Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 26 - Apr. 1

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 26 - Apr. 1

Hi Sausage. Your questions are very welcome here! And they are good questions.

In terms of variations on sobriety in the meetings, I found a LOT of variation between meetings in my area. My home group (a group that *I* have chosen to be my "anchor" meeting - this is not required) has a lot of stable, long term sobriety. Then a lot of newer people coming and going and many stay around! I have been to other meetings where there is less long term sobriety. I wouldn't worry too much about that. Find the meetings that *speak* to you and disregard the rest.

I was 8 months AF when I went to my first AA meeting. I was really struggling with fear of relapse. I also saw people posting here at MWO who were AA participants, and I liked what they were saying about how their sober lives were evolving, etc. with the help of AA. I wanted what they had so I went and checked it out.

I have since met others who started going to AA after their sober date. But I don't think it's the "norm" (whatever that is LOL). I did encounter a very small number of people who questioned whether I was a "real" acoholic blah blah blah. If you encounter anything like that, it's surely the (very small) minority - just move on. You will meet plenty of people who get it. I know I have. I've made a lot of good sober friends in AA. It is fabulous to have people in my real life who totally understand me.

I also like the SMART tools - they helped me a great deal.

I'll try anything to get and stay sober. It's worth it!

DG

[SAUSAGE]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 26 - Apr. 1

Thanks DG, that helps a lot.

One other question ( well 2 actually!) - Is it usual to give out coins at AA for different goals of sobriety achieved? Is it 1 months, 6 months and every year etc. Also do people often have a cake to celebrate each sobriety anniversary?

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 26 - Apr. 1

From what I have seen, there is a lot of variations between meeting groups, especially on the cake part. I spoke at a meeting once where they celebrate all significant anniversaries on one night each month, with a "bring a dish" buffet, cake, etc. On the other hand, in my home group you just mention your anniversaries on the day of (or week of), a coin is passed for everyone to put their love on it, and that is that.

The groups purchase the coins and coins are available for a lot of different time frames. My home group does coins for 24 hours, 1,2,3,6 months, 1 year, 18 months, and then from 2 years on it's just every year. There is some variation in how groups do things in the first year - 2 from what I have seen.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 26 - Apr. 1

Sausage: In my groups, there are chips given for each month up to a year. Even a 24 hour chip for newcomers or for relpasers coming back. It's very encouraging to all involved, the recipients & the newcomers as well. A mediallion/coin is given for years in sobriety & often there is a cake.

AA was there for me when I wanted to get sober. Yes, there are people who are alcohol-free but need a program to live by. The 12 steps really are great in terms of giving a good orderly direction to life. Sometimes people come who are thinking about getting sober but are still drinking. And, yes, I've even occasionally seen drunk people at meetings. No one is barred from a meeting unless they are interfering w/the meeting.

The 3rd tradition states that (I paraphrase): Anyone who has a desire to stop drinking is eligible for membership in AA. You don't have to be a falling down drunk. I wasn't, but I definitely didn't drink like a normal person. I consider myself an alcoholic because:
-I hid my drinking.
-I blacked out regularly.
-I had other physical symptoms.
-I had other emotional problems as a result of drinking.
-etc.

I love my groups & my sober friends. Again, as I said above, I'm losing my inhibitions about seeing folks from the community at AA meetings. We're all there to get better.

Take care. Any question you have is legitimate. The confusion will clear up as you go to meetings & meet people.

Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 26 - Apr. 1

Did someone mention Cake
Keep up the good work sausage.x

Love reading through everyone posts always learning me !

I have been dreaming of AA meetings and my step 10 the other day it must be working inside and out and when i'm sleeping. :H but i love it because its a sign to tell me that i have not been working my step 10 the way i should be.

Doggygirl, you mention that you was 8months when you started a AA but was struggling with the fear of relapse. wow how powerful that is i know deep down now if i was to stop AA it would not be long before i pick up. My head told me the other day because the weather been really nice in the uk the thought come in my head that if i was to make ice lollies out of AL it should be ok. Dont ask me where that one come from, madness ! going AA keeps me sane and gives me awareness inside and outside.

Have a lovely weekend everyone and thank you ALL 4 helping me keep sober another day! x



.

[allswell]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 26 - Apr. 1

Thank you Mary for this thread and for helping to clear some misconceptions I've had about AA. It's helpful to me to know I can take what works and leave the rest. The comments on each person working their own program and tailoring AA to our individual needs is not what I thought, I incorrectly assumed it was a rigid 12 step cookie cutter program. One benefit I can see is being with a group of like minded people who want alcohol out of their lives. I'm a workaholic alcoholic, with not much of a family ,and the only people I associate with are drinkers and clients and neither group I'm going to look to for support. I've quit 4 times in the past two years for varying lengths of between 3 and 4 months and then I buckle often because I feel like it's just me fighting this monster and it finally gets me at my weakest. This quit feels different, more permanent and natural and I want to incorporate all tools. I see AA having an important place. Again, thank you for this thread.

[Unwasted]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 26 - Apr. 1

Hi Allswell, glad you stopped by here. I'm going to a meeting tomorrow that I've been to a few times. I know the meetings are all different, but I really think it's worth giving it a try. I think it might be a great fit for you. Like me, you don't have a support group of people who don't drink. That's what AA is giving me........just to be in a room full of people who "get it" and can help and encourage you to abstain. I love MWO but feel the need for real people in my life who don't drink. Both of the different locations I've been to have groups that get together afterward for lunch or coffee. I highly recommend going if you can. I've already made a couple of friends and it's such a nice feeling. Let us know how it goes.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 26 - Apr. 1

UW & AW: I had to make myself go to meetings in the beginning. It was all a little wierd, & I felt terminally unique...I'm an older woman w/grandchildren. It seemed like a lot of "dudes" in the program. I can now see that all the AAers can offer me something, & I feel a bond w/almost everyone. Good luck! Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 26 - Apr. 1

Hi all! Went to an early meeting today that is focused on the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. The traditions are truly amazing when you consider the scope of the fellowship, guided by only 12 "rules" that fit on a poster. It took me a while to become interested in learning about the traditions, but now I find it facinating. "First things first" I guess.

For people who might be looking at this thread and don't know about the traditions of AA , here is a link that I like. AA History - Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Traditions Checklist

Anyway, today we talked about Tradition 4, and all the flexibility people have to start groups and to decide how their meetings will go. I realized how much I have grown to appreciate both the similarities and differences between groups - the same as I now have a deeper apprecation of the similarities and differences with individuals. I have learned to look for the similarities, and look for the positives in the people and in life around me.

One woman said something that rang a bell with me. She said "all meetings feed me something I need, even if I don't know what I'm hungry for." It's sometimes hard, but I try to accept that there is something good that can come out of every meetings - even the ones that make me uncomfortable.

Hope everyone is having a great day. Related to a school project, I am heading out to a Spanish speaking AA meeting. Talk about something that would have made me extremely uncomfortable previously - I don't speak Spanish and I have no idea if anyone there will speak English. But I am going anyway, despite my fears and discomforts. That is so FREEING!

DG