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**DizzyBee** · April 10, 2012, 03:17 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Hey Bear - what, no coffee?

Just teasing. Hey, 28 days is a really good goal. I'm two weeks in and I can already feel the changes in my body. So well done for making that decision and I wish you strength on your journey.

My goal at the moment is also 4-6 weeks AF. I have not decided yet what I will do then, I may actually continue but as I am moving to the UK chances are I may take a break but I post here while I AB as it is encouraging and it is sometimes a bit hard to relate to modders while you are in an abber frame of mind (god, where did all this lingo come from)

Anyway all you good people. Day 15 here and I lost 5 pounds, not bad! Only bad thing is this is the second day that I've had the headache from hell. I've had almost no headaches the other days including the first week of AF. Any idea why this may pop up now? I have been eating healthily and including mung bean sprouts - it could be released toxins?

Have a great day y'all.

**DizzyBee** · April 10, 2012, 03:25 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Oh, my head hurts!!! Any idea why I have a migraine on day 15 of my sobriety!!

WTE - is that your pup on your avatar pic in the blue shades? Does he like being dressed up

Space and Mimi - I think I've been too much of a busy body here. The Topa is just working for me and for that I'm really really lucky. Other than that I take supplements and I'm ticking off sober days, mostly because I want to lose weight. (Day 15 and 5 pounds) I'm in no position to give advice because if the Topa wasnt working I may as well have been typing this with a bloody mary next to me.

Sorry guys, I'm grouchy as hell. I had to take 4 days off work as my brother was off and home and my study is in the lounge and it now looks like I'm going to lose another days work due to a migraine. I'm going to write a proper reply as soon as I can see through my eyelids again.

**sugarbeat** · April 10, 2012, 03:51 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Good morning all, no coffee :egad: I'm going again!

I trotting along nicely, alittle bt off today but I know tha dreaded time of the monthis right round the corner, so Im n high alert as to not let it get me too down and give too much attention to my head when it goes off on it's little riots of negetivity.

Little thing about me is that I am quiet a cheery person in my natural state, but since this alcoholism (I've no probs admitting it,in my case) madness came into my life, when I get a wee bit down, I have a load of stored up amo in my tank from all the madness and regret from the drink, so I can be quiet hard on myself, I'm working on this whole letting go thing,so in future when beastly thoughts or that time of the month pops in I'll have alot less to get me down. Off to do my meditation now, and make the best out of today

Have a good one everyone

**Almostfamous** · April 10, 2012, 06:19 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Good morning Bear, Dizzy and Sugar and all the rest of you lovelies to follow,

Well I went ahead and made my own coffee but it just wasn't as good.

Bear, the one thing I can say from experience is that it gets harder and harder to dig your heels in and quit. I have to take it day by day and the longer I stay alc free, the more I know that I don't ever want to go back to where I was. It is overwhelming to think of "forever" but more overwhelming to think of drinking again. I'd rather suffer some uncomfortable cravings than go back down that road.

Hi Dizzy, great job on your 2 weeks. I am almost to day 50 and it feels great!

Sugar- I hear meditation works wonders. Good for you!

I'll check in later. Happy NO-boozeday Tuesday!!!

**ThreeDogNight** · April 10, 2012, 06:21 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Good morning, Bear, Dizzy and Sugar--and all Abbers coming to join us today!

Where the heck is Shue and the French Roast? I do have French Roast for you, but not made in the press, and no decaf for Sugar. And no sticky buns or anything1
Bear, just loving having you back!! When I was back here after rehab, you were our wake up girl every morning, and I so looked forward to that!
Dizzy, I know that PAWS can occur for something like a year or more, so bet the headaches stem from that. Try a hot bath or jacuzzi with Epsom Salts followed by a hot shower. My massage friend told me last week that the shower is important to wash away the toxins so they don't seep back into the body.
Sugar, you continue to sound better and better! The ups and downs--we all have those, for sure, but staying AF helps that!
Lav--okay, I am in love with Matilda!!! What a cute pic of her next to Maxie!! Will you call her Mattie? Maybe too close to Maxie when you are calling her, but it sounds so cute!

We had a Maddie, short for Madison.
Kas, the pic of your grand baby is sweet! Sad that the babies' father is not helping.
Fly--yikes, that vodka story is scaring me!! I think I've mentioned this so many times, but I have a book about a big rehab place in PA started a long time ago, and the founder writes that the family c

an undo in five minutes what it has taken us five months to do Eventually the family will sabotage our recovery, consciously or unconsciously. yesterday at my women's group we talekd about that, and one woman said that "family" is the other "F" word! I would definitley dump that out or give it away ASAP!!
Pap, sound like sis and dad need to take a lesson from you!
Blondie, I read your posts about Easter on another thread, and your mother is definitely working on sabotaging your recovery!! You were strong in resisting all the AL being offered to you, and good for you!! Seeing others half in the bag is a good lesson!
Oh--my sister's nanny is not really a nanny--she helps with the dog (she is a dog walker) and does drive my niece to and from her many activities when needed, but I have never known her to drink until she is finished with all of her responsibilities. My sister is the same. She is a very successful attorney and did have a DUI about 19 yrs ago while visiting us, but that was the end of her driving after drinking. I know thatthat is why she wouldn't come and pick me up from the police station last May when I got my first DUI and had to sleep in the police station. She just won't admit it.
Well--found out yesterday that I did not get the job at the insurance agency. I was the second choice, but they found someone who already has her insurance license. And honestly, I was kind of relived, as i started thinking over the weekend that I am probably just trying to get A job, ANY job, just to make some money and get out of the house. I now accept that things that are meant to be will happen when the time is right. So for now, I can stay with my kid's group at the church on Wednesdays and help at the flower shop.
Don't know why I never start out to write a novel here, but it ends up that way!:H
Check back later to see what everyone is up to!!

TDN

**BlondeAFAmbition** · April 10, 2012, 06:54 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Hi Abbers!

Dizzy, the detox headache could in fact be from the sprouts. I experienced similiar headache when I was taking wheatgrass. Hope you feel better soon!

Bear, best wishes on your 28 days! Setting goals is a perfect way to set yourself up to succeed. One step at a time. Great job on your AF time!

Where is Shue? We have been spoiled by her gourmet coffee blends! Hope you are having a great morning my dear!

Almost and I are "almost" at 50 days! I messed up and thought TODAY was 50 days when in fact it is forty nine but hey, that's still not bad..lol. Although there's something about 50 that I am really looking forward to!

Well, of to my wonderful job and may love and prosperity bless you all today!

Blessings of joy,

Blondie

**shueaddict** · April 10, 2012, 07:18 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Hello, family, boy i have missed you - I am in a Center parks resort with my hubby''s extended family (8 adults 6 kids) This place is a zoo ... for kids - i.e. They are truly delighted. Not really Briliant for super busy corporate types like me with a newly found decreased tolerance for this kind of racket. i just need QUIET . Not happening this week.
Mobile phone coverage is atrocious, wifi is limited to 2 remote places ... Had to plan to actually get here and post, away from prying eyes.

Last night i had loads of tonic water, tonight my BIL is making mojitos i keep popping to the shop to buy sodas and tonic, staying AF here I really need to be proactive ... Ah ... And the good coffee

I' ll probably not be able to log on over the next few days, I'll miss you guys.

**shueaddict** · April 10, 2012, 07:23 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Dizzy, headaches come with the detox territory
Tnd - how's the foot?
Fly - can you return your "present" and get store credit.?

Sugar, big hug, hang in there
Bear- nice to see you here

Off to another stogy lunch. You know you're in Britain whhen you ask for a spaghetti bolognese, kid's portion and they ask " would you like that with chips or mash ?"

Apologies if i offended any uk natives ... I just need to VENT.

**sunshine_gg** · April 10, 2012, 07:55 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Morning Fabbies!

I slept like I was dead and I wish I still was. Sleeping.. not dead. It's SN**ING out! Sigh.

I had a look at local news this morning, and as I suspected, the driver of the truck in my lane died in the accident yesterday. I couldn't have imagined anyone walking away from that - it was just horrific. Thankfully, the other 2 people in the rolled over truck got away with non life threatening injuries and the big waste truck driver wasn't injured at all.

Dizzy, congrats on the 5lbs, not so much the headache.
Shue, sorry about the 'zoo' and modified Italian cuisine. Try to enjoy your time regardless :l
Blondie, so sorry about your Easter visit with family. I agree that a talk with your mother (when sober) is in order. Btw, you are doing fantastic and if she isn't super proud of you... I am.
TDN.. the right thing will present itself at the right time. The teacher - pupil thing, I suppose. Hang in there. You, too, are doing absolutely fabulous.

Hello to Sugar, Almost, Bear, and all to come! Especially Lav and her ankle biter :H More pictures please, Lav!

**Lavande** · April 10, 2012, 09:03 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Good morning Abbers!

Slept for 6 straight hours last night! Put the pup in her crate, parked the crate right next to my bed & it all worked out great!
I am currently at my son's house watching 1 year old Will after dropping EB off at preschool - so much easier watching just one kid at a time!!!!

Bear, nice to see you starting up the thread this morning. Sorry that you are still so conflicted.
I personally found all this MUCH easier to handle when I just gave up any hope of ever drinking again. I had to decide what I wanted more - poison or my ability to function & feel as well as I do now. None of this good stuff in my life (grand kids & puppies, improved health & outlook) would be possible if I had chosen AL three years ago.

Shue, I sure hope your week improves!

Sunni, my biggest fear always was & still is dying on the highway, so sad.

TDN, enjoy the pleasant jobs - insurance is not one of them. I spent 18 months working for a title insurance company when I first left nursing - it seriously sucked!

Greetings to Blondie, Sugar, Almost, Dizzy & everyone!
I'll be back later when I get home & back to puppy land!

Lav

**sugarbeat** · April 10, 2012, 10:55 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

My god we'll need to get a stand in to make to coffee tomorrow morning, Shue keep on doing what you're doing, but we miss your head around here

and big hugs right back at you

Ello all my other friends, decided on a wee afternoon checkin

Almostfamous;1294611 wrote: Bear, the one thing I can say from experience is that it gets harder and harder to dig your heels in and quit. I have to take it day by day and the longer I stay alc free, the more I know that I don't ever want to go back to where I was. It is overwhelming to think of "forever" but more overwhelming to think of drinking again. I'd rather suffer some uncomfortable cravings than go back down that road.

Agree with everything AF says here, the longer you leave it and the more attempts, the harder it gets. I'd like to say something about the reality of alcohol abuse/ addiction for me. I've met allot of people on my recovery path and even on these boards, there is rarely someone that I couldn't identify with at some stage of my journey. The thing I have truly come to believe since beginning is that it is progressive, I began like some here, I had a great job, great partner, excellent education, I'm quiet pretty too (I'm not being vein because I couldn't see it or care about it during my addiction) a super family and amazing friends, the reality today is much of this has been damaged, none beyond repair, I've seen the miracles, the healing has already begun for me but by god its bloody hard at times.

If I could go back and shake myself 3 years ago I would but I can't but the one thing I can do is pass this on to others in the hope that it will in some way prevent them from going through the devastating pain I have gone through and I don't use the word lightly.

Today for instance, I woke up did my meditation, went an AA meeting, (all the right things) felt a bit off with the old period looming and wanted to go straight home, but had to go on an hour detour to another town because my dad gave me a lift, this got me irritated because I was irritated in the first place due to nature

but also I wanted to head home and do some extra cleaning before my Mam came back from holidays. I didn't want to be grumpy with my Dad because he is the best in the world but I got overwhelmed from my negative thinking and then the tears came. I did not expect this today but that’s how it arrives sometimes. The difference between me and an average woman having her period is that I have a bucket load of stuff readily available to me to be negative about myself, the negative thinking habit which is also hard to kick! This is the residue of alcohol abuse and the inner turmoil and pain can be so horrible. I wasn't always like this but my addiction slid and the further it slid the more baggage(places I went, things I did that are so far removed from my true self) I picked up.

Now I pulled out of this little mood I don't have the luxury of wallowing in it too long and by doing all the right things I am slowly but surely getting back in control of my emotions, confidence and peace of mind. At times tough its feels like my emotions and thinking is like a robot and I'm learning how to push the right paddles and buttons again, and I don't always get to right. But deep inside I know I have so much strength and value and love that I 'm going to put up a good fight.

Wishie washy attempts don't work (been there done that) and sometimes people work very hard and still stumble but often come back with a stronger fight in them.

I do hope this might help someone put their 2 feet fully into the abstinence boat before they gather more painful baggage, and the hill gets steeper, save yourself the hassle.

I'm off now to do a bit of work after my wee story and listening to some happy music

**Kaslo** · April 10, 2012, 11:03 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Good morning everyone, hi Bear. Keep going. You may find that your resolve deepens with each day.

Lav, seriously cute pup. Turn and Sunni, snow is for the north and south pole at this time of the year.

Ima preface my comments on toxicity and withdrawal from AL use as follows: My understanding of human pathology of the liver is not complete, I am not a human pathologist, I am a toxicologist, and so if the headaches are really troublesome, please see a doctor asap, and if any of you have a doctor that is clueless about AL withdrawal and recovery then get a referral to one that has some experience understanding and a long background. So...

Dizzybee, the general neuropathology of post-withdrawal symptoms such as headache and various sleep disorders, so common in recovering alcoholics varies with each person. Each person responds very differently in the weeks and months and years following initial detox from alcohol abuse. At first when I read Blondies idea that it could be the mung sprouts I kind of sat back a bit, because the probability of this is very low compared with the most common causes of headache post withdrawal. But she may be right. However there are a few common pathways in the toxicity of AL withdrawal that are more likely. Alcohol detoxification is accompanied by sustained difficulties in sleep initiation, maintenance of deep sleep, and increase in apnea, and this often contributes to relapse. I dont want to discourage people but sleep and headache issues sometimes reoccur for up to four years in a few unfortunate people. You can have these issues with poor sleep and not be aware of them, and attribute them to some other cause, and they do contribute to that particularly nagging post withdrawal headache that is so common in people like us.

Thier are a lot of studies (despite the science literature saying there are few, they always do that....) on pharmacuetical treatments of post withdrawal headaches, but few (actually) investigating the cause because brain surgery and pathological studies on recovering AL people are few and far between, obviously, for ethical reasons. And rats and mice and dogs cant talk.

Simply put I think the cause of headache is a combination of three things,

1. Lack of proper sleep patterns SO common ( and we know this because we actually can study it),
2. accumulation of toxins in the blood and the failure of our stressed liver and kidneys to remove them
3. systemic DEHYDRATION.

IT takes a lot of water through the tissues and organs, blood and brain to remove the toxins that build up from years of too much AL. These are a group of aldehyde derivatives that suck the water out of your body every day, and its usually not replaced. (Too much coffee, sorry Shue, can be a problem in recovery because of its diuretic capability. Also sleep issues here...). The aldehyde derivatives are residual in the brain, for a long time. Imagine shrink wrapping your brain with some broken glass in the mix. After the other symptoms of recovery are gone, the broken glass can get a bit uncomfortable.

TDN mentions purging your body of toxins and recommends a lot of sauna, baths epsom salts etc and she is quite right, there. This will help in the first month or so, but the reason for the delay in the presentation of the headache is most likely to be a combination of poor sleep and dehydration. So while the baths and saunas may feel really great be careful to totally rehydrate with a LOT of fresh clean water and to try to do this early in the day, because you dont want to further complicate your poor kidneys and liver recovery by coping with a lot of flushing and having to pee at night when the main silent problem, the one we probably dont even realize is most important.....a complete, sound long SLEEP.

I hope you guys dont hate when I do this. I know some of you might not be crazy about it, but what the hell. Being a toxicologist did not prevent me from destroying my body for a decade or so, either. I am just a bag of electrolytes water protien and fats same as yall.

Love to all

Kaslo.

**Kaslo** · April 10, 2012, 11:06 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Cross post Sugar.. as above, so below. You have come a long way. You were like what you describe here 24 7 two months ago. You have to be patient with your own biology. Its a pain in the arse, I know.

Love to you on this fine April day. Get some exercise, if you can? Maybe that will help.

kas

**sugarbeat** · April 10, 2012, 11:23 AM

AF daily Tuesday 10 april

Fear not Kas I'm doing fine, I find writting it down very therapeutic too, the difference between now and then is I'm getting alot better at pulling myself out of it, there's been a good shift and I like it

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