April AF Flock ~ Week 2

[Lavande]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Guess who's sitting under my desk nipping at my ankles? :H
I'm in my shop tonight catching up on some work

I hope everyone has a relaxing evening after a weekend of fun & food

[BlondeAFAmbition]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

A bit of a novel tonight...Blonde needs to vent about Easter happenings...

Hi Gang,

Wow, second week in April already!!!

Thanks for the "Pep Pap Talk", Papmom...that means so much.

Saw Mom at the gym tonight and she didn't say anything about yesterday other than she had a really nice time and kind of paused to hear my reply. I was reading a magazine and on the bike at the time as I had been at the gym before her and I said, yeah, it was nice. Not sure how to approach this one guys or if I should just LET IT GO...a new phrase I am trying to embrace. Easier said than done sometimes though. She said she was tired this morning but I knew what that reallly meant is that she must have been feeling pretty hungover. Being sober in a room full of drinkers makes you sort of watch what everyone else is doing...like I was their own personal drink tracker (kept me enterained as the conversations were kinda not interesting me to be honest! Maybe I am boring sober. I kinda felt like that yesterday in the midst of everyone getting buzzed. Anyhoo...I don't care, I am feeling so much better sober and I think I just need to branch out and maybe get in with some new peeps who don't drink (in person in addition to all of you wonderful family here on MWO!). In the book, My Lush Sobriety, the author talks about being sober around drinkers in the early stages and obsessing about what they are drinking, how much, how little, their actions as they further drink and so on. I feel like I am at that stage. I am rambling...I know. Back to how much AL my mother had...we got there at 2PM and left at 8PM...drinking started from the getgo with everyone, well, everyone except me, who brought her basket full of diet gingerale and a few bottles of selzter water. As soon as I walked in the door, the host said, Oh, and I have champagne! You like Champagne don't you? And for the very slight sliver of a second, I automatically thought YES! YES! YES! I DO LIKE IT! But I replied politely, I'm going to have some water for now. And right then and there I knew I had won over AL yesterday (BlondePower at its finest PAPMOM!) although I felt like the odds were stacked high against me. Anyway, again, back to mom, who started at 2 and ended at 8 and had not only white wine but the chocolate wine that my MIL brought which looked more like Bailey's than wine...kinda sounded gross acutally. From what they said (after I declined booze for about the 20th time during the course of the evening) was that it was very strong. Mom had 2 hefty glasses of that. Needless to say, she passed out in the car on the ride home and we were so sure that she would that hubs wouldn't take me up on my bet for 5 bucks that I tried to make with him jokingly that wanna bet that she would pass out on the way home...lol. Luckily, hubs is easy going and can tolerate her drunk behavior better than me. Finally when I really had enough and wanted to get on the road, they were going to have yet another round of drinks and I guess I became the party pooper and said we had to get going cause Hubs needs to be to work at 6AM and me at 7:30AM Monday morning (true statement!). My SIL begged me to stay for a while longer (also a drinker but I think she can usually take it or leave it unlike me...last night she definitely "took" it!) I got a bit peeved at that since I wanted to leave and was already bored out of my mind, no use in trying to talk to anyone as they were all far along buzzed and I was stone cold sober. Finally we rounded up my mother and helped her down the stairs (this was scary!) and into the car and yes she passed out on the way home. So I am not suprised that she made the comment that she was "tired" this morning...

The comment she made that I am no longer fun because I do not drink bothers me. She also said that I quit drinking just because I want to be "skinny". This suprised me since we have been working out together for a few months and she knows that I am really trying to get in shape. I didn't have a reply to this rather loud comment at the dinner table when I refused AL for now the 21st time. What I felt like saying (in front of the whole family who was now staring at me and my new slimmer figure...embarassing) is that I quit drinking not to be thinner but to be healthier. Cause that is the real reason. The fact that it has helped me to get my flat tummy back(was bloated there for the last 15 years!) is just another positive effect of sobriety! But I thought of that comeback on the way home and what is the point...she only said it because she was drunk and I think maybe she is a little gunshy of my weightloss because she is a bit worried that it is a sign of a previous food disorder (anorexia) from my early 20's but guys, that was a LONG time ago (pushing 40 this summer!). To give you an idea of the extent, I am 5ft 10 inches tall and went down to 110 lbs when I was at my worst with the anorexia. I was a human clothes hanger, basically. Lost my period for a long time. It was right before I met my ex-husband, who actually helped me through the disorder but then also helped me to become an alcoholic. F**K, this is a sad story so I am going to stop typing and switch gears tonight but it has been therapeutic to get this out and thank you all to those who are still reading! Rest assured that I am a healthy eater, a non drinker and feel great hovering at just below 150 lbs where I plan to stay. I think mom doesn't realize that I am trully over the disorder I had 20 years ago and it came out last night in a few drunken comments...like when she said I am too skinny and I shouldn't do the cardio machines and just lift weights to build myself up (I do a combination of both). And I guess when I passed on the rolls and she said to my MIL that I don't "eat" anymore and isn't that a shame, she didn't see that I had piled my plate high with turkey and ham and veggies instead? My point being that I do eat well, just not white breads and sweets, etc.

Ok, enough of a novel but the whole Easter episode needed to get off my flat chest (guess where the weight came off first? ) I know you guys will understand. That's what I love about my Wolf Pack! I think what this will lead to is having a serious talk with my mother about my sobriety when she is also sober and can hear me. I can only think that my own mother would be happy to know I have given up a negative in my life for a positive, right? Isn't that what parents what for their children? Pap, I'm sure there is something to what you said...that she knows the inevitable or "the right" thing for her to do would be stop drinking (she always complains about her "wine belly" but blames it on hormones, which yes, I'm sure play a part as you get older, but I also think that drinking so heavily puts it around her waist too...that and it's also a sign of liver damage! So, I will keep you posted on the mother and daughter saga and if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears!!! Pap, BlondePower...I LOVE it!

Have a great night all and may joy be in all of your hearts this wonderful evening :l Sorry for the long post but I guess I gotta do one every once in a while :thanks:

[BlondeAFAmbition]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

PS, forgot to mention in the above novella that since I was feeling pretty bad about the comment that I'm no fun anymore now that I don't drink, I asked Hubs about it...since he still drinks and I do not. I asked him if he thought I was boring now that I don't drink (why this bothered me so damn much considered the source, I don't know but it did so there) and he said that he didn't care if I drank or not (kind of a weird comment...) but that I am still the same fun "me" and loves me just the way I am. I know he supports my sobriety but I don't think he knew how rough being around all tht AL yesterday was and how much of a victory it was for me NOT to drink and so I felt a bit alone yesterday because of it. Yes, I know, I should have come here but the day slipped away and I was grateful to get bed last night...I was exhausted emotionally...

[sunshine_gg]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

:l Blondie

Sorry, goosers, not much from me tonight. Kind of a rough drive and feeling pretty drained.
Good night, friends.

[Lavande]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Blondie, mother & daughter relationships can be rough, even under the best of circumstances. Your mother sounds like a woman who stubbornly prefers to to remain in denial. That's her problem honey, don't make it yours
You are doing the right thing for yourself, don't ever question that! Borrow some of my famous Lavan-ittude & just think Feck what everyone else thinks, who the hell cares?? :H :H

Wishing everyone a good night. I have to run out early tomorrow morning for a 2 hr babysitting stint then back home to my own baby

[rustop59]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Good morning everyone

Lav - I am in love :h:h:h My daughter has been hinting at getting a puppy for her 18th, we shall see.

Blonde - :goodjob: on being so strong. It is not easy being around so much drinking and as Lav just said your Mom is stuck firmly in denial. Nothing you can do about that, just concentrate on yourself. I can say from experience that it is much easier to be around people who do not drink. My visitors this past week-end were pretty much non drinkers.

Just back from weight watchers and lost 3.5lb. I did make a plan and pretty much stuck to it so very pleased. Only another 3.5lbs to go to reach my goal. Bit like Al, I am just not giving up.

Papmom - you seemed to have had a lovely Sunday. Hope your cold is a bit better. I seem to h ave picked one up from the kids, the first one I have had all winter.

Everyone else big hello and have a great week.

Rustop

[Stargazerlily]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Good morning, on this chillly Tuesday!

Blonde, how sad that your mother got drunk, made critical and rude comments in front of the entire family, and passed out on the way home. Being assertive with her when she is sober might be the way to go. You know, I feel humiliated when you criticize me in front of everyone because it is hurtful. She may not even remember what she said! And we all know that is the sad truth. It will be OK if she is uncomfortable, she needs to be. I can assure you, that none of us are more "fun" when we are drunk. Stupid, annoying, rude, assanine(?) maybe, but more fun? No way, as evidenced by your mother's behavior. We are all proud of you and know how hard it is to do what you did on Easter, in the midst of all that drinking. Please be proud of yourself, you are already being true to what you know is best for you.

Lav, you new baby is so adorable, what a great time to get a new puppy, in the spring. I love baby animals, but already have too many!

Pap, what a great time. I wonder what is up with the continuing colds. Could you have a food allergy? I only mention this as I had a co-worker who had ongoing sinus/cold infections, even surgery, and found out later she was allergic to wheat and dairy, the cause of all the illness. It was tough for her to change her diet, but when she did she was no longer ill. Glad you enjoyed your new ride, it is fun with a new vehicle.

Dil, loved the quotes, back to school are you?

Sunni, my daughter left too, and I miss her! It is so hard when we live a distance from our kids. Ouch.

Rustop, good for you losing that weight.

To all, have a great day. Just work for me today!

[BlondeAFAmbition]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Morning Flyers! Another beautiful day has started and I'm happy to get living it! Glad to be starting it with all of you!

Lav-Love the Lavan-Tude!!! And BlondePower! We are strong women...all of us!

Rustop-Congrats on the 3.5 LB weight loss! It feels so great to reach goals, doesn't it? Yep, I agree that my mother is surely in denial. At 74 years old, I don't think she will ever change and that's ok. I changed. I love her and accept her as she is. Afterall, she is my mother. And Star, I do think I need to have that conversation with her. Thank you for your kind words...they mean so much! I am feeling much more positive today. Maybe cause I'm listening to a Louise Hay affirmation CD...lol. Love her...!

Well, wrapping up my coffee and MWO session in a few minutes once I check in with my gang on the daily Tuesday thread. Oh, guess what. Today is 49 Days!!! I was actually day ahead of myself and thought I was at 50 but that's ok...more to look forward to tomorrow...plus I am getting ready for my 2 days off after today...whooohooo!

Peace to everyone!

Love,

Blondie

[Lavande]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Hey Flockers!

Finally remembered to ask for the password for the wi fi at my son's house. Glad I brought my iPad!
I have dropped EB off at preschool, now I can 'relax' with Will for a few hours.
Happy to report I parked Matilda's crate right next to my bed so we all slept for 6 straight hours - nice!

Ruston, congrats on the weight loss! You are so close to your goal. Im still looking at another 10 lbs but I'm not giving up either. Forgive the typos - its an iPad issue...

Blonde, 50 days tomorrow, AWESOME!!!!!

Star, hope you are having a nice day! And don't work too hard.
I have a bit of work to do myself at some point today.....

Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!
Lav

[Bouv57]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Good morning (barely)! Almost noon here in the Eastern U.S.

Anyway, I was ready to hop on and congratulate Blonde on 50 days - glad I read your recent posts first. Tomorrow will be here before you know it, so Congratulations.

So sorry to hear about the criticism from the person you expect to turn to for approval. Maybe someday the light will go on. Alcohol is so full of empty calories! I don't think you can possibly drink heavily and be fit.

I need to say Thanks (I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately, but you guys understand, because you obviously believe in MWO. :h)

Guitarista, thanks for the Tool Box link - it's invaluable.
Tipplerette - your quote ("If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." ? Lao-Tzu) is on the board in my supply area (I buy office supplies and manage a storeroom). There are many others you have all posted that I plan to use in the future.

I love this line from LBH: "I think you will find as others are discovering on this thread that giving up alcohol opens up over time so many areas of life experience that were overshadowed by it." For sure!
Rusty - your travel story about less people drinking is inspiring. I'm off to relocate one of our offices at the end of this month. In the past, it was an opportunity to work hard in the day, then drink hard in the evening, for a few days. This trip, I plan to be the one that feels great in the morning.

PapMom - I, also, drive a Jeep grand Cherokee, but mine would be jealous if he EVER saw that rockin' vehicle of yours!

And Thanks to everyone for inspiring quotes and honest, meaningful dialogue. This would be difficult for me in a room full of people, but the anonymity helps me to open up.

By the way, I have to mention a post that I picked up under Just Starting Out. Nollie is a Reiki practitioner that offered support as a trial to anyone that requests it. I took her up on this and asked if I could mention her name here. She agreed, and the post is dated 4/4 in case you're interested.

All the best wishes for a great day. I need to hit Send before it's no longer morning!

Bouv

[ladybirdheart]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Heavens! The interaction with your mother sounds so sad, Blondie, I can see why you were rattled by it. It is painful to see someone, particularly a woman of a certain age, embarrass themselves like that; it would have been so nice to have had a quiet understanding with her and feel her pride and support in your accomplishment. Sometimes it seems we are just on our own even more than others. You help me everyday in one way or another and every one here is bursting with pride for you. As you know I have had a hard time sustaining abstinence and your story reminded me of how last year my "powerful" sister-in-law bullied me into having a small glass a champagne during a wedding toast after I had been sober for a few weeks. At the time I was completely caught off guard and she made it sound that by not putting alcohol to my lips at that particular time I was somehow not honoring the couple. I grew up largely on my own and have little skill with sibling/parental/in-law banter, and although I later thought of all sorts of gently funny things I could have said, you know ?the wit of the staircase? phenomena, at the time I was blindsided and drank my champagne like a good little girl. Now I shall also have a memory of you with me. Also, in a manner similar to your husband, Lord Bird Heart doesn?t particularly care if I drink or not, it is as if it is none of his business. He had his own alcohol addition and quit over twenty years ago and he just wishes me health and happiness, leaving it up to me to find my way. So that is what I keep working on. I am so glad you are staying with us Bouv, you have a sweet voice. Love, Ladybird.

[Chillgirl]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Hi guys

Im just on route to bed after a busy day. I've been spinning at the gym, more packing and dentist. I had toothache and despite exrays he couldnt find a problem. Anyway I had a huge old filling extracted from my back molar and underneath was a hairline crack which had been causing the pain. It was worth all the drilling to get a new one in and hopefully some relief.

Blondie - I just caught up with your post and want to send you the biggest :l You are such a lovely bubbly person and your energy and zest for life spills out of your posts. I understand why your Mother's comment troubled you but I dont think it was "what she said" I think we are bothered when someone close to us says something hurtful, whatever it might be. Drunk people say dumb things and you know yourself that there is actually nothing more boring than drunk people!!

Wayne Dyer always uses a fun example when people ask him about insults from others. He says that other peoples oppinions are their oppinions, nothing more and certainly not truths. If someone called you a car (which is obviously ridiculous! :H) you wouldnt be hurt because its simple not true, even if the person thinks you are. To call you boring is just the same thing and I wouldnt waste your precious energy dwelling on it.

Your Mother is one of your greatest teachers and right now she is showing you what you dont want to become. See it as a blessing, you are going to grow into such an incredible person and blossom more and more with your continued sobriety. I say celebrate seeing the world through your new clear eyes!

Im off to bed to dream of my date tomorrow.........:h

[Lavande]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Hi all,
Long & grueling day today but everyone survived :H :H

Talk to you tomorrow

[sunshine_gg]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Uh-oh.. that don't sound right, Lav! :l

Long and friggin freezin day here and I think everyone survived. I'm thinking bubble bath, fluffy jammies & socks and BED. Oh.. and a cup of tea would be nice.

I've been somewhat reflective these past couple of days. I'm really, REALLY grateful to be sober and sane. And.. present.

I really do credit all of you in large part. Thank you. And, night night!

Oh... Cyn.. since you are into the horsie stuff so much: I had a real 'Yay!' moment with Trouble (the old, stubborn, rather rude gelding) last night. After bringing him in, taking off lead rope, the mandatory cuddles & treat (tucking in for bed, I suppose).. he was ready to start in on his hay. The shortest way would have been turning right but that would have turned his rear end to me (rude!). He started out that way for a nano second (and I was waiting and ready to smack his rump)... when I he stopped dead in his tracks and I could actually see him thinking this over. He decided to 'bow out' - meaning lowering his head and taking a step back (very polite!) and THEN turning. Good boy. We're getting there.. baby steps

[rustop59]

April AF Flock ~ Week 2

Good morning everyone

The sun is shining so hopefully it will be a nice day. Off swimming in a little while. My daughter is still on holidays so no shcool runs, yeah!!! Still have this cold but a little better. I have not had a cold in so long I forgot how yughy it is.

Will catch you all later, just wanted to wish you all a happy hump day.

Rustop