear, losing it's grip on reality.......etc., etc.

All of this now seems like total insanity to me. Yet, I did it without questioning it for decades. How can this be?

Such a strange and wonderful turn of events in my head. But, now I look at people, and wonder........why is it this is so readily accepted as normal?

I'm rambling.......but I'm sure you guys get this.

[Doggygirl]

AA Weekly: Mar. 12 - 18

I think the reason we gravitate so easily toward alcohol and/or other substances is because 1) we want to change the way we feel and 2) these substances change the way we feel fast and easy. To change the way I feel by natural means, I have to work at it. It's not easy. My efforts are not always rewarded with results. If my professor is to be believed, that is at the root of it somewhere, for most people.

I was en route to hear my sponsee speak for the first time when she called and told me she was broken down on the side of the road. She was so disappointed, and I was disappointed for her! She is going to be an awesome ambassador of hope though, so I know she will have many more opportunities. This meeting was at one of the local treatment centers. I ended up filling in for her. What a rewarding experience. It was not an official AA meeting but an information "group" meeting. It was just me and the women in treatment speaking heart to heart. They certainly gave something special to my recovery. I hope I gave something to theirs.

DG

[Bean]

AA Weekly: Mar. 12 - 18

Hi all you wonderful Abbers!

I just wanted to say something about calling ourselves 'alcoholic' at meetings. I was VERY uncomfortable with it for quite a long time until one day I decided that all it really is, is one word that covers a whole raft of meaning. Kind of like how one Chinese character can sum up what takes us 2 sentences to write in English.

To me, "I'm an alcoholic" means "I'm the same as you. I may be different in age, appearance, gender, background, ethnicity, education and wealth but none of that matters because here in this room, we are all equal, we all understand what AL has done to us, we have all suffered because of our addiction to it."

We could be saying Hi, I'm Bloggs and I'm an alien/miraculous/left handed/allergic/a clown and it wouldn't matter, so long as we all identified as the same thing with the same purpose in mind.

Well, that's what I think anyway!
Bean

[Unwasted]

AA Weekly: Mar. 12 - 18

I think the reason we gravitate so easily toward alcohol and/or other substances is because 1) we want to change the way we feel and 2) these substances change the way we feel fast and easy. To change the way I feel by natural means, I have to work at it

DG - this quick fix is what our brain is searching for - that escape. Now, every time I have a low moment and have to actually work through it, I come out feeling stronger and proud of myself for not needing a crutch to deal with life. And, really, my problems are nothing compared to what most people have to navigate. That's when I have to switch to the gratitude mode. When I start thinking about alcohol I remind myself of a little kid having a tantrum for her candy or toy.:H It passes pretty quickly.

Bean, I love your description - this is so right on in my mind. Thank you for the analogy - it works!

Well, off to meetings today. I'm really looking forward to them!

[Doggygirl]

AA Weekly: Mar. 12 - 18

Gratitude is an amazing thing, isn't it? It is certainly the antidote to most of my own self inflicted misery!

DG

[cpn1004]

AA Weekly: Mar. 12 - 18

Great posts by y'all this week.
It is great to be an alcoholic, isn't it? Well maybe great to be on in recovery. It took me some time to get comfortable saying it, but it is no big deal now. As DG wrote it is not who we are. We are all precious children of ____________ (enter your higher power in the blank),

[lucky 2.0]

AA Weekly: Mar. 12 - 18

I like the spiritual approach of AA very much. However, I find that despite the variety of mtgs I attend, many do not work and only know what day it is when they pick up the newspaper. And many are smokers, which is just another addiction. Or fat, a symbol of a food obsession. I wish I could make AA work for me but so far I have not. For those who have, continued success. For those who have not tried it, do not let my experience influence yours.